I picked it up and gazed into the eyes that were looking at me. “Hey, Mom, it’s been a while since we talked. I just wanted you to know that I love you and miss you. I met a man last night, and I think he’s special. He came into the diner and then he saved me from a horrible boy that tried to do something terrible to me. Anyway, he held me all night so I wouldn’t be afraid. I just thought I’d let you know that I was okay.” I placed the picture back on my nightstand and thought of all the ways I missed my mom.
A shadow danced across the wall. “Hey, Tills, I heard you talking. Glad you made it home safely. Who were you talking to?”
“Just talking to Mom. I do that every once in a while. I miss her sometimes.”
“I miss her all the time, Tills. I knew the minute I saw your mom that she was the one for me. My heart raced, and my hands shook. She scorched my soul with our first kiss, and I knew I was in trouble. She may have left us, but she still lives in my heart and my soul. There will never be anyone but your mom for me. Just remember that someday you’re going to fall for someone, honey. Make sure that he’s worthy of you.”
“I know, Dad.” What better way to bring up my big plans tomorrow? “Hey, I have a date tomorrow at one o’clock. Mr. Saunders’s grandson is in town to clean out the house. We met at the diner, and I like him. We’re going to head out to lunch. Will you be around to meet him?” Please say no.
“I should be. What’s his name?” He reached in his pocket and pulled his notepad and pen out.
“You’re not going to run a check on him if I give you his name, are you?” Oh, my God, would he ever stop worrying about me?
“I only did that to that one boy from across the lake. As it turned out, he had unpaid parking tickets, which says something about his lack of responsibility.” He sat on my bed and shrugged his shoulders.
“You’ve done it to more than just one boy, Dad. That’s why I don’t get many dates. I get to choose who I date, who I kiss, and who I sleep with.” He cringed as I said the last part of my sentence. “I’m almost nineteen, and I’m moving out on my own in just over a month. You need to back off. I like this man. I’m seeing him. His name is Alexander Saunders if you must know. He’s kind and gentlemanly and a good kisser.” I added that just to annoy my dad, though all in all, my dad was pretty cool. As long as I let him know where I was and what I was up to, he didn’t usually get too involved. The exception was that he ran all the names he could to make sure I didn’t end up with a serial killer.
“You’re killing me, Tills. You know I’ve got to run him. He’s a stranger.”
“Whatever, Dad. I love you, even if you are a crazy dad.” And he was. Crazy for me and I loved him for it.
“Let’s just hang out and watch a movie today. We don’t have much time before you move to the big city.” He patted my leg and walked out of my room.
We ended up at the diner for lunch and then at the local theater. They only played old movies, and today was a Shirley Temple marathon. I loved those movies, so I happily sat through three of them while eating popcorn and Milk Duds. We drove home and went our separate ways. That was our usual night. I hid in my room and read while he watched sports in front of the big screen. I sat at my desk singing the animal crackers song and Googled Alex Saunders. Up popped his picture. Everything he’d said was true. He had twenty-six published books. His mom was the editor at Blush, a hot teen magazine that covered everything from boys to makeup. There was no mention of a father.
I Googled Samuel Saunders and found out that we had indeed had a famous playwright living in town and no one had realized it. He was known to be a recluse, and there was only a small blurb about his estranged family. His wife died young, and his daughter was the editor at a popular young women’s magazine. Alex just had to say Blush, and I would have known the exact periodical. I wondered whether he was humble or whether he didn’t want anyone to know about him and his connections.
My phone vibrated with an incoming text.
Rachel: Are you talking to me yet?
Me: Maybe.
Rachel: Are you really okay? Where did you stay last night?
Me: I’ll tell you if you promise not to repeat it.
Rachel: Cross my heart.
Me: I stayed at Old Man Saunders’s house with his grandson. He is the man from the diner.
Rachel: Holy shit you slept with him? Why didn’t you say so?
Me: No, he saved me from Sam, and after you bailed on me and left me hanging loose, he let me stay there. He’s a super nice man. We have a date tomorrow.
