by Cass Kim
Renna’s phone chimed again from the arm of the couch, drawing her away from the window and her scrutiny of the yard. She had three new texts from Alyssa: Girl, where are you? Followed by: Rennoodleboodle answer your damn phone! And lastly: If you don’t text or call in the next five minutes I’m coming over, sunset or not. Renna snickered, because that was such an Alyssa thing to say. If Renna was a homebody, Alyssa was the closest thing to opposite she could be while still being her best friend.
Glancing at the time stamp Renna quickly typed back, Better not get in your car – all good here. Was dealing with T.T.
The typing bubble appeared instantly, That rascally little T.T. he’s lucky he’s so soft. I’ma call you in five – big news!
To Alyssa, almost everything was big news. It was part of why Renna loved her. She was an all in or all out kind of person. When Renna’s dad died, Alyssa was by Renna’s side, sobbing as if the world had ended for her as well. A few days later, she was wholeheartedly into something new. That might’ve bothered some people, when their best friend stopped being sad over something so big, so quickly, but for Renna, Alyssa was the perfect getaway from real life. When they were together Renna could be swept up in Alyssa’s enthusiasm and step away from her own life. When Alyssa was boy crazy, Renna was her sidekick, analyzing each move in stalker-like detail. When Alyssa wanted to stop brushing her hair and grow dreads, Renna sat for hours trying to roll Alyssa’s baby fine blond hair into locks. When Alyssa defied her parents and drove places just after dawn, or just before dusk, Renna watched from facetime, heart pounding despite how safe their town had been the past three years. Being best friends with Alyssa was the only way Renna felt brave. Like reading a really good book and living the adventure, just a little on the outside.
Renna clutched her phone in her hand and peaked out the window again. There was still a wide swatch of buttery sunlight cutting across the yard, encompassing the garden and the short walk to it. Maybe she should just dart out quickly and latch it. She studied the edges of the yard in each direction as far as the doorway would allow. All was still. There was nothing out of place, and no movement aside from the gentle swaying of pine boughs in the late summer breeze. Renna reached one hand out to the bar locking the door in place and froze midway. She couldn’t do this. No, she could. She just didn’t want to. But she should. Benjamin spent hours in that garden every spring. Even her mom spent time out there weeding on the rare day she got home during daylight hours or didn’t sleep at work if she couldn’t beat the sunset home. Her phone rang, making her jump and swat the bar out of place. The clang as it hit the ground made her jump a second time.
“Jeepers, Renna, get yourself together.” She muttered to herself before sliding a thumb across her phone to accept the call from Alyssa.
Before Renna even greeted her Alyssa was chattering away, “Renna, you won’t believe it! Finally, somebody is doing it. I can’t believe it’s taken almost a year since the last attack for somebody to do it!” she squealed into Renna’s ear, barely pausing to breathe. “It’s my number one high school dream, and it’s actually happening at the start of our senior year! Ah! I can’t even contain myself! It’s just like the movies before the change happened!”
“Lyss, Lyss, wait a second. Calm it down. What’s happening?” Renna slowly inched the door open, feeling braver just having her best friend on the other end of the phone.
“A real life honest-to-God high school party!”
“We’ve been to plenty of parties already.” Renna inched the copper screen to the side, ducking her head out to peer around to the corners of the house.
“No Renna. You don’t get it.” Alyssa’s voice dropped low and serious, “Rennoodle it’s a night time party. A real night time party. A Saturday night party! The kind where we sneak out and there’s booze and it’s so secret that no parents will ever know.”
Renna dodged to the chicken coop, fingers dancing along the wires and latching the door. She darted back toward the house before the words registered. A real party. Like before. When movies showed kids staying out, having huge parties. She slid the copper door back in place and rested her head briefly on the inside, feeling the last of the sun as it cooled and dipped below the tree line.
“Did you hear me? Earth to Renna! You better not even start making excuses. Just stop whatever you are thinking and just say yes.”
Wedging the rod back in place, Renna pulled the blinds and breathed out a sigh. One down, one dragon of a best friend to face now. “Lyss, we are not sneaking out after dark.”
