by A. D. Ryan
When he was satisfied with my position against him, his hands traveled up the outside of my thighs, sliding to the top and continuing up toward my hips. The wide span of his hand had his pinkies still running along the outer seam of my jeans while his thumbs came dangerously and deliciously close to the juncture between my legs. I squirmed beneath him, thrusting my hips up in an effort to force his touch. When his right thumb made contact, my legs tightened around him, holding him even closer still.
While I wanted his hands to remain where they were, I also needed his hands on my heated flesh. Lowering his body again and reclaiming my lips with his own, his fingers teased the skin of my belly before swooping beneath my blue shirt and toward my breasts.
Everything was going well. Jensen and I were finally going to get what we’d both been wanting for so long. Then the flashes started. It was nothing Jensen did that set it off, but all I could see was the look in Dane’s eyes, feel the weight of his body on mine, and the way my skin crawled.
My body tensed below Jensen, and he immediately pulled back, slipping his hands under me to help me sit up as I struggled to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, covering my face.
“Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for.” He wrapped an arm around me and let me lean on him.
“I know. But this can’t be what you had planned for tonight.”
Jensen laughed. “Madi, there was no concrete plan for how tonight would go. Truthfully, I only brought you out here to get you out of the house.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Do I want to sleep with you? I’d be stupid not to, but I’m not going to risk your emotional well-being. I’m not a complete fuckwad.”
I glanced up at him and smiled. “You know, when you say stuff like that, it makes me want you even more.”
“Yeah? The term ‘fuckwad’ gets you hot?”
I laughed loudly, grateful for his ability to lighten the heavy mood. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”
“So, uh,” he stammered somewhat awkwardly in the wake of our almost-sex as he pulled his shirt back on. “You hungry?”
I nodded, pulling my knees up to my chest and clenching my legs together to quell the undeniable ache that still lingered there. Jensen leaned forward and reached into the cooler again, pulling out two covered containers.
“I stopped at a little Italian restaurant and picked this up.” He opened the container and the smell was amazing. “It’s not as warm as it should be, but it’s not cold, either. It’s vegetarian lasagna.”
The first bite was incredible. “I didn’t know that there was an Italian restaurant in town.”
“Well, it’s relatively new. Do you like it?” Jensen watched me carefully as I slid my fork into my mouth again, closing my eyes as I savored the taste.
“Mmm hmm.” He seemed pleased with my reaction and set his dish down to refill our wine glasses.
As the sky darkened above us, Jensen reached into his cooler of magic and grabbed several thick-pillared candles and a lighter, placing them between us so we could see. Even though we were supposed to be keeping things between us casual, I couldn’t help but notice just how much thought went into tonight. It was equal parts scary and exciting.
After clearing away our empty dishes, he moved the candles to the edge of our blanket and pulled me down into his arms so we could stare up at the stars for a bit while we let our food digest. Halley and Ransom continued to roam the field, never going too far—and even when they tried to, Jensen would pull an apple or carrots out of that bottomless cooler and coax them back over to us.
We stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms for another half hour before Jensen suggested we head home. “We should get the horses back, and then I’ll come back with the truck to pick this stuff up before I turn in for the night.”
“I’m not going to make you come all the way back out here by yourself. I’ll come with you.”
Shaking his head, he helped me to my feet. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”
“Maybe not,” I argued. “But I want to help. Don’t be such a guy.” The truth of the matter was I didn’t want to be home alone, but I couldn’t admit it aloud.
After folding the blanket and fitting everything securely in the cooler, we removed the halters from Ransom and Halley and put them inside before Jensen made sure it was shut tightly. Once satisfied with our cleanup, he moved to Ransom’s side, and we mounted before he led us back toward the ranch. While it was sad to leave this secret place of ours, I looked forward to revisiting it together one day soon.
The ride back was good, the sexual tension between the two of us gone for the time being, and we joked around with one another, laughing genuinely as we reentered the ranch grounds. After brushing Halley and Ransom down, we walked hand-in-hand to the truck so we could drive back out and pick up the cooler.
