by Clancy Nacht
He looked Susie in the eye. “Francesca’s my family. She’s all I have. Forrest rescued her when she was lost this weekend, and if he hadn’t, I don’t know what I’d have done. I can’t begin to thank him enough, but all he asked for was this.”
Edwin held up the business card, then shrugged and placed it on the counter as the cats nuzzled one another at his feet. “I won’t keep you, Susie. I’m going to be late, and if my students are left alone, they get more than a little rowdy. You’d never believe they were adults. Please, give Forrest my thanks. Let him know that…”
Hesitating, Edwin took off his hat and held it over his heart. “I owe him more than I can ever repay.”
“Hey! You don’t owe me nothing, man. Good to see you!” Forrest’s voice startled Edwin. He turned to see the mechanic striding toward him wearing a blue, grease-smudged coverall that he somehow managed to make sexy. Within two paces, he invaded Edwin’s personal space.
Forrest gave him a sideways hug and then a rough slap on the back. “I hope Susie hasn’t given you too hard a time. She’s kind of a flirt.”
She raised a brow at Forrest and rolled her eyes. “I don’t think he’s my type.”
“Yeah, he’s got a job.” Forrest snickered and bumped shoulders with Edwin.
Edwin couldn’t help laughing, beaming his pleased embarrassment at Susie before glancing sidelong at Forrest. The sudden urge to slide his arm around Forrest’s waist and lean his cheek against that strong shoulder made Edwin draw a sharp breath. It had been so long since he’d felt such a pull toward someone that it made it hard to get enough oxygen.
To offset the unwelcome desire for a cuddle, Edwin took a step forward, retrieved the card from the counter, and offered it to Forrest. “You should give them a call. The owner’s a friend; his daughter was in my class many years ago. Please feel free to drop my name when it comes time to haggle.”
“That’s great, man. Thanks.” Forrest took the card and mouthed the name as he read it. “I’ll drop your name, definitely. Need all the haggling help I can get.”
“It’s true.” Susie leaned in and looked between the two of them. Her eyes glittered. Edwin had the sneaking suspicion she knew about his crush and was enjoying it. “He needs a lot of help.”
Forrest snorted, seeming oblivious to the tension, and pocketed the card.
“Oh, there’s my girl. Hey, Francesca, do me a favor and leave Susie a present in her chair.” He held out his hand, and Francesca nuzzled under his fingers, stretching into the stroking. Nasty followed, and Forrest petted him with his other hand. “Aww, Nasty, you glad to see your girlfriend?”
Edwin stared as Francesca prostrated herself, urging Forrest to touch her with a shamelessness that Edwin envied. Clearing his throat, he tried to pack those disorderly feelings into a ball and shove it down deep to lock away. “You have a way with her. You wouldn’t believe how many sitters have been caterwauled into temporary hearing loss or scratched into blood-transfusion territory.”
Susie reached for Francesca but received a swat for her trouble. “Ow, damn. I don’t know what it is with Forrest; he’s the cat whisperer or something. Like Nasty, here. This old tom got chased into the garage a long time ago. When Forrest found him, that cat was not a happy camper.”
Forrest stroked the underside of Francesca’s chin until Nasty nudged his hand away. The black cat started licking the top of Francesca’s head. “Took me a few days to coax him out of the Acura. Kept telling the owner I was waiting on a part.”
Susie shook her head. “I was the one telling the owner that, and the guy was pissed. He could’ve given old Nasty a run for his money.”
“Yeah, well, Nasty is happier now. Ain’t you, buddy?” Forrest grabbed Nasty’s head and gave it a playful shake. Nasty’s fuzzy arms wrapped around Forrest’s wrist as he mouthed the scarred thumb.
In retaliation, Forrest rolled Nasty onto his back and lifted his hand, wriggling his fingers. Nasty purred and swatted at them.
“He loves playing rough with me, but he’s a real gentleman with your Francesca. I don’t think he had a lot of luck with those alley cats. Now he’s got a real lady, and he treats her right. Or else, right, Nasty? Huh? Or else?”
