by McKayla Box
I shake my head. “No. He'll understand. Let's go together. The four of us.”
Traffic starts moving again and we inch forward.
“Let's be clear on one thing,” Gina says.
We all wait.
“I'm not putting out for any of the three of you.”
We all laugh as we slowly crawl toward home.
TWENTY FOUR
“You're home,” my dad says.
It takes us nearly seven hours to navigate the traffic home, but we finally make it. Maddie drops me off first and I dropped all of my sandy stuff and my board in the garage before I walked into the house.
“I'm home,” I say. “Finally.”
He walks over and gives me a hug.
“And I need a serious shower,” I say.
He laughs. “Go do that. You can fill me in when you're clean.”
I stand in the shower for a good twenty minutes, washing the weekend off of me. The ocean, the sand, the sweat. I stand under the water and close my eyes.
Finally, I shut the water off, get out and get dressed, and take a brush to the living room to work through my hair while I catch up with my dad.
He's on the couch, his legs up on the coffee table. “Better?”
I collapse on the other side of the couch. “Way better. I don't mind camping, but not showering sucks.”
“I'd agree with that,” he says. “Probably why we don't camp very often. Or at all.”
I laugh. “Yeah.”
“So how was it?”
I think for a moment. “It was...interesting.”
He raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“It means a lot of crap happened,” I say, laughing.
“I'm not sure what to think of that,” he says. “Is this crap that you can tell me about?”
I laugh. “Sure.”
I tell him about getting up there on Friday night and getting hassled by the boys, but I make it sound far less awful than it was. I tell him about racing in the sand, but leave out the parts about Shanna and Athena. I tell him there was a fight, but don't tell him who the participants were. So I'm basically giving him half the story.
“And one other thing of note,” I say, brushing through my wet hair. “Trevor and I are sort of together again.”
“Sort of together?” he asks. “What does that mean?”
“I don't know,” I say. “Okay, not sort of. We are together.”
“And you're good with that?” he asks. “That's what you want?”
I nod. “Yeah. We talked. We figured some things out. We're not getting married or anything. But we're together.”
“You're happy about it?”
I think for a moment, then nod. “Yeah. I am.”
He smiles. “Okay then. Works for me.”
“Enough about me,” I say. “How was your weekend?”
He shrugs. “Fine.”
We sit in silence for a moment.
I finally roll my eyes. “You know what I'm asking.”
He chuckles. “I do. My date was...quite excellent.”
I resist the urge to make a face. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “Excellent enough that we went out again last night.”
It's taking everything I have to not scream. “Really? Wow.”
“We had a really nice time on Friday,” he says. “Went to dinner, then had a drink afterward. Stayed out pretty late. We have a lot in common and it was pretty nice to have a conversation with someone who I felt like I could relate to. So I texted her yesterday morning, just telling her thanks for a nice evening, blah blah blah.” He smiles at me. “She called me and asked if I wanted to have dinner again last night. I did, so we did. And it was really nice again.”
“That's...great,” I say. “I'm happy for you.”
He nods. “Yeah. Was kind of nice for a change. Not that I don't love your company, but...it was just a nice change.” He pauses. “We're going out again this week.”
“Wow,” I say, trying to keep my emotions in check. “That's...wow.”
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I say. “I'm just surprised.”
He studies me for a long moment. “Is something wrong? Are you not okay with it?”
I have to make a decision here.
Do I tell him about Shanna and what my relationship is like with her?
Or do I keep my mouth shut and tell him everything is fine and hope that it doesn't turn into anything significant?
It's ironic.
I'd pretty much made up my mind to tell him about everything that's happened. The long drive in the car gave me a lot of time in my own head and I'd decided I'd fill him in on everything. I wasn't going to hold anything back from him.
But now?
Now it feels like I'm nothing but a wet blanket if I tell him how I feel about his new girlfriend's daughter.
I force a smile onto my face and I hope it looks genuine.
“It's fine,” I tell him. “It's all fine.”
TWENTY FIVE
“It's not fine,” I say.
It's Monday afternoon and we're at lunch at Juanito's, escaping the crowd at The Hamburger Hut. We're outside at the picnic tables and I'm picking at my taco without much interest and I've told Bridget, Gina, and Maddie about my dad's dates with Shanna's mother.
“It's not fine,” I say again. “I was awake all night, staring at the ceiling. It makes me ill just thinking about it.”
“That sucks,” Bridget says. “I'm sorry.”
“And then I feel guilty for feeling that way,” I say. “It's his life and he should be able to date whoever he wants. I don't want to be the shitty daughter who has a problem with his girlfriend.”
“Didn't you tell us that you hate your mom's new husband?” Gina asks.
“Yeah, but that's different,” I say. “Or it feels different. She cheated on my dad with that guy. I feel justified in hating him for what he did.” I frown. “This feels different. He doesn't know about Shanna and her mom might be super nice. I don't know. But it's just really fucking weird and I don't know what to do.” I push the paper plate away. “And I'm just super fucked up over everything right now.”
Bridget puts her hand on my back.
