Mrs. Beabots smiled. “You are always welcome in this house, Grace.” You have to know that. I’ll miss you terribly.” Mrs. Beabots hugged Grace and kissed Jules’s cheek.
Jules grabbed Mrs. Beabots’s hair and smiled. “Ba.”
“We’ll both miss you,” Grace said as a wave of homesick tears crested her heart. “I can’t believe I’m leaving.”
Mica came to the door and Grace opened it. She felt every wound she’d inflicted on him. She wasn’t sure how she’d live with herself. She felt glued to the floor, knowing that leaving was the worst decision. Staying was a choice riddled with misery as well.
“Ready to go?” he asked solemnly.
“Yes.” She handed Jules to him.
While Mica buckled Jules into his carrier, Grace turned to Louise. “I’ll pick you up at Charles de Gaulle. You text me when you leave New York. I’ll check with the airlines to make sure you’re on time. Oh, Aunt Louise, thank you for coming over to help me. This means the world to me. Especially—” She looked over at Mica, who was coming back up the steps to help with her luggage. “Especially now.”
“I know, dear. I love you.”
“I love you, too. ’Bye.”
Grace followed Mica to the truck and got in.
He backed out of the drive and started down Maple Boulevard.
“Thanks for letting me take you. I figured with me having the car seat for Jules and all...”
Grace couldn’t find her voice.
“It’s okay,” she finally said.
They crossed the light at Main Street. She looked up at the sandstone county courthouse. She glanced down Main Street at all the pretty shops. She remembered how the town looked in spring, with the white pear blossoms. In a small-town way, it reminded her of Paris.
Paris. Her home.
Indian Lake. Her heart’s home.
They pulled up to the train station. Most of the snow had been plowed and the large piles from the blizzard had been carted away by dump trucks and taken up to Lake Michigan, where the snow would turn back into water in the spring.
Mica left the truck running and the heater on. He turned to her.
“Grace. There’s something I want...I mean, I need to say to you.”
Grace felt a cold chill as if the winter wind had seeped through the truck’s steel and glass. “And that is?”
“Your leaving is the best thing for us.”
“What?” Her insides froze. And that stone her heart had become was heavy and painful.
Mica loved her. She was certain of it now. But she’d hurt him deeply. If he admitted his feelings to her, he undoubtedly thought he wouldn’t be able to go on.
Their love had been doomed from the start.
“You deserve so much more than I can ever give you. You should have a guy like that Rene fellow. He lives in your world. Understands it and you. He’s protective of you. I like that about him. And if not him, someone else even better.”
“This isn’t happening, Mica. You know I love you.”
“Grace, I don’t think I could take another heartbreak. I don’t know how long it will take for me to really forgive you for keeping Jules a secret. I hope I’ll overcome it someday. But then to take him away from me just when I start planning my life around him? You were going to leave two days from now anyway...but I’d planned for him to stay with me.”
“You’re right,” she choked out.
She covered her face with her hands. “Mica, I’m so sorry. Deeply sorry. But I do love you.”
“Grace, I meant it when I said that I had some things to work out for myself. The thing is...I’m going away, too.”
She turned to face him. “Away? Where?”
“Florida.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been tinkering around with designs to retrofit farm equipment for disabled folks like me.”
She blinked as she took it all in. “Your design?”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Until now, it’s only been a dream. Then when you and Jules showed up, I finally did something about it and sent my proposal to Peerless Farm Manufacturing. I got a call from them right before I left the house to come here. They want a meeting with me. For that, I have to thank you, Grace.”
“I—I had no idea.”
“Nobody did. I didn’t want to tell anyone until it became a sure thing.”
She stared at him, speechless.
“I have to do this, for me and for Jules and his future. I want him to be proud of his father. I need this. Do you understand?”
“I do, Mica.”
“As it is, I wouldn’t be able to watch him right now. I have to leave for Florida in a few days.”
“That soon?”
“Yeah.”
“And after that?”
“I’ll find out if we mesh. I might have to move out there.”
She gasped. “You? Would leave the farm?” She couldn’t believe it. Mica had always been part of the land, part of the Barzonni legend in her mind.
“This is going to sound crazy, Grace, but I believe my accident showed me I needed to change course in my life. I needed to delve inside myself and find out what I wanted. Not what my father wanted for me or my mother. Florida is my chance to find myself.”
Pursing her lips, she said, “I get that. I do.”
“I thought you would. Even if no one else did.”
“Oh, Mica, they’re going to love your work.”
“Don’t be so sure. Besides, you have no idea what I’ve been doing.”
“I believe in you. I know you wouldn’t even begin a project if it didn’t have true worth.”
“That’s exactly how I felt.”
“You see? I do know you.” Her smile was genuine, though it hurt her heart.
“You do.” He reached out and traced her cheekbone.
“Mica, what if you have to move to Florida? What about Jules, I mean?” And me. Is there any hope for me?
