Four by Sondheim

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Four by Sondheim Page 18

by Stephen Sondheim

CHARLOTTE:

  A weekend in the country...

  ANNE:

  But it’s frightful!

  CHARLOTTE:

  No, you don’t understand.

  A weekend in the country

  Is delightful

  If it’s planned.

  Wear your hair down

  And a flower,

  Don’t use make-up,

  Dress in white.

  She’ll grow older

  By the hour

  And be hopelessly shattered by

  Saturday night.

  Spend a weekend in the country.

  ANNE:

  We’ll accept it!

  CHARLOTTE:

  I’d a feeling

  You would.

  BOTH:

  A weekend in the country!

  ANNE:

  Yes, it’s only polite that we should.

  CHARLOTTE:

  Good.

  (ANNE and CHARLOTTE disappear DESIRÉE and FREDRIKA unfreeze)

  FREDRIKA: Count Malcolm’s insanely jealous, isn’t he? You don’t suppose he’ll come galloping up on a black stallion, brandishing a sword?

  DESIRÉE: Oh dear, I hadn’t thought of that. But no, no, thank heavens. It’s his wife’s birthday this weekend —sacred to domesticity. At least we’re safe from him.

  (They freeze. CARL-MAGNUS enters; CHARLOTTE follows opposite to meet him)

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Well?

  CHARLOTTE:

  I’ve an intriguing little social item.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  What?

  CHARLOTTE:

  Out at the Armfeldt family manse.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Well, what?

  CHARLOTTE:

  Merely a weekend,

  Still I thought it might am-

  Use you to know who’s invited to go,

  This time with his pants.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  You don’t mean — ?

  CHARLOTTE:

  I’ll give you three guesses.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  She wouldn’t!

  CHARLOTTE:

  Reduce it to two.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  It can’t be ...

  CHARLOTTE:

  It nevertheless is ...

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Egerman!

  CHARLOTTE:

  Right! Score one for you.

  CARL-MAGNUS (Triumphantly):

  Aha!

  CHARLOTTE (Triumphantly):

  Aha!

  CARL-MAGNUS (Thoughtfully):

  Aha!

  CHARLOTTE (Worriedly):

  Aha?

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  A weekend in the country ...

  We should try it —

  CHARLOTTE:

  How I wish we’d been asked.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  A weekend in the country ...

  Peace and quiet —

  CHARLOTTE:

  We’ll go masked.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  A weekend in the country ...

  CHARLOTTE:

  Uninvited —

  They’ll consider it odd.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  A weekend in the country —

  I’m delighted!

  CHARLOTTE:

  Oh, my God.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  And the shooting should be pleasant

  If the weather’s not too rough.

  Happy Birthday,

  It’s your present.

  CHARLOTTE:

  But —

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  You haven’t been getting out nearly enough,

  And a weekend in the country —

  CHARLOTTE:

  It’s perverted!

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Pack my quiver and bow.

  BOTH:

  A weekend in the country —

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  At exactly 2:30, we go.

  CHARLOTTE:

  We can’t.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  We shall.

  CHARLOTTE:

  We shan’t.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  I’m getting the car

  And we’re motoring down.

  CHARLOTTE:

  Yes, I’m certain you are

  And I’m staying in town.

  (ANNE, FREDRIK, and PETRA appear)

  CARL-MAGNUS: ANNE:

  Go and pack my suits! We’ll go.

  CHARLOTTE: PETRA:

  I won’t! Oh, good!

  CARL-MAGNUS: FREDRIK:

  My boots! We will?

  Pack everything I own

  That shoots. ANNE:

  We should.

  Pack everything white.

  CHARLOTTE:

  No! PETRA:

  Ma’am, it’s wonderful news!

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Charlotte! FREDRIK:

  Are you sure it’s all right?

  CHARLOTTE:

  I’m thinking it out. ANNE:

  We’d be rude to refuse.

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Charlotte! FREDRIK:

  Then we’re off!

  CHARLOTTE:

  There’s no need to shout. PETRA:

  We are?

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Charlotte! FREDRIK:

  We’ll take the car.

  CHARLOTTE:

  All right, then, ALL THREE:

  We’ll bring champagne

  BOTH: And caviar!

  We’re off on our way, We’re off on our way,

  What a beautiful day What a beautiful day

  For For

  ALL:

  A weekend in the country,

  How amusing,

  How delightfully droll.

  A weekend in the country

  While we’re losing our control.

  A weekend in the country,

  How enchanting

  On the manicured lawns.

  A weekend in the country,

  With the panting and the yawns.

  With the crickets and the pheasants

  And the orchards and the hay,

  With the servants and the peasants,

  We’ll be laying our plans

  While we’re playing croquet

  For a weekend in the country,

  So inactive that one has to lie down.

  A weekend in the country

  Where ...

  (HENRIK enters)

  HENRIK:

  A weekend in the country,

  The bees in their hives,

  The shallow, worldly figures,

  The frivolous lives.

