by Clancy Nacht
Edwin smiled and reached out to tuck some of Jenna’s hair behind her ear before fussing with his own messy locks. “It’s all right, my dear. I appreciate your honesty. It may prove invaluable.”
Glancing at his watch, Edwin considered his options. He began to gather his things, then looked back to Jenna without slowing in his task. “You may go, Ms. Kramer. I’m going to make myself presentable and head over to the garage. Wish me luck?”
She hesitated, then nodded. “Good luck. Please don’t break him.”
Chapter Twelve
After Edwin grabbed everything—plus Francesca, who didn’t seem keen to wake up—he canceled office hours for the afternoon and bolted. He drove home to shower and shave, put on a bit of expensive cologne he’d received as a faculty gift at Christmas, and then changed into his only pair of blue jeans and a faded red polo that he’d been told eight years ago looked very handsome on him.
Eight years ago, Forrest had barely been old enough to drink. Eight years ago, Edwin had already been middle-aged.
Shaking off that thought, he kissed Francesca’s forehead. “All right, little girl, shall we go see if Daddy can fix things with his would-be beau?”
Francesca purred and nuzzled into his neck, curling her warm body against him as if she understood what they were going to do. He cuddled her as he locked the door behind them and carried her out to the Golden Hawk. She acquiesced quietly to placement in the cat cabin and perked up as they drove toward the garage.
Watching her building excitement strengthened his resolve; she’d seemed listless lately, but as they pulled into the parking lot of James Auto & Body, she was herself again.
It was still business hours, and the bay doors yawned open on bustling mechanics and cars on lifts. Forrest’s garage looked more successful than he’d ever let on, but then, that seemed to be Forrest’s way.
Edwin retrieved Francesca and locked the car, then made his way to the office. Susie was behind the desk as usual, and Edwin held out Francesca to her without a word. A plaintive meow from Francesca cut short any protests.
“I’m going to apologize, maybe more. I have Jenna’s blessing. I hope I’ll have yours.” Edwin displayed a nervous flash of teeth that was more grimace than smile, then headed into the garage without waiting for her reply.
As Edwin stepped out of the office, the scent of motor oil and hot metal engulfed him. It might not have been so seductive an aroma did it not remind him instantly of being wrapped in Forrest’s arms. Still reeling from the strength of the sense memory, Edwin spotted Forrest engrossed in conversation with one of his employees.
The other man was Hispanic, with clever, dark eyes and a wispy mustache. Forrest spoke to him in rapid Spanish sprinkled with colloquialisms that Edwin’s two semesters in high school couldn’t hope to decipher. He sounded like a native.
Edwin smiled. He wondered if Forrest had any idea how extraordinary that was. He probably rationalized it with some garbage about Spanish being the unofficial second language of every blue-collar worker in Texas. He probably never stopped to consider the kind of intelligence and patience it took to speak fluently.
Edwin’s insides went gooey as he stared at Forrest. A slow, soft pleasure worked its way up from his toes and left his knees weak. It was a mixture of pride and something tenderer, unalloyed with grief or guilt. It filled him with wonder that such a beautiful person had been in his bed even for a night, and he wanted to punch himself at the thought that he’d wounded him.
Devastated, Jenna had said. That word socked Edwin in the gut even as he stood ready to say he was sorry. Whether or not Edwin could move on, Forrest deserved better than the way things had ended. Edwin had to try.
As Forrest finished speaking, the other man glanced Edwin’s way and pointed. When Forrest looked over, Edwin waved and tried to smile, holding his ground as much because he didn’t trust himself to walk as because he wanted to see if Forrest would come to him.
Forrest’s brows went up. A flash of recognition and hope on his face quickly melted into an impassive mask. It was as if Edwin could see those final moments playing out in Forrest’s mind.
Nasty shot around the corner, then bolted past Edwin through a cat door into the office to reunite with Francesca.
If only it were that simple for humans.
Forrest squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and then crossed to Edwin. “Dr. Blais. Is there something I can help you with?”
