Last Chance

by Lauren Runow

  I swore I would only go to the club once to fulfill two of my checklist boxes with one stop. I have them all categorized under things like heartwarming, dreams, daring, and fantasies. The list has many boxes in each category, but only two things under fantasy. One, experience sex of the craziest kind, and two, finally be with my first crush. I don't dare have his name written because I knew Tracy would see the actual list at some point.

  "What are your intentions with my sister?" Connor asks Scott, taking me out of my lust-filled memory.

  Scott starts to answer, but Tracy cuts him off. "Connor, did you hear Mackenzie's moving back?"

  Tracy looks right at me, inclining her head toward Connor, begging me to interact with him to take the attention off Scott.

  If she only knew.

  Connor looks my way. "Yeah? Where have you been these last few years?"

  "I told you she was studying to be a lawyer, like you. Come on, Connor. Don't be a dipshit." Tracy rolls her eyes.

  I sag a little when I realize he's forgotten this simple fact about me. I finally got the nerve to call him a few years ago, when I decided I wanted to go to law school. We spoke briefly, he answered all the questions I had, but it never turned into anything more than that.

  I don't know why I had this delusion he'd ask me to talk about it over dinner, and we'd head back to his place, where he would seduce me, like he always wanted to, but that never happened.

  Sadly, my dreams were cut very short when he was cordial but treated me like his little sister’s best friend. He even stated at one point he was shocked I was old enough to be applying to law school. He's only four years older than us.

  To a normal person, those four years are nothing, but to him, they’re engraved in his brain that I’m the same age as his little sister.

  "Did you finish early?" Connor asks.

  I glance at Tracy, who mouths sorry in my direction. After taking a deep breath, I tell the same lie I’ve told everyone else. "I'm taking a year off." I shrug like it's no big deal and hope it stays at that.

  "Why would you do that?" he asks, obviously confused.

  My lips tilt to a small smile that I quickly recover from. At least he remembered talking to me. "Things change." I try to shrug it off like it's no big deal.

  "Wow." His eyebrows rise in surprise. "Never would have thought you’d be one to take time off. When we spoke last time, you were so driven, so sure it was exactly what you wanted to do."

  I give Tracy the same help me look she gave me a few minutes ago.

  "What's going on at your firm nowadays?" she asks, changing the subject once again.

  "Crazy ass shit at every turn. They keep me busy, that's for sure.”

  He stretches and I can't help but notice the way his arms flex to show his lean, muscular form. He rubs his eyes like he's exhausted and this is his first reaction anytime work is brought up before letting out a long sigh.

  "Do you even have a life?" Tracy asks. "Work isn't everything, you know."

  He runs his hands through his hair, making the short, dark brown, locks even more sexy. Not answering her question though.

  "You know I couldn’t care less, but Mom's constantly saying she wants you to settle down. I mean, have you had a girlfriend even somewhat recently?"

  My breath hitches. This is not something I want to hear about. I had to endure him dating who everyone thought was the one for years. They started dating his senior year, and she was at their house every day. Through his college years, I thought my dreams were completely shattered, and he was going to propose until he walked in on her with someone from her work.

  That's when the shit hit the fan and he took off, moving to San Francisco and hardly ever came back home.

  He lets out a little sigh that's almost unnoticeable, but I was staring at him, holding my breath while waiting for his reply.

  He shrugs but I can tell it’s not as easy as he’s making it sound. "I almost did. At least I thought things were moving in that direction."

  My heart aches at his admission and the sadness on his face.

  He blows it off. "Wasn't meant to be, though."

  "That's it? Just wasn't meant to be? Did you even try with her?" Tracy asks, deflated by her brother’s attitude.

  A sharp laugh escapes him. "Believe me, I tried. More than I should have, probably. You know my friend, Alan?"

  "The doctor, right?"

  "Yup. Well, let's just say she chose him."

  The thought of anyone choosing someone over Connor makes me want to slap her silly for hurting him, but I also want to hug her for allowing me to keep my hopes up.

  "Was she seeing you both?"

  He laughs under his breath. "It's complicated. Just leave it at that."

  3

  Mackenzie

  "What's your plan while you're home, Mackenzie? Are you going to stay here in town?" Nancy, Tracy and Connor's mom, asks as we all sit around the dinner table, half finished with our food.

  No one knows why I'm really home except my family and Tracy, and I want to keep it that way. Even though Nancy has always treated me like family, there's no need for them to be that involved in my life.

  "I'm still feeling out my options, but I might move to San Francisco if everything pans out," I answer, trying my hardest not to look in Connor's direction.

  "That would be fun. I'm sure Connor could help you research a place." She smiles fondly at her son.

  "Yeah, no problem. Do you want a roommate situation or a place of your own?" Connor asks, not skipping a beat.

  "Probably roommate. I hear it's pretty expensive," I reply, trying to act unfazed by him offering to help me.

  He laughs. "Expensive is the understatement of the year, but I was talking to a few girls who live below me the other day. They mentioned their roommate was moving out, and they were looking for a new one. Maybe I can ask them?"

  "Who are these girls you mention?" his mom asks, hopeful for news of him finding a girlfriend.