“You can stay here. I’ll be back before you know it,” he told me, unbuckling and opening his door.
Matching his actions move-for-move, I stepped out of the car with him. “No way. I’m coming.”
Jensen smirked and shook his head, chuckling as he closed his car door and circled around to me. “Fine. If you insist. Come.” He was such a guy.
I narrowed my eyes but took his hand in mine and walked with my body right against him. He was right; it didn’t take long thanks to how he was able to drive down a gravel road that got us pretty close to another entry point. Once we had the cooler tucked away in the back of the truck, we headed home and got ready for bed.
I had just pulled Jensen’s shirt on, and was preparing to climb into bed when I froze. I stared at the bed, at the black underwear set that was still there from earlier, and fought the flashes. Forcing my eyes closed, I found the strength to walk away.
Jensen was in his room, turning down his blankets for bed. “Hey,” he said, abandoning his comforter and meeting me in his doorway, his eyes taking in my attire appreciatively as they roamed over my bare legs. “What’s up?”
Like earlier, just being with him calmed me. I felt safe with him. I took his hands in mine and allowed myself to get lost in his eyes again. “I just wanted to thank you again for tonight. I had a really great time.” Jensen beamed, folding his arms and mine around me while I still held his hands.
Tilting his head down, he kissed me softly. “I’m glad. I did, too.”
“I don’t …” I knew I should tell him what was really going on with me, but I just couldn’t. Not yet. “I don’t want the night to end. Can I …” I paused, digging deep down for the strength to voice the rest of my question. “… stay with you?”
I could tell he sensed something was off. “Madison—” he started to dispute before I worked one of my hands free and silenced him with my fingers on his lips.
Shaking my head, I spoke again. “No sex. I just …” I sighed. I needed to be honest. “I can’t sleep in there.” I looked up in his eyes, silently pleading with him. “I need to be with you. Please.”
Nodding against my touch, he led me to his bed, ushering me beneath the covers on the side farthest from the door. I laid back on one of his fluffy pillows and brought the blanket up to my chin. I watched as he removed his shirt again and tossed it in his hamper before he unbuttoned his jeans. His eyes caught mine as I ogled him stripping.
“You know, it’s not fair that you get to watch me get undressed, but I don’t get the same pleasure,” he teased as he tossed his jeans and socks to the hamper and walked over in his boxer briefs before lying next to me and pulling me against him.
“Well, then I guess I’ll have to remedy that soon, huh?” I ribbed, angling my face to kiss his jaw softly before letting my heavy eyes close.
With a chuckle, he kissed my forehead. “Agreed.”
Silence surrounded us, and I was just dozing off when Jensen kissed the back of my neck.
“What are you doing next weekend?” he whispered.
“Hmmm?” I hummed, not sure I heard him right
.
“Madison, I’d love it if you’d come with me to my sister’s wedding.”
My eyes snapped open and I sat up, startling him. “What?”
“I just thought we could have fun together. It wouldn’t be a date.” He cleared his throat, and I could see how nervous he was about how I might misunderstand the invitation.
I couldn’t explain it, but hearing this felt like a kick to the gut. It shouldn’t have. I knew that. I needed to rein that shit in, because that was all our “relationship” was supposed to be based on. Casual. Fun. No strings. No feelings.
When the feeling dissolved, I smiled. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
The smile that appeared on Jensen’s face was adorable. “Cool. I’ll tell my sister.”
Even though we wouldn’t be attending as a couple, I found myself really excited for a weekend away with Jensen. I could just imagine the possibility for all the “fun” we might have away from the ranch.
“Come on,” Jensen said softly after I yawned. He placed another soft kiss onto the top of my head. “Let’s get some sleep.”
Taking a deep breath, I rested my head on Jensen’s chest and let myself get lost in his scent. His presence, allowed me to relax and forget about earlier long enough to fall asleep.
