Sam landed another solid punch to Alex’s midsection. I looked into his face and saw fury. He glimpsed at me for just a second. His head rocked forward and then slammed back with such force I could hear the bones in Jake’s face crunch. Alex was free, and now there was only Sam to deal with. Sam’s face had gone from triumphant to terror-filled as he realized he was on his own. Jake was rolling on the ground, blood gushing from his nose and mouth. Alex was calm––or at least he looked calm. I could see the rage in his eyes. Sam danced around Alex like he was a prizefighter. He hopped back and forth on his feet with his hands fisted and ready. Alex pulled his neck to each side as if trying to pop it.
In a flash, Sam made his move. He bolted forward and threw his punch. He connected, but not where he intended. His fists never came into contact with Alex, but his nose came into contact with Alex’s fist. The howls coming from that boy could probably be heard in the next county.
My dad arrived just in time to see the final punch thrown. He scanned the crowd and told everyone to move along. He asked a few trustworthy people to make a statement. He was in full sheriff mode. I ran to Alex to see whether he was okay.
He was holding his stomach. Sam had gotten a good punch in before Alex laid him out flat.
“Are you okay?” I took my hands and lifted his shirt. His ribcage was red on his right side. I tried to touch him, but he flinched away. I led him to a bench and had him take a seat. To my right were Rachel and Tommy.
“Rachel, go get some ice and a towel,” I snapped. She didn’t hesitate; she rushed off toward the concession stands to do my bidding. She returned within minutes with everything I’d asked for. The crowd had dwindled, and all that was left were the participants and a few of the older folk in town. This was probably the most excitement they had experienced in a while.
I heard Sam yelling at my dad that he wanted to press charges. My dad picked him up by the collar and dragged him to where Alex and I were sitting. He let go of Sam’s shirt. He fell to the ground by our feet. He scrambled up immediately and backed away from Alex.
“Is this the boy who hit you?” he asked Sam. I watched as Sam nodded. Dad continued, “You know what, you match the description of the boy who tried to rape my daughter. Now, if I were to press charges against this boy for defending her honor once again, I would have to bring charges up on you for attempted rape.” He watched as Sam finally figured it all out. He wasn’t quick-witted. It took him a minute to put the pieces together.
“Now, Sam, I’ve interviewed many people today, and they all say that your friend helped hold Alex down while you punched. Of course, you felt bad about that, and so you decided to come over and apologize. Seeing as your vision is not quite right due to your last encounter with this boy, you must’ve tripped and fallen right into his fist, according to the witnesses. Would you say that was what happened here today?” My father loomed large over Sam while he waited for the only answer that he’d accept.
“Yes, sir.” He looked at my dad and then at Alex.
“Well, Sam, now that we have taken care of that small detail, I believe you were on your way over to apologize to both of these people. Why don’t you do that and then head back over to your side of the lake?”
Sam eyed us with uncertainty until my dad gave him a nudge forward. Quickly and curtly, he apologized to both Alex and me, and then all but ran toward the parking lot.
My dad eyed the red mark on Alex’s ribcage. “Keep ice on it. It will bruise, but it should be okay. Thanks for taking care of Tills for me.”
Alex shook my dad’s hand because that was what guys did. Rachel and Tommy came forward to apologize as well. Within a few minutes, we were left alone sitting outside the kissing booth with no takers in sight.
I looked up at the sign that was above us. It read, “Kisses $1.00.” I pulled a dollar out of my pocket and handed it to Alex.
“I need a kiss.”
“I need a drink,” he said as he slowly rose from the bench. I suspected that he hurt a lot worse than he was letting on.
We walked to his car, where he handed me the keys. Now I knew he was hurting because he’d never offered to let me drive his car before. I pushed the electronic start and left the fair behind. I took a detour and ran by my house so I could pick up a few things. Alex waited in the car.
It took us another ten minutes to get to his house. Even hurt, he remained a gentleman. He unlocked the door and let me enter first.
