Tynan took a deep breath and walked to the hearth. He leaned a hand against the stone mantle.
"He has interestin’ needs."
Although he was trying to be subtle, Alenna thought she knew what he meant. "You mean he does things that Caithleen does not like?"
Tynan nodded. "Aye. That is the way of it."
Caithleen had felt comfortable enough to tell Tynan about the baron’s sexual appetites? "Caithleen must trust you very much to tell you something so personal."
"She canna tell Clandon such things. He would try and avenge her if he knew."
"But he’s just a boy."
"Aye. But a strong boy, at that. Willful, he is."
"He would be killed."
Tynan turned toward her, and even with the table between them, she felt his power and his resoluteness as a palatable force. "I’m tellin’ ye this so ye’ll not go."
"You fear the baron will attempt these … to do these things to me as well?"
"Aye. I wadna have ye sullied by his needs. A man’s needs can be cruel."
Bemused by the hoarseness in his voice, she watched as a sadness passed over his face. So many of his emotions sat on the surface, yet she sensed that deep within him dwelled a thousand other feelings. At that moment, a yearning to know every one of those feelings made her speak.
"Have you lost a woman to another man’s cruelty, Tynan?" Alenna asked softly.
He jerked his gaze to her and she saw his pain disappear under a mantle of coolness. "I have lost no one."
Disappointment made her regret her words. "If what you say about Caithleen is true, then she needs me as a companion. I can help her deal with whatever is happening. Maybe I can even stop the baron from harming her more than he has already."
Tynan came around the table so fast, she almost fell backwards onto the pallet. He grabbed her shoulders.
"Why do ye have to help her?"
"Because she’s asked for me. The baron won’t expect me to help her. If he’s anything like the rest of the men around here, he won’t believe I’m capable of doing anything."
"Huh," he said, squeezing her shoulders. She knew she’d hit a sore spot, but she didn’t care. "He’s no a stupid man, Alenna. If he thought ye might be able to help her, do ye think he’d let ye live in the donjon?"
He had a point, but she couldn’t abandon Caithleen. "I must help her."
His hands tightened on Alenna’s shoulders again. "Ye are determined to get killed, are ye?"
"No. I don’t want to die. I want to go back to my time and live my life. I want another chance to start fresh. Instead I’m stuck in this barbaric, cruel, confusing world."
"Ye canna change this world," he said, his jaw jutting slightly in irritation. "Dinna try."
"How do you know? In my world I can make a little difference here and there. Maybe not much, but some. Revolutions have been fought because somebody finally believed in change."
Silently Alenna regarded him. He was a symbol of this world’s realities. The scars on his forehead, hands, and chest stood as badges of proof. Tokens of the battles he’d fought for his beliefs. He might be an honorable man with good intentions, but he was still a primal male animal of his time. Expecting him to understand or change on a dime pushed reality’s limits.
"What if I am trapped in this world forever?" she asked, the idea a deep ache in her chest and throat. "Do you think I’d just settle for being someone’s wife, and staying at home and cooking and cleaning and having babies? In my world I don’t have to do that unless I choose. And I don’t want to do that here."
"For the last few months of my life I’ve been running from my problems. I’ve looked at the world through a fog of hurt. When I came to Scotland I was worried about getting my life under control." She made a sound of disgust. "Well, my life here is insane enough, without letting everything that happens lead me around by the nose. At least while I’m here I’m going to help Caithleen. Like you, I fight for my beliefs."
Tynan’s features transformed with the gradual movement of a man contemplating. Maybe she could get through to him. Perhaps he could understand how helping Caithleen gave her a purpose. A reason to keep on going in this strange place.
"Ye have no told me much of yer life in the future. About the man ye almost wed. About these … these things ye call a panic attack. The place called the United States."
"You haven’t asked. You’re usually scolding me for going out alone or ordering me around. I assumed you didn’t care."
He said nothing, staring blankly at the wall for several seconds. Stepping away, he went into the other room and came back seconds later with the dagger in a leather scabbard. After he handed it to her, he said, "Then take this with ye and keep it close."
