MR. LINDQUIST (Sings):
Remember?
MRS. NORDSTROM (Sings):
Remember?
(MR. LINDQUIST and MRS. NORDSTROM leave the stage box) The old deserted beach that we walked —Remember?
MR. LINDQUIST:
Remember?
The café in the park where we talked —
Remember?
MRS. NORDSTROM:
Remember?
MR. LINDQUIST:
The tenor on the boat that we chartered,
Belching “The Bartered
Bride” —
BOTH:
Ah, how we laughed,
Ah, how we cried.
MR. LINDQUIST:
Ah, how you promised and
Ah, how I lied.
MRS. NORDSTROM:
That dilapidated inn —
Remember, darling?
MR. LINDQUIST:
The proprietress’s grin,
Also her glare...
MRS. NORDSTROM:
Yellow gingham on the bed —
Remember, darling?
MR. LINDQUIST:
And the canopy in red,
Needing repair?
BOTH:
I think you were there.
(They return to the stage box and the action continues)
ANNE (Fierce, to FREDRIK): She looked at us. Why did she look at us?
DESIRÉE (To SECOND LADY): Dear Madame Merville, what a charming mischance to find you here this evening.
FREDRIK: I don’t think she looked especially at us.
ANNE: SECOND LADY:
She did! She peered, then she smiled. Charming, indeed, dear Celimène.
SECOND LADY: May I be permitted to present my school friend from the provinces? Madame Vilmorac — whose husband, I’m sure, is in dire need of a little expert polishing.
FIRST LADY: Oh, dear Countess, you are all but a legend to me. I implore you to reveal to me the secret of your success with the hardier sex!
ANNE: She smiled at us!
(Grabs FREDRIK’s opera glasses and studies the stage)
DESIRÉE: Dear Madame, that can be summed up in a single word —
ANNE: She’s ravishingly beautiful.
FREDRIK: Make-up.
DESIRÉE: — dignity.
TWO LADIES: Dignity?
ANNE (Turning on FREDRIK) : How can you be sure — if you’ve never seen her?
FREDRIK: Hush!
DESIRÉE (Playing her first-act set speech): Dignity. We women have a right to commit any crime toward our husbands, our lovers, our sons, as long as we do not hurt their dignity. We should make men’s dignity our best ally and caress it, cradle it, speak tenderly to it, and handle it as our most delightful toy. Then a man is in our hands, at our feet, or anywhere else we momentarily wish him to be.
ANNE (Sobbing): FREDRIK:
I want to go home! Anne!
ANNE: I want to go home!
FREDRIK: Anne!
(She runs off, FREDRIK following)
Scene 3
THE EGERMAN ROOMS
In the parlor, PETRA, lying on the couch, is calmly rearranging her blouse. HENRIK, in a storm of tension, is pulling on his trousers. On the floor beside them is a bottle of champagne and two glasses.
HENRIK: We have sinned, and it was a complete failure!
(Struggling with his fly buttons)
These buttons, these insufferable buttons!
PETRA: Here, dear, let me.
(She crosses, kneels in front of him, and starts to do up the fly buttons)
Don’t you worry, little Henrik. Just let it rest a while.
(She pats his fly)
There. Now you put on your sweater and do a nice little quiet bit of reading.
(She gets his sweater from the back of a chair and helps him into it. ANNE enters, still crying. She sees HENRIK and PETRA, lets out a sob, and runs into the bedroom. FREDRIK enters. Perfectly calm, to FREDRIK)
My, that was a short play.
FREDRIK: My wife became ill; I had to bring her home.
(He gives HENRIK a look, sizing up the situation approvingly, before following ANNE into the bedroom)
Anne!
(HENRIK starts again toward PETRA, who avoids him)
PETRA: No, lamb. I told you. Give it a nice rest and you’ll be surprised how perky it’ll be by morning.
(She wiggles her way out. FREDRIK has now entered the bedroom; ANNE is no longer visible — as if she had moved into an inner room. In the parlor, HENRIK picks up the champagne bottle and glasses and puts them on the table)
ANNE (Off, calling): Fredrik!
FREDRIK: Yes, dear.
ANNE: Did you have many women between your first wife and me? Sometimes when I think of what memories you have, I vanish inside.
FREDRIK: Before I met you I was quite a different man. Many things were different. Better?
(ANNE comes back into the bedroom)
Worse? Different, anyway.
ANNE: Do you remember when I was a little girl and you came to my father’s house for dinner and told me fairy tales? Do you remember?
FREDRIK: Yes, I remember.
ANNE (Sitting on FREDRIK’s lap): Then you were “Uncle Fredrik” and now you’re my husband. Isn’t that amusing? You were so lonely and sad that summer. I felt terribly sorry for you, so I said: “Poor thing, I’ll marry him.” Are you coming to bed yet?
FREDRIK: Not just yet. I think I’ll go for a breath of fresh air.
ANNE: That wasn’t an amusing play, was it?
FREDRIK: We didn’t see that much of it.