“I owe you an apology and an explanation. I thought I would see if you would allow me to offer you either.” Edwin bit his bottom lip, holding back a torrent of words he wasn’t sure Forrest would want to hear in front of employees. Edwin looked at him with his heart in his eyes, willing Forrest to give him a chance. “Will you give me a few minutes alone? Forrest, please.”
Forrest’s brows furrowed. His lips pressed together in a hard line that didn’t look promising. But to Edwin’s surprise, Forrest nodded and led him through the office to the break room.
Susie started to follow, but Forrest shut the door before she could get through. He gestured for Edwin to take a seat. Forrest took the chair across from his.
“You don’t owe me an apology. I got ahead of myself. It’s not your fault.”
Edwin shook his head, remembering what Jenna had said. Seeing that she was right broke his heart but gave him hope. “We weren’t on the same page, and the miscommunication was my fault.”
He looked at Forrest across the table where they’d eaten dinner together so many nights. “I miss you every day. Whatever went wrong, I think about you a lot, Forrest, and I’m sorry.”
Forrest’s lips quirked up briefly, and then he appeared to force them down. His hands were clasped on the table, knuckles white. Edwin could only imagine what kind of mind games Corey must have played to have Forrest reacting with such stress.
“You don’t have to say that. I’m a big boy. You’re used to much better. So if the sex is all you want me for.” He sighed and looked away, cheeks blotching and eyes reddened. “I can make it enough.”
Edwin stared at Forrest in hastily concealed horror. It only now sank in how wounded Forrest was and how deep his scars went. It wasn’t all Edwin’s fault, but that he’d contributed to this made him sick.
He reached across the table to cover Forrest’s hands with his own. “I’m not here for that, Forrest. I’m here because you’ve become my best friend. When I said I thought you were straight, it wasn’t some kink. I just…I thought it was simple. If you were doing it out of pity, it would be just the once. You’d get it out of your system, and we’d move on.”
Edwin stared at their hands, very conscious of the warmth of Forrest’s thick fingers against his more delicate digits. A momentary haze descended on him as he remembered those fingers inside him and wrapped around his cock. He shivered.
Shaking it off, he sought Forrest’s gaze. “This is more complicated. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I know I need you in my life.”
Forrest turned his hands over and caressed Edwin’s palms. “We don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to, but I ain’t sure what else I’m good for. I don’t go out. I just like to have a couple of beers and dinner after work. But I reckon you know that. It don’t have to be complicated if you don’t want that.”
Edwin frowned, uncertain where to take the conversation from there. It was difficult to think rationally with Forrest touching him. The desire for more and his awareness that they were alone clouded his judgment.
“You’re good for me. Maybe we could go back to chatting over supper, watching Frannie and Nasty cuddle up. I liked knowing that even if I don’t have anyone to come home to, I do have someone waiting for me somewhere. I liked dinner and a couple of beers. I like you.” Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, Edwin watched Forrest, barely daring to breathe as he awaited a response.
“Yeah. I can do that. We can be best friends.” Forrest nodded and turned his hands over again, pressing them to the table. He sm
iled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I never had a best friend before. I guess maybe Susie, but that don’t count ’cause we’re related.”
On impulse, Edwin took one of Forrest’s hands in both of his and lifted it as he leaned forward. He brought it to his lips, peripherally aware it was grease stained and gritty. He kissed its back and turned it over to press his cheek into the palm, gazing at Forrest with such emotion he felt like he’d choke if he didn’t give voice to it.
He wanted to explain that best friend wasn’t precisely the category into which he’d like Forrest to fall, but he wasn’t certain he had the guts. He didn’t have the right to say the words. What if Forrest assumed Edwin was only interested in fucking? At least on the best-friend track, Forrest kept his dignity.
Instead of fumbling through that line of conversation, Edwin smiled, knowing it looked as fragile as it was. “Busy this weekend?”
“No.” Forrest tilted his head, wearing a confused expression. He stroked Edwin’s cheek. “You’re all shaved and neat. Looks nice.”
Edwin flushed with pride at the praise and closed his eyes to bask in Forrest’s touch. As he exhaled, his breath gusted along Forrest’s forearm and blew back into his flushed face. He opened his eyes and smiled wider.