  The devil’s companions

  Know not whom they serve.

  It might be instructive

  To observe.

  (DESIRÉE and FREDRIKA unfreeze)

  DESIRÉE: However, there is one tiny snag.

  FREDRIKA: A snag?

  DESIRÉE: Lawyer Egerman is married.

  FREDRIKA: That could be considered a snag.

  DESIRÉE: Don’t worry, my darling. I was not raised by your Grandmother for nothing.

  DESIRÉE holds out her arm, and FREDRIKA runs to her. Together, they walk upstage as we see, for the first time, the facade of the Armfeldt mansion. FRID stands at the door, and once DESIRÉE and FREDRIKA have entered, he closes it behind them)

  CARL-MAGNUS: FREDRIK: HENRIK:

  Charlotte! We’re off! A weekend in the

  Country,

  The bees in their

  CHARLOTTE: Hives ...

  I’m thinking it out. PETRA:

  We are?

  CARL-MAGNUS:

  Charlotte! FREDRIK and ANNE:

  We’ll take the car.

  CHARLOTTE: MRS. SEGSTROM and

  There’s no need ALL THREE: MRS. ANDERSSEN:

  To shout. We’ll bring We’re off! We are?

  Champagne and We’ll take the car.

  Caviar!

  MRS. NORDSTROM MRS. ANDERSSEN and

  and MR. ER
LANSON: MR. LINDQUIST: MRS. SEGSTROM:

  A weekend of playing Confiding our motives We’ll

  Croquet Bring

  A weekend of strolling And hiding our yawns, Champagne

  The lawns, And caviar!

  CARL-MAGNUS, CHARLOTTE,

  FREDRIK, ANNE, and PETRA: QUINTET:

  We’re off and away, What a beautiful day! The weather is spectacular!

  ALL:

  With riotous laughter

  We quietly suffer

  The season in town,

  Which is reason enough for

  A weekend in the country,

  How amusing,

  How delightfully droll!

  A weekend in the country,

  While we’re losing our control.

  A weekend in the country,

  How enchanting

  On the manicured lawns.

  A weekend in the country,

  With the panting and the yawns.

  With the crickets and the pheasants

  And the orchards and the hay,

  With the servants and the peasants,

  We’ll be laying our plans

  While we’re playing croquet

  For a weekend in the country,

  So inactive that one has to lie down.

  A weekend in the country

  Where...

  We’re twice as upset as in

  Twice as upset as in

  Twice as upset as in

  Twice as upset as in ...

  (All, simultaneously)

  QUINTET:

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in,

  Twice as upset as in —

  ANNE: FREDRIK:

  Twice as upset as in town. Twice as upset ...

  A weekend! Are you sure you want to go?

  A weekend! Are you sure you want to go?

  A weekend! Are you sure you want to go

  A weekend! Away and leave,

  A weekend! Go and leave — ?

  A weekend out of —

  CHARLOTTE: CARL-MAGNUS:

  Twice as upset ... Twice as upset...

  We’re uninvited, Charlotte, we’re going,

  Uninvited, Charlotte, we’re going,

  Uninvited — Charlotte, we’re going,

  We should stay in — Charlotte, out of —

  PETRA: HENRIK:

  Twice as upset ... Shallow, worldly

  A weekend! People going,

  A weekend! Shallow people

  A weekend! Going out of —

  A weekend!

  A weekend!

  A weekend!

  A weekend out of —

  ALL:

  Town!

  (Curtain)

  Glynis Johns as Desirée Armfeldt

  Victoria Mallory as Anne Egerman

  Frid (George Lee Andrews), Fredrika Armfeldt (Judy Kahan) and Madame Armfeldt (Hermione Gingold)

  “Later”

  Henrik Egerman (Mark Lambert)

  “Now”

  Fredrik (Len Cariou) and Anne (Victoria Mallory)

  Len Cariou as Fredrik Egerman

  “In Praise of Women” Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm (Laurence Guittard) and Desirée (Glynis Johns)

  “Every Day a Little Death” Countess Charlotte Malcolm (Patricia Elliot) and Anne (Victoria Mallory)

  “Liaisons”

  Madame Armfeldt (Hermione Gingold)

  Desirée (Glynis Johns) and Fredrik (Len Cariou)

  New York City Opera Production

  Regina Resnik as Madame Armfeldt

  Sally Ann Howes as Desirée Armfeldt

  George Lee Andrews as Fredrik Egerman and Michael Maguire as Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm

  Jean Simmons as Desirée Armfeldt

  Fredrik Egerman (Joss Ackland), Desirée Armfeldt (Jean Simmons), Anne Egerman (Veronica Page), Madame Armfeldt (Hermione Gingold), Henrik Egerman (Terry Mitchell), Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm (David Kernan) and Countess Charlotte Malcolm (Maria Aitken)

  ACT II

  Entr’acte

  After a musical entr’acte, the QUINTET enters.

  MRS. ANDERSSEN:

  The sun sits low,

  Diffusing its usual glow.

