by A. D. Ryan
I settled on a pair of blue plaid-patterned mid-calf pajama pants. They were silk and so soft against my clean skin, and I paired them with a tight, white camisole that showed off a teensy bit of my midriff. After towel-drying my hair a little, I hung the fluffy green towel behind my door and headed to the kitchen to find Jensen was just pulling a casserole from the oven.
“That smells delicious,” I told him as I moved to his side and inhaled deeply. I hadn’t realized just how close I was until he shifted and the back of his arm grazed my right breast, causing my nipples to react. Yes, he noticed. And yes, I blushed.
“Thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe. It’s a vegetarian dish—that won’t be a problem, will it?”
I think that was when I fell in love with him—or, at least, deep like, because I’d only known him for two days now. “Not at all. I’m a vegetarian, too.” I don’t think I ever really understood exactly what swooning felt like, but I definitely did now. In fact, I think I had just gone pro.
“Go on, sit down. I’ll bring it over.”
I did as Jensen instructed, sitting in my usual seat and waiting patiently for dinner to find its way into my belly. Jensen placed the casserole in the middle of the table, and I licked my lips in anticipation.
Jensen took his seat next to me and waited. I raised my eyes to him and noticed him watching me. “What?” I asked softly, self-consciously tucking my damp hair behind my ear.
Shaking his head, he smiled. “No, it’s nothing. You just look so relaxed, is all.”
I laughed nervously, remembering what almost went down during my shower. “Oh, uh, yeah. The bath really helped.”
“Your side feels okay, then?” he inquired, reaching over and dishing out some of the casserole for me before filling his own plate.
“Um, yes?”
Raising his eyes to me, he cocked an eyebrow. “Madi…”
“Save it.” I stabbed a piece of the broccoli casserole and ate it. “Mmmm,” I mumbled, closing my eyes to savor the taste of what had to be a homemade cream sauce. “This is incredible.”
When I opened my eyes, Jensen was staring intensely at me as I shoved another forkful into my mouth. “What?” I asked, covering my mouth to conceal the food in it and feeling self-conscious all over again.
Chuckling, Jensen shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Look who’s the liar now.” I teased, lightly nudging his leg beneath the table. “So, you’re a vegetarian, huh?”
Jensen swallowed his food and nodded. “Yeah. Cooking at your dad’s place yesterday was a challenge. The man doesn’t really have much to offer in his fridge that was entirely vegetarian friendly.”
“Tell me about it. I mean, I eat eggs and some dairy, but that’s about it. Dad refuses to eat dinner over here most nights because I never cook anything substantial.” I lowered my voice to offer the best impression of my father as possible, making Jensen laugh. I leaned forward and indicated with my index finger to come closer so I could tell him a secret. Yes, I realized we were the only two in the room; maybe I just wanted to be closer to him, all right? “Can I tell you something?”
Jensen nodded, moving his chair over slightly, his knee brushing against mine under the table, making those pesky butterflies flourish again. Our eyes locked. “I’ve done something really bad. Do you promise not to tell anyone?”
“I thought we covered where I stand on making promises,” Jensen reminded me, his tone soft and teasing.
“Just do it. I’m your boss.”
Nodding, he conceded. “Okay, I promise to keep your secret.”
I looked around the room unnecessarily before returning my eyes to his. “I do all of my dad’s grocery shopping and, while I buy him meats for dinners and such, I buy vegan deli meats for lunches since that’s when I mostly eat over there.”
“You do what?” Jensen asked, his lips turning up at the corners into a wide smile as he laughed. “You are bad. Way worse than me.” He sat up and picked up his fork to have another bite. “I think you might just need to be punished.”
I had just taken a bite as he said that last bit, and I damn-near choked on it. The legs of his chair scraped against the tile as he pushed his chair back to stand up when I held up a hand. “No,” I said through a cough. “I’m okay. I just wasn’t expecting that.”