“Let’s get you on the couch, Sir Lancelot.” I pulled him toward the leather sofa and sat him down.
“Sir Lancelot?” He started to chuckle but thought better of it. Laughing was not going to be easy or pain-free.
“Yes, you seem to be my knight in shining armor. Now let me care for you.” I opened my bag and took out a tube of arnica cream. My mom had bought this stuff by the caseloads. Between my dad’s job and whatever I got banged up by, we went through a lot of it. I’d made sure to keep it handy just in case.
I pulled his shirt over his head, making sure not to rub up against his bruised ribcage. I squeezed some of the cold white cream onto my fingers and gingerly rubbed it into his skin.
“This stuff is great for bruising. If you don’t feel at least fifty percent better by morning, I’ll be surprised.” After I capped the tube, I put it on the coffee table. Reaching for my phone, I texted my dad.
Me: I just wanted you to know that I won’t be home tonight. I want to keep an eye on Alex. His ribcage really did take a beating. I know that this is probably the worst text for a dad to get.
Dad: I don’t want to know the details, only that you’re okay. Keep icing his side to reduce the swelling. I’ll see you tomorrow.
I tossed my phone on the table and snuggled up to my man. I handed him the remote control, and we settled in for reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.
“Tills, are you okay? I could see that his actions took you right back to that night. I don’t want you to think that I’m a violent guy, but he was out of line. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew that I would respond. I’m sorry.” Alex winced when he moved to find a comfortable position.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. What am I going to do when you’re not around to save me?” I’d be crying over a gallon of rocky road ice cream. That’s what I’d be doing.
“I’m buying you pepper spray and a Taser.” His left arm wrapped around me and played with my hair.
“I may need them. I’ll be on a big campus with lots of strangers. Are you familiar with the area around the college?” It was hard to believe that I’d be leaving soon too.
“Yes, although I didn’t go to school there. It’s a great city, and you’ll do fine.”
We both sat in silence. I was thinking about how tough it would be when he left. I had no idea what he was thinking about. I lifted up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.
“I’m going to make the spaghetti that’s here if that’s okay.” I rummaged through the cupboard and took out the spaghetti and the sauce I saw the other day.
“That sounds great. Can I help?”
“No, you stay there. It will take me just a few minutes.” I prepared our dinner and brought it to the living room where we twirled our pasta and watched TV. It was a relaxing evening in front of the TV. The sky would explode with light from the town’s fabulous fireworks display in a few hours. If Alex felt up to it, we could sit on the deck and watch from there.
The first explosion of fireworks started just as the sun fully set. I could see the spray of white fire light up the sky. I turned to tell Alex that the fireworks had started but saw that he was asleep. I carefully extricated myself from him and walked out onto the deck.
I watched as the night sky magically lit up. The white explosions were my favorite. When I was a child, I thought it was fairy dust.
“Why didn’t you wake me? I want to watch with you.” Alex joined me on the deck. He pulled me to his chest and walked both of us back until we got to the chaise lounge. He sat down a
nd pulled me into his lap.
“You’re going to hurt yourself if I lean against you.” He didn’t listen to me; he just pulled me against his chest.
“It actually feels much improved. Now that you’re touching me, I feel even better.” We leaned back and watched the sky explode with color. His hands wrapped around me in a protective embrace.
“I don’t know how I’m going to let you go. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I could have a summer fling with you, but I guess I was wrong. I let my heart get involved, and now it aches every time I think of you leaving.” I struggled to suppress the tears that wanted to flow.
“Don’t think about it. It’s just temporary. I’ll be back in Texas before you know it, and we’ll see each other again. I promise.”
I leaned into him, trying to focus my weight on his left side. We watched as the last of the fireworks lit up the sky.
“You know, if we went to bed, I could make you forget about the pain in your ribs.” I turned over on my side and nuzzled my nose into his neck. I inhaled his scent. It was sandalwood, bergamot, and Alex, and it all flowed together into an intoxicating mix.