  Five o‘clock ...

  Twilight ...

  Vespers sound,

  And it’s six o’clock ...

  Twilight

  All around,

  ALL:

  But the sun sits low,

  As low as it’s going to go.

  MR. ERLANSON:

  Eight o’clock ...

  MR. LINDQUIST:

  Twilight...

  WOMEN:

  How enthralling!

  MR. ERLANSON:

  It’s nine o’clock ...

  MR. LINDQUIST :

  Twilight ...

  WOMEN:

  Slowly crawling

  Towards

  MR. ERLANSON :

  Ten o’clock ...

  MR. LINDQUIST:

  Twilight ...

  WOMEN:

  Crickets calling,

  ALL:

  The vespers ring,

  The nightingale’s waiting to sing.

  The rest of us wait on a string.

  Perpetual sunset

  Is rather an unset-

  Tling thing.

  (The show curtain rises on Scene 1)

  Scene 1

  THE ARMFELDT LAWN

  FRID is serving champagne to DESIRÉE and MALLA. FREDRIKA, upstage, is playing croquet with the help of BERTRAND, MADAME ARMFELDT’s page. FRID returns to MADAME ARMFELDT. OSA, MADAME ARMFELDT’s maid, passes with a tray of cookies, and FREDRIKA takes one. DESIRÉE gets a mallet and begins to play croquet.

  MADAME ARMFELDT: To lose a lover or even a husband or two during the course of one’s life can be vexing. But to lose one’s teeth is a catastrophe. Bear that in mind, child, as you chomp so recklessly into that ginger snap.

  FREDRIKA: Very well, Grandmother.

  MADAME ARMFELDT (Holding up her glass to FRID): More champagne, Frid.

  (FRID gets a fresh bottle)

  One bottle the less of the Mumms ’87 will not, I hope, diminish the hilarity at my wake.

  (DESIRÉE sits on the rise. FRID opens the bottle with a loud pop!)

  QUINTET:

  The sun won’t set.

  It’s useless to hope or to fret.

  It’s dark as it’s going to get.

  The hands on the clock turn,

  But don’t sing a nocturne

  Just yet.

  (Off, we hear a car-horn)

  DESIRÉE: They’re coming!

  MADAME ARMFELDT: Nonsense!

  DESIRÉE: But they are!

  MADAME ARMFELDT: Impossible. No guest with the slightest grasp of what is seemly would arrive before five-fifteen on a Friday afternoon.

  (We hear the car-horn again, and this time it’s louder)

  Good God, you’re right!

  DESIRÉE: Malla!

  (DESIRÉE runs up into the house, followed closely by MALLA and OSA. BERTRAND exits with the croquet set)

  MADAME ARMFELDT: Frid! We cannot be caught squatting on the ground like Bohemians!

  (FRID scoops her up and carries her into the house. FREDRIKA follows. The QUINTET runs on to collect the furniture and props left on stage. They freeze for a moment at the sound of the car-horn, and then all run off A beat later, CARL-MAGNUS’s sports car drives on. CARL-MAGNUS is driving; CHARLOTTE sits beside him. CARL-MAGNUS stops the car and gets out)

  CHARLOTTE (Looking around): Happy birthday to me!

  CARL-MAGNUS (Inspecting a wheel): What was that?

  CHARLOTTE: I merely said ... oh, never mind.

  CARL-MAGNUS: If that damn lawyer thinks he’s going to get away with something — Haha!


  CHARLOTTE: Haha! indeed, dear.

  (CARL-MAGNUS helps CHARLOTTE out of the car)

  CARL-MAGNUS: Watch him, Charlotte. Watch them both like a...

  CHARLOTTE: Hawk. I know, dear. You’re a tiger, I’m a hawk.

  We’re our own zoo.

  (As she speaks, a touring car sweeps on from the opposite side. It is driven rather erratically by FREDRIK with ANNE beside him. HENRIK and PETRA are in the back seat with a pile of luggage. The car only just misses CARL-MAGNUS’s car as it shudders to a stop. Recognition comes. FREDRIK gets out of his car)

  FREDRIK: Good day, sir. I was not aware that you were to be a fellow guest.

  (FREDRIK opens the car door and helps ANNE out. HENRIK helps PETRA out of the back seat)

  CARL-MAGNUS: Neither is Miss Armfeldt. I hope our arrival will in no way inconvenience you.

  FREDRIK: Not at all, not at all. I am happy to see that you have gotten through yet another week without any serious wounds.

  CARL-MAGNUS: What’s that? Wounds, sir?

  FREDRIK: Rapier? Bow and arrow? Blow dart?

  (At this point, ANNE and CHARLOTTE see each other. They run together. On the way, ANNE drops her handkerchief)

  ANNE (Hissing): CHARLOTTE (Hissing):

  So you did come? (Pause) So you did come? (Pause)

  Talk later. Talk later.

  (HENRIK, tremendously solicitous, holds out the handkerchief to ANNE)

 

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