Once I had my coughing fit under control, Jensen relaxed and we continued eating. “So, tell me about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
I shrugged. “How did your parents meet?”
Jensen took another bite, and I did the same as I waited for him to continue. “After high school, my dad travelled England, met my mother, who was taking a bit of time off before going to college in the states. Their meeting was kismet in a way. Turned out they were going to the same college.”
“That’s so cool,” I said, totally enthralled by his parents’ love story. My own mother died when I was two, so I don’t know much about her, other than she was the love of my father’s life.
“They got married while he was still in school because they found out they were expecting me,” Jensen continued. “Mom finished up her residency by the time I was two, and they had my sister, Lilah, a few years later. We grew up on a farm just outside of Memphis, and after I graduated, I went to the University of Houston.”
“What did you study?”
“Well, I couldn’t settle on a major at first, which pissed my dad off. He wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer, and while I seriously considered both career paths, it just wasn’t who I was, you know?”
“I do.” Though, imagining him in a suit, coming home after a long day and me stripping him of his tie, jacket, and shirt … Focus, Madison!
“I finally settled on a Business degree.”
“Me too!” I exclaimed, slapping his arm lightly. “Can I ask why you chose to work here instead of doing something with your degree?”
Jensen looked at me funny for a minute. “What makes you think I’m not doing something with my degree?” My brow furrowed with confusion as I tried to understand how he could possibly be putting his education to good use working as a ranch-hand.
“What do you mean?”
“Madi, I’m hoping to invest in a third of the ranch. Your dad hasn’t talked to you?”
I shook my head. “No, in case you haven’t noticed, things around here have been a little crazy.” It was upsetting that my father was interested in selling a third of his father’s legacy—especially without talking to me about it first—but at the same time, cementing Jensen’s place in this company meant cementing him in my life.
Holy shit, I think I’ve lost my mind. It had only been a couple of days, and I was already looking for ways to keep him around.
“It’s just …” The mood in the room shifted, and he seemed nervous about something, almost like he was struggling to find his words. “I’ve been struggling to find work these last few months, so when I met with my father after moving back, he told me of the recent expansion and I came up with a few ideas to help out a little more.” He paused for a moment as he gauged my lack of reaction to what he was telling me. “You see … growing up on the farm when I was little. I have such fond memories of it, and I’ve always wanted to eventually run my own.”
That jarred me back into reality, and I found myself pushing away from the table, crossing my arms across my chest as I glared angrily at him. “So, you’re using my ranch to gain experience to start your own?” I spat. It took all of thirty seconds for me to go right back to loathing Jensen fucking Davis.
“What? Not at all. I love your operation here, and when Dad told me you guys were expanding, that’s when I decided that I wanted to be a part of it. That is … if you’ll have me?”
“Oh,” I said softly, allowing my arms to fall slack in my lap and feeling guilty for jumping to conclusions like I so often did. “So, you don’t plan on opening up your own place one day?”
Jensen laughed. “And go up against a business
that’s already successful? Not likely. Plus, I don’t know that I could be the boss.”
Oh, I bet you could, I thought, biting my bottom lip gently as I considered the possibilities of him bossing me around a little bit. Apparently, even having a serious conversation with him led right back to me fantasizing about sex with him. It’s what he did to me—well, not the sex. Just the “me thinking about sex all the time” thing. Let’s blame him for not locking the bathroom door. Yeah, that seemed right to me. It was all his fault.
“Your dad’s a good man, Madi. He took a chance on me when no one else would. While I hadn’t really considered this as something I wanted in a career, the more I see and hear about it, the more I want in.” He paused, gauging my reaction. “So?” he inquired, his eyes looking deep into mine, trying to get a read on what my answer might possibly be.
“Honestly? I think it would be good for the ranch to have someone else on board who knows what they’re doing. So, yes.” Jensen smiled upon hearing my acceptance, and I returned the gesture, relaxing in my seat and picking my fork back up.
