Jace stared at his mother, as if seeing her again for the first time. It took his breath away. She had chosen to keep him. Despite his race and the circumstances, she had chosen to go through with it.
She looked at him, moisture pooling in her eyes. Her voice wobbled as she said through a full smile, “Oh, Jace, you were such a beautiful baby with your black hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. That’s how I recognized you. The moment I saw your eyes, I knew.” She shook her head, her lips trembling. “And you were such a good baby, always so happy. How I loved you. From the first moment I held you in my arms, I knew you’d have my heart forever.”
Overcome, Jace bowed his head and pressed his fingers against his eyelids. His breath hitched as he drew it in. His mother loved him. What a profound, unimaginable thing.
At last he looked up again, blinking her into focus. What had gone so wrong? After all she had told him, he should have grown up here with her—nurtured, loved. But that was not his past. The only memories he carried of his childhood and young adult years were those of slave yards, grueling days, cruel masters, and the never-ending hatred he’d endured for his mixed blood.
His voice cracked with the pain of those times. “What happened?”
Her expression changed with this question. She had spoken of the past with a surprising amount of peace, despite its darkness, but the peace disappeared. Her lips pinched, and now her eyes revealed a deep hurt and anger. She looked away, smoothing her hands against her skirt as if trying to gain better control over her emotions. When she spoke, her tone was low and taut.
“I had you for three months… three wonderful months.” She took a deep breath. “My father still tried to get me to give you up, but I refused. Then, one day… I woke up and you were gone.”
An invisible hand clamped around Jace’s throat, digging in and cutting off his air. He had been taken from her?
“I don’t know where my father had you taken; I only know he did.” A choked sob slipped out, and she couldn’t hold back any longer. Drooping forward, she put her face in her hands and cried.
Propelled by his growing love for her, Jace stood, drawing her up with him, and held her tightly. But he shook inside with his raging feelings. That familiar hot burn of anger battled to take hold. How could his own grandfather have separated mother and son so cruelly, dooming both of them to such pain? It willed him to lash out in some way, but the quieter, yet persistent voice of reason reminded him it was not the way. It took several minutes, but he finally tamped down the anger enough to think calmly again. By this time, his mother had worked her tears under control.
She looked up at him. “The last time we were together I could hold you, and now you’re holding me.”
She wiped her eyes, and they returned to their seats.
“I tried to find you,” Rachel said, her voice now tired. “My brother, Charles, he looked, but my father hid you too well. At the time, my father was trying to get me to marry Rothas. I was so desperate to find you that I agreed to the wedding if he brought you back. That’s when they told me you had died of fever.”
Bitterness crept into her tone, but, like Jace, she looked to be trying hard to fight it. “I grieved over you for so long. By that time, I was too worn out to resist my father’s plans and married Rothas. The rest of the story is right here in this house. Until I saw you last night, I truly believed you were dead.”
Sagging against the back of his chair, Jace let the whole thing process. It was almost too much to take in at one time, and it mentally exhausted him. After a few moments, he noticed how intently Rachel watched him and met her gaze.
“I can tell you this, Jace,” she said. “Now that I’ve found you, I’m not going to lose you again.”
Once Jace had shared the details of his life, he wasn’t sure his mother had any tears left to shed. It was significantly painful for both of them—for him to tell it and her to hear it. Yet some things he couldn’t share. He had left vague his recent history and the events that had brought him to Landale. He hadn’t even told her about Kyrin—something he deeply wanted—but he first must discuss the wisdom of it with the others. So much danger and risk surrounded them already.
Wiping her face with her already-soaked handkerchief, Rachel said, “I must meet Rayad, properly, so I can thank him for what he’s done.”
Jace nodded, eager for them to meet. “If he had not found me, I wouldn’t be alive right now.” He paused and drew a long breath. He had never told anyone this before, not even Rayad. “Right before he showed up and paid for my freedom, I had decided to lose my next fight. I didn’t intend to ever walk out of the arena again. Even after he freed me, I snuck away that night while he was asleep and almost ended it. I just didn’t want to face the world anymore.”