She laughed in delight, “That’s the best part. We all arrive just before sunset, and the doors and screens are all locked before the sun is down. We stay all night, and leave in the morning when the sun rises!”
“That might actually work.” Renna felt a kernel of excitement building in her gut. “But where's it at?”
“Just say yes. Don’t even worry about the details. I’ll pick you up. Come on Rennoodle-doodle-bgoodle I swear to you that it will be safe. It’s a once in a lifetime chance. You don’t want to be eighty and wishing you’d lived when you still had wrinkle free skin.”
“Might be better than seventeen and skin that’s half ripped off my body.” Renna made the gruesome threat half-heartedly, already aware she’d say yes. Just this once, she wanted to actually be brave, not pretend to be while watching through her friend.
Alyssa knew her voice too well, “Oh my gosh! Be ready by this time tomorrow. Be ready like, ten minutes before this. Just be ready by 6:30pm. And Renna – look hot. Actually. I’ll bring you a dress. Jess is calling, gotta go! See you at six!”
Chapter Two
“Jeremy’s house? C’mon, Lyss. You couldn’t have at least warned me?” Renna flipped down the passenger side visor to check her make-up one more time as Alyssa swung the car into the long driveway leading up to Jeremy Bennett’s single story ranch house. Renna used her ring finger to smudge at the smoky eyeliner rimming her eyes just a little more as they parked on the grass along-side the other cars behind the fringe of trees hiding the yard from the road.
“What? I knew if I told you where we were going you’d say no.” Alyssa tilted her sepia toned eyes up at her from beneath her lashes. “I told you to look hot. And You do. No harm no foul.” She flashed her a cheeky grin and scanned the yard before swinging her long legs out of the car.
Renna checked the mirror on her side and looked around carefully before opening her own door. The sun was still hovering above the treetops, casting the world in a sheen of gold. She tugged self consciously on the hemline of the too-short dress Alyssa had shoved her into before hustling her out the door. As she rounded the car she couldn’t help but burst out laughing at her friend staggering one step at a time across the lush lawn, each long knife-thin heel sinking into the ground, only to be carefully pulled back out with her next step.
“Stop laughing and help me walk. We gotta scope out who’s here on the way in.” Alyssa held her left arm out like a queen awaiting her escort as Renna reached her side.
“Now do you see why I think heels are an outdated invention for people who didn’t have to worry about being prey?” She tucked her should under Alyssa’s arm and looped an arm around her waist.
“Yeah, but girl, nobody’s going to kill somebody with killer legs.” Alyssa giggled and shimmied her hips. “I see Jess’s car, and Joe’s already. Evan parked at the end over there,” Alyssa bounced her chin toward a lifted truck that couldn’t be fully hidden by the young trees lining the quiet road the Bennett’s lived on.
“I don’t even know half of the cars here. Are you sure it’s just people from our school?” Cupboard Lake High was a small school set in the forests of the Adirondack. With a town population of only six thousand, the class size was small enough that you had to try really hard not to know everything about everybody.
Alyssa leaned her head against the top of Renna’s and squeezed her closer, “I’m pretty sure I never told you it would be our class
mates only. I said it would be a party. And it is. A big party! It’s time you met somebody who didn’t grow up in Cupboard Lake. Show Jeremy he’s an idiot.” She lifted her head and started toward the house, dragging Renna along by her waist. “And a loser. He’s definitely a loser.”
The girls crossed the wide porch and let themselves into the house, music already blasting so loud they knew knocking would be pointless. Renna automatically toed off her ballet style flats and looked pointedly at Alyssa.
“Oh no, girl. I did not wear these shoes just to take them off. His parents aren’t even home. Margaret is not going to come out of the kitchen to praise you for being polite.”
Renna was about to scold Alyssa for calling Mrs. Bennett by her first name, a habit she had never liked in her friend, when Jeremy waltzed out of the living room at the end of the hall, a red solo cup in hand. The sight of him simultaneously made her stomach drop and her heart jump into her throat. She’d gotten pretty good at avoiding him in the school hallways for the last few weeks of the school year, and had only run into him once this summer thanks to Alyssa’s spying and warnings about what he and his friends were up to. She had resumed her avoidance again fairly easily at the start of the school year since they seemed to have nothing in common now that he’d broken her heart and started seeing girls from other schools.