Nasty caught Forrest’s arm and nipped him, then started licking that spot as if in apology.
Forrest’s big, dirty hand looked so strong, but held in Nasty’s paws, it seemed gentle and sweet. It reminded Edwin of how Howard played those same games with a much younger Francesca, though Forrest’s hands had probably never seen lotion or cuticle cream. Despite the differences, it brought painful images to the surface.
Edwin took a few careful steps away.
“Do you…?” Edwin halted, studying Forrest before looking around at the garage. “Is there any way you might consider watching Francesca for me? I’ll find someone else as soon as I can, but she…”
Forrest stood and looked at Edwin, brows furrowed. “Oh, I dunno. She’ll get awful dirty again.”
Behind him, Susie exclaimed, “Oh yes! I’ll watch her! She can help me with the customers!”
Seeming to sense the precarious future of time spent at the garage, Francesca fluffed her tail and nuzzled Susie’s face.
“See? She likes me!”
Forrest muttered something about opportunistic cats, but he was smiling. “Weren’t you the one telling me that a cat around was a bad idea? What was it you were asking? What if clients are allergic to cats?”
Susie stroked Francesca’s fur. “They can go to another garage.”
Edwin smiled at Susie with unfeigned gratitude, then turned his gaze on Forrest, nudging crooked spectacles up to see him better. “Please, Forrest? I haven’t any right to ask favors, but she’ll be good. I know she will.”
Forrest’s expression softened. Maybe he was just a pushover—his weakness for strays seemed to point to that—but Edwin got the feeling Forrest had a weakness for pitiful history professors too.
Sensing that he was winning, Edwin gestured to the raggedy black tom that seemed to own Forrest’s heart. “She makes your Nasty an excellent companion.”
Forrest cracked his neck as he considered, then shrugged. “Guess I’m outnumbered. Looks like you’re stayin’, chickadee.”
Francesca turned from Susie to rub her head against Forrest’s arm.
“Yeah, yeah, you win. You knew you would, didn’t you?”
She looked up at him and purred.
Forrest stroked her chin, then playfully ruffled her fur the wrong way. Huffing, she twisted and began grooming.
“Can’t guarantee she’s gonna remain this clean, but she can stay if you’re square with that.”
Edwin gathered Francesca in his arms, kissed her forehead, and smoothed her fur with expert hands to save her the trouble. Then he placed her back on the counter in front of Susie and smiled at the young woman. “I will, of course, offer you the same payment I was providing her previous sitter, and if she’s a bit messy, well, it’s all to the good. We both likely need to loosen up a bit. We’ve gotten terribly prim in our dotages.”
Edwin avoided the impulse to shake Forrest’s hand and instead gave an awkward wave before opening the door to linger on the threshold. “I’ll be finished with classes around four, but I’ll need to stay after a bit. I should be here by six, and you have my numbers.”
“Yeah, she’ll be all right. Nasty will keep her out of trouble. You hear that, Nasty? You’re in charge. Better not fuck it up, hmm?”
If Nasty understood what Forrest said, he gave no indication. Instead, he ran toward the back lot, leading Frannie away.
Susie looked between the men uncertainly. “We close at five.”
Forrest shrugged and gave Edwin a faint smile so sweet he had to look away. “I’ll stay and wait. Not a big deal. Got beer here; didn’t have plans other than that.”
“Thank you.” Edwin spoke to Susie, though it was Forrest he should be thanking. He couldn’t bring himself to meet the mechanic's gaze. “I’ll s
ee you tonight.”
Edwin slipped out the door and headed for the car, posture straight and one hand pinning the hat to his head as wind swept litter along the roadside. He permitted one glance back before climbing into the Hawk.
Drawing a deep breath, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against the sun-warmed wheel. “This cannot happen. Just remember that it can’t, and that you don’t want it to. You owe this to Howard.”
Edwin banged his head against the wheel and accidentally honked. He sat and rubbed his face with both hands, then looked around to see if he’d drawn attention. When no further humiliations were forthcoming, he started the engine, threw the car into reverse, and made his escape while he still could.