Chapter 20. The Truth Comes Out
Dark, starry skies filled my dreams that night. Jensen and I lay on the ground in the field, arms around each other as we stared up into the night sky, occasionally stealing a kiss here and there. There was no better feeling than being in his arms, and that feeling only amplified as my eyes fluttered open and I felt the reality of actually being in his arms.
His warm, mostly naked body was pressed firmly to my back; I could feel the hair on his legs against the backs of my calves as we spooned beneath the thick comforter on his bed. I moved slightly, enjoying the feeling of him positioned against my body, and he tightened his grip on me to keep me from pulling away—not that I intended to. I remained still, waiting for his breathing to even out again and his hold on me to relax before I attempted to roll over to face him.
Not anxious to break our connection, I made sure I moved beneath the arm he had draped over my waist so it stayed in place. Resting my hands under my cheek, I observed him, taking in absolutely everything. There was a peaceful look on his face as he continued to sleep, and his dark hair was in complete disarray, causing my fingers to twitch with the urge to reach out and touch it. I didn’t want to tame it, per se; I just wanted to feel it. As my eyes continued on their journey over his features, I took note of the subtle scruff that had appeared overnight and I wondered what it would feel like against my skin. Not on my hand, but everywhere else as he covered my entire body with tender kisses, occasionally nibbling the more sensitive areas.
Unable to control myself anymore, I moved my left hand from under my cheek and reached out, moving a stray piece of his unruly hair off of his forehead before allowing my fingers to ghost over his scruff. He shivered beneath my light touch, and I pulled back immediately, not wanting to wake him or have this moment end. I enjoyed looking at him every day, but I had never seen him like this. So peaceful. So innocent. So delightfully happy.
I remained in his bed for a few more minutes, just enjoying the moment when I finally felt that annoying morning urge to use the bathroom. Very slowly, I shimmied back toward the edge, being sure to not let his arm fall hard to the mattress so he could remain asleep. After taking care of business and brushing my teeth, I ventured barefoot out to the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on and find something for breakfast. Remembering that Jensen quite enjoyed my French toast casserole, I decided on that.
After turning the radio on and keeping the volume at a reasonable level so I didn’t wake him, I began cutting and mixing everything up before putting the casserole in the preheated oven. While it baked, I grabbed a pad of paper and a pen so I could make a grocery list. It hadn’t occurred to me until I was grabbing everything I needed that we were running pretty low on a lot of things; a run to the market was definitely in order.
With my list made and sitting on the island counter for later, I poured a cup of fresh coffee and added my cream and sugar before sipping it slowly. Warmth spread through me as the caffeine kicked in, my heart pumping a little faster, waking me up. Enjoying the early morning buzz, I thought back on the night before. Not the Dane stuff—though it made a brief cameo before I shoved it back down. I focused on the trail ride out to a secluded field with Jensen where we dined and drank wine as we watched the sun set. It was almost too good to be real.
The memory of him asking me to his sister’s wedding made me smile. I couldn’t wait to see what our weekend away might bring. Even though we weren’t together, I wanted to look incredible for him—really drive him wild to make the weekend even more memorable. That was when I remembered I had just bought the perfect dress. How convenient …
Or was it?
I suddenly realized that Willow and Jensen had been alone for a bit during her visit. Could Jensen have said something to her? I wouldn’t be surprised, and she did seem adamant I buy a new dress without an actual reason. That was all the convincing I needed.
“Meddling little fibber,” I muttered, setting my coffee cup down and reaching for the phone to dial Willow. Yes, it was only just after six a.m., but she was likely to be up anyway.
“Hey, Madi!” she chirped into the phone. “What’s up?”
I shrugged, hopping up onto the island and allowing my legs to swing back and forth. “Not much. Jensen and I went on a trail ride last night,” I confessed, my foolish grin returning to my face as I told her everything about our date. Willow ooohed and aaahed, also being sure to reiterate everything to Brandon who had woken up only minutes after I had called.
