by Cass Kim
After another heavy silence, he grabbed the rubber handle of the pot and poured soup into each person’s mug. Alyssa didn’t know what to say. Words would be empty comfort.
As they passed the steaming mugs around, Kina sat up straighter, her reflective eyes trained on Alyssa. “You remember for us.”
“For us,” echoed Shelly.
“Brother: Bradley. Died in camp, died in Change.” Kina stated, her words as jerky as her movements.
“Mother: Mallory. CDC scientist. Also dead in the camp. From Change.” Shelly’s rate and rhythm was so similar to Kina’s that if Alyssa hadn’t seen her lips moving across the fire, she wouldn’t have known which sister had spoken.
Alyssa nodded.
“Remember!” Kina leaned in, voice fierce.
“Remember,” Shelly repeated, voice a soft echo.
Alyssa nodded again meeting their eyes. “I will remember. I will remember Bradley and Mallory.”
“Megan,” grunted Andre, voice crackling and harsh with the effort. “Sister. Megan.”
“Edison. Husband. Edison.” Yvette’s tears left glittering trails down her face.
Waiting to see if they would add details, Alyssa nodded solemnly.
When the other Wilders began slurping at their cooling soup, Emerson spoke up across the fire. “If something happens. I mean, it’s a long trek home still. If something happens.” He looked into his cup for a long moment, brows a crumpled line of shadows. “Remember Thomas.”
Alyssa sipped at her soup, feeling overwhelmed with the loss each person had suffered. This disease was more than school drills and momentary nightmare provoking fights for life. The people in the camp had sacrificed everything to try to find a cure. And what had she done? Cleaned some dishes. Gone on a hike. She looked up from her soup. All six sets of eyes were trained on her.
“I will remember. Elizabeth. Lorabelle. Bradley. Mallory. Megan. Edison. Thomas. I won’t forget them. I will speak their names.” She met the bright eyes one at a time. She would remember them. And she would get the supplies they needed to keep the camp working until the Government arrived. No matter what she had to do.
14
Renna
Renna woke in a haze. After a few long moments listening to her own heartbeat she could make out muffled speech near her head. Prying her eyelids apart, she squinted against bright lights shining down on her.
What was going on? As her brain registered the rest of her body, she tried to think through the pain dancing between her head and overly tensed neck and shoulder muscles. Was she laying on a metal table? Turning her head from the glare of the lights, she saw blurry white coats through the tears streaming down her face.
Renna instructed her arm to wipe her tears, but the limb was stuck in place. She tugged at it, with no benefit. Grunting in frustration, she tried the other arm. No movement. Concentrating, Renna realized that she couldn’t feel much besides heaviness below her ribcage or past her shoulders. Panic set in, and she thrashed her legs but only succeeded in wiggling her upper torso and tossing her head back and forth.
Fearing she was paralyzed, she pushed harder, grunting and groaning with effort. The nearest doctor turned and held her head in place with firm hands.
“Stop. There’s no benefit to that. I know the metal and electricity hurts, but we need to see what we are doing, or you could be paralyzed for life. Isn’t it worth the discomfort to know this is only temporary?” His voice was saccharine condescension. “It’s so very interesting how, even with your nerves disconnected from your brain, your muscles can still tense like that.” He gestured for the other white coat in the tent, “Take that sample to the geneticist here, verify that his name is Dr. Blake before you hand it over.” His voice held a familiar command.
The tent door unzipped, and they were alone.
Renna gathered her piecemeal thoughts. “What the hell is going on? What have you done to me?” She wanted to push her voice out strong and demanding, but it betrayed her, coming out in a gasping croak.
“We’re here to help. Your vaccine is imperfect. I am here to perfect it. I would consider being a little nicer about it, but the world is on borrowed time. As you know.” He turned to peer into a microscope.
Renna squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the pain and panic into a tiny box in her head. The therapist she’d gotten to see for five sessions following her Father’s death had tried to teach her this technique. It hadn’t worked then, but she’d be damned if she couldn’t find a way to figure this out. The last thing she remembered was…running through the woods in a panic.