Chapter Four
“So you all know by now that Alexander was educated by Aristotle. The Aristotle. If you haven’t yet studied at least the Nicomachean Ethics, you’ll want to do so before the test. You can’t pretend to understand Alexander until you know what he was taught. Those principles informed his reasoned approach to—”
A hand went up in the front row. Edwin scowled. “Yes, Ms. Rey?”
“Is that required reading? I thought that was a philosophy text.”
Edwin narrowed his eyes and let out a slow breath. “Those who believe themselves to have adequate context for understanding the motivations of Alexander the Great without having expanded their knowledge of his early life are exempt. If those students are wrong, I will glory in their failure. I don’t teach 101, and I don’t grade on a curve.”
The sight of Ms. Rey’s dark curls bobbing above a reddened face as she sank lower in her chair made Edwin smile. He brandished his chalk and spoke with his hands as he returned to his favorite subject.
“Alexander pursued conquest above all else, but it was not subjugation of enemies he seemed to desire. There was—say it with me—a philosophy to his approach. He may have looked like a golden-haired god and been rumored the son of Zeus, but he was mortal and young and…” Edwin lost his train of thought as a very different godlike, young blond filled his head. The image of Forrest’s shirt stretched taut between muscular shoulders as he leaned over the Golden Hawk flitted through Edwin's mind.
He bit his lip and excised that memory. It had no place in his life. That body, that smile, those eyes, and those hands were meant for someone else. Forrest might be only a few miles away, but he was as out of reach as Alexander himself.
Returning his gaze to the board, Edwin asked, “Who can tell me how old Alexander was at the time of his first conquest?”
✽ ✽ ✽
After his last class, Edwin shut himself in his office and graded papers. His pen took no prisoners, obliterating arguments by carving a red line through their hearts and scribbling in the margins.
Students rarely attended his office hours, but as he packed the remaining papers into his briefcase, a knock at his door froze him in place. “Office hours are over for today. Please see me tomorrow between noon and one.”
“Professor Blais?”
Edwin sighed and set aside his briefcase as he recognized the thick Welsh accent. “Yes, Professor Conrad?”
The office door opened. A pleasant-faced older gentleman poked his head around it. Conrad was too new to know that interrupting Edwin at the end of a day was a good way to get one’s head snapped off.
“You’re leaving? Perhaps you’d join us for coffee. We’re attending an open-mic night at the—”
“My apologies. I’m expected elsewhere before six.”
“Oh. I see.” Professor Conrad’s sharp green gaze moved over Edwin with too much interest. “Well, perhaps another time?”
“I really don’t go out.” Edwin’s frosty tone aimed to convey how futile it was to pursue his companionship.
Instead, Conrad rallied. “We should get to know one another. The department head said you and I have ‘a lot in common.’”
Of course. The two old, gay profs should pair off. How tiresome.
Edwin scrubbed at his scruffy chin and snatched the briefcase to make a break for it. “Listen…”
“Paul,” Conrad supplied, eyes alight at the opportunity to become more personal.
“Listen, Paul, I lost my partner years ago. I’m not moving on. I’m not even looking. I don’t want to get to know my colleagues or catch up outside of work. I’m sure you’re a magnificent human being, that your views are intriguing, and that you make wonderful conversation. I’m just not interested in experiencing it for myself.”
Paul’s mouth hung open before he nodded once and disappeared from the doorway.
Edwin frowned. “Well. That wasn’t painful at all.”
Fair or not, it peeved him that their coworkers hadn’t warned the man about Edwin’s limitations. Then again, he supposed most of them were concerned. After A Single Man came out, they had all been convinced he’d off himself.
If Edwin hadn’t had Francesca, they’d have been right to worry.
That thought plagued him as he walked to the car. What would he have done if he’d lost her? That Forrest found her was a stroke of luck. A lesser person might’ve frightened her away, and Edwin never would’ve seen her again.
Goose bumps pricked his skin. While it was physically impossible for his blood to run cold, it certainly felt like it did.
Edwin sought more pleasant thoughts as he pulled into traffic, wishing he could bring himself to turn on the radio. His fingers strayed to the dial for a moment, but he returned them to the wheel with a pang of longing. By the time he arrived at the garage, all he wanted was to wrap Francesca in his arms and hold her until he fell asleep.
