by Clancy Nacht
Edwin’s heart was in the grave, and it was supposed to stay there.
Strangely enough, seeing Jenna watching him during classes unnerved him more than anything else did. It made Edwin grateful he’d taken to bringing Frannie with him. Holding his cat and stroking her fur during lectures made it easier to play off his discomfiture.
When Jenna asked him Wednesday morning if he’d be at his office hours, his heart sank. All he could do was hope she wasn’t going to confront him about Forrest. If she asked direct questions, he couldn’t lie, but the last thing he needed was drama at work.
Conference time was almost over for the day, and she still hadn’t shown up. The sushi he’d shared with Francesca was long gone, the essays were graded, and he had nothing to do but catch up on academic journals while he waited out the hour. Frannie lay on the corner of his desk, grooming her long, silky hair as he pretended to read.
Suddenly, Francesca stood. Her ears swiveled forward, and she stared intently at the door. Before Edwin could react, she jumped from the desk and dashed to the front of the room. There she began to meow and paw at the threshold.
There was a soft knock. Edwin took a deep breath. Had Jenna spent more time at the garage than he knew? Was Francesca attached to her?
Edwin swallowed hard, bracing himself. “Come in.”
To his surprise, it was Susie’s face, not Jenna’s, that peeked around the door. She smiled and waved before kneeling to scoop up Francesca. “There’s the pretty lady. I’ve missed you, little girl!”
Francesca nudged her face against Susie’s. Apparently, the feeling was mutual.
Edwin felt a twinge of guilt for letting Francesca get so attached and then pulling away, but it didn’t compare with his guilt at betraying Howard’s memory. He stood and nodded at Susie, then gestured to the empty chair across from his desk.
Susie took a seat and let Francesca settle in her lap. “So, howdy, stranger. Long time, no see.”
“Hello, Susie. What brings you here?” Edwin wondered if Forrest had said something. It seemed unlikely he’d tell his sister what they’d done together, but with the way he adored Susie, it was possible. “How are you? Frannie’s clearly missed you. I apologize that we haven’t been around.”
Edwin reached for the mug of oolong he’d made to accompany his sushi. It was chilled now, but he drank it for something to do while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Well, two things, really.” Susie smiled sweetly. Edwin was wary of young women smiling sweetly. “One, I wanted to check on you. Forrest said something about you having an injury from stretching that kept you laid up.”
It could’ve been an innocent statement, but there was some mischief in Susie’s grin that made Edwin think twice. A hot flush stole over his cheeks and ears. He deserved the humiliation.
“Yes, one should be more careful when warming up, I suppose, after leading so sedentary a lifestyle.” He neatened his pens and then picked up a soft cloth from his desk, removed his glasses, and began to clean them so he didn’t have to look at Susie. “Did Jenna send you here? She was asking about my schedule today.”
“No. Why would Jenna send me?” Susie didn’t give him time to answer. “She asked on my behalf, which brings me to my second reason for being here. I need a favor.”
Edwin replaced his glasses so he could see Susie’s expression clearly. He rubbed the back of his neck and then took another sip of his tea, trying to keep his hands occupied so he didn’t fidget. His face froze in what he hoped was an expression of calm politeness. “What can I do for you, my dear? It must be quite a favor if you’ve come down here in person.”
“I admit, it wasn’t all the favor. I also wanted to see Francesca.” Susie kissed the top of Frannie’s head. The cat looked a little grumpy, but she allowed the affection. “The thing is, I promised Forrest I’d go to the classic car show with him this weekend, but something came up. I’d hate for the ticket to go to waste. I thought maybe you’d consider going with him?”
Edwin’s heart stopped for a moment before resuming its beating at what felt like twice the pace. Blood rushed in his ears until the sound of his own voice cut through the din. “I’m not certain that’s a good idea, Susie.”
At least the words sounded rational, though his tone was wooden. He tried to smile, but his face felt numb; he wasn’t sure if it was working.
Susie frowned as she looked away. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be a good idea. It’s just a car show. You both love cars. What’s a bad idea about that?”