“I’d make arrangements for him to visit me there, of course.”
“Oh.”
“Grace, we have to work together so that I can see Jules. Once I secure my career, we’ll talk it out. Okay? We’ll find a way.”
“Yes, we’ll do that,” she said feeling empty inside.
Mica was being practical and realistic. It was amazing how quickly her Sunday morning dream had shattered. She’d been foolish to think that she could have a long-ago dream. She was a contemporary woman living in a high-charged world of commerce and competition. It was where she belonged.
Too many people depended on her. She couldn’t and wouldn’t chuck it all just to have a sweet home with Mica and Jules. Besides, she wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t have her work. She had to keep her head on straight and stay real.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
Grace didn’t want to miss a nanosecond of the feel of him, the warmth and the bittersweet emotion that erupted inside her.
“Mica, I wish...”
“I wish a lot of things, too, Grace,” he said huskily and kissed her.
This was a kiss she didn’t like at all. It was filled with that same longing she’d felt before, but it was now riddled with finality. A goodbye kiss.
Grace wasn’t sure she’d live through it.
This wasn’t just goodbye, this was the final sting. The kill. The end.
“I admit to liking our times together. All of them. But both of us are realists. You live in Paris. Right now, I pretty much don’t know where the next day is going to take me. I promise to help with Jules in any way I can. Like I said, we’ll work out the logistics. Okay? You just tell me what you want.”
Grace had to force herself to remember to brea
the. She couldn’t think.
She heard the train whistle blast.
She opened the door. “Train.”
Mica rushed to jump out. “I’ll get Jules.”
Grace took her bags as Mica carried Jules toward the loading area.
The train came to a stop and the conductor got out. Mica and Grace hung back as another dozen or so passengers got on.
Mica handed Jules to Grace as the conductor took her bags. She walked up to the little metal steps.
“Goodbye, Grace,” Mica said. He kissed Jules’s cheek.
“Da!” Jules waved and then snuggled his face in Grace’s shoulder.
“Goodbye, Mica,” she replied, taking one last look at him. It was an image she knew she had to lock away. It had to last the rest of her life.
* * *
MICA STOOD ON the pavement and watched as the train pulled out of the station and headed west. The winter wind cut through his sheepskin jacket, but he didn’t feel a thing. He’d been numb all day.
Ever since you told me that you loved me.
In less than a week, Mica had come to a lot of revelations and decisions. His mother was right. Grace lit up when he was around, an incandescence he’d never seen in anyone. Not that he’d paid attention to other people and their lives all that much. But once he knew what he was looking for, he’d found it.
Grace was everything any man in his right mind could ever want. And that was the problem.
Even if he’d gotten on that plane and flown back with her, he knew that they wouldn’t stay together. She’d said she loved him, more than once, but then she’d taken Jules. If she loved him, how could she do that? She had to know how much she hurt him. Sure, Grace had had a crush on him when they were kids. Back then, her head was filled with rhinestone crowns, runways and finding a Prince Charming to her Cinderella.
Now they were adults and he was no prince.
Not even close.
He had to make something of himself. He wanted Grace to be proud of him. He wanted his son to look up to him the way he’d admired his own father.
More than that, he wanted to know his son loved him. Really loved him. He would have to find a way to be present in Jules’s life and that meant working around Grace’s schedule. If she had to be in Paris, he would fly to her. He would not wait around for Grace to make the decisions and the plans. He would find a way.
And to make that happen, Mica had a great deal to do.
Mica went to his truck and backed away from the station.
“This was the right decision,” he said to himself.
For a short time, he’d gotten lost in Grace’s vibrancy, her joy, her caring for others and, yes, her love for him. He was going to miss her. Heck. He already missed her and she hadn’t been gone more than a few minutes.
He didn’t want to think how sharp this pain in his chest was going to get after a week apart. Months.
And what would his life be like years from now, not seeing Grace? Or once she did find another man? How would he deal with that when just this parting was killing him?
“Mica, you idiot. You’re in love with her. Not a crush or infatuation. You love her—and it’s taken her leaving you for you to realize it.”
Mica kept driving south wondering when it had started to rain.
The laugh that escaped his mouth tasted bitter. “Not rain—tears.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MICA WORE PROTECTIVE glasses as he stood next to Vincent Asmundi and Chip Hardesty and watched sparks fly from a flux welding torch at the Peerless Farm Manufacturing plant. Half a dozen workers wearing helmets, masks and heavy gloves barely noticed their presence.
“We’ve got the first prototype all set up in the next room, Mica,” Vincent said.
“Yes, we’re very excited about your design. We didn’t have to make a single adjustment. The wiring and the motherboard specs you sent were letter-perfect.”
“That’s great news.” Mica smiled as he followed them into a large warehouse. Here were tractors, bulldozers, large riding lawn mowers, trailers and trucks. All were being retrofitted with his voice-activated device.
