by Cary McNeal
Kevin Bonsor, “How Time Travel Will Work,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
* * *
888
FACT : Other scientists believe that wormholes have the greatest potential for time travel; they could, in theory, permit travel light-years away from Earth in just a fraction of the time required for conventional space travel. I wish this were true. I’d travel ahead in time and see what joke I came up with for this entry.
Kevin Bonsor, “How Time Travel Will Work,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
* * *
889
FACT : In December 1862, the merchant ship Mary Celeste was discovered adrift in the Atlantic Ocean, unmanned and abandoned despite fair weather. The crew was never found, nor was any clue as to how or why they vanished. There can’t possibly be any reasonable explanation; no, it could only be aliens or magic holes in the sea or the Chupacabra. Maybe even King Tut’s curse.
Angus Konstam, Ghost Ships: Tales of Abandoned, Doomed, and Haunted Vessels (Globe Pequot, 2005), 78.
* * *
890
FACT : According to legend, a Dutch sea captain who wrecked near the Cape of Good Hope in the seventeenth century was punished for blasphemy and tempting fate by having to relive his ordeal for all eternity. The phantom of his ship, the Flying Dutchman, is said to haunt the waters off the Cape of Good Hope, bringing doom to any mariner who sees it. Cape of Good Hope-I Don’t-See-That-Sumbitch.
Angus Konstam, Ghost Ships: Tales of Abandoned, Doomed, and Haunted Vessels (Globe Pequot, 2005), 62.
* * *
891
FACT : From their home on the island of Crete, the Minoans once dominated the commerce and culture of the eastern Mediterranean. But in 1500 B.C., their advanced civilization came to a catastrophic end: temples and palaces fell into ruin, viaducts crumbled, and residents died or mysteriously disappeared. Maybe the Flying Dutchman was vacationing in the Mediterranean and they saw him.
Frank Joseph, The Destruction of Atlantis: Compelling Evidence of the Sudden Fall of the Legendary Civilization (Inner Traditions/Bear & Company, 2004).
* * *
892
FACT : In 1918, the U.S. Navy collier Cyclops vanished in the Bermuda Triangle shortly after departing Barbados for the United States. Neither the ship nor her crew of 309 sailors was ever seen again. In an official statement, the U.S. government called the Cyclops disappearance “one of the most baffling mysteries in the annals of the Navy,” as there were no reported German submarines in the area at that time. No reported submarines. Isn’t that sort of the idea of submarines?
“Seven Disappearances In the Bermuda Triangle,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
* * *
893
FACT : In 1587, 120 English men and women settled on Roanoke Island off the coast of Virginia, but when the colony’s governor traveled back to England for more financial and material resources for the foundering settlement and returned three years later, the entire colony had vanished. That fast, huh? I think a glacier could disappear in three years.
“Top Ten Famous Disappearances,” Time.com, www.time.com.
* * *
894
FACT : Dinosaurs evolved slowly on Earth over millions of years, surviving two distinct periods of mass extinction before dying out completely. The cause of their final, ultimate extinction is still unknown. I think I’ve got it figured out. The Roanoke Island colonists, tired of waiting for their governor, hitched a ride on the Mary Celeste, then dinosaurs ate both the colonists and the crew of the Mary Celeste and stole their boat so they could sail to Crete and eat the Minoans, too. Then on their way back, the dinosaurs were hijacked by the Jersey Devil and the Chupacabra, who made them sail the ship around the Cape of Good Hope, where they all saw the Flying Dutchman and vanished forever.
“Mass Extinctions and The Evolution Of Dinosaurs,” Science Daily, September 30, 2008, www.sciencedaily.com.
Bonnie Sachatello-Sawyer and Don and Liza Charlesworth, “Why Did All Dinosaurs Become Extinct?” in Dinosaurs: The Very Latest Information and Hands-On Activities From the Museum of the Rockies, Liza Charlesworth and Bonnie Sachatello-Sawyer (Scholastic Professional, 1996).
* * *
895
FACT : Italian ten-year old Benedetto Supino made headlines in the 1980s for his apparent ability to set objects on fire just by looking at them. This became a problem when a teenaged Ben started checking out girls’ asses.
Worlds Most Incredible Stories (Barnes & Noble Publishing).
* * *
896
FACT : In the mid-nineteenth century, hunters in the Ochamchir region of Abkhazan captured a feral hair-covered woman with ape-like features who is believed to be a survivor of the Neanderthal race. The woman, named Zana by scientists who studied her, was tamed, shaved, and taught how to speak before moving to America and becoming a celebrity. Now she goes by a different name: Kim Kardashian.
Colin Wilson and Damon Wilson, The Mammoth Encyclopedia of the Unsolved (Carroll &Graf, 2000).