She glanced back, chin up in defiance. “I mean, what? You don’t like cars no more?”
Edwin drew a deep breath to steady his nerves and spread his hands on the desk. He flexed his gangly fingers on the heavy wood as if he could ground himself if he just gripped tight enough. “Does Forrest know you’re here?”
She shook her head. “He thinks it’s him you don’t like, but I don’t see how you’d stop liking him. He’s a nice guy. Doesn’t always think things through, but a nice guy.”
“Hm.” Edwin contemplated the information, studying Susie’s face between questioning glances at Francesca. The cat failed to offer any valuable advice. “Does Jenna know why you’re here?”
“Yeah, she knows.” Susie raised a brow at Edwin. “Why you asking about Jenna so much?”
The question took Edwin aback. Had he been asking that much about Jenna? Faking casualness he didn’t feel, Edwin shrugged and gave Susie a lopsided smile. “I just wondered if you were in cahoots.”
“I guess you could say I’m in cahoots with Jenna. She’s taking me for a makeover, and that’s why I’m not going to be able to go with Forrest to the car show.” Susie tossed her hair back. “Says she can do something with this mop, so I figure, why not?”
Clearing his throat and leaning back in the chair, Edwin mulled over whether to ask what he really wanted to know. He found he couldn’t resist; he could only hope that his voice sounded as playful and casual as he wanted it to. “Forrest really doesn’t have any friends he’d rather go with?”
At this, Susie sighed. “Forrest don’t have lots of friends. Not ones he bothers spending much time with. He was spending time with you, and it was a real good thing, I think. And Nasty misses Francesca something terrible. Comes running into the lobby with a full crowd and just yowls. He and Forrest are in a funk. I think they miss y’all.”
Edwin’s stomach flipped over, and about ten seconds later, he felt the onset of butterflies. He cursed under his breath. Exhaling shakily, he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes as he shifted his weight, making the leather chair creak as he tried to get away from his own feelings.
Putting his glasses back on, he opened the top right desk drawer and pulled out the picture he kept there. It was an old eight by ten of him and Howard from when Francesca was a kitten. It had possessed pride of place on his desk for years, but the sunlight was destroying it and he didn’t have another copy. He laid it in the middle of the desk so Susie could see.
“That was my Howard. He was my best friend, my husband, my everything. I haven’t been close to anyone since he died. I’m not sure I can keep spending time with your brother, Susie. Everything I do ends up complicated, and Forrest seems to like things simple.”
Susie held up her hand to stop him. “Don’t pretend you’re doing this for Forrest’s benefit. You may think he’s simple, but he’s not. He feels a lot more than he lets on.”
Her irritation upset Francesca. She jumped from Susie’s lap onto the desk, knocking Howard’s picture to the ground. The glass broke, and Edwin paled.
He knelt beside it and gathered the pieces carefully, extracting the photograph from the ruined frame. His knees creaked as he stood and slipped the photograph back into the desk drawer. He couldn’t expect someone as young as Susie to understand.
Francesca nuzzled his belly apologetically from her perch on his desk. Her sharp, slit-pupiled stare fixed on his face. He gathered her into his arms, and she allowed
him to rub their cheeks together. It soothed him enough to look at Susie with fresh eyes.
“I didn’t say he was simple, Susie. I admire your brother a great deal. I only mean that I come with a lot of baggage, even just as a friend, and—” Edwin stopped. He looked at Francesca, then back to Susie. “I like cars. I’m going. Give me your ticket, tell me the time, and for the sake of all that’s holy, warn Forrest you did this.”
Susie stood and smiled. She rifled through her purse, finally producing a ticket. “Oh, he’ll be happy about it. I know he will. He misses you.”
As if she worried that he might change his mind, she set down the ticket and backed away. “You won’t regret it! I swear. You’ll have so much fun.”
With that, she left. Edwin went to the door and watched her go, filled with relief and dread in equal measure. He wasn’t sure he was making the right decision, but he hadn’t been sure of much since he’d met Forrest. His neat little life was coming unraveled, and now he was being visited at work by the younger sister of a man he’d screwed, who just happened to be friends with a student of his, who…
Edwin took a deep breath, cuddled Francesca, and headed to his next lecture.