“Thanks. There’s this amazing man I’m trying to impress. Do you think it’ll work?”
When he took in Forrest’s tortured expression, his flush faded.
“Probably. I mean, you impressed me. It’s hard to imagine someone wouldn’t be impressed.” The saddest thing was Forrest didn’t even sound bitter or catty, just despondent.
Even with limited exposure to Corey, Edwin could picture the little brat saying something of the sort to Forrest. Youth could be so thoughtless.
“I meant you, Mr. James.” Edwin turned his face to kiss Forrest’s fingertips, holding his hand to keep him from pulling away. He laughed softly, feeling awkward and uncertain with the romantic gesture; it hadn’t been Howard’s thing, and Edwin had never needed to try before.
His heart beat faster as he stared into Forrest’s startlingly blue eyes. He couldn’t risk the words to show what he felt, what he wanted, but he couldn’t resist these touches. It seemed impossible Forrest didn’t realize how he affected Edwin.
Forrest blushed brightly and looked down. “You always impress me.”
Looking away and clearing his throat, Edwin tried to gather his wits. “Anyway. So. You’re supposed to be working. Do you want to get together later?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. Forrest cupped the side of Edwin’s face, one rough thumb caressing his cheek in a surprisingly delicate touch. “We can eat here so you’ll be safe from me. I can pretend to be into women if that helps. We could go to the strip club. Definitely nothing would happen there.”
An unpleasant flutter in his stomach made Edwin doubt whether he’d even be hungry, but he wouldn’t miss dinner with Forrest for anything. “Here is good. I like here. I like alone. I accept any risk implied therein. Francesca and Nasty; you and me. I’ll bring beer and barbecue. You bring you, because that’s what I’ll be here for. Have we got a deal, Mr. James?”
“Barbecue? Hmm, you drive a hard bargain, Dr. Blais. I accept, but only if Frannie can stay here while you’re gone. She and Nasty missed each other.” He took Edwin’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “’Sides, I know you’ll come back for her.”
“Frannie missed him too.” Edwin twined his fingers with Forrest’s, feeling suddenly lighter, as if he might float away if he didn’t grip tight. He fought the urge to say he’d come back for Forrest too, because he knew Forrest wouldn’t believe him. Not yet.
Smiling, he released Forrest’s hand and rose to his feet.
“I’ll be back, Mr. James, but after hours I’m going to have to insist we be on a first-name basis.” Edwin winked at Forrest, then opened the door.
Francesca and Nasty darted past his ankles to harass Forrest. Susie stood not far away, trying to look innocent. Edwin raised both brows and grinned as he passed her on his way out.
Chapter Thirteen
Edwin’s hands shook as he drove the Golden Hawk to the garage after closing. He’d bought the best local microbrewery beer he could get on short notice and stopped at Sam’s BBQ. As he parked in his accustomed space, he took a deep breath.
He could do this. He had to. Forrest deserved better than life had given him so far.
So what if he wasn’t sure he was ready for a boyfriend? Forrest was already so much more to him. If Forrest would have him, if Edwin could get him to understand how adored he was, it would be worth the turmoil.
The time Edwin spent on his own had cleared his head, but his cheek still burned with Forrest’s touch. After Edwin’s very first teenage kiss, his lips had tingled all night, and the first time someone touched his naked body, he’d felt their hands for days. It had been decades since touch had stayed with him that way.
Until Forrest, he’d thought that wonder was lost forever to jaded adulthood. He couldn’t help loving Forrest for making him feel it again.
Summoning his wits, Edwin gathered their repast in both hands and carried it to the door. He tapped with his foot in lieu of knocking. “Forrest! I have victuals, boy! Open sesame!”
Forrest pulled open the door, somehow looking fresher and sweeter than he ever had before. His hair was pulled back, skin scrubbed clean. His jeans were unfairly tight and a powder-blue shirt hugged washboard abs and brought out his eyes.
Forrest glanced at the packages. “I’m gonna get sauce all over myself. I hope you don’t mind if I rudely suck it off my shirt. I love Sam’s something fierce.”