“Oh, Jace.” Rachel touched her chest as if her heart were in great pain. “Thank Elôm for leading him there when He did and for stopping you.”
Jace didn’t respond. He still struggled, wondering if Elôm had truly led Rayad there for him, but he couldn’t tell his mother this. It would only hurt her more.
“You know, Jace,” she said gently, “if I could go back and change everything, I would do it in a heartbeat to prevent the things that you have endured, but I find comfort in the way Elôm has clearly worked in this. I could never choose for it to be this way, but it is what He used to guide me to Him. After I lost you and made it through the wedding, we moved here and I was so lonely and broken, struggling with learning to be a wife and still desperately missing you. My maid—dear girl—saw how I was suffering, and found the courage to tell me about Elôm. I was so desperate for hope that I devoured everything she told me. It’s the only thing that has kept me going all these years.”
She gave a weary smile. “In turn, I’ve shared with my mother, Charles, and Elian. I tried to raise James to believe, but he follows too closely after his father. Elanor, however, does believe.”
“James?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. James and Elanor are my children… your half brother and sister.”
Of course, Jace knew this, yet it was hard to believe he had siblings now. He had always wondered, watching Kyrin interact with her brothers, what that would be like.
“So does Rothas know you believe?”
“He did. He was furious when he found that I was teaching James, and promptly went to work reversing it. Now he thinks I let the whole thing go a long time ago, and I work to keep it that way, especially now. He has no idea about Elanor, thank Elôm.”
A light knock at the door interrupted them. Jace tensed as it opened, but relaxed when Elian let Rachel’s mother inside. She smiled at them, carrying a tray.
“I had tea brought up. I thought you could use it.” She set the tray on a small table near them. Her gaze fell on Jace and lingered as if soaking in the sight of him as she backed away.
“Mother, please stay,” Rachel invited.
The older woman’s eyes lit up and she smiled as she joined them. Again, she just looked at Jace before shaking her head apologetically. “I am sorry. It is still hard to believe what my eyes are seeing.”
Under most circumstances, Jace would have felt uncomfortable, but this was far from a normal situation. “It’s all right.”
“I still remember you as the little baby you were before.” Though refined and rich in dignity and poise befitting a noblewoman, her voice trembled and her eyes glimmered, the rims red from tears she must have shed in private. “I’m sure Rachel has told you what happened, but I do hope you know that I had no part in the plan to get rid of you.”
“Oh, none at all,” Rachel quickly added. “She was one of the only ones who supported me. She, Charles, and Elian.”
At least his mother hadn’t been completely alone at such a hard time.
“Speaking of Charles, will you send for him?” Rachel’s mother asked.
Rachel’s eyes sparkled joyfully. “Yes. He will be so surprised.” Her gaze then shifted to Jace, the sparkle di
mming to a question. “That is, if you would like to meet him.”
Jace’s stomach flipped over at the thought. He had never been good with new people, yet he had a growing desire to know his family.
“I would, yes.”
Rachel smiled. “Good.” She looked back to her mother. “I’ll tell Elanor as well. She would want to know. But Father and Rothas must not find out. I can’t trust what they will do after they took Jace from me once. Unfortunately, we can’t trust James either. He’s too close to his father, and I don’t think he would respond well.”
“It’s quite magnificent.” Anne truly admired the loveliness of Ashwood as she walked side by side with seventeen-year-old Elanor through the second floor. Her uncle, the Earl of Belford, had a large estate as well, but Anne found Ashwood more to her liking.
Elanor nodded. “Yes, though I must confess, having lived here all my life, I take it shamefully for granted most of the time.”
Anne gave her a smile. She quite liked the girl. Taking after her mother in both appearance and manner, she was mature for her age and well-spoken. Anne particularly liked her kind and bubbly personality. Had they lived closer together and had the opportunity to visit, she could see the two of them becoming good friends. It was difficult to keep up an act with her, and Anne often found herself slipping into enjoying the moment.