✽ ✽ ✽
That night, Edwin shuffled around the bungalow, not getting much done and not interested in doing more than he was. He’d gone into the home office in an attempt not to lie in bed masturbating over what he’d been doing there exactly one week ago. Instead, he found himself fighting the temptation to stalk—or at least Google—Forrest.
“This is ridiculous,” Edwin grumbled and spent five minutes rearranging his papers and journals. After, he spent another ten thinking about defragmenting his hard drive before actually doing it. Then, on impulse, he opened his cell phone and dialed Forrest’s number.
Forrest answered on the second ring, before Edwin had a chance to hang up.
“Hey, Forrest? It’s Edwin. I’m, ah…” Edwin had a moment of dead air as he tried to condense his reasons for calling into something acceptable. “Calling about Saturday?”
There was a moment’s pause. “Yeah? You’re still coming, ain’t you?”
“Well…” Edwin analyzed Forrest’s tone. Did he want him there? “Susie invited me in her stead, but I wanted to check with you before I finalize my weekend plans.”
That was good. It made Edwin sound like he had any kind of a life. Capitalizing on the confidence that gave him, he added, “If you are, in fact, amenable, then I’ll make arrangements for Francesca that day.”
“I bought the ticket to go with you anyway, so I’m glad Susie got busy.”
Edwin opened his mouth and then closed it with a clack of teeth. He tried to think of something witty to say and failed. It was hardly the romantic kind of date one invited a prospective boyfriend on, nothing to get excited about. But Forrest had bought the ticket for him.
“So…thanks. I’ve never had anyone to go to a car show with before. I’m looking forward to it.”
“I usually go alone.” There was another awkward pause. Forrest cleared his throat. “So how about I pick you up? Unless you wanna take your own car. Think parking is seven bucks or something, but, I mean, I guess that’s okay if you don’t wanna ride together.”
“I want to! I would’ve given my right arm as a teenager to have a handsome boy with a Rangoon Red Mustang taking me out on a Saturday.” Edwin blushed and hid his face in his palm, other hand tightening on the phone as if he could crush it and take back those words. It sounded so pathetic. “Don’t mind my word vomit. You know where I live. Conserve fuel. All that.”
Forrest exhaled into the phone. It sounded like a sigh of relief mixed with a laugh. “Never thought of myself as a teenage dream. Anyway, I like to get an early start. Get in before everyone’s there, while it’s still cool. I’ll try not to make it an all-day thing. I usually wind up hanging out forever, but I know you got other stuff to do.”
“An early start sounds wonderful. I’ll enjoy having the chance to see exhibits before the rabble arrives with their sticky children to make the exhibitors nervous.” Edwin smiled and tried to stay calm despite the fact that his crush on Forrest was getting more out of hand with every word.
He wanted to offer to make breakfast, but the last time he cooked Forrest eggs, things went off track. “I’ll be ready at eight with a thermos of my famous breakfast tea.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you at eight on Saturday.” Forrest sounded upbeat.
Edwin’s smile turned into a full grin. “You’re on, Mr. James. I’ll see you then.”
He ended the call and put his phone on the desk, letting out a long breath.
“Well. Theoretically, it could work out okay.”
Chapter Nine
Saturday morning, Edwin woke at five. He hadn’t slept well; his nerves had kept him tossing and turning, and his attempts to masturbate were less than satisfying. With three hours to get ready, he took an extraordinarily long shower and mulled over what to wear. He didn’t want to look like Dr. Blais, the batty old professor, but rather like someone Forrest would actually want to hang out with.
After some digging, he found a pair of ancient khaki cargo shorts and a soft, worn-thin, forest-green V-neck. It was so juvenile crush, but he couldn’t help smiling at the idea of “wearing Forrest.”