* * *
897
FACT : In 1971, a man who called himself Dan “D.B.” Cooper hijacked a plane, then parachuted out of it somewhere just north of Portland, Oregon, clutching a bag filled with $200,000 in stolen cash.
He was never seen again. Maybe he parachuted right into the Mount St. Helens volcano. Talk about bad luck.
“D.B. Cooper Redux,” Federal Bureau Of Investigation, December 31, 2007, www.fbi.gov.
* * *
898
FACT : In December 1966, the leg and foot of a ninety-two-year-old man was discovered in his Pennsylvania home and the rest of the body burned to a pile of ashes. Authorities could find no evidence of how the fire started, and no other place in the home was burned. There’s only one logical explanation:
God smote him. Maybe he was Amish and secretly had a TV.
“Spontaneous Human Combustion,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
* * *
899
FACT : Danish anatomist Thomas Bartholin reported the first spontaneous human combustion in 1663, describing a Parisian woman who “went up in ashes and smoke” in her sleep. Her straw bed was not hurt by the fire. She probably just set herself on fire.
Living in 1663 would’ve sucked.
“Spontaneous Human Combustion,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
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900
FACT : In 1951, a widow in St. Petersburg, Florida was found dead in a chair encircled by soot.
Her head was burned to the size of a teacup. Every other part of her body was charred to ash, save her backbone and a portion of her left foot. Spontaneous combustion is one of the most burning mysteries of our time, an incendiary topic which often leads to heated debate and flying sparks on both sides of the issue. Thank you. I’m here all week.
“Spontaneous Human Combustion,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.science.howstuffworks.com.
CHAPTER 19
We’re
Toast
Bad News about
Our World and
Why We’re All
Headed the Way
of the Dodo
* * *
901
FACT : Every year approximately 500 meteorites strike the Earth.
The trick is knowing where.
John S. Lewis, Physics and Chemistry of the Solar System, 2nd ed. (Academic Press, 2004).
* * *
902
FACT : The moon is moving away from Earth at a rate of 3.8 centimeters per year. We have a guy up there measuring it. You should see his ruler.
Neil F. Comins, Discovering the Essential Universe, 4th ed. (Macmillan, 2008).
* * *
903
FACT : In 1908, an explosion 1,000 times stronger than the bombing of Hiroshima occurred near the Tunguska River in Russia, most likely caused by a meteor or comet fragment that burs
t prior to hitting Earth. The blast leveled 80 million trees in a matter of seconds. They call it the Tunguska Event. A company picnic, prom, a pay-per-view boxing match—those are events.
A comet flattening a gazillion acres sounds a little more eventful.
David Wallechinsky, The New Book of Lists: The Original Compendium of Curious Information (Canongate U.S., 2005), 397.
“The Tunguska Event–100 Years Later,” Nasa.com, www.science.nasa.gov.
* * *
904
FACT : Many of the gases that make up Earth’s atmosphere are slowly leaking into space. Hot gases evaporate away, chemical reactions and particle collisions eject atoms and molecules, and asteroids and comets blast out chunks of atmosphere. My dogs slowly leak gas, too. You don’t hear anything, but you know it’s there, trust me.
Kevin J. Zahnle, David C. Catling, and Alfred T. Kamajian, “Our Planet’s Leaky Atmosphere,” Scientific American, May 2009, www.scientificamerican.com.
* * *
905
FACT: In the future, the depletion of hydrogen will dry out our oceans and all but shut down geologic cycles that stabilize our planet’s climate. Life might continue, but only in the polar regions. The polar bears are ready. Eating seals gets old after a while.
Kevin J. Zahnle, David C. Catling, and Alfred T. Kamajian, “Our Planet’s Leaky Atmosphere,” Scientific American, May 2009, www.scientificamerican.com.
* * *
906
FACT : Within a million years, the star Eta Carinae could go supernova. Though it is 7,000 light years away from Earth, Eta Carinae’s gamma ray burst could be powerful enough to destroy the Earth’s protective ozone layer and kill all humans with radiation. And then, finally, Abe Vigoda will die.
Peter Douglas Ward and Donald Brownlee, The Life and Death of Planet Earth: How the New Science of Astrobiology Charts the Ultimate Fate of Our World (Macmillan, 2003).
* * *
907
FACT : The Andromeda galaxy is on a collision course with our galaxy, speeding at 720,000 miles per hour. When the two likely collide in 3 billion years, the results will be catastrophic. That gives you just enough time to get your driver’s license renewed, so go ahead to the DMV now.
Peter Douglas Ward and Donald Brownlee, The Life and Death of Planet Earth: How the New Science of Astrobiology Charts the Ultimate Fate of Our World (Macmillan, 2003).