As they passed by a closed door with particularly impressive moldings, Anne asked, “What is this room?”
“Oh, that’s Father’s private office.”
Anne’s heart gave a thump, and at once her mind focused on the mission.
“Best not to disturb it,” Elanor warned. “He’s very particular about that. Not even Mother goes inside.”
Careful to maintain her act, Anne chuckled. “Men and their offices.”
Elanor just smiled, and they continued their tour. Anne, however, gave the door one final glance, making mental notes on its location to give to Kyrin later.
Come lunchtime, Anne followed Elanor into the dining room where the rest of the family gathered. She pointedly ignored the flirtatious smile James sent her way, and focused on Elanor, who introduced her grandmother, the Countess of Dunrick.
As they took seats at the table, Anne noticed that Rachel didn’t look well. Her eyes were noticeably red-rimmed. Even Lady Dunrick appeared pale. Elanor noticed too. Anne caught the concerned glances the girl sent her mother’s way, but Rachel answered with a reassuring smile.
Rothas, however, did not seem to notice at all, and if he did, he wasn’t the least bit concerned. How many other times had Rachel come to the table with signs of tears? Anne’s stomach burned with indignation and stole her appetite. The man was a louse and entirely unashamed of it. Lady Rachel deserved better. Thank Elôm that Anne’s father did not intend to arrange her marriage, though she was well past the age that most girls married. She would rather die than be married to a man like Rothas.
Having Lady Dunrick at the table was a breath of fresh air. Sir Rothas was a dominant conversationalist, and Anne had grown quite weary of him. However, the countess had preeminence, and kept Rothas’s contributions to a minimum. Anne couldn’t help but feel a great deal of satisfaction at seeing the man put in his place. If only Lady Rachel had her mother around all the time to keep the loathsome man in line.
Once the meal concluded, Anne excused herself under the pretense of wanting to rest for a bit. The sooner she made plans with Kyrin about getting into the office, the sooner their mission would be complete and this charade could end. She hurried upstairs. When she entered the bedroom, she found Kyrin waiting.
“Good, you’re here. I . . .” She stopped. Tear smudges glinted on Kyrin’s cheeks. A gnawing ache mangled Anne’s stomach. “What happened?”
A smile blossomed on Kyrin’s face, sending a wash of surprised relief through her. Surely she wouldn’t smile over anything terrible.
“You’ll never believe what Jace discovered this morning.”
Anne waited. She couldn’t even begin to guess. For all she’d known, the men had just been sitting around waiting for this to be over.
Kyrin stepped closer, her voice low and breathless. “Lady Rachel is his mother.”
Anne’s mouth fell open. “What?” She sank down in a nearby chair, her head spinning. “She is?”
Kyrin nodded. “She recognized him when she saw him last night, and then she asked to speak with him this morning. They talked for hours.”
Anne breathed out a long breath. It would take some time for this to sink in. “How is he taking it?”
“He’s still in shock, as you can imagine, but… I think he’s very happy. I’ve never seen him quite like this.” Kyrin shook her head. “When Rayad questioned him about her truly being his mother, he was very sure. That’s unusual for Jace.”
Anne sat, her mouth still open for a moment. “Out of all the people in Ilyon, Lady Rachel is his mother?”
Kyrin gave a small laugh. “I know, it’s incredible. Oh, if you could have seen his face. He’s struggled so much with his identity. How I pray this will help him. And not only is she his mother, but he also found out she’s a believer in Elôm. Lady Elanor too.”
“Well, that’s the one part in all this that doesn’t surprise me. She has to be getting her strength from somewhere to endure a husband like Rothas.”
“Jace would like to talk to us about what he can tell her. Rayad thought we could meet outside.”
Anne nodded. “That’s a good idea. We need to discuss things anyway. I found the office.”