“Is that right? I think we may have created a monster. However, I’m willing to try to tame the beast inside of you.” We rose from the chaise, walked past the living room, and went straight into the room we’d adopted as our bedroom.
Naked and in his arms, I did my best to make him forget about everything. I pleased him in the ways he had taught me. Using only my hands and mouth, I took him to places beyond his imagination. Tonight was not about my needs; it was about pleasing the man I loved. Oh, God, I loved him.
“I think you’ve drained my body of its ability to come. I don’t have another drop to give you.” He lay on the bed, barely able to move. What was funny was that I’d done all the work, yet he was the one who was tired. Something was definitely wrong with that picture.
“What time do you have to leave?” he asked.
“I don’t. I’m spending the night with you. I told my dad that I didn’t want you staying by yourself with your injury. He agreed with me. Well, sort of agreed. He didn’t fight it.” I had to give my dad credit. He was being quite mature about the whole thing.
“Will he shoot me when I take you home tomorrow?” He eyed me with worry.
“Of course not. My dad looks at you like you’re made of spun gold. He respects you for taking care of me. I guess he’s willing to sacrifice my virginity for my safety.” I laughed at that thought. I couldn’t imagine what my dad must be thinking.
“Does he think we’re having sex?” Alex bolted up into a sitting position in spite of his bruised ribs.
“Well, I imagine he does. We are having sex, we just aren’t having intercourse.”
His blush looked adorable as it turned his olive skin a reddish brown.
We settled in for the night. I snuggled up to him by pushing my bottom into the front fold of his body. His arms wrapped around me tightly.
I woke to the strangest sound: moaning. I tried to tune into it, and realized I was making all of the noise. My body was tight, and the tension inside was rising. I didn’t want to open my eyes. If I did, he might stop.
“I know you’re awake. I knew the minute you realized I was here taking care of you. The tension in your body changed.”
I kept my eyes closed and whispered, “I’ll stay asleep if you continue to do what you’re doing. I’ll wake up if you’ve decided to actually have sex with me.”
“Keep your eyes closed, Tills. You’re not ready for sex.”
What did he mean I wasn’t ready for sex? I’d been ready for sex for a long time. It just seemed like sex wasn’t ready for me. I reluctantly pushed his hands from my body.
“Why? You’ll do everything else with me, but you won’t fuck me. Why?” I was enraged by his refusal.
“I would never fuck you. Sex means more to me than that. It’s a serious development in a relationship. I loved the first girl I had sex with. She didn’t love me in return. She just wanted to have sex. I know you, and you’re not that girl. You think you are, but when we have sex, it’s going to mean something to you, something deep and profound. It’s not something I’m going to do and then say goodbye the following week. It’s not fair to you or to me.” He rolled onto his back and sighed.
“What do you think we’ve been doing? Did you go to the Bill Clinton school of morality? Just because there hasn’t been penetration doesn’t mean we haven’t been having sex.” At this point, I was out of bed and tossing my clothes on. How did I get from being over-the-top excited to over-the-top pissed off? “If you think what we’ve been doing hasn’t had a deep and profound effect on me, then you’re an idiot.” I tossed my things into my bag and raced out the door.
I made it about half a block before he pulled up next to me. I continued to walk as if I didn’t see him. I was beyond pissed off at him.
“Get in the car. I’ll drive you home.” He slowly drove next to me while I ignored him. “Tilly, damn it, get in the car.” I paid him no heed. I’d heard enough. “Tilly, grow up.”
That made me stop and take note. “I was trying to grow up. I was trying to do things that would take me from being a kid into being a woman.”
“Listen to yourself. I was right to say no. Having sex doesn’t make you a grown-up. In fact, not having it shows more maturity. Suit yourself.”
He rolled up the window and took off in front of me. My hard head had gotten the better of me again. Now I was stuck with an hour-long walk ahead of me. Oh, well—it would do me good to clear my brain.