The tightness in Alenna’s throat welled, threatening to choke her. "Thank you, Tynan."
"Is there nothin’ I can say or do to keep ye here?"
She thought about it; her mind raced from wild idea to wild idea. Kiss me again. Tell me you want me to stay because you care for me. Not because of some need to protect a woman. Any woman. But because you feel something for me.
These thoughts swam inside her like a rolling current, rushing in and rushing out, leaving her aching with a need she couldn’t and wouldn’t express. Any sign to him that she wanted his approval or needed his attention would be an advantage to him. She couldn’t afford to care more than she already did.
"There’s nothing you can do to stop me, Tynan. Besides, even if I wanted to stay, would you have me defy the baron?"
She saw him shift gears, his mind working frantically for another lead … anything to alter the course.
"I could talk to him in your stead. Explain ye were so overtaken by his offer, ye dinna think." He paused. "I could tell him we’re to be married."
Alenna thought her heart would stop. She inhaled a ragged breath. "What?"
"Marriage. If we were married—"
"No." She waved a dismissing hand. "He’d never believe a fake marriage."
"We’d no fake it."
She couldn’t believe her own ears. She gave him a tattered laugh. "You really are a knight in shining armor."
"Eh? My armor doesna shine."
Despite the gravity clutching at her emotions, she managed a small smile. "Never mind. I can’t do it, Tynan. I can’t marry you, just to avoid the baron. I could never live with myself if I abandoned Caithleen."
"I wadna have ye forsake her. We’d find a way together."
"I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, to me or to you. Someday … someday you’ll find a woman you really do want to marry and—"
"Nay!" he said harshly. "I willna."
"There isn’t anything you could do to make me marry you," she said abruptly.
He flinched as if she’d hit him. For a moment she regretted her strong words. Then he stepped back and gestured to the door.
"Then be gone with ye. I’ll have no more time to waste with ye."
The coldness of his tone struck at her heart like an icy needle. Surprised that his words hurt, but determined to get past the pain, she took her bundle and headed for the door without a backward glance. When Alenna closed the door it sounded like a gate had sealed forever in her heart.
* * *
CHAPTER 12
"Mistress, is somethin’ wrong? Ye seem unhappy," Caithleen said, as she helped Alenna put her clothing away in a heavy wood trunk.
Alenna smiled at the young woman and gazed around the chamber. A fire roared in the large hearth. "Nothing is wrong. This is a beautiful room."
She’d never seen a more comfortable and pretty room in the fourteenth century. Four times the magnitude of Tynan’s chambers, the high ceiling gave the illusion of an even larger space. Narrow windows limited the view and the light.
She walked over to the large table in the center of the room and traced her hand over the somewhat uneven surface of the wood. A large pitcher with four pewter goblets and two heavy candlesticks lay in the middle of t
he table. She strolled to the bed and sat on the edge. Several plaids graced the large frame bed, and a tapestry hung at the head of the bed and afforded some protection against drafts.
Caithleen sat down beside her. "Are ye sure ye will be comfortable here?"
"What’s not to like?"
Caithleen’s pretty eyes sparkled with good humor. With small, delicate hands, almost childlike in their structure, she smoothed her blue kirtle and surcoat. Though tall, Caithleen somehow managed to appear frail, and this brought out a protective instinct in Alenna. More than once she had to remind herself that in this century, Caithleen was considered a grown woman.
"I am so happy ye have decided to be my companion." Caithleen’s smile faded even as she said the words. "I dinna think the baron would let ye come. And I dinna think Tynan would let ye go."
"He didn’t want me to come here. I told him to buzz off."
Caithleen’s face screwed up. "Buzz off?"
"Sorry. It’s a way of saying he should leave me alone."
"Tynan is a guid man. Why do ye hate him?"
"I don’t hate him. But I knew you needed help, and he was trying to prevent me coming to live here."
An impish gleam popped into Caithleen’s eyes. "A man like him … well, a woman could do far worse. Yet ye dinna set yer cap for him."
"No," Alenna said swiftly. "I … I’m not in love with him." The speculative glance Caithleen sent her way said she doubted Alenna’s assertion. "Are you in love with the baron?"
