"Green...um...green is…"
"My favorite," Graham growls. "It means she's in the mood for—"
"Stricken from the record," Lorenzo interrupts, taking a long, slow sip from his beer. "I already can't erase that attempt at sexting. You heard about that?" Lorenzo groans, nodding to Graham.
Graham laughs, throwing his head back and massages Soraya's shoulder.
"I did. Don't make me divulge the shit I saw you do throughout your teenage years, son. Poor Jenna over here won't be able to erase that either."
Graham winks at me and I laugh, taking a sip from my wine.
"Where's Chloe?" Lorenzo asks, his attempt to change the subject.
"She brought her new beau around the city," Soraya says with an edge to her voice.
"Not a fan?" Lorenzo responds.
"Not even a little bit," Soraya deadpans.
Lorenzo sighs, finishing off his beer as he reaches for a plate and nods to me.
"Well this food isn't gonna eat itself. Welcome to a good old fashioned Italian Christmas Eve afternoon feast. I hope you brought your appetite, Watson. You got many more rounds before the day is done."
My eyes widen as I take in the professional looking food display in front of me. I'm unsure what I'm even looking at as I feel all eyes on me and I smile, shrugging my shoulders.
"I um...I eat pretty much anything so…"
Lorenzo takes my plate from me, piling one of everything on top of it and hands it back to me, motioning for us to sit at the dining room table.
"My ma makes the best bruschetta I've ever had in my life. That's what that is there," he says, pointing to a tomato, onion type salad on top of what looks like a big dried up piece of bread. "Stuffed mushrooms, even if you don't like mushrooms you have to eat the inside, it's deadly. Antipasto, galamad, linguini with clam sauce, shrimp scampi and eggplant rollatini."
"Holy crap," I whisper, unsure if I'll be able to even eat the rest of the week after this meal.
"Wait until dinner."
"This isn't dinner?" I gasp.
"Nope, just lunch. You like fish?"
"Sure."
"Seven fishes. I'm going to have to roll you to the airport in a few days," Lorenzo says with a wink.
I lift my fork, digging into the food and look around at Lorenzo and his parents; I can't help but feel a longing. He grew up with all of this love, all of this warmth, surrounded by family. I've never felt the way I do right now during one of the happiest times of the year. It's always been about just getting through it, but right now, I don't want this to ever end.
He jokes with his father, his mother chiming in as Graham pulls her to him, kissing her on the forehead and Lorenzo smiles, rolling his eyes.
Too soon my happiness bubble bursts as I remember the reason this could never be me. It almost was once, before it was torn all away from me. Picturing Soraya and Graham on Christmas without their son rips my heart to pieces and I dip my head, focusing on my food, trying not to let my emotions show.
After a few minutes of composure, I lift my head, connecting with three sets of eyes and I clear my throat.
I recognize pity on their faces and give them all a small smile, focusing on finishing my food. Lorenzo squeezes my thigh from underneath the table and in a few seconds he excuses us, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the condo.
He hugs me, enveloping me in an embrace I so desperately needed and I take a deep breath in, his scent calming me.
"They're a lot sometimes, I'm sorry."
I adamantly shake my head, breaking our hug.
"Not at all, they're amazin’. I just...it's been a very, very long time since I spent this holiday with someone other than myself."
He has no idea that the last Christmas I spent was with Fynn and a week later he was ripped away from me, leaving me not only with a scar on my knee but one over my heart.
"Let's embrace the crazy, Jenna Watson. There is no place like New York City during the holidays."
He gives me his elbow as I laugh, slipping my arm inside and we ride down to the lobby. Once out on the street, he nods to the right as we walk and come upon stairs to go underground. I pull him back, giving him an unsure stare but he squeezes my hand.
"It's just the subway, Jenna. I promise I'll keep you safe."
I sigh, nodding as we take the stairs down into the dark concrete hall and emerge to droves of people walking through turnstiles, standing at the edges of the train platforms.