We talked a little more about him as we continued eating, and when both of our plates were empty, I stood up to clear the table. Jensen moved to help me, but I was having none of it.
“No way. You cooked, now sit back and relax.”
“Madi, you should be the one relaxing,” he reminded me. “You’re injured.”
Placing my hands on the table in front of him, I leaned forward to look him in the eye. His eyes glancing down my shirt wasn’t missed, though. “It’s dishes, Jensen. I think I can handle them.”
I took our plates and put them in the dishwasher before going back for the leftovers so I could refrigerate them. As I was scooping it into a container, Jensen decided to restart the conversation.
“So, who’s Dane?”
I stopped what I was doing for a second upon hearing his name. “My ex,” I stated simply.
“Yeah, I got that earlier. What happened?”
After snapping the lid onto the plastic container, I opened the fridge to find a place for it. “I kicked him out.”
“Because?” Jensen pressed.
“We broke up.” I turned toward Jensen, who was now standing on the other side of the island across from me, his green eyes dark and stormy.
“He said in his message that he was sorry,” Jensen started, his voice dropping as though he were treading dangerous waters. Which he was. “What did he do that he had to be sorry for?” I looked at Jensen completely dumbfounded. What was he trying to do? Run interference? Did he want me to call Dane? “It’s just … maybe he is?”
I laughed dryly. “I bet he is. I guess the next time he decides to have a little too much to drink, he won’t become a belligerent asshole and push me against the wall before putting his fist through it because he missed my face.”
Jensen’s eyes widened. Glancing down, I noticed his hand was wrapped tight around the plate he was holding. His skin was turning white from the pressure, and I worried he might snap the plate in two, so I took it from him. “He tried to hit you?”
I shrugged, feeling tears burn my eyes, and turned toward the sink so Jensen didn’t see how weak I was. I knew I shouldn’t be crying over the end of a toxic relationship, but I was. “He said he wasn’t really going to, that I was over-reacting, but given how close he got, yeah. I believe so.”
The anger that flowed off of Jensen was undeniable. I’d known him less than forty-eight hours, and he was reacting almost viscerally to my breakup.
“My dad heard the shouting and came over immediately,” I continued, turning on the water to start the dishes. “When he saw the tears on my cheeks, the hole in the wall, and the blood on Dane’s knuckles, he did the math. I told Dane it was over, and my dad hauled him out of the house.”
Jensen settled a little, though his forehead was still heavily furrowed. “How long ago did this happen?”
“Just over a month now.” I sniffled and wiped the tears I could no longer contain.
“And he’s still calling? Has he stopped by?”
I nodded and turned the water off. “A couple of times, but my dad won’t let him near me. He knows my dad doesn’t monitor my phone though.” I glance up at Jensen again. “I haven’t returned his calls, if you’re wondering.”
“Why not?”
Sighing, I placed my hands on the counter and leaned heavily. I watched the bubbles in the sink start to pop. “I don’t trust myself to tell him to stay away.”
“That wasn’t an isolated incident.” There’s no inflection to his voice, meaning he was confident in his statement.
“It was the first time he acted violently,” I told him. “But he always drank heavily and often said some awful things to me. He’d accuse me of cheating, then tell me that was ridiculous because no man would ever put up with my shit.”
“Madison,” Jensen tried to cut in.
“I’d stand up for myself, and we’d argue before I’d just go to bed alone while he passed out on the couch. In the mornings, he was always quick to offer an apology, and I was stupid enough to believe him.”
Jensen laid a hand over mine. “You’re not stupid, Madi. Guys like that have a way of manipulating their victims into staying with them. You’re not the only one to have gone through something like this.”
“I know. But that doesn’t make me feel any less stupid.” I paused, holding back a sniffle. “I found out a few days later that he’d been cheating on me too. With his ex. I guess he was just projecting his own guilt—or lack thereof—onto me.” Jensen gave my hand a squeeze, and that familiar warmth spread beneath my skin. I’d only known him a short time, but I was drawn to him and wanted to forget my troubles in him.