Caithleen started as if she’d been jabbed with a cattle prod. Standing swiftly, she walked to the table and clasped the back of one chair with both hands.
"Nay," she said breathlessly. "I could never be in love with him. Never. There is someone else in my heart."
Alenna had to know. "Tynan?"
Caithleen turned, her lips softened with a gentle smile. "Tynan may be a braw man. But another has stolen my heart. I dinna ken if the man knows what I feel."
"Caithleen, you can trust me. You can tell me anything at any time. And not just about who you love."
Hesitating like a baby venturing to crawl for the first time, Caithleen said, "Tynan told me ye are a good woman."
Alenna sucked in a surprised breath. "He said that?"
"Aye. He much admires ye. Dinna ye feel it? Why, I can see it in his eyes when he talks of ye."
A sweet, tingling pleasure centered in Alenna’s body, blossoming outward until she had to admit to herself the revelation pleased her. "I … he hasn’t told me. Most of the time he thinks I’m too bold."
Caithleen giggled. "Aye, he does think ye are bold. But it seems he’s a man that admires that."
Alenna’s throat tightened with emotion. Not seeing Tynan often anymore would be good for her. Yet she already missed him.
"You’re clever. We’ve managed to get the subject off your secret love."
Caithleen smiled. "I did try." Clasping her hands in front of her, she said, "I am in love with Dougald of Douglas."
"Oh," Alenna said, the syllable popping out in surprise.
A frown creased Caithleen’s forehead. "We’ve known each other for ever so long, and when I see him, I get these strange feelin’s. I can hardly tell ye about them." She knelt down on the floor in front of Alenna and sat back on her heels. "I’ve never felt this burnin’ in my breast. This hungry need for any man. Have ye ever felt that way?"
Immediately an image of Tynan came to Alenna’s mind. Ruthlessly she shoved it away and remembered her ex-fiancé.
"I … I thought I did once. My betrothed, long ago. But it wasn’t right. He didn’t love me."
Caithleen’s eyes saddened, the ache of despair etching lines in the smooth skin of her face. Alenna’s heart ached for Caithleen’s ruined innocence, and for the suffering she’d endured at the baron’s hands.
"Do you and Dougald see each other often?" Alenna asked.
"Nay. But when he does see me, he smiles and is very gallant." She looked down at her hands. "He has never addressed me with affection."
"There is hope," Alenna said, already concocting an idea to get them together. Caithleen needed another ally in her corner. A male protector might assist her when the time came to escape the baron.
"Aye, there is always hope." Caithleen’s smile returned, rejuvenating the natural glow that seemed a part of her nature.
Alenna wondered how to ease her into a conversation about the baron’s behavior, and knew no easy way around the subject. She had to jump in headfirst.
"Caithleen, Tynan told me of your … problems with the baron."
The young woman started, her hand going to her mouth. "He told ye?"
Leaning forward to clasp her arm, Alenna said, "I’m sure Tynan didn’t mean to break a confidence. He said he told me because he worried that it would happen to me, as well. That is part of the reason I agreed to the baron’s suggestion I stay here. I couldn’t refuse his order, and I knew I could help you."
"No. He … I canna tell ye. If the baron ever found out—"
"He won’t. You must tell me, if I’m to help you."
"There is nothin’ ye can do."
Nothing you can do.
Her words rang together with Tynan’s. Like a litany Alenna thought of the time right after her breakup with her ex-fiancé. She’d felt helpless and out of control. Lack of control had helped her lose her job and lack of control had sent her into Tynan’s arms. No matter what, Caithleen couldn’t be allowed to sink deeper into an abyss. There must be a way to get her free.
"We can do something, if you’ll let me help you," Alenna said.
Caithleen wrinkled her nose, apparently incredulous. "I dinna ken. Of course I must do what he wants. He’s my … he is my keeper. I am his mistress."
"I know you’re afraid, but if you continue to live this way you’ll die. Your heart, your soul, your physical body will be destroyed."