The rumbling of a train speeding down one of the tracks has me almost jumping into Lorenzo's arms and he laughs, pulling me tight.
"This is how my parents met," he yells over the noise.
"How?" I ask, "trying not to shit their pants waitin’ for the train?"
His laugh rattles something inside my heart and I smile at the sound.
"My dad left his phone on the train and my ma found it. He was kind of a douche when she tried to return it so she snapped a few...well the same stupid ass pictures she accidentally sent me the other day. They kept going back and forth over text and the rest is history."
"Are you serious? That's too funny."
"Kind of like how our relationship started. Behind a screen before the face-to-face good stuff."
I laugh and realize we made it onto the train and I'm sitting next to Lorenzo, arm in arm and shake my head at him.
"Did that really happen or was that just the distraction I needed?" I whisper.
"Nope. Really happened. Ask them yourself when we get back. That's actually why my ma has her tongue pierced. My dad was a big dickhead in his office, refusing to see her when she tried to return his phone, so she convinced my Aunt Del to pierce her tongue. She's impulsive," Lorenzo laughs.
I press my lips together, trying to stifle a laugh and squeeze his arm tighter, resting my head on his shoulder.
"You've had the epitome of love growin’ up. Do you want that? Married with little rugrats crawlin’ around?" I ask softly, trying to picture Lorenzo with a wife and children but nausea replaces the warm fuzzy feeling.
He sighs, leaning his cheek on top of my head and extends his legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles.
"I envy them and sure I want that but that's why I don't have it yet. I never looked at a woman the way my father looks at my ma. When I do, I'll settle down but it just hasn't happened yet. I wanna do it once, I don't wanna fuck it up."
I nod, understanding exactly what he's saying because I always got that from Lorenzo, the raw honesty. He never seemed like the guy that just never wanted to settle down, but more of the guy that was picky about what he wanted.
"Good for you," I reply. "You shouldn't settle. You deserve what your parents have, you're an amazin’ guy. Maybe a little gun shy but…"
He gasps, whipping around at me with fire in his eyes and I laugh, covering my mouth with my hand.
"I think I more than made up for it this weekend, Watson and if you're unsure about my stamina, I will gladly remind you."
I arch an eyebrow as the train comes to a stop and Lorenzo looks up through the window and curses, grabs my hand, pulls us out quickly.
I stumble behind him, gripping him like my life depends on it as we jog across the platform to get on another train.
"Where are we goin’?" I ask with confusion.
"You'll see."
He smiles and after a few more stops and one more train transfer, we ascend the subway stairs up to the busy city streets.
The air is chillier today than it was during the weekend up in Lake George and I know it’s preparing us for what's to come tonight; a solid foot of snow according to the forecast.
Lorenzo and I walk side by side, arm and arm and when we turn the corner of a street, my eyes lock onto the biggest Christmas tree I've ever seen in my entire life.
"Holy. Shit," I gasp, slowing my steps to a screeching halt, craning my neck to take in the famous Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
I let out an umph as something hard barrels into my ba
ck and Lorenzo grabs me, keeping me from smashing my face on the sidewalk.
"Keep it movin', short stack. Can't just stop in the middle of the fuckin' street," a strong New York accented voice growls from behind me.
I look over my shoulder, eyebrows furrowed before Lorenzo pushes the man, causing him to stumble over his feet and reach for a nearby bench.
"Where's your Christmas spirit, dick head. She's a tourist, leave her alone. Fuckin' Grinch," Lorenzo barks, towering over the man thats trying to pick himself up off the bench.
The man's eyes darken as he attempts to step to Lorenzo but Lorenzo doesn't move a muscle and the man backs away, flipping him off as he turns to leave.
"Asshole," Lorenzo mutters, walking back over to me. "Sorry about that guy, are you okay?"
He holds me out at arms length, examining me to make sure I'm okay and I shake my head.
"I'm fine, it's okay. Thank you for catchin’ me."