Fifteen minutes later, my dad pulled up in the cruiser.
“Hey, I heard you needed a ride. Get in.”
I opened the door and threw my bag into the back seat. I slid in the front and buckled up. I crossed my arms over my chest and hoped that my body language would speak volumes. My dad was supposed to be an expert on this stuff.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I turned my head and looked out the window. So much for my body language and my dad’s ability to read it.
“He came to the house and said he couldn’t get you in the car. He cares about you, and he didn’t want you walking home in the heat.”
“Argh, he’s driving me crazy. He protects me, he cares for me, but he won’t have sex with me.” Oh, my God, did I just blurt that out? I turned various shades of crimson as my dad laughed.
“I like that boy better each and every day. Honey, it’s not a race to the finish.” He patted me on the shoulder. My dad was not a warm and fuzzy kind of guy. So a pat on the shoulder was pretty deep for him.
“You sound just like him. Everything is messed up. I finally find someone that I really like. In fact, I’m just going to say it. I love him, and he’s going away. I’m going away. Why does life always want to throw me a curveball?” I turned toward my dad and continued, “If you say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, I swear I’ll hit you.”
“Okay, I won’t say it, but you know I’m thinking it. You and I have made it through tougher stuff than this. If it’s supposed to happen, it will happen. You can’t rush these things. I asked him to stay at the house while I picked you up. You need to work this out before he leaves.”
We pulled into the driveway, and he was leaning against the car just like he had the day he met my dad for the first time. Looking at his somber expression, I knew that I’d hurt him. It wasn’t my intention. I exited the truck and raced toward him.
“I’m sorry.” I burst into tears as I threw myself at him. I heard a grunt of discomfort as the weight of my body nearly toppled him over. Over Alex’s shoulder, I watched my dad shake his head and walk into the house.
“You don’t need to be sorry. You just need to understand that not making love to you is the hardest thing for me. I want to be selfish and take what you’re offering, but I can’t.” He covered my face with kisses.
“Is it because I’m young and stupid?” I asked
between hiccups.
He pushed my hair from my face and looked at me. “No, it’s because you’re young and you need to be certain that I’m the one. I’m your very first boyfriend. What if I’m a terrible one?”
“You’re my boyfriend?” I sucked in a breath.
“Yes, and you’ve been the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. You’re sweet and caring. You don’t care if I have a dollar or a million dollars. You’re a reader, which gets you extra points.” He laughed. “You’re sexy as hell, and I know that you will be a great lover because you dive into everything one hundred percent. Who wouldn’t love that?” He pulled me into his embrace and held me tight.
“I love so many things about you, but your restraint isn’t one of them. I understand why you’re holding back. Why do you have to be such a good guy?”
“Because my mom raised me that way. Your mom raised you a certain way as well. I see it in everything you do. The way you bake a pie, to the way you kissed those old men in the booth. She didn’t raise you to settle or to do anything halfway.”
“You’re right. Thanks for making me slow down. It’s not a race to the finish; it’s a journey to enjoy.” I’d have to repeat that to myself several hundred more times before I believed it.
“There you go.” He clipped me on the chin. “Shall we go in the house? I bet your dad is wondering what happened to us.”
We walked hand in hand into the house. In the kitchen, my dad whistled, making pancakes and bacon. I was sure he was celebrating my intact hymen.
Chapter Six
The week floated by, and Saturday—Alex’s departure day—got here way too quickly. I stood in front of my house and held back the tears that threatened to flow. His taillights faded in the distance. He’d said goodbye and the words broke my heart.
I dragged my body to my room, threw myself on my bed, and cried. I replayed the past couple of weeks in my mind and realized that Alex was right. Giving myself to him completely would have been a mistake. He preserved my heart, and although I couldn’t see what he was doing then, I saw it now. If he had made love to me, I would have been more devastated than I was now.
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