  "Come on, Mom. They're Mackenzie's age. Not my thing," he states matter-of-fact, crushing my heart in one breath.

  She hits his hand. "Now stop. That's only four years younger. Your father and I are three years apart. There’s nothing that says you can’t date a younger girl."

  "I get around girls her age, think of Tracy, and nope, can't do it," he says, sticking a forkful of food in his mouth.

  When he looks up, our eyes meet, and I swear it's more than the normal friendly glance. He actually stops mid-chew before slightly shaking his head and turning it back to his food.

  "Well, either way, it would be nice if you could get her a place close to you. You've always been like a brother to her, and I'm sure a girl could use all the protection she can get in a big city like that," Nancy says, crushing my soul again.

  He's never been like a big brother to me. He's been everything but that. He's been the standard I've held every guy I've ever dated up to, each one of them falling short. I search for that feeling I got when he offered to share his Twix bar with me.

  My parents allowed me to go home with Tracy tonight after our dance recital. I was a nervous wreck having Connor in the audience the entire time. My eyes were glued to him and at one point he looked directly at me. Like the ditz I am, I tripped and almost fell on my butt. Thank God I was able to keep my balance and move on, but the smirk that covered his face told me all too well that he noticed.

  Now that we’re back in her room, I keep kicking myself for not being able to keep my head on straight during the performance.

  “We’re putting on the movie Scream if you guys want to watch it?” Connor asks from the door of Tracy’s room.

  Like always, my breath hitches and my nerves take over. Thankfully, Tracy answers for the both of us. “Sure, I’ll make the popcorn.”

  The two siblings still fight but it’s definitely calmed down once we entered junior high. This is the first time he’s invited us to watch a movie with him though.

  I curl up in the
corner of the couch and Connor sits on the other side with Tracy in the recliner and his friend on the floor. My heart pounds out of control. It takes all my power to focus on calming it without looking like I’m hyperventilating.

  “Here, do you want the other half of this Twix bar?” Connor turns to ask me.

  Pure joy fills my heart and for once I’m able to act like a normal human being when I respond, “Sure, thank you.”

  Connor breaks my thoughts when he says, "I'll ask. Then I'll let Tracy know if they have a spot, and I'll give their info to her so you can call them."

  Wow, not even a let me get your number. No. He'll relay a message. Ugh.

  I try to hide my defeat over the situation. "I'd appreciate it," I say, paying more attention to my food, though my appetite is completely gone.

  "Didn't you go to the city yesterday?" Tracy asks, and I instantly turn my head in surprise. "Were you looking for places then?"

  I didn't tell her why I was going. I just sent a text, saying I was heading to the city when she asked what my plans were for the night.

  "Um, no. I went to a club," I state, trying to blow the subject off.

  "You went to a club without me?" she huffs.

  "I, um, I'm sorry. I thought you were with Scott last night."

  "Hello. That's why I was texting you. He had to work. Next time you go, I want to go too," Tracy declares.

  I bite my lip when my eyes meet with Connor who’s squinting at me again.

  "Which club did you go to?" he asks, making my heart beat faster.

  "Um. I forget the name. It was—"

  "Where was it located?"

  I think he's catching on, but his expression isn't giving anything away. If he knows it was me he was with last night, that's definitely not the reaction I was hoping for.

  I decide it's now or never. I'd rather him find out like this, with people around, so the idea can sink in when everyone is with us. This way, if he's pissed, it will give him a chance to calm down.

  I take a deep breath and answer, "I think it's called Last Chance."

  His eyes widen, and I know he’s made the connection. Visions of him inside me last night flash through my head, and I hope he's remembering the same thing. Luck doesn’t seem to be on my side as I watch red creep up his face.

  We stare at each other, daring the other to blink or move away first, but I'm stone cold and too terrified by my admission to do anything other than hold my breath.

  "I've never heard of the place," Tracy butts in, breaking our trance.

  He drops his fork to his plate, leaning back in his chair to rub his eyes. My head falls forward, as I pretend to fold the napkin in my lap, totally deflated.

  "Have you been there, Connor?" Tracy asks.

  Connor looks straight at me. "No. No, I haven't."

  I can't take it anymore. I push away from the table, excusing myself as his mom asks Scott a question I don't hear.

  When I return, Connor's standing by the front door.

  "Are you sure you have to leave so quickly? I thought you would hang out for awhile," Nancy whines.

  "Sorry. I thought I was going to, but something's come up, and I have to head back." He gives her a hug and looks up to see me apprehensively standing there.

  I still can't read his expression. He doesn't look pissed anymore, thank God, but his face hides all emotion.

  Nancy hugs him tighter, thinking he's staying there longer for her benefit when really he's stuck in a staring contest with me.

  "You're so lame," Tracy says as she hugs him in turn.

  He says nothing. Just says goodbye to his dad and leaves without a word to Scott or me.

  4

  Mackenzie

  I swore when I entered the members only club for the first time, I would only be there once. My goal was to check the box for crazy sex and prayed I could mark off the box about my crush at the same time. After last night though, and the way he left so fast once he realized it was me, I was left a tangled mess of nerves. I had to know why he reacted the way he did.