“Super fucked up over what else?” Maddie asks. “Just the idea of him with her? Or what?”
I take a deep breath. “Okay. Remember what I was talking about in the car on the way up to Santa Barbara? About how it wasn't okay what she and Athena did to me? That I felt like I was chickening out?”
They all nod.
“When we drove home yesterday, I'd made up my mind to tell my dad about what happened,” I say. I look at each of them. “And to go to the police.”
“Oh, wow,” Maddie says.
“No shit?” Gina asks. “For real?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Why?” Bridget asks. “I mean, why did it change?”
“I've just been thinking a ton about it,” I explain. “All that stuff I was saying in the car. About what's right. About fighting back. About standing up to people. It's why I went after that asshole on Friday night and acted like a lunatic. I am so tired of people getting away with shit. I am so tired of watching girls have to take shit. And you know what I thought about before I lost my shit on Friday?”
None of them say anything.
“After they dropped us in the water, all I could think about was if, like, some freshmen had been there,” I say. “And they'd seen that. Girls and guys. And if we didn't do anything, two things happen. The guys think it's okay to do and the girls think they can't do anything about it. I just thought about that and it enraged me.”
“You fucking ripped his hair off,” Gina says, shaking her head.
I laugh. “Yeah. That's how mad I was. I don't wanna be the girl that sets that example for other girls in school. Fuck that.” I pause. “And there's something else that I've been thinking about.”
They all look at me.
They don't say anything.
“Let's say you don't see me,” I continue. “And they go through with whatever their stupid fucking plan was. They let Holly beat the crap out of me.” I pause. “But what if it goes further? What if Derek rapes me? What if that happens? I mean, fuck. Shanna fucking drugged me. I got lucky because Bridget saw me. You guys fucking know that shit like that has happened to other girls at our school. And guess what? Their friends didn't see them go into a pool house or a bedroom. They didn't get lucky.” I shake my head. “They got as unlucky as you can get.”
It's quiet for a few minutes.
“I know a girl at Del Sol,” Maddie says. “Two years ago. She went to a party and two guys took her into a room. She was a virgin.” She shakes her head. “She was too afraid to even tell her parents, much less anyone else.”
“There was that girl in our class last year,” Gina says. “Remember? Shit, I can't even remember her name and that fucking feels terrible now. Shit. But I remember hearing that something happened to her at The Hump one night. Some guy that had already graduated. I heard the story and then she was gone. Transferred.”
Bridget looks down at the table. “My sister.”
We all look at her.
“Was three years ago,” she says. “She was a senior. It was literally her boyfriend. They weren't having sex. His parents were gone and she went over to watch a movie. All of a sudden he was on her and she told him no, but it...happened. She was in shock. She told me a week later. She didn't think anyone would take her seriously because he was her fucking...boyfriend.”
I put my hand over hers. “Fuck. I'm sorry.”
She nods.
I look at each of them. “But this is what I mean. We all know people that it's happened to, but nothing happens. Mainly because we're scared to do anything. We don't think people will believe us or we think it'll get turned around on us.”
“Because it fucking will,” Gina says.
“I know,” I say, nodding. “I know that. But the longer we just keep our mouths shut, the longer it's going to go on. Nothing's going to change.” I shake my head and take a deep breath. “So, as we were driving home yesterday, in my head, I was just, like, fuck it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna tell him and I'm going to the police. Whatever happens, happens. I can deal with it. Everyone already thinks I'm a mess, so who gives a shit, right?”
“You're not a mess,” Bridget says. “Not even a little.”
“So I literally make up my mind to do all of this,” I say. “And then I sit down on the couch and my dad tells me how great his date was and how much he likes her and all I can think is...shit. If I tell him everything and then go to the police, it's going to fuck everything up for him. 'Hey, Dad. Your new girlfriend's daughter drugged me in order to let someone beat me up. No big deal. Have fun on your date!'” I shake my head. “What the hell do I do with that?”
No one says anything for a minute. My heart's racing again and it's for all the wrong reasons. I should be exhausted after not sleeping, but I'm all wound up.
“Are you asking for our opinion?” Maddie asks.
“Yeah,” I say. “I am.”
She pushes the empty plate toward the middle of the table. “Okay, so my answer is complicated. If it were just me, I wouldn't. Like I said in the car, I know myself and I'd be too chicken. I'd back away. But if I'm you?” She pauses. “I'd do it. I'd tell him. You have a good relationship with your dad, they've gone on two dates, and I think he'd want to know. I think he's gonna be horrified and, yeah, it probably does screw up any relationship with Shanna's mom, but oh well. If I'm you? I'm telling him.”
“Me, too,” Gina says. “I don't know what I'd do if it was me. I'd like to think I'd just go and tell him, but it's hard to say. My dad is a serious pain in the ass and my mom is no help. So I don't know what I'd do. But Maddie's right. You have a good relationship with your dad. I think he'd be more upset if you didn't tell him and he found out down the road.” She leans forward. “I vote for telling him.”
I nod and look at Bridget. “What do you think?”