"New York is still New York despite the holiday," he grumbles. "You're always going to encounter one asshole a day living here, that's what my ma always said."
"Never thought she'd marry one of them, huh?" I laugh, trying to ease the frustration written all over Lorenzo's face.
His demeanor cracks as he gives me the smile I wanted and shoves at my shoulder.
"That's funny, Watson, I gotta tell her that."
We come to a stop in front of the enormous tree and I look up, watching the lights twinkle, the chill of the air biting my soft cheeks. I feel something warm envelope my head and realize Lorenzo has put his beanie on me and I smile, pulling it down a little further.
"Thank you. Are you sure your head isn't gonna be too cold?"
"My head is quite warm actually," he whispers in my ear, causing me to bite my tongue, holding back a moan.
"Want me to take your picture?" a voice from behind us interrupts and Lorenzo takes a step back, looking over his shoulder.
A teenage girl gushes at us, covering her mouth as she bounces on her heels.
"Oh my God, oh my God," she chants. "It's...you're Jenna and Enzo! I...I'm gonna die! I watched your live video last year and have been dying for your new book!"
My cheeks heat, never being recognized like this before and I'm unsure what to do. I break Lorenzo's hold from next to me but he keeps me tight to his hip, smiling.
"We are! Lucky for you we finished it this weekend. Would you mind? That would be awesome."
Lorenzo hands his phone to the girl and she nods enthusiastically, taking his phone as Lorenzo wraps an arm around my shoulder, turning us to face the girl.
We smile, allowing the girl to take our picture and then Lorenzo walks toward her, asking her if she wants to take a picture with us.
The girl squeals, maneuvering herself between me and Lorenzo as he turns the camera around, taking a selfie.
The girl thanks us as Lorenzo promises to send her the picture through Instagram and a signed copy of our first book. I eye him, smiling.
"What?"
"That was super cool of you."
"Of us," he corrects. "That's never happened to me before, that was wild."
"It was, right? Thank you for takin’ me here. It was incredible to see this in real life."
"Of course. Can't be a trip to NYC without one more thing though. Come on."
He loops my arm through his as we walk along the crowded sidewalk, taking the subway a few stops and emerging back up to the street, the unmistakable red and white Macy's sign directly in front of me.
"What?" I gasp, turning to Lorenzo, wondering if this was just a coincidence or he did this on purpose.
"Let me take a picture of you. You can say you stood here when you watch the parade with Paisley next year."
It wasn't just a coincidence. He remembered when I confessed my obsession with watching the Macy's Day Parade every Thanksgiving, the only happy memories of my childhood I took with me all of these years.
I wipe at a tear trying to break free and smile, standing in front of Macy's, lifting my arms with a big smile as Lorenzo takes my picture.
"Gorgeous."
He presses a few buttons on my phone then hands it back to me, grabbing my arm again as we walk inside.
Nothing could have prepared me for the wave of warmth walking into that store, the Christmas music, the decorations, the signature perfume smell every single Macy's has.
"Wow," I whisper in awe. "I feel like Buddy the Elf right now," I laugh, running my fingers along all the clothes on the racks.
"Pick out something," Lorenzo says, nodding at the women's section.
"No, that's okay. I'm more of a window shopper."
I continue to walk through the store, down the perfume aisles, smelling all the different samples and move along to the jewelry section.
I was never one for fancy things and even bringing in the money we did with our first release, I never splurged. I didn’t spend a lot on my three bedroom fixer upper, still live in my small Nashville apartment, drive my black Jeep Wrangler and still have the same Android phone I've been rocking the past three years. I may have splurged on a pair of heels because what woman doesn't own one pair of "fuck me pumps" that she only brings out for super special occasions?
Although, I've never actually been fucked in my "fuck me pumps", I have them just in case.
Paisley and I don’t exchange gifts on Christmas, a request I’ve stuck to, despite her complaints. I’ve lived without gifts for so long, it’s not like I’m missing anything.