  I haven’t felt this dejected since he started bringing his ex-girlfriend home.

  Tracy and I have a school project we're working on that we have to finish before our dance lessons. Since her house is closer to school we walked there. When we open, the door my heart instantly sinks to the floor when we find Connor kissing his new girlfriend on their living room couch.

  They both jump up, rushing to different sides as Tracy announces, “Ew, get a room.”

  I look at the girl, more jealous of her than I’ve ever been of anyone. Torn, I turn to Tracy’s room before I completely break down from a broken heart.

  So here I am, looking around for his car in front of the club. I’ve never been to his place, and I can’t ask his sister for his number, so I was hoping to find him here. After waiting awhile, I conclude he’s not going to show. I contemplate not going in at all, but I drove all this way. Even if I only watch tonight, the entire point was to live life more, so why not?

  Leaving the safety of my car, I walk down the dark alley. It takes a minute, but I'm granted access, and I slip a simple black mask over my face—the only dress code—and enter.

  The last time I entered, I was a bundle of nerves, not sure if Connor was there or how this all would go down. Knowing he's not here now calms me, and a part of me comes alive as I turn the corner, only to be greeted by a threesome already in progress.

  I bite back a laugh at the thought of being at a place like this and approach the bar. A drink will help get me more in the mood.

  I'm not there long when a guy joins me. "You're new," he says, brushing long brown hair off my shoulder.

  From what I can tell, he's pretty cute. His complexion's dark, definitely from his nationality rather than a tan, but in this light I can't quite make out where he’s from.

  I pick up my drink, twirling the straw before taking a playful sip. "I take it you come here often then?"

  He sits next to me. "Why would you ask that?"

  "Well, if you're not here every day, how would you know if I'm new or not?"

  He smirks. "Touché. I don't come as often as I’d like. I'm a pilot, and I travel a lot."

  "Wow, isn't this supposed to be anonymous? Isn't telling me what you do a little too TMI for this place?"

  "Not if it turns you on, which normally it does."

  I laugh at the cockiness of this guy, but before I can respond, a hand wraps around my arm and yanks me away from him.

  "Sorry, man, not tonight," I hear someone say.

  Once I get my bearings, I realize Connor’s literally trying to drag me out the door.

  I stop him short, jerking my hand from his grip. "What do you think you're doing?" I whisper-shout at him, trying not to bring any more attention to us than there already is.

  "You don't belong here," he growls through clenched teeth.

  "You didn't think that the other night."

  "That was before I knew it was you."

  Ouch. "So now that you know it’s me, I can't be here? That makes no sense.”

  “I don’t care what you think.”

  "Excuse me?"

  "You. Can't. Be. Here," he repeats slowly.

  "Last I checked, this was a free country, and I went through hell to find this club and become a member, so you can get off your power trip, because yes, I can be here."

  I pivot to return to the bar, but he stops me again.

  "Why are you here?" He glares at me, demanding an answer.

  "I could ask you the same question," I fight back.

  "That's different. I'm a guy. This is what we do."

  I let out a loud laugh. "Did you really just say that? Because I'm pretty sure you need a girl to do these things with. I don't think this is the kind of club where you don't."

  "You know what I mean." He gnashes his teeth; frustrated I'm not falling in line with his demands.

  "Actually I don't. Explain it to me." I cross my arms, plumping my breast
s, making him stare directly at them. I laugh. "My eyes are up here, by the way."

  He closes his eyes; obviously pissed he got caught looking. "That's why!" he whisper-shouts. "This is not okay. You're my little sister's best friend."

  "So?"

  He’s shocked I'm demanding more of an explanation. "That's all the reason I need. You're like a sister to me."

  I have to hold back my anger. I can't believe he went there. "You sure didn't think that last time."

  "That was a mistake," he grunts. "Wait. I call bullshit. Did you know it was me?"

  I step back, not sure how to answer. He reaches out, pulling me into him.

  "You knew it was me, didn't you?"

  I bite my inner lip, knowing there's no way out of this. I tilt my head down, nodding.

  His lifts my chin so I meet his eyes. "How did you know I'd be here? I get the feeling this isn't a coincidence."

  I shake my head.

  "Are you saying no, it's not a coincidence, or no, you're not going to tell me?"

  I take in a shaky breath. "It's not a coincidence."

  "How did you know?"

  "Tracy told me."

  His hand goes limp, and the skin around his mask pales.

  "How does she know? Holy fuck, please tell me she's not going to join."

  I push him back. "Wow, double standards much?"

  He pulls me back into him. "Very much so, especially when it comes to my little sister and her best friend."

  "Well, your little sister isn't so innocent. She dated Derek, or should I say, she fucked Derek."

  I see the anger in his eyes, and I'm not going to lie. It makes me happy to see him upset as me. Derek was Connor's best friend growing up. I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind.

  "She put an end to it when she met Scott, telling him you'd never approve. He tried to rebut that by saying you wouldn't care, and you belonged to a members only sex club, so you wouldn't have a leg to stand on anyway."

  "I'm going to kill him," he grunts.

  "Okay then, go kill him. Bye-bye." I try to make a getaway but he stops me again.