She stares at the table for a long time before turning to me. “I'd tell him, too. I think he's on your side, no matter what. I don't think you'll come off as the bratty kid. You aren't that kid and he knows that, right? Whatever happens with her mother, happens. I don't know.” She pauses. “And I'd go to the police, too.”
Hearing it out loud makes it seem scarier for some reason. “You would?”
“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “And I know it's because of what happened to my sister. I wanted her to tell someone. I understand why she didn't, but I still wanted her to. We fought about it one night and I said a ton of awful shit. We made up, but it still just sucked.” She shakes her head. “It's not okay and you're right. You have to send the right message to people. Otherwise, there's no stopping any of it.”
She's right.
All three of them are right.
I knew it before I even asked them.
“And if you're going all in, I'd tell him about Athena, too,” Maddie says.
“You would?” I say, surprised.
She nods. “Yeah. Look, I don't know the law. It's all so fucking stupid and purposely confusing, but I know they've made laws about revenge porn and shit like that. Maybe it fits under that. I don't know. But he's a lawyer. He'll know or he'll know someone who can.” She nods again. “I'd lay it all out for him. If you want to send a message, then send it to fucking everyone.”
Gina nods. “Hard agree.”
Bridget nods. “Same. Put it all out there.” She looks at me. “As long as you're sure you can take whatever blowback comes at you. Because there will be some. You know that.”
I do know that and it's probably part of the reason I haven't done anything about it.
I do know that.
And I'm not sure I can take it.
But I'm also sure that Bridget's sister and Maddie's friend and the girl Gina heard about didn't have a choice in what happened to them.
I have a choice.
I'll figure out how to take the blowback.
“Okay,” I say. “I can take it.”
TWENTY SIX
“Hey, bitch. I wanna talk to you.”
School's over and I'm walking to my car. My lack of sleep has finally caught up with me and I'm exhausted. Or maybe it's the mental and emotional toll of lunch. Or maybe it's just both. I just want to get home and lie down and take a break from the bullshit.
And, yet, it's following me into the parking lot.
I turn around.
Derek Morgan is standing there, smirking at me.
I turn back around and keep walking.
“You were a real superstar this weekend,” he says, still trailing me. “A genuine superhero.”
“Fuck off, Derek,” I say. “Or I'll rip your fucking hair off, too.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I won't get that close. Didn't know you had it in you, Presley. Good for you.”
I don't say anything. I get to my car and open the rear driver's side door. I throw my bag in the back and close the door. I try to open the driver's door, but he's in the way.
“Move,” I say.
“I just need a minute of your time,” he says, leaning against the car.
“I don't have a minute to give you. Move.”
“Glad your boyfriend was able to save you on Saturday night,” he says, ignoring me. “That whole fire walk thing was impressive as hell.”
“He didn't save me,” I snap. “I don't need to be saved by anyone.”
“Call it what you want,” he says, leaning against the car. “Was kind of badass, though, I have to admit. I wish I'd had my phone out and filmed it. Dude looked like he was literally on fire before he beat that guy into the sand.”
“The fuck do you want, Derek?” I say. “And get your ass o
ff my car. Now.”
He makes a big show of moving off the car, but he's still close enough to the door that I can't open it. “Sorry. Don't want to dirty up your new ride.” He smiles at me. “You and Trev broken the backseat in yet?”
“You've got five seconds before I go for your hair,” I tell him. “Because I'm close enough now.”
He considers that and takes half a step backward.
I do like that he's afraid of me.
I almost smile.
“Question for you,” he says. “What did they charge Trev with?”
“Ask him yourself,” I say. “Just bring an extra pair of underwear to change into it because we all know you'll shit yourself if you have to get that close to him.”
“You're funny,” he says, but the smirk is gone.
A small victory for me.
“I assume they charged him with something,” he says. “You don't get cuffed and the free ride to the station if you aren't getting charged.”
“Why the fuck do you even care?” I ask.
He folds his arms across his chest. “Oh, I don't care. I wish they'd locked his raggedy ass up and kept him there. I could give a shit about Trevor Robinson.”
“Except here you are asking about him,” I say. “Feels a lot like you give a shit about him.”
“Whatever,” he says. “I'm here to warn you.”
“To warn me?”
“Yep.”
“About what exactly?”
He smiles. “About doing something extremely stupid.”
I sigh. “This is getting old.” I reach for my door and yank it open, hoping the mirror will hit him in the balls.
But he steps back and it just misses him.
“See, Trevor's in trouble now,” he says. “I don't know what they charged him with, but I can make some guesses. And that probably sucks. Not saying that guy didn't deserve it, but Trevor beat the shit out of that guy and it wasn't self-defense. Last I checked, that's against the law. Not good for our buddy Trevor, right?”
I don't say anything.
“Now, I'm sure that Trev's dad will get a really good lawyer and they'll figure something out,” he continues. “Maybe get him some probation or something like that. Who knows? Just a one time thing and he'll promise to never do it again and everyone walks away happy.” He smiles at me. “Right?”