“Also, I’ve realized that someone claiming to be my best friend kept something fairly huge from me,” I said, my tone only half-serious.
Willow squealed excitedly. “Oh! He asked you! What did you say?”
“I told him it sounded like fun,” I said, the smile on my face so wide it hurt my cheeks. Realizing I still hadn’t confronted Willow for her involvement, I redirected my attention to her. “Wait a minute! How could you not tell me?”
She only giggled. “Well, he never actually told me he was planning to ask you. I just thought you should have a dress on stand-by, just in case.”
Just then Jensen appeared in the kitchen wearing nothing more than a pair of black flannel pajama pants and running his fingers through his hair as his sleepy eyes found mine. “Hey,” he said quietly as he approached me with a sly smile, pushing himself between my legs and kissing me softly while Willow started talking about Brandon’s office party the night before.
“It’s barely seven a.m. Who are you talking to?” he asked quietly, reaching his left hand out for my coffee and taking a sip—a dangerous gesture for most people. His right hand rested on my bare thigh, sending fire through my veins that started where his fingers rested.
“Will,” I whispered before leaning forward and kissing him softly. His breath tasted of mint and coffee, and the scruff that remained on his face delightfully scratched at my skin as he let his lips linger on mine for a moment.
“Mmm,” he moaned quietly before turning toward the phone. “Willow, Madi has to go now.”
Willow’s laugh trilled in my ear as Jensen’s mouth returned to mine. “Okay, Madi. I’ll talk to you later. Have fun,” she sang before hanging up.
After hitting the off button, I let the hand holding the phone fall from my ear, not really hearing the handheld clatter to the floor when I dropped it to fist Jensen’s soft hair. Simultaneously, our mouths opened and our tongues met enthusiastically as my legs tightened and pulled Jensen closer to me. His hands gripped my bare thighs before moving up and under the bottom of our shirt (so maybe I was willing to share it … as long as it smelled like him) until he was tugging at the sides of my panties.
Scooting toward the edge of the island’s countert
op, I moaned when I felt Jensen’s thumbs move under the thin cotton fabric and toward the pulsing between my legs. “Fuck,” I mumbled into his mouth as I thrust my hips forward, forcing his right thumb to make first contact. It was like the motherfucking moon landing, and I wanted him to plant his flag in me.
He started to pull back, almost as though he realized this was quickly escalating to something we both knew we shouldn’t be doing. “Madison, I hate to admit this, but I don’t have any condoms.” He seemed so upset with himself, which could only mean he wanted to have his way with me just as much as I did.
In a flash, my left hand moved up to the back of his bicep, holding his right hand in place inside my panties. I grunted, resisting the urge to unabashedly hump his hand again. “We can do other things—non-sex things—to each other. Please,” I whined pathetically. “I can’t take this anymore.”
Without any further hesitation, Jensen stopped trying to pull away, instead pressing his lips to mine with need as his fingers travelled to where I had been craving his touch for weeks.
“Oh, god,” he sighed into my open mouth before his fingers slid slowly—deliciously and painfully slow—between my legs, pushing me further and further toward the release that would swallow me whole soon enough.
As his fingers played me like a piano, his hips moved of their own accord, seeking anything they could to feel half as good as he was making me feel in that moment. Releasing his hair from my grasp, I moved my hand down his neck, his arm, and over his abs before I teased the waist of his pants, tugging on them lightly.
“Do it,” he demanded gruffly, biting my lower lip hard and making me whimper as I plunged my hand into his pants, wrapping it around his thick length for the first time ever.
It twitched in my grasp as I thrust toward the base, and Jensen grunted as he released my lip from his teeth. Upon opening my eyes, I saw that his were more intense than I’d ever seen them. Holding his stare, I continued to move my hand up and down his length, watching him fight the natural urge to let his eyes roll back in his head with every pass my palm made over the head.