Vincent began the demonstration. “Using a universal command device, as you suggested, was genius. Our code expert jumped right in as we’d hoped.”
Chip motioned to Mica to follow him. “We’ll go up to what we call the box. You can watch nearly everything in the warehouse from here.”
Vincent began the demonstrations. One after another, he “drove” each vehicle with voice commands.
After nearly an hour of taking the vehicles through their paces, Vincent suggested they retire back to his office for the rest of the meeting.
Vincent’s office was a sea of metal racks containing equipment pieces and engine parts.
“I keep my experimental jobs back here so they don’t wind up where they shouldn’t.”
Chip laughed. “That’s my fault. I’m always tinkering with things and I have a bad habit of using what I can find. Once I’m in that creative ‘zone’...”
“I understand that,” Mica said. “It’s like living in another world.”
Vincent nodded. “I think all creative types are like that, don’t you? Doesn’t matter if you’re an artist, filmmaker or designer. Once that creative switch is turned on...” He raked his hand through his hair. “I find I forget to eat.”
Mica nodded. “So true.” Odd that at that moment he would think of Grace and her drawings. She could sketch all night long, she’d said. She understood about the lengths he would go to when an idea hit him. She understood what it was like to lie awake all night making notes on whatever scratch paper was at hand. He’d been doing that a lot for the past three weeks and had come up with even more ideas to present to Vincent and Chip. He would have liked to have told Grace about them. She would have been happy for him.
But he’d sent her away.
“So, Mica, here’s the thing. You’ve got us to thinking. We’d like to delve more deeply into your ideas regarding accessible equipment. Vincent and I see several avenues we’d like to travel, but we need you on our team to accomplish this.”
Mica straightened in his chair. This had never happened to him before. These experts, entrepreneurs, were asking his advice. He’d dipped a toe into his career, his chosen field, but he’d never taken the plunge. Well, he was diving in now.
“What do you have in mind?”
Vincent beamed and opened his drawer. “You won’t believe this, but we’ve made some inquiries. Everything from motor scooters to motorcycles, quadrupeds and even airplanes.”
“Airplanes?”
“Can you imagine if we went military with this?”
Mica dropped his jaw. “But disabled veterans...”
“That’s what we were thinking. Normally, they’re discharged. But what if we offered equipment, all kinds of equipment, they could run? What if we changed the landscape for them?”
Mica wanted to jump for joy. It was all he could do to contain his enthusiasm. “This is incredible.”
“We could change the world for a lot of people, Mica,” Chip said.
Vincent shoved the list across his desk. “We believe that with you on the team, there’s no limit to what we could come up with—”
Chip interrupted. “We understand if you need time to think about it.”
Mica picked up the paperwork, perusing it quickly. “I assume you’d want me to move here to Florida.”
“That would be ideal, yes,” Chip said.
Vincent leaned across the desk. “Mica, it goes without saying that if you joined us, you’d be a partner in the company. That would also mean that we would share in the profits of your ideas. You might want to keep the patent on your designs. That’s up to you. But I can promise you this.
We have contacts in the military. At all the major manufacturers you see represented in this warehouse. We have ten years of cultivating the relationships we bring to the table.”
Mica looked from Chip’s lean, scruffy face to Vincent’s intense brown eyes. “It’s a lot to think about.”
“It is, but whatever your concerns, we want to work that out with you. There’s nothing that we can’t overcome—together.”
Mica cocked his head. “Nothing?”
“I promise you. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. That’s always been my motto.”
Vincent rose and held out his hand. “You’ve been an inspiration to us, Mica.”
“Ditto,” Chip said as he shook Mica’s hand as well.
Mica left the plant with his head swimming. Had those men said those things? Had they actually offered him a partnership? Was the excitement he felt from them real? Did they really think they could change the world for disabled workers?
“Why not?”
It was time for some real changes in the world of accessibility and Mica wanted, no, craved, to be part of it all.
He’d followed in his father’s footsteps for so long, he’d had no idea that this was the kind of elation, the solid satisfaction that comes from creating something worthy. That others valued and sought out.
This must be how Grace feels when she sells one of her designs. No wonder she flew back to Paris so quickly. Who could ever live an ordinary life after tasting this kind of success?
Rather than call for a cab to take him back to his hotel, he chose to walk along the palm-tree-lined sidewalk and enjoy the mild winter weather.
People cycled along wide bike paths. Up ahead was a park, where he saw two elderly men playing checkers. A young couple read books while holding hands on a blanket spread under a river birch tree. He saw jogging mothers pushing strollers. One mother had twins.
Twins. What must that be like?
His mind flew to Jules. He missed his baby more than he’d thought possible. During sleepless nights, he’d conjured plans of seeing Jules and Grace again. He’d imagined them at his mother’s dining table for her Superbowl party. But the Superbowl had come and gone, and though Grace phoned him, he did not see Jules. Mica was amazed how much he wanted to hold his son.
His Baby Dilemma Page 22