ANNE: I wonder how old that Armfeldt woman can be. At least fifty — don’t you think?
FREDRIK: I wouldn’t say that old.
ANNE: Well, goodnight.
FREDRIK: Goodnight.
(As FREDRIK moves into the parlor, MR. LINDQUIST and MRS. NORDSTROM appear. There is a musical sting and FREDRIK and HENRIK freeze)
MRS. NORDSTROM (Sings):
Remember?
MR. LINDQUIST (Sings):
Remember?
BOTH:
Remember?
Remember?
(FREDRIK unfreezes, clasps his hands together and goes into the parlor. HENRIK looks anxiously at his father)
HENRIK: Is she all right now?
FREDRIK: Oh yes, she’s all right.
HENRIK: It wasn’t anything serious?
FREDRIK: No, nothing serious.
HENRIK: You don’t think — a doctor? I mean, it would be terrible if it was something — serious.
FREDRIK: Pray for her, son. Correction — pray for me. Goodnight.
HENRIK: Goodnight, father.
(FREDRIK exits, and MRS. NORDSTROM and MR. LINDQUIST sweep downstage)
MRS. NORDSTROM (Sings):
The local village dance on the green —
Remember?
MR. LINDQUIST (Sings):
Remember?
The lady with the large tambourine —
Remember?
MRS. NORDSTROM:
Remember?
The one who played the harp in her boa
Thought she was so a-
Dept.
BOTH:
Ah, how we laughed,
Ah, how we wept.
Ah, how we polka’d
MRS. NORDSTROM:
And ah, how we slept.
How we kissed and how we clung —
Remember, darling?
MR. LINDQUIST:
We were foolish, we were young —
BOTH:
More than we knew.
MRS. NORDSTROM:
Yellow gingham on the bed,
Remember, darling?
And the canopy in red —
MR. LINDQUIST:
Or was it blue?
(MRS. NORDSTROM and MR. LINDQUIST are joined by MRS. SEGSTROM, MRS. ANDERSSEN and MR. ERLANSON, who appear downstage)
MRS. SEGSTROM:
The funny little games that we p
layed —
Remember?
MR. ERLANSON:
Remember?
The unexpected knock of the maid —
Remember?
MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Remember?
The wine that made us both rather merry
And, oh, so very
Frank —
ALL:
Ah, how we laughed.
Ah, how we drank.
MR. ERLANSON:
You acquiesced
MRS. ANDERSSEN:
And the rest is a blank.
MR. LINDQUIST:
What we did with your perfume—
MR. ERLANSON:
Remember, darling?
MRS. SEGSTROM:
The condition of the room
When we were through . . .
MRS. NORDSTROM:
Our inventions were unique —
Remember, darling?
MR. LINDQUIST:
I was limping for a week,
You caught the flu ...
ALL:
I’m sure it was —
You.
(They drift off as DESIRÉE’s digs come on)
Scene 4
DESIRÉE’S DIGS
FREDRIK walks on, as DESIRÉE, in a robe, enters, munching a sandwich and carrying a glass of beer.
FREDRIK: They told me where to find you at the theater.
DESIRÉE: Fredrik!
FREDRIK: Hello, Desirée.
(For a moment they gaze at each other)
DESIRÉE: So it was you! I peered and peered and said: “Is it . . . ? Can it be . . . ? Is it possible?” And then, of course, when you walked out after five minutes, I was sure.
FREDRIK: Was my record that bad?
DESIRÉE: Terrible. You walked out on my Hedda in Halsingborg. And on my sensational Phaedra in Ekilstuna.
FREDRIK (Standing, looking at her): Fourteen years!
DESIRÉE: Fourteen years!
FREDRIK: No rancor?
DESIRÉE: Rancor? For a while, a little. But now — no rancor, not a trace.
(Indicating a plate of sandwiches)
Sandwich?
FREDRIK (Declining): Hungry as ever after a performance, I see.
DESIRÉE: Worse. I’m a wolf. Sit down.
(Pouring him a glass of schnapps)
Here. You never said no to schnapps.
(FREDRIK sits down on the love seat. She stands, looking at him)
FREDRIK: About this walking out! I’d like to explain.
DESIRÉE: The girl in the pink dress, I imagine.
FREDRIK: You still don’t miss a thing, do you?
DESIRÉE: Your wife.
FREDRIK: For the past eleven months. She was so looking forward to the play, she got a little overexcited. She’s only eighteen, still almost a child.
(A pause)
I’m waiting.
DESIRÉE: For what?
FREDRIK: For you to tell me what an old fool I’ve become to have fallen under the spell of youth, beginnings, the blank page.
(Very coolly, DESIRÉE opens the robe, revealing her naked body to him)
DESIRÉE: The page that has been written on — and rewritten.
FREDRIK (Looking, admiring): With great style. Some things — schnapps, for example — improve with age.
DESIRÉE: Let us hope that proves true of your little bride.
(She closes the wrapper and stands, still very cool, looking at him)
So you took her home and tucked her up in her cot with her rattle and her woolly penguin.
