1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You

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1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You Page 25

by Cary McNeal


  Julie J. Shaffner, Kasey Jo Warner, and W. Wyatt Hoback, Filth Flies: Experiments to Test Flies as Vectors of Bacterial Disease (The American Biology Teacher Online, Feb 2007).

  * * *

  780

  FACT : Houseflies can also carry microbes of conjunctivitis (pinkeye) from diseased eyes to healthy eyes, including trachoma, a highly contagious cause of blindness throughout the world. Which ranks trachoma ahead of other causes of blindness such as science and the light. (Springer, 2008).

  Mitchell H. Friedlaender, “Conjunctivitis,” The Merck Manuals Online Medical Library, June 2008, www.merck.com.

  * * *

  781

  FACT : Flies typically transmit their harmful microorganisms to humans through our mouths, when we eat food on which they have landed and deposited their feces and bacteria. I suppose that’s better than letting them crap right into your mouth. But not by much.

  Julie J. Shaffner, Kasey Jo Warner, and W. Wyatt Hoback, Filth Flies: Experiments to Test Flies as Vectors of Bacterial Disease (The American Biology Teacher Online, Feb 2007).

  * * *

  782

  FACT : In 1979, the Linondoll Pest Control Company of Schenectady, New York had the honor of treating the world’s largest cockroach infestation: 3 million roaches inhabited the walls, ceilings, floors, attic, and basement of a two-family dwelling. Sounds more like two families inhabited a 3-million-roach dwelling.

  Mark L. Winston, Nature Wars: People Vs. Pests (Harvard University Press, 1999).

  * * *

  783

  FACT : There are 4,000 species of cockroach in the world, 95 percent of them able to survive completely independent of humans. We’d get along just fine without them, too.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  784

  FACT : A cockroach can survive for several weeks with no head. Yes, but it spends those weeks bumping into walls and screaming, “Where the FUCK is my head?!”

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  785

  FACT : Cockroaches can crawl through astonishingly small spaces. Young cockroaches need just a dime-sized crevice while adults males can squeeze into a space the width of a quarter. Pregnant females require the width of two nickels. If they all try to squeeze through at the same time, they’ll need a space about the size of a half-dollar coin. Those are pretty hard to find these days, which is why roaches usually just go through holes one at a time.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  786

  FACT : In Africa, cattle bitten by the O. savignyi breed of tick may die of toxicosis in just one day. Right before the animal dies, it makes a horrible grimace that researchers call the “O. savignyi Face,” or “O Face” for short.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  787

  FACT : Hundreds of pets and livestock are injured or killed by tick paralysis, a result of bites from certain breeds of ticks. The severity of the paralysis depends on the number of female tick bites received by the host. Of course it does. Weaker sex, my ass.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  788

  FACT : There are 1,250 species of scorpions in the world, on every continent but Antarctica. Their toxic stings can result in abdominal cramps, blurred vision, partial paralysis, abnormal eye movements, priapism (persistent erection), hypertension, tachycardia, convulsions, and death from respiratory paralysis. Aside from the priapism, scorpion bites sound like a drag.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  “Priapism,” Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, www.merriam-webster.com.

  * * *

  789

  FACT : The United States is home to just one dangerous species of scorpion, C. exilacauda, or the Arizona Bark scorpion, but beware: its sting can cause respiratory failure, metabolic acidosis, and death. Other scorpion species exist here, but the Bark is much worse than their bites.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  “The Scorpion Files, Centru-roides exilicauda,” Norwegian University of Science and Technology, www.ub.ntnu.no.

  * * *

  790

  FACT : There are an estimated 40,000 scorpion stings every year in Morocco. Hopefully not all on the same guy.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  791

  FACT : The seemingly harmless ladybug has been known to inflict unprovoked bites and release a defensive secretion that causes a stinging sensation on human skin. Not very ladylike, if you ask me.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  792

  FACT : Many parasitic worms use beetles as intermediate hosts to get to humans. One case from the Mississippi Department of Health reported an eight-centimeter worm found in a baby’s diaper; the infant had presumably ingested an infected beetle via contaminated flour or bread products. If you’ve ever changed a poopy diaper, there’s really nothing you could find in there that would surprise you—a worm, a frog, Jimmy Hoffa, whatever.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  793

  FACT : When threatened, blister beetles secrete a chemical that will produce a sore within a few hours of penetrating the skin. This chemical agent is poisonous to some animal species, and, when ingested, can lead to abdominal pain, kidney damage, and even death. The blister beetle will also secrete some chemicals when stamped into smithereens by my foot, which is what will happen to any beetle that gives me a blister.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  794

  FACT : Marketed as a sexual stimulant for thousands of years, the Spanish fly is a European blister beetle that has been dried, crushed, and consumed, but doing so can cause painful urination, fever, and permanent damage to the kidneys and genitals. Proving once again that being a sucker has always been painful.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  John L. Capinera, Encyclopedia of Entomology, 2nd ed.

  * * *

  795

  FACT : It would take 500–800 honey bee stings to kill a human based on the toxic effects of the venom alone, but to someone with a bee allergy, one sting can cause a deadly anaphylactic reaction. If you get stung 500–800 times by bees, you need better sneakers.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  796

  FACT : Long-term lice infection of humans can result in what’s known as secondary sensitization, or a feeling of apathy, pessimism, or irritability, hence the term, “feeling lousy.” Long-term lice infection of a human can also result in what’s known as never having a date, ever. This also creates a feeling of apathy, irritability, pessimism, and chronic virginity.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  797

  FACT : The skin of people who continually harbor body lice hardens and becomes darkly pigmented, and is commonly known as vagabond’s syndrome. I always thought vagabond’s syndrome was roaming the country with all your stuff tied up in a kerchie
f at the end of a stick and singing songs like “Jimmy Crack Corn.”