He took the bag from Edwin and headed to the little kitchen. “Frannie and Nasty are already sitting at the table. They think their dinner’s late.”
Laughing, Edwin followed a few steps behind Forrest, watching the way his round ass moved beneath the snug denim. Forrest had never looked sexier, and whether it was to punish or seduce, Edwin didn’t know or care.
Settling into his chair as Forrest made up their plates, Edwin tried discreetly to adjust his erection. Then he cleared his throat and opened a beer for each of them. “So, while you accepted this dinner under the assumption it would be platonic, I’m giving you the option to upgrade this friendly dinner to a date at any point, at your discretion. That’s either very smooth of me or really awkward. I leave it to you to decide.”
Forrest had a swig, keeping their gazes locked. Then he took the seat next to Edwin so that they were closer than usual. “So what does it take to upgrade this to a date? And what’re the consequences?”
“Well…” Edwin thought fast; he hadn’t expected this, but he supposed he should have from a man who ran his own business. “To activate your upgrade, you seal the deal with an itty-bitty kiss. Possible ramifications include the mythical gay second date.”
He sucked in a deep, nervous breath and realized Forrest smelled like aftershave. From so near, Edwin could see he’d shaved close. He hesitated, then brought his hand up to cradle Forrest’s cheek.
Forrest nuzzled Edwin’s hand and leaned in to place a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. “Just an itty-bitty kiss? I guess that’s fair. We do still need to eat.”
Oh God, that worked.
Edwin glanced away, grinning so hard his crinkled eyes obscured his vision. “Yeah, be a shame to waste such good barbecue.”
He pulled the plates Forrest had set out closer and knocked their shoulders together as he started picking at the meat with his fork. He was too keyed up to be hungry, but it gave him something to do.
“So it’s not a fancy first date, but I hope you’re good with it. It seemed more us. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not very fancy.” Edwin took a bite of mashed potatoes and rubbed his forehead with his free hand. The idea of dating again still brought the first hint of a meltdown. Casual was the best he could manage.
“You’re fancy compared to me. Left to my own devices, this’d be on a paper plate.” Forrest laughe
d and slathered a rib in sauce. Then he brought it up to his lips and gnawed like a caveman, reminding Edwin of how fiercely Forrest fucked.
Edwin shifted in his chair, ignoring the way his ass clenched in longing. The last thing Forrest needed was someone else who only seemed interested in the sex.
Glancing at Forrest sidelong, Edwin teased, “Forget paper plates. I’ll do dishes. I’m very domestic. Me and my little cat in our neat, little bungalow with our fancy china, clean laundry, and hard surfaces scrubbed down weekly. Clearly we need a big, sexy mechanic to come dirty things up, give us a challenge.”
Forrest went for another rib and managed to strip it of its meat within seconds. Sauce dribbled on Forrest’s chin. “We’d have to go to your place for me to dirty it up, and I ain’t good at behaving.”
Edwin stared at the sauce on Forrest’s chin, then leaned in and lapped it away. He gave Forrest a gentle kiss, then pulled back and smiled, eyes unfocused. “You have a standing invitation to wreak havoc, Forrest. I like you.”
“I like you too, Edwin.” Forrest chowed on another couple of ribs, shooting Edwin sidelong glances. He polished off the beer and then took to sucking the sauce from his fingers.
“Evil.” Edwin watched Forrest’s fingers disappearing past his red lips. He could only imagine how good it would feel to be inside that mouth.
Amused with his nigh-adolescent responsiveness, Edwin huffed and slumped in his seat. “I hate to think how you torment people you don’t like. Cruel, cruel, handsome man.”
Then Edwin reached for Forrest’s hand and pulled it toward him. He sucked one finger into his mouth and bobbed his head, flicking his tongue against the tip. Then he pulled away with a sly smile and again picked at his food.
Forrest whimpered, a sound Edwin could scarcely imagine coming from the brawny mechanic. It gave him a sense of perverse pride when Forrest squirmed in his chair to wrestle his erection in those tight pants.
Apparently finding no position comfortable, Forrest grabbed two more bottles of beer and sat back down. “And you call me evil!”