Rachel: No way. I saw his handiwork on Sam’s face. His nose looks like it’s broken. Serves Sam right. He came back saying that you bit him.
Me: I did bite him, and Alex beat him to a pulp. We made a good team. He was there for me.
Rachel: I’m surprised, he was so nice at the lake.
Me: You were drunk and with Tommy, he was drunk and looking for some action. He’s not a nice guy. Nice guys don’t pin you down, unbutton your pants and try to rape you. You may be into that, but I’m not.
Rachel: Once again, I’m sorry. I was caught up in the moment and didn’t look after you. I seem to be saying I’m sorry a lot lately.
Me: Listen to yourself. Think back to always. Have you ever looked after me? No, it’s you who gets looked after. It’s me who cleans up your vomit and holds your hand when you pee on a stick because you forgot to take your pill. I’m leaving soon, and you will be on your own.
Rachel: The truth hurts me, you’re right, but I feel responsible for last night. I told that boy that you wanted to lose your virginity.
Me: You what? You pretty much gave him an invitation. What the fuck were you thinking? That’s right, you don’t think. You drink and screw and have fun and let the rest of us pick up the pieces. Grow up.
I silenced the phone and tossed it onto the bed. I was so pissed off. I grabbed my keys, my phone, and my purse and told my dad I was going out. He turned to look at me. I told him I’d had a fight with Rachel, and he just nodded his head. He didn’t want to deal with girl stuff.
I backed out of the driveway and headed toward Alex’s, hoping he wouldn’t mind my intrusion. It took me about ten minutes to get from his house to mine. I pulled behind his black sedan and sat there for a minute. The porch light turned on, and I watched while Alex walked out to my car. He opened my door and began to speak.
“Hey, what a surprise. I was just thinking about you. Are you coming in or not? I actually have some food and drinks on hand. I can be a much better host tonight.”
I stepped out of the car and into his arms. His touch warmed me to the bone. It was a hot, muggy night, but he warmed my insides. It was like his kiss scorched my soul.
“I’m sorry I came unannounced. I didn’t have your number so I couldn’t call.”
“Don’t be silly. You can come here anytime you want. Where does your dad think you are tonight?”
“He has no idea. I can’t stay the night, but I wanted to see you. I had a fight with Rachel, and I left and came straight here. You seem to be good for my frazzled nerves.” Something about him made me feel safe.
“Let’s go inside. I have some soda and some chips and dip.” He walked me into the house. His hand rested on my lower back and sizzled against my skin. The heat of his touch flowed through my clothing.
“Do you feel that? It’s like our skin is on fire when we touch. I feel it every time you touch me. It happened when we first shook hands in the diner, and it happens every time we touch now. Please tell me I’m not crazy.” I prayed that he recognized the connection. He said we had chemistry. Was this what chemistry felt like?
He walked around to face me after closing the porch door. He reached up and touched my cheek. “Do you mean this?” A jolt of energy surged through me as he gently caressed my cheek. I shuddered.
“Yes, that.” I tilted my head back to give him access to my lips. I reached up on my tiptoes and gently placed my mouth against his. “And this,” I
said as I delicately licked his bottom lip.
He pulled me to the couch and sat me on his lap. “The chips and dip can wait.”
We kissed like teenagers on our first date. I moaned as he explored my mouth. His unique taste of fresh citrus coated my tongue. His hands worked in conjunction with each other. One rubbed my back while another slid up my bare leg. I was wearing shorts and a V-neck T-shirt. He broke the kiss and looked at me.
“You look perfect tonight. Your hair is so soft. I didn’t even know it was such a light blonde color. You had it pulled back at the diner, and last night you were full of mud. This morning it was tangled in knots.” He wet his lips. I leaned in and mimicked his action by running my tongue over his lower lip.
“What happened with your friend? You said you had a fight and left.”
“She set me up last night. She pretty much told that guy that I was a sure thing. I’m really mad at her. That’s not what I had in mind when I said I wanted a blue ribbon summer.”