Caithleen shook her head. "I need the coin for Clandon. ‘Tis not me I do this for. Nay, I wadna have fallen to this sin if we had enough to eat. But ‘tis my coin that keeps Clandon alive. I fear someday the baron will realize I give Clandon money."
Tears spilled like a waterfall over Caithleen’s lashes. She covered her face with her hands and a small sob broke from her lips.
Mortification gripped Alenna. She sank to her knees in front of Caithleen, and the cold stone floor penetrated her clothing, freezing through to the bone. An icy, horrible portent clutched at Alenna’s soul. She had to help Caithleen before time ran out. Gently she clasped Alenna’s shoulders.
"I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or bring back bad memories."
Sucking in a shuddering breath, Caithleen dropped her hands from her face. Swimming with moisture and sadness, her eyes glazed with the sheen of despair.
"Caithleen, please tell me so I might help you."
"How can ye help me? No one can."
"How do you know unless you tell me what the baron has done?"
"I am ashamed."
"You mustn’t be. Whatever horrid things he does, it is his fault alone and not yours."
Caithleen’s bottom lip trembled. As she clasped her hands tightly in her lap the tears fell one by one onto the backs of her hands. "He … he likes to do things to my body. I had always imagined a man’s touch … the things a man likes to do with a woman would be beautiful. He … the baron was my first. He took my virtue." She looked up at Alenna. "It hurt. It was horrible."
Alenna bit her lip. "Did he strike you?"
"Not the first time. But he has hit me many times since. When he thinks I am bletherin’. Or … for no reason other than he wants to hit me."
"Bastard!" Alenna hissed and dropped her hold on Caithleen’s shoulders. "I wish I could strangle him."
"Shhh!" Caithleen looked around the rooms as if she expected the baron’s guards to crash into the room. "We must be careful what we say. If he sees that ye know … if he thinks anyone knows, he’ll kill me."
Rage roared in Alenn
a’s blood, and she could feel the heat rising in her like a furnace. "Don’t worry. He won’t find out. At least not until it is too late."
"What do ye mean?"
"We must make a plan to get you out of here, so you don’t have to be his mistress anymore."
Caithleen clasped Alenna’s hands in hers. "Oh, Alenna, wad that were true. I wad try anythin’." She looked down at their hands. "Yer hands are cold! We can stoke up the fire and talk."
As they put another log on the fire, Alenna suggested they pull two chairs over closer to the hearth.
She thought of the times she’d sat by the fire in the Black Tower, and she wondered what Tynan did at that moment. Did he ever think about her? His last words as he’d gestured for her to leave his chambers echoed in her mind, like a ghost haunting a house. Sadness filled her if she thought of the cold way he’d dismissed her. She brushed aside thoughts of him with difficulty, and set about explaining her plan to get Caithleen out of her predicament.
* * *
Alenna heard the sound as she first drifted to sleep that night. On the edges of her consciousness the creaking noise invaded, like a lingering image on the rim of a dream. At first she thought the wind battered the walls of the castle and sent rain down with lashes of fury. Just another night sound to be ignored.
Shuffling. The sound of stealthy feet moving over rushes.
Coming fully alert, she stiffened.
She turned onto her back. Opening her eyes, she looked about. The heavy mantle of night choked everything in a devil’s darkness. Looking toward the door, she thought she saw a crack of light. As if someone opened the door, passed through, and barely pushed the door to.
She knew it as surely as she knew her own name. Someone was in the room.
"Caithleen?" she whispered softly. "Is that you?"
Silence.
A vision of a little mouse or other vermin rushing over the floor made her stomach lurch.
Another shifting sound, barely on the edge of her hearing, kept her immobile in the bed. For what seemed forever she lay without a sound, half-afraid to breathe.
Straining to hear any noise, she waited. Waited.
Swiftly her heart pounded, the tempo increasing in every pulse point in her body. As sweat dampened her palms, her limbs became cold. Rigid with fright, she couldn’t even call out. A stab of terror hit her center, striking like a cobra. Without warning the panic grew to a perilous height she hadn’t experienced in months. Like a child she feared the night once again, trembling with uncontrollable desperation.
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