“Ladies!” Jeremy sauntered closer, both arms held out like he thought he was going to get a hug from each of them. “So glad you could make it.”
Alyssa leaned close to Renna’s ear to give her a soft pep talk as her neared, “Stop tugging at your dress. You’re hot. He’s an idiot. Remind him.”
Renna immediately unclenched the hands she hadn’t even felt drifting to the dress hem, straightening her shoulders. “Thanks for having us.”
Jeremy’s gaze ran up her legs slowly, then along the tiny hot pink dress, until his eyes met hers. “Renna.” He reached his free hand out and rolled one of her brown curls around his finger, like he’d done a million times before. “Why don’t you ever come around anymore? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. My Mom misses you at dinner.”
She kept her voice light with effort as she spoke through gritted teeth, “Gee, I don’t know Jeremy. Maybe it was that time when you broke up with me in front of half the school and said I was boring.”
He raised his eyebrows and gave her his most innocent smile, “Oh come on, Rennie. I didn’t say boring.” He leaned closer, and she smelled the familiar scent of his deodorant and shampoo mixed with the lemony scent that always clung to him. “I don’t think I’d say such a hurtful thing.”
“No, the word you used was ‘dull’,” Renna cut in, struggling to remain indifferent to his charm. When Jeremy gave you attention, you felt special. The problem was that once he’d realized he could have that effect on more than just her, he had made a lot of girls feel special. Even before ending their almost two year relationship.
“Let’s not live in the details, Rennie. I’m glad you’re here. Can’t we just let bygones be bygones. Look at Alyssa,” he turned his gaze to the taller girl as she craned her neck to look past him, eager to join the crowd. “Let’s get Lyssie here a drink. I think we can all have a good time tonight. I was just about to start shuttering the doors, so you girls are just in time.” He favored Renna with a smile again.
“Yeah, cool.” Alyssa cut in. “You know Jeremy, when you call us ‘you girls’ you sound like an old man. Renna and I are the same age as you, and we are ‘ladies.’ Oh, and only people who are too dumb to believe in global warming still use plastic cups, you big dumb penis.” Alyssa grabbed Renna’s hand and pulled her past Jeremy.
“Uh…thanks?” He stared after them. “I mean. Yeah. It is.”
Renna quirked an eyebrow at Alyssa as she dragged her down the hall, “You know he thinks you just said he has a big…you know?”
Alyssa sighed, “Look, I’m trying to cut back on my cursing. It’s not having a good effect on my insult game. Anyways, it’s called a penis… or a cock… or a dick. What are you five still?” Once they were a few steps away she continued in a softer voice, “Renna, you gave in to him the second he gave you the look! I saw you melting right in front of my eyes. I thought you had more spine than that. Tonight, by my honor as your bestie, you will!” She shoved her long hair back behind her shoulder as they entered the living room. “Now, let’s get you some liquid courage.”
Two shots and a few beers later, the world was pleasantly fuzzy. Renna couldn't care less if the other kids at the party were the same ones she grew up with, or kids from the neighboring schools that she had never met before. She almost didn’t care that Jeremy had his arm around some blond girl from somewhere else. Or that Alyssa had roped her into taking her spot at beer pong so she could go make out with some guy they’d only ever seen when their schools played each other in basketball.
“Cha ching! Got it! Drink, Nenna!” The ping pong ball splashed into the cup in front of her.
“It’s Renna, like Arrrr I’m a pirate!” she called across the table to the short red headed guy she was playing. She waved off his laughing apology as she tipped the cup into her mouth, pulling the ping pong ball out after she’d drained it. The beer didn’t even taste gross anymore. Were all parties like this? Awkward at first, then fun. It was like a sleepover with a huge group of friends. Loud friends. Some of them a little smelly. But most of them just so nice and fun!