FREDRIK: Figuratively speaking.
DESIRÉE: And then you came to me.
FREDRIK: I wish you’d ask me why.
DESIRÉE (Dead pan): Why did you come to me?
FREDRIK: For old times’ sake? For curiosity? To boast about my wife? To complain about her? Perhaps — Hell, why am I being such a lawyer about it?
(Pause)
This afternoon when I was taking my nap . . .
DESIRÉE: So you take afternoon naps now!
FREDRIK: Hush! ... I had the most delightful dream.
DESIRÉE: About . . . ?
FREDRIK: ... you.
DESIRÉE: Ah! What did we do?
FREDRIK: Well, as a matter of fact, we were in that little hotel in Malmö. We’d been basking in the sun all day.
DESIRÉE (Suddenly picking it up): When my back got so burned it was an agony to lie down so you . . . ?
FREDRIK: As vivid as ... Well, very vivid! So you see. My motives for coming here are what might be called — mixed.
(DESIRÉE suddenly bursts into laughter. Tentative)
Funny?
DESIRÉE (Suddenly controlling the laughter, very mock solemn):
No. Not at all.
(There is a pause, distinctly charged with unadmitted sex)
FREDRIK (Looking around, slightly uncomfortable): How familiar all this is.
DESIRÉE: Oh yes, nothing’s changed. Uppsala one week.
Orebro the next. The same old inevitable routine.
FREDRIK: But it still has its compensations?
DESIRÉE: Yes — no — no — yes.
FREDRIK: That’s a rather ambiguous answer.
(Pause)
You must, at least at times, be lonely.
DESIRÉE (Smiling): Dear Fredrik, if you’re inquiring about my love life, rest assured. It’s quite satisfactory.
FREDRIK: I see. And — if I may ask — at the moment?
DESIRÉE: A dragoon. A very handsome, very married dragoon with, I’m afraid, the vanity of a peacock, the brain of a pea, but the physical proportions . . .
FREDRIK: Don’t specify the vegetable, please. I am easily deflated.
(They both burst into spontaneous laughter)
Oh, Desirée!
DESIRÉE: Fredrik!
(Another charged pause. FREDRIK tries again)
FREDRIK: Desirée, I . . .
DESIRÉE: Yes, dear?
FREDRIK: I — er ... That is ...
(Loses his nerve again)
Perhaps a little more schnapps?
DESIRÉE: Help yourself.
(FREDRIK crosses to the writing desk, where, next to the schnapps, is a framed photograph of FREDRIKA. He notices it)
FREDRIK: Who’s this?
DESIRÉE (Suddenly rather awkward): That? Oh — my daughter.
FREDRIK: Your daughter? I had no idea . . .
DESIRÉE: She happened.
FREDRIK: She’s charming. Where is she now?
DESIRÉE: She’s with my mother in the country. She used to tour with me, and then one day Mother swept up like the Wrath of God and saved her from me — You never knew my mother! She always wins our battles.
(Wanting to get off the subject)
I think perhaps a little schnapps for me too.
FREDRIK: Oh yes, of course.
(FREDRIK pours a second schnapps. The charged pause again)
DESIRÉE (Indicating the room): I apologize for all this squalor!
FREDRIK: On the contrary, I have always associated you very happily with — chaos.
(Pause)
So.
DESIRÉE: So.
FREDRIK (Artificially bright): Well, I think it’s time to talk about my wife, don’t you?
DESIRÉE: Boast or complain?
FREDRIK: Both, I expect.
(Sings)
She lightens my sadness,
She livens my days,
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well-ordered ways.
My happiest mistake,
The ache of my life:
You must meet my wife.
She bubbles with pleasure,
She glows with surprise,
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties.
I don’t know even now
Quite how it began.
You must meet my wife, my Anne.
One thousand whims to which I give in,
Since her sma
llest tear turns me ashen.
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented,
Contented
A fashion.
So sunlike, so winning,
So unlike a wife.
I do think that I’m beginning
To show signs of life.
Don’t ask me how at my age
One still can grow —
If you met my wife,
You’d know.
DESIRÉE: Dear Fredrik, I’m just longing to meet her. Sometime.
FREDRIK:
She sparkles.
DESIRÉE:
How pleasant.
FREDRIK:
She twinkles.
DESIRÉE:
How nice.
FREDRIK:
Her youth is a sort of present —
DESIRÉE:
Whatever the price.
FREDRIK:
The incandescent — what? — the —
DESIRÉE (Proffering a cigarette):
Light?
FREDRIK (Lighting it):
— Of my life!
You must meet my wife.
DESIRÉE:
Yes, I must, I really must. Now —
FREDRIK:
She flutters.
DESIRÉE:
How charming.
FREDRIK:
She twitters.
DESIRÉE:
My word!
FREDRIK:
She floats.
DESIRÉE:
Isn’t that alarming?
What is she, a bird?
FREDRIK:
She makes me feel I’m — what? —
Four by Sondheim Page 15