“Why would she do that? I was going to ask tomorrow, but now that you’re here, I want to know what a blue ribbon summer is.”
I groaned at the mention of a blue ribbon summer. “I’ll need that soda. I would have something stronger if I weren’t driving.”
He picked me up and sat me to his side. He went to the refrigerator and brought us both a soda. I popped the top on mine and took a sip of the cold bubbly drink.
“Spill it, Tilly.” He held my hand as if I was going to need moral support.
“Okay, well, you have to imagine how tough it is to be the sheriff’s daughter. In fact, I would imagine that while we sit here, your name is being run through every check it can be. I told my dad that we were going to hang out tomorrow, and I know he got right on it. I hope that you don’t have a criminal background or any unpaid tickets.”
His hand came up to rub his chin. Was he going to tell me to leave? “I don’t think I’ve ever had a law person run a check on me, though I’ve had my credit score run several times.”
“Are you upset?” There was merriment dancing in his eyes.
“No, I think I like your dad. His actions are in your best interests. He’s looking out for what’s important to him. I respect that.”
I must have exhaled loudly because he pulled me to his chest and told me not to worry.
“I’m not sure you want to know what a blue ribbon summer is, but I’ll tell you. I’m hoping that you find out anyway. Waycross has a big Fourth of July celebration every year. We get all 4-H and everything here. It’s like a county fair on steroids. Every year I enter the pie baking contest, and every year I win a blue ribbon. Rachel and I were joking at the beginning of the summer. She said the only thing that could make it an all-around blue ribbon summer was if I lost my virginity.”
He pushed me back from his chest and looked at me. His eyes were big, and he had a wary look about him. “You’re a virgin? You don’t kiss like a virgin.”
“Really? How does a virgin kiss since you have so much experience with virgins?” The thought of him with another girl made my chest ache. I’d just met him, but I wasn’t willing to share him.
“I have no idea, but I wouldn’t expect one to kiss like you do. Every time our lips touch, I want to peel off your clothes.”
I began to laugh because that had been my exact thought yesterday. “You can turn and run right now, or you can start peeling off my clothes. I’m probably the last eighteen-year-old virgin left in Texas. Did you know that the average girl loses her virginity at fourteen? I’m more than four years behind the curve.” I may have read that in Blush, or maybe it was Cosmo. I wasn’t sure.
“There’s no rush to lose your virginity, Tilly. It should be with someone you have a deep connection with.”
I picked up my hand and brushed his cheek. I knew we both felt the charge. “Like this?” I asked as I leaned in for a kiss. I pulled his lower lip into my mouth and rolled my tongue over it. I could see his arousal spring to attention. I moved closer, so I was back in his lap.
“God, Tilly, what are you trying to do to me? I have a beautiful eighteen-year-old virgin sitting on my arousal, and she wants to lose her virginity. What am I supposed to do?” He pushed me away lightly.
“Just say yes. I feel a connection with you that I haven’t ever felt with anyone. I know what this is, Alex. I know you’re leaving. I know you don’t want a relationship. I get it. I’m not asking you to throw me on the couch and ravish me. I’m just asking you to go with it if it feels right.”
Alex took my hand and pushed it against his erection. “Tilly, to a man it always feels right. We have two heads, and sometimes the wrong one does all the thinking.” He dropped my hand, but I didn’t pull it from his pants. I left it lying there, feeling his heat.
“Well, if you’re not going to ravish me, then at least kiss me.”
He leaned forward, making me fall back on the couch. The weight of his body pressed mine into the leather.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I don’t want you to be flashing back to last night.” The concern in his eyes was heartwarming.
“Last night was totally forgotten the minute you carried me into this house.”
He crushed my mouth with a kiss. His hips rocked involuntarily against mine. I felt the length of him against my bare thigh. His lips dropped to my neck while he peppered me with soft kisses. I laid my head back and moaned. Every touch sent a jolt of heat straight to my sex. I found myself rocking my hips to his rhythm. We were both squirming and moaning. He pulled my shirt above my head. His eyes took in my chest. Sitting up and straddling me, he unhooked my bra and let my breasts fall. His hands cupped both of them, and his thumbs rubbed across my nipples.