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  * * *

  798

  FACT : The praying mantis is a formidable predator with a large head, numerous eyes, powerful front legs, and quick reflexes that are difficult to notice with the naked eye. Their prey includes flies, grasshoppers, moths, and other insects. I once saw a praying mantis kill a mouse. You don’t forget something like that.

  “Praying Mantis,” Animals, National Geographic, http://animals.nationalgeographic.com.

  * * *

  799

  FACT : The praying mantis will eat its own kind. The most famous example of this is the female’s notorious mating behavior where she sometimes eats the male just after—or even during—mating. Whether it’s after or during depends largely on how good he is in the sack.

  “Praying Mantis,” Animals, National Geographic, http://animals.nationalgeographic.com.

  * * *

  800

  FACT : Some caterpillars possess poisonfilled spines that break off and release venom-like substances into human skin upon contact. Some caterpillars need to be introduced to Mrs. Praying Mantis.

  Jerome Goddard, Physician’s Guide to Arthropods of Medical Importance, 5th ed. (CRC Press, 2007).

  “Praying Mantis,” Animals, National Geographic, http://animals.nationalgeographic.com.

  “Stomach bots in horses,” Cooperative Extension System, www.extension.org.

  “Killer Insects: 6 Natural Born Anthropod Assassins,” WebEcoist, September 21, 2008, www.webecoist.com.

  Alex Levinton, “The 5 Most Horrifying Bugs in the World,” Cracked.com, www.cracked.com.

  CHAPTER 17

  Foreign

  Objects

  Strange Facts

  about Faraway

  Places Where

  People Talk Funny

  * * *

  801

  FACT : A mummified hand has been on display in city hall in Münster, Germany for 400 years. It belonged to a notary who falsely certified a document, and had his hand chopped off as punishment, then displayed as a warning. You should see the warning to flashers.

  Andrea Schulte-Peevers and others, Lonely Planet Germany, 5th ed. (Lonely Planet, 2007), 583.

  * * *

  802

  FACT : Flamingo tongue was a common delicacy at Roman feasts. You can still find it today in vienna sausages and deviled ham.

  Noel Botham, The Book of Useless Information (Perigee, 2006).

  * * *

  803

  FACT : In the Satere-Mawe tribe in South America, a boy being initiated into manhood is forced to wear gloves woven with hundreds of bullet ants, whose sting is considered the most painful of any insect. The ants sting the boy until he passes out from pain; if he can be revived, he is considered a true man. Is he disqualified if he craps himself?

  Alex Levinton, “The 5 Most Horrifying Bugs in the World,” Cracked.com, www.cracked.com.

  Steve Backshall, Venom: Poisonous Animals in the Natural World (New Holland Publishers, 2007).

  * * *

  804

  FACT : In Britain, placing a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down is considered treason. Even if she looks better that way?

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  805

  FACT : In France, you are forbidden to name a pig “Napoleon.” The French hate redundancy.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  806

  FACT : By law, a pregnant woman can urinate anywhere she wants in Britain— even, if she so chooses, in a police officer’s helmet. But if she has to go number two, she’ll need to find a Queen’s Guard with the big furry hat. Gotta wipe, you know.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  807

  FACT : Masturbation is an offense punishable by decapitation in Indonesia. Tell me they at least let you finish.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  808

  FACT : Drunk driving is handled seriously in El Salvador. In San Salvador, offenders may be sentenced to death by firing squad. Except that the firing squad soldiers are usually drunk, too, and tend to miss.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  809

  FACT : Male doctors in Bahrain are not legally permitted to look directly at a woman’s genitals: they may only examine them with a mirror. I bet that makes childbirth fun.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  810

  FACT : It is illegal for a cab in London to carry rabid dogs or corpses. I hope Keith Richards has his own car.

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  811

  FACT : All males fourteen years or older are to perform longbow practice for two hours each day in England. Is that what the kids call that now? We called it “beating the bishop.”

  Alex Wade, “The World’s Strangest Laws,” Times Online, August 15, 2007, www.business.timesonline.co.uk.

  * * *

  812

  FACT : An Australian writer was sentenced to three years in a Thai prison and experienced “unspeakable suffering” because of a few lines in his self-published novel that were deemed insulting to the monarchy. The book sold only seven copies. The “unspeakable suffering” occurred when they read his book aloud to him.

  Grant Peck, “Australian Convicted of Insulting Thai Monarchy,” ABC News, January 19, 2009, www.abcnews.go.com.

  * * *

  813

  FACT : In Lebanon, men are permitted to have sexual intercourse with an animal, but only if it is female. Sex with a male animal is punishable by death. If you survive the attempt, that is.

  Eve Marx, What’s Your Sexual IQ? (Citadel Press, 2004), 175.

  * * *

  814

  FACT : It is against the law in France to sell a doll with a face that is not human. Which is why no one makes a Sarah Jessica Parker Barbie in France.

  Noel Botham, The Best Book of Useless Information Ever: A Few Thousand Other Things You Probably Don’t Need to Know (but Might as Well Find Out) (Perigee, 2007).

  * * *

  815

  FACT : Donald Duck was once banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear any pants. Finns, you didn’t miss anything.

  Noel Botham, The Best Book of Useless Information Ever: A Few Thousand Other Things You Probably Don’t Need to Know (but Might as Well Find Out) (Perigee, 2007), 46.

  * * *

  816

  FACT : One of Taiwan’s most successful theme restaurant chains is Modern Toilet, where customers sit on commodes and enjoy chocolate ice cream and curry chicken served in dishes shaped like small toilets to resemble feces. The closest thing we have is to that is Chili’s, but their food only tastes like it came from the toilet.

 

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