“I trust her. She won’t give us away.” Jace had never trusted people easily, but he’d experienced enough cruelty to spot true goodness when it was there, and his mother had it in abundance. Even after just a couple of hours, he trusted her with their secrets.
Rayad nodded. “I’m willing to trust her too, but we’ll see what Anne and Kyrin have to say first.”
Jace agreed. He wouldn’t proceed to share more information without their consent. Safety had to be the priority.
Reclining on one of the beds, Holden gave Jace a thoughtful look. “You do realize now that you’re of noble blood? You outrank all of us here, except Anne.”
Jace hadn’t considered this. All his life, the focus had been on his ryrik blood. It was strange to think the other half was that of nobility. Even so, his illegitimate birth would have annulled any privileges and status that would have afforded him.
“It doesn’t matter.” He could never see himself above the others, and didn’t want them to either. “I’m just the same as I always was.”
To be treated any differently would be uncomfortable.
A moment later, Aaron stepped into the room. “Kyrin and Anne are waiting outside.”
Rayad thanked him, and he, Jace, and Kaden left the servants’ quarters and walked outside. Across the courtyard, near Sir Rothas’s grand stable, the women waited. When they reached them, Anne gave Jace a wide smile.
“I want to say how happy I am for you.”
“Thank you,” Jace replied. “I’m still trying to take it all in.”
“Kyrin said you wished to talk.”
He nodded. “I want to know how much I can tell my mother about us. She doesn’t know yet that I have anything to do with the resistance in Landale. I can keep most of it to myself, but I would at least like to tell her about Kyrin.” He paused and cleared his throat. Was that making his hidden feelings too clear? Glancing at Kyrin, he found a sweet smile on her face. He continued, “I trust her. She won’t tell Rothas.”
Anne considered a moment. “If she knows the truth about you and Kyrin, she may suspect our motives for being here.”
“If it’s too great a risk, I’ll just leave it at what I’ve already told her.” It was a disappointment, but somehow he would have to find another way to tell her about Kyrin. After all, Kyrin had done as much for him as Rayad had. He might not have lived without her either.
“I don’t want you to have to keep things from her,” Ann
e said, surprising him. “If you’re sure about her, and everyone is in agreement, then you can tell her what you wish… at least about Kyrin.”
Jace looked at Kyrin and her brother, and then at Rayad. None of them spoke against it.
“Now, that brings me to the reason I wanted to speak with you.” Anne turned to Rayad. “I found Rothas’s private office, which means we can proceed. We just have to determine when to act.”
“What about tonight while everyone is asleep?” Rayad suggested.
“That was my thought, but Kyrin pointed out how suspicious it would be if she were caught wandering around so late. Much more so than earlier in the evening. There’s no telling what habits the staff have at night.”
Rayad’s brow furrowed. “True, but to try earlier would run the risk of Rothas showing up while Kyrin is in there.”
Jace’s stomach twisted into a knot. If it were up to him, Kyrin wouldn’t go at all. However, her face was calm and resolute. If she was afraid, she didn’t show it. Please, Elôm, protect her.
His gaze shifted to Kaden. He didn’t look particularly at ease with this either, but he hadn’t spoken against it. Jace didn’t doubt that Kaden’s concern was any less strong than his own, but, like the rest of the group, Kaden was thinking of Samara and the importance of the information Kyrin could gather. Jace could only think of Kyrin. She was what mattered most to him.
“That is why we’re thinking late evening around suppertime,” Anne drew Jace’s attention again. “Then Rothas will be occupied.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Rayad replied.
Anne turned to Kyrin. “What do you think? Are you up to it this evening?”
Kyrin pulled in a slow, deep breath, and now Jace did catch the briefest flicker of nerves in her eyes. Even so, she spoke steadily. “Yes, I’ll do it. I’d like to get it over with.”
“All right, then.” Anne looked at Rayad again. “Perhaps you can come up to my room shortly after supper has begun so you can be there when Kyrin heads out and returns.”
Samara's Peril (Ilyon Chronicles Book 3) Page 9