* * *
908
FACT : About 7.6 billion years from now, the sun will reach its maximum size, extending 20 percent beyond Earth’s orbit and shining 3,000 times brighter than it does today. In its final stage, the sun will collapse into a white dwarf and engulf the Earth. Mark your calendars!
Peter Douglas Ward and Donald Brownlee, The Life and Death of Planet Earth: How the New Science of Astrobiology Charts the Ultimate Fate of Our World (Macmillan, 2003).
David Appell, “The Sun Will Eventually Engulf Earth— Maybe,” Scientific American, September 2008, www.scientificamerican.com.
* * *
909
FACT : Every year, more than 28 million gallons of oil from human activities pour into our rivers, lakes, and streams, an amount more than twice the size of the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Human activities = oil changes and frying chicken.
“Why Are Our Oceans in Trouble?” Environmental Defense Fund, August 19, 2005, www.edf.org.
* * *
910
FACT : 80 percent of the waste that humans produce ends up in our oceans, including everything from solid garbage and sewage to fertilizers, oil, and toxic chemicals. This is why I never feel guilty about pissing in the ocean. Like it’s going to hurt anything.
“Problems: Ocean pollution,” World Wildlife Federation, February 29, 2008, www.panda.org.
* * *
911
FACT : Raw, untreated sewage flows into the ocean in many areas of the world, including 80 percent of urban sewage that ends up in the Mediterranean. If you’re reading this on the toilet, congrats, you just made a nice float for some kid in Crete.
“Problems: Ocean pollution,” World Wildlife Federation, February 29, 2008, www.panda.org.
* * *
912
FACT : For decades, circulating ocean currents have picked up trash from shorelines and boats and corralled it into two vast masses of decaying, soupy waste, which have been dubbed the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. This spawned the late '80s toy craze, Great Pacific Garbage Patch Kids, which shot decaying, soupy candy out of their noses and butts when squeezed.
“View: The Truth about Trash,” Scientific American, January 9, 2009, www.sciam.com.
* * *
913
FACT : About half of the carbon dioxide emitted by humans in the last 200 years has been absorbed by the Earth’s oceans, causing fish migration routes to alter, sea levels to rise, coastal erosion to intensify, and currents that move nutrients upward from the deep sea to become disturbed. If there were oceans on other planets, we could send it there, but we haven’t found any yet.
Dan Shapley, “Natural Resources Being Depleted at Record Rates,” The Daily Green, September 13, 2007, www.thedailygreen.com.
* * *
914
FACT : If emission rates continue as projected, the level of mercury in the Pacific Ocean will increase 50 percent by the year 2050. The level of Mercury cars in the ocean is increasing, too, as about thirty-eight people a day drive them off a pier because they’re sick of having to fix that shit. Most collect the insurance money and buy a Toyota.
Dan Shapley, “Natural Resources Being Depleted at Record Rates,” The Daily Green, September 13, 2007, www.thedailygreen.com.
“How Mercury Emissions Reach Tuna And Other Seafood, And Why Mercury Contamination Is Likely To Worsen,” Science Daily, May 3, 2009, www.sciencedaily.com.
* * *
915
FACT : Acid rain is caused by both natural sources like volcanoes and decaying vegetation, and artificial sources like emissions from fossil fuel combustion. It threatens both animal and plant life through acidification of lakes and streams and damage to forests and forest soils. The brown acid rain is particularly bad, so avoid it. It’s giving a lot of people bad trips.
“Effects of Acid Rain,” U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, www.epa.gov.
* * *
916
FACT : China’s Gobi desert is expanding at the rate of over 10,000 square kilometers per year, overtaking productive soil and threatening the livelihood of many villages. The ants are loving it, though.
Larry West, “Scholars Predict 50 Million Environmental Refugees by 2010,” About.com, www.environment.about.com.
* * *
917
FACT : Experts say more than 1,000 square kilometers of productive land is lost annually in Morocco, Tunisia, and Libya to desertification. Morocco, Tunisia, and Libya have productive land?
Larry West, “Scholars Predict 50 Million Environmental Refugees by 2010,” About.com, www.environment.about.com.
* * *
918
FACT : The state of Louisiana loses about sixty-five square kilometers of productive land every year to erosion by the sea. Louisiana has productive land?
Larry West, “Scholars Predict 50 Million Environmental Refugees by 2010,” About.com, www.environment.about.com.
* * *
919
FACT : In Alaska, more than 200 communities are threatened by rising sea levels that cause tides to extend about three meters further inland each year. Alaska has 200 communities?
Larry West, “Scholars Predict 50 Million Environmental Refugees by 2010,” About.com, www.environment.about.com.
* * *
920
FACT : New Zealand has agreed to accept the almost 12,000 citizens of the Pacific island state of Tuvalu if rising sea levels make the island uninhabitable. New Zealanders don’t want to die alone when rising sea levels make their islands uninhabitable, too.