But I knew I shouldn’t.
Pulling my hand away, I submerged them in the dishwater. “It’s why I’ve sworn to never engage in a workplace relationship again.”
“I see.” Jensen grabbed a dish towel and dried the dishes as I handed them to him.
With a sniffle, I blinked tears away before forcing a smile and turning around. I no longer wanted to think about what had happened. It was in the past. Where it belonged.
“So,” I started. “Want to go watch TV?”
His sympathy flowed off of him, but I didn’t want it. I just wanted to move on.
Jensen didn’t move from his spot behind the island, so I went to him, grabbed his hand with both of mine and tugged him toward the living room. I pushed him down on one end of the couch, and sat on the left. After flipping the TV on, I brought my legs up and bent my knees to the right to get comfortable while I looked through the guide.
“What do you want to watch?” I asked. He looked a little embarrassed when I looked over at him as he contemplated an answer.
“Jensen?”
“Um, well, what we were watching last night was all right. Got any more of that?”
I used my right hand to shove him lightly. “Who’s the pervert now?” I teased.
“Pfft,” he retaliated. “These are boobs on TV; you were checking me out in the flesh—literally.”
My face burned as I looked away from him and found a few episodes I’d recorded a while back. The show started, and Jensen and I sat in silence. I could feel myself grow sleepy, and my eyeslids dropped a few times as sleep tried to overpower me. Eventually, I lost that battle and passed out with my head leaning on the back of the couch.
Chapter 7. Grounded
With my mind completely clouded with thoughts of Jensen these last couple days—even though we both agreed to just be friends—it only made sense that I’d dream about him every time I slept. The dreams were no different than my fantasies when I was awake. Which is to say, they were incredibly sexual and extremely vivid.
At some point in the dream, I found myself surrounded by warmth, and I felt safe. Secure. It was a feeling I hadn’t experienced since before Dane turned into an asshole, and it wasn’t until I woke up the next morning, fully stretched out on the couch, t
hat I realized why.
Jensen was behind me. His gentle breaths passed over my neck, and his left hand rested on my hip. His chest was pressed against my back, and our legs were completely tangled up in one another’s.
Still half-asleep, I wondered if our current position was accidental, or on purpose. Not that it mattered, because there was a part of me that really enjoyed the way his body molded to mine. With a soft hum, I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of our bodies so close while he was still asleep.
Just as I was snuggling back into him, his fingers gripped my hip lightly before moving up until his hand lay flat against my abdomen. He held me still and firmly against him. I heard his breathing pattern change slightly, and he moaned in my ear. He shifted his hips, and even though it was against everything we’d agreed on, I pressed back, feeling every solid inch of him against my ass. And I liked it.
“Good morning,” he whispered, his lips barely brushing my ear and sending shivers through my body. He didn’t release his hold on me, and I made no indication that I was going anywhere.
“Hey,” I responded softly, turning my head to look at him. “Sorry I fell asleep.”
“Mmmm,” he groaned, releasing his hold on my stomach to stretch before letting his hand fall back to my hip, his thumb brushing my ass. “S’okay. I did, too.” Our eyes locked, and my heartbeat picked up. Our lips were so close to one another’s, and I was so tempted to move just a fraction of an inch and give in to my deepest desire.
Instead, Jensen sat up behind me, clearly realizing our situation was inappropriate as he woke up completely. “I guess we should get ready for work. How are you feeling? Was sleeping on the couch too much for your side?”
Disappointed, I pushed myself up as well, running my fingers through my hair to tame any flyaways. “Um, no. I feel all right.”
“Are you going to ride today?” he asked, standing and stretching his body tall. His shirt raised slightly and showed off the faint trail of hair leading down behind the waistband of his pajama pants.