“Oh, my God, that feels amazing. No one but you has ever seen or touched my breasts unless you count an outside-the-shirt fondle I received a long time ago.” I told him breathlessly. He continued to caress and rub at the puckered skin. I arched to meet his hands. I was reaching for something, but I had no idea what. He shifted his body, so he sat lower on my thighs. His palms descended, and he took one nipple in his mouth. It was like a flame from a fire. The hot touch of his tongue made my stomach clench.
“Do you like that? The nipples are incredibly sensitive on both the male and female body.”
“So if I licked your nipples, you would feel the same things that I do?” I’d never thought to lick a man’s nipple.
“I don’t know if it’s the same, but I know that it feels great to me too.” He pulled off his shirt, giving me access to him. I sat up and pulled one of his nipples gently into my mouth. His head fell back as the sweetest-sounding moan escaped his lips. I did the same with the other nipple and then retreated, smiling broadly because I brought him pleasure. Bringing him pleasure made me feel powerful and in control.
Between his kisses and his attention to my nipples, I was a mess. My body didn’t know whether it was coming or going. I was breathless, sweaty, and tingly.
“Have you ever come before?” He asked the question like someone asking a common question, like: Have you ever seen the sun? His openness made me feel safe and comfortable.
“No, I don’t think so. Wouldn’t I know if I did?” I was slightly embarrassed and could feel the heat of a blush rising.
“I would hope so. Would you like to see if we can make that happen? I’m not taking your virginity tonight, Tilly. It wouldn’t be right. I’m willing to relieve this stress, but that’s all. When and if we ever have sex, I want it to be a blue ribbon day.”
I laid back and let him work his magic on me. His kisses started the inferno and when he plucked at my nipples, my body started to quake. It was when he slid his hand down my shorts and parted my lips down there that I came undone. It took one touch to the tiny bundle of nerves, and I was completely gone. My hips shifted and bucked as something foreign captured me. My toes started to tingle, and the feeling clawed its way up to my belly before it retreated and exploded between my legs. My body rocked and convuls
ed. I moaned and called out his name. His lips covered mine in a kiss as the throbbing between my thighs subsided.
“That’s an orgasm. Did it feel familiar? I’m pretty sure you would have remembered something like that if you had one. It was a beautiful sight to see you experience your first one.”
“Oh, my God, did I make crazy funny faces and weird sounds? I feel like I totally lost control of my body. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
“You looked amazing. You arched your hips forward, and you rolled your head back. Your mouth opened in a look I can only describe as bliss, and you called out my name––which was a total turn-on.”
He pulled his hand from my shorts and began to straighten me out. I lay on the couch and caught my breath. My upper body was still bare to his eyes. I felt like I should be self-conscious, but he looked at me with such reverence. His fingers traced over my breasts, and I could feel my nipples tighten and pucker. My breath hitched as his finger and thumb rolled the sensitive flesh between them. My head arched back, and an involuntary moan escaped my lips. He palmed my whole breast before his hand slid to rub softly over my stomach.
“You need to get dressed, or you may never get home.” He gave me my clothes and got up and walked away from me. He adjusted his pants and stared out into the night.
“What about you? Aren’t you feeling tension that needs to be relieved? I may have not actually experienced a lot myself, but I read, and I have Rachel as my friend. She’s like the town nymphomaniac.”
He walked toward me and lifted my hair from the inside of my shirt. Fisting a handful, he pulled me toward him and consumed me with a kiss. “Why did you have to be you?” he asked.
“What’s wrong with me?” His statement baffled me. Was there something wrong with me?
“Nothing—that’s the problem. If I were to describe the perfect girl for me, she would be you. You’re funny and sweet, you’re beautiful and well spoken. You went through an awful event and handled it better than most women I know could have. I like everything about you.” He rubbed at the stubble on his jaw.
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