I squeeze my eyes shut, my brain firing in fifteen different directions right now and a strong hand on my back makes me flinch.
"You good? This wasn't too much, was it?"
"No," I say quickly. "It was super sweet of you, thank you. I...just need a little air I think. It's really warm in here."
"Of course. I just need to get a gift for my ma. I'm always a last minute shopper and she's the hardest to shop for. Want to wait outside? There's a security guard by the door or…"
"Yes, that's fine. I'll meet you out there."
Lorenzo squeezes my hand and I walk back out to the exit door, sucking in a deep breath of cold air, needing it to calm my racing pulse.
Flashes of this weekend come back to me, being here in the city, standing outside Macy's, being with Lorenzo and the Morgans...it's all too much, sensory overload.
I focus on the people coming and going, all different types of people, smiles on their faces, some scowling, a man dancing with big headphones covering his ears.
I close my eyes, taking deep breaths in and letting them out slow to get my bearings.
You’re safe. You’re here.
I hear the unmistakable sound of a bell and open my eyes, seeing a young man with a Santa hat standing in front of a red bucket, ringing the brass bell back and forth as people stop, tossing bills into the bucket. I look up at the Macy's sign, seeing the security guard standing a few feet away and grip my purse, quickly making my way to the red bucket.
"Hi. What are you collectin' money for?" I ask.
"Salvation Army, ma'am. Everything and anything for people who don't have much during this joyous time of the year."
I nod, reaching into my purse and toss a twenty dollar bill into the bucket as the young man thanks me, giving me a candy cane.
"Thank you."
"Thank you, ma'am. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you too."
I smile at him, turning back toward Macy's and stop in my tracks when I lock eyes with Lorenzo, leaning against the brick of the building.
"You never cease to amaze me, Jenna Watson. Come on. Ma already called me three times making sure we'd be back for dinner."
We lock arms again, walking back to the subway and taking the endless amounts of trains back to the Morgan condo. I felt safe enough with Lorenzo to fall asleep against his shoulder on the last train and he softly pushes at my shoulder when we finally arrive.
After cleaning up and taking a quick nap, we sit down for Ch
ristmas Eve dinner, seven different types of fish all on display but I glance over at the two empty plates opposite Lorenzo and me.
"Chloe is caught up in the city. I guess the new beau forgot he made plans with a few friends. She'll be spending the day with us tomorrow," Soraya answers my question, without me having to even utter the words aloud.
I feel more comfortable this time at dinner, letting myself be a part of conversations and discussions and even a joke or two as I cover my mouth to keep from spitting out my food at Soraya imitating Graham when they first met.
"He's got this irritating habit of clicking his watch and I always picture smashing it to tiny frigging pieces every time I see it sitting on his dresser," Soraya admits.
"You know how I feel about that wise ass mouth," Graham mumbles to Soraya.
"You love it, asshole," she whispers back.
"Lorenzo, you do that too!" I gasp, realizing he was doing it on the train back home right before I fell asleep.
"What? I don't."
"You know what? You do," Graham laughs.
My stomach cramps with laughter as Lorenzo scoffs, shaking his head as his parents start to joke with him and I chime in. This is...nice. This is way too nice and I need to remember why my feelings need to be locked in a box and never taken out.
Chapter 10
Jenna
I toss and turn in the guest bedroom, replaying the day over in my head. Exploring the city with Lorenzo, his confessions, being around his parents...I’m falling for him. This isn’t just the need for him to touch me, the need for him to be inside me anymore, it’s the need to be near him. The desire to see that boyish smile paint his face and hear his rough laugh invade my body every single day.
“Crap,” I whisper, getting to my feet as I open the bedroom door and pad down the hall to the kitchen.
I could go to Lorenzo's room, we're adults after all, but something about it feels disrespectful and being with him is the problem, not the solution.
I jump with a squeal when I see a dark figure sitting at the large kitchen island sipping from a steaming mug.
Bestselling Bastard : A Hero Club Novel Page 11