Once he was dressed, he went into the bathroom to battle his hair. Francesca joined him, leaping onto the toilet tank and meowing encouragement as he opened the bathroom cabinet and withdrew a bottle of styling cream. Its expiration date had seemed impossibly far in the future when he bought it, but it was still full with only a month left before it became rubbish. He read the instructions—he didn’t remember what to do with the stuff—and then followed them as best he could. He coaxed the wildly disobedient locks from a lion’s mane into more subdued waves that fell almost to his chin, long enough to remind him he hadn’t had a haircut in ages. He tucked the tresses behind his ears and called it a win.
“How do I look, Frannie?”
“Mrow.”
“That good, huh?” Edwin kissed her forehead. She purred and rubbed her face against his jaw until he laughed from the tickle of her silky fur.
Encouraged, he carried her into the kitchen to help him make the tea. She chose the flavor by batting a box from the cupboard with her paw, then sat on the counter while he prepared it. The doorbell rang just as he was pouring the honey-sweetened Ceylon gunpowder into the thermos.
Francesca ran to the door ahead of him, letting out an excited yowl as she skidded over the hardwood floor and deftly caught her balance on the rug.
“Be right there!” Edwin stopped in the hall to shove his feet into some Top-Siders.
After patting down his pockets to be sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, he opened the front door and was suddenly grateful he’d at least tried to jerk off.
Forrest stood before him wearing a snug white tank and beat-up blue jeans. His shiny, golden hair was pulled back into a casual ponytail. The Mustang was parked in the driveway.
The teenage-dream thing wasn’t a joke. Edwin spent his adolescence wishing someone like Forrest would show up at the door to take him away from his crazy hippie mom, his maybe dad, and his annoying little half brother. Even though this wasn’t really a date, he couldn’t help the surge of adrenaline.
“Good morning.” Edwin wanted to say he’d missed him, but instead he stepped forward and wrapped Forrest in a hug, unable to bear the thought of one of those shoulder punches after what had passed between them the last time Forrest was here.
Forrest inhaled sharply at the embrace before he enfolded Edwin in bare, muscular arms. It reminded Edwin of the brush of their nude bodies, but he relaxed into it, resting his head on Forrest’s shoulder. It felt safe there.
“Good morning to you.” Forrest’s voice was husky and soft in Edwin’s ear, his breath hot in the muggy air.
That tone made Edwin tingle, and he wondered at Forrest letting the embrace linger, but he wasn’t going
to complain. He nestled his face against Forrest’s neck, breathing in the clean scent of shaving cream and wishing he’d bothered to shave on a weekend. It hadn’t even occurred to him to do it; Howard had always loved his incorrigible stubble.
That thought made Edwin pull away. Forrest wasn’t his to cling to.
“I um… Right. Let me just grab the thermos, and we can get out of here.” Edwin knelt to pick up Francesca, who’d taken advantage of the men’s distraction to curl around Forrest’s feet. He held her up so she could rub her face on Forrest, smiling a bit at the exchange, then took her inside and gave her a few long strokes to smooth her coat.
“Be good, little girl. Daddy will be home soon.” Edwin bit his lip, not wanting to leave her, then turned to look at Forrest.
The man looked like sex on legs.
Edwin glanced at Francesca and grabbed the thermos before heading out the door and locking it behind him. “So! Let’s hit the road, Bullitt.”
“Y’know, I almost bought a Highland Green Mustang, but it was just a coupe, so I went with Betty here.” Forrest started to walk to the passenger side like he was going to open the door, but then froze and beat a hasty retreat. He hopped in and reached across to pull the lock. “There’s a bit of Forrest James trivia, I guess.”
“I like Forrest James trivia. I don’t know enough about you.”
Edwin was grateful Forrest let him get the door himself; he wasn’t sure how he’d take it if Forrest were to start treating him like a woman just because he’d let him fuck him. It was one of those things with straight guys, he supposed. Once they’d had their dick in someone, they thought they had to assign him some kind of role. Fortunately Forrest seemed more enlightened than that.
Smiling, Edwin put the thermos on top of the car and opened the door. The interior was well preserved. He’d be proud to ride in it to a car show. Once he was inside, he grabbed the tea off the roof and put it between his thighs before closing the door and settling in.