Chapter Five
The parking lot was empty when Edwin pulled in. He claimed a spot in front, killed the engine, and composed himself before heading to the door. He cupped his hands to the glass and peered between them, trying to see inside in the dimming light. “Hello? Forrest?”
A large shadow filled the hall, followed by Forrest himself. The keys jingled as he unlocked the door. “Hey. Got Francesca in the back. She and Nasty are sharing some steak.”
Edwin couldn’t help but smile. “Good man. I cook for Francesca every night. She never eats store-bought cat food. After—”
Edwin cut himself off with an awkward laugh and slipped past Forrest into the building. On his way to the back door he’d glimpsed that morning, he tried to shake off the full-body tingle from the brief brush of his body against Forrest’s.
“Francesca?”
A soft meow answered, and after another moment, Francesca appeared and deigned to wind around his ankles. With a sigh of relief, he stooped to lift her into his arms. He managed to kiss her forehead before she twisted away and dashed into what appeared to be a break room.
Nasty and a hunk of steak awaited her.
“It figures.” Edwin turned toward Forrest and gestured at the pair. “One magical day with a new fella and I’ve been replaced.”
The cats tugged at a piece of fat. “Well, it’s not steak here every night. She lucked out that Amber brought us dinner.”
Forrest sat in a rickety chair, the movement holding Edwin’s gaze. The mechanic was the cleanest Edwin had seen him, wearing a T-shirt and jeans unmarred by grease. He’d probably worn them all day under the coverall, but Edwin thrilled at the thought of Forrest cleaning up for him.
Or Amber. Probably this Amber person.
Don’t lose your head.
Edwin resisted the urge to ask about her for all of thirty seconds, most of which he spent nodding sagely and pursing his lips to avoid nervous laughter. He made an aimless motion with his right hand that encompassed the cats and their dinner.
“I wish I had an Amber to bring Francesca steak. Where does one acquire such a wonder?”
He was proud his tone carried a note of teasing and sophistication rather than the jealousy to which he had no right. He’d just met Forrest. What could he be thinking?
“Oh, she works across the street.” Forrest gestured toward the strip club.
While the students talked about how great the food was at such an establishment, Edwin always thought it was a flimsy excuse to see naked women.
Forrest continued unperturbed. “I gave her a jump once. She brings me leftovers from the lunch shift sometimes.”
Edwin felt the blood drain out of his face. He fought down panic that something might be wrong with Frannie’s dinner. With an effort, he laughed and masked his disappointment with a knowing, crinkle-eyed grin. “It’s too bad you never jumped anyone from Uchiko. Francesca’s fond of sushi.”
Forrest’s broad shoulders seemed too close to where Edwin stood in the doorway, that mouth too red, and his languid ease too touchable. Edwin moved to Francesca’s side as if she could protect him. As he stared at her, he forced himself to remember the long-gone man who was supposed to share their dinners with them for the rest of their lives, the one Edwin hadn’t appreciated as he should’ve.
A chill went through Edwin, and he settled into the chair nearest Frannie before his legs turned to jelly. Grief and guilt rushed to the surface. Francesca abandoned Nasty in favor of rubbing against Edwin until he picked her up and hid his face in her fur.
Drawing strength from Francesca’s warmth and affection, Edwin managed to smooth his expression again and settle his nerves enough to lift his head and gaze at Forrest. “Long day.”
Forrest stared at him with concern, seeming at a loss for words. He looked at his steak and then at Edwin. “I’m sorry. Would you like some steak? I can’t really eat all of this anyway. I’m not a big red-meat eater. Dad died of a heart attack, so Susie’s been after me ever since.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your father.” Edwin fixed his gaze on the steak, addressing his comments to the piece of meat to avoid looking at Forrest like one. The man was surrounded by women; he didn’t need an old professor’s attention. “Susie’s your…”
He trailed off, uncertain if there were some underlying message in his repudiation of meat eating and immediate invocation of the young woman from that morning.