Once they finished the game, which she lost by only one cup, she had to give up her spot to a willowy girl with black hair and sparkling fake eyelashes. She wandered over towards the couch, sipping on the full beer that had ended up in her hand at the end of the game.
“Hey Nenna,” the red haired dude from across the pong table was at her side like magic, grinning at her. “Great game! I can’t believe that was your first time playing.”
“Oh,” she felt oddly flattered. “Thanks. I played a lot of horse shoes as a kid. Oh, uh… it’s Renna, not Nenna.” She took a long drag from the cup, the beer sliding across her tongue easily.
“I know.” He grabbed her hand and led her over to the dining room table. It was covered with cups and bottles and bowls full of pretzels and crackers. Renna tried to shove aside the memories of dinners here with Jeremy’s family. Or of taking photos before junior prom, with the decorated table behind them.
The red haired boy grinned at her, “I just thought it was cute when you said ‘arrr like a pirate’ and I was hoping for a repeat performance.” He leaned closer and she could smell the beer on his breath. “Let’s do a shot together. You look really pretty.” He slipped an arm around her waist, his hand landing midway between her lower back and the upper curve of her butt.
She looked around for Alyssa, hoping she’d come back by now. This guy was nice and all, but she wasn’t here for a hook up. Unfortunately, the gaze that caught her looking around was not Alyssa’s.
“Renna, you should introduce me to your new friend.” Jeremy was off the couch and leaning a hip against the side of the table faster than if she’d called him over. He was standing just a little closer to Renna than a friend would be.
“Since when do you care?” Renna leaned in a little closer to the red haired boy.
“Come on now, Renna. It was never how much I did or didn’t care. You were just never this Renna. Look at you, having drinks and coming out to a party…with alcohol.” He stage whispered the last word.
“You seem perfectly fun to me,” the boy tightened his arm around Renna, planting a sloppy, swaying, kiss on her neck.
Jeremy’s gaze frosted over. “I thought I heard you mentioning shots. How about you pour one for all three of us, Renna’s new pal?”
They stared at each other for a beat too long before the red head dropped his gaze, “Yeah, sure man. Vodka cool?” he began lining up shot glasses, not seeming to care if they’d already been used or not.
“Sure man, sounds good. So, Renna?” Jeremy leaned into her, but kept his voice intentionally loud, �
�Who is this handsome young fellow? He seems very… friendly.” Jeremy smirked smugly at her.
Renna normally would have felt awkward both from Jeremy’s possessive behavior and from not knowing this guy’s name, but the alcohol had smoothed the edges of her embarrassment. All she really wanted was to make Jeremy feel as small as he’d made her feel.
“Geez, Jeremy, last I checked you are just fine at introducing yourself to other people. Just because he’s not your type doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly. Just go back to your girlfriend on the couch. Should I warn her that you’ll just cheat on her too?” Her voice was suddenly louder. The people nearby had stopped talking and dancing, watching them. She wasn’t embarrassed anymore. She was suddenly so angry with him. She wanted to hit him. She had loved him so much, and he had just moved on like it was nothing.
Jeremy laughed long and hard. “Oh Renna. It’s cute when you try to be like Alyssa. But you can’t even say something mean when you’re trying.” He reached out to pat her shoulder and she shoved his hand way, now close to tears. She grabbed two of the shot glasses off the table and drained them one after the other before stalking down the hallway toward the bathroom.
When she got to the second door on the left, there was a line of three girls waiting. They stared at her, tears starting down her face. One of them was jiggling her leg slightly like she really had to pee. After a moment of strange silence, she continued past them to the door at the end where she knew Jeremy’s parents had a bathroom attached to their bedroom. There were a few kids leaning against the corners of the door jambs, talking with their faces close together She shouldered the door open without knocking and saw a blur of half-naked bodies tangled together. Maybe it was just two. It was getting hard to tell. She wasn’t sure if her vision was blurred from the tears or the alcohol. Probably both. Making an inarticulate noise she slammed the door shut again, backing down the hall to the entrance way. She just needed some space. Space and fresh air. What time was it? It felt like she had been there for ages. Maybe it was getting close to dawn and she could just duck outside. Just for a moment. Just so she could stop spinning.