Breathing deeply, Renna forced her mind to travel back, to create clarity. She had been trying to see what all the noise was about. Gunshots. What the gunshots were about.
“Are you with the National Guard?” She opened her eyes to try to get an idea of his physical reaction.
He chuckled. “Ah. So you remember the guns. No, we’re not with the National Guard. We’re mostly scientists, with a few muscles to keep your kind in line.”
“My kind?” She closed her eyes, unable to gather useful information in the too bright room.
“The experiments. Some of you are awfully strong. Some of you are useless to our work and had to be put down. But a few of you are priceless to this endeavor.”
She felt his body heat when he moved closer again. She opened her eyes to a flash of silver as he leaned in, then a needle pricked her skin, a familiar burning at this point in her life.
“Why can’t I feel my legs? Why can’t I move my arms? What did you mean I could be paralyzed? Is my brother safe?” The box in her mind sprang open in a surge of begging questions, taking all strategy with it.
He slid the needle out of her arm and pressed gauze firmly in place as he answered. “We’re taking spinal fluid samples. And, as always, blood samples.” He gestured airily at her arm with the needle. “We’ve nerve blocked you just far enough down that you can still breath, and high enough that you can’t endanger us. Don’t fear, you feral little creature. It will wear off in another hour or two.”
He turned away, letting the gauze stay in place without pressure. His words echoed in her head. Some of you are useless and had to be put down.
“And my brother? The Wilders in the tents?” If she hadn’t already hated this man for how he was treating her as nothing more than an inhuman experiment, she would hate him for forcing her plead for information.
“Ah, yes. He will be useful indeed. Improving on this vaccine will be much easier with your existence. The two of you together, a rare pair. Do not worry. You’ll be seeing him very soon.”
Did they know yet how her brother would react to her proximity? How did they know as much as they did? The spinning image of Syd walking toward her in the forest surfaced in her mind. Syd. Of course. Betrayal gutted her as he gathered his things and walked toward the door of the big square medical tent.
“Who are you?” She called to him, desperately.
“Why my little creature of the night…we’re with the government.” He left the tent without a backward glance, without turning the lights off for her.
15
Alyssa
Alyssa awoke cold and shuddering in her sleeping bag. The coals from the fire trailed smoke into the falling snow.
“Are you shitting me with this? Snow!” She pulled her feet up, curling into a ball.
“Hey Sailor-mouth, good morning to you too.” Emerson, standing a few feet away, yanked off his hoodie and tossed it at her. “Put this on. But if you keep cursing I might take it back.” He wrapped his empty sleeping bag around his long-sleeved tee.
Alyssa snagged the hoodie and shoved it in her sleeping bag, the excess body heat from Emerson still clinging to the thick material. Thank God for Wilder heat. Peeking around, she noticed most of the others were already up and gone.
“Where’d everyone go?”
Emerson, having returned to stacking wood and smaller kindling under a tarp to keep it dry, looked up. “C
hores. Scouting for other Wilder packs. Getting ready to settle in here as safe and warm as possible for a few days. You ready to eat and head to town?”
Alyssa popped up into a sitting position, tugging her jacket off and his hoodie on. “Yes. Let’s go.” She tried to gauge the time by peering up at the clouds. With the gray sky and lightly falling snow clusters, it could be just past dawn, or it could be past lunch already. They needed to get on the road as soon as possible. Scrambling around, she shoved the sleeping bag off and tugged her jacket back on over Emerson’s hoodie. She grabbed her sneakers and held them over the dying coals to try to pre-warm them.
When Emerson continued to stack wood, she suggested, “Let’s just eat one of those chalky protein bars on the road. Do we gotta tell anyone we’re leaving, or do they know the plan?” After tying her shoes, she grabbed the hair tie off her wrist, ready to throw her hair up into a ponytail for the jog. Her hands popped off her short locks as she gathered them. “Oh. Right.” She tried to hide her disappointment. She had a job to do now, and her hair was a small loss compared to the sacrifices she’d heard last night. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed the warm ashes at the far edge of the coals and started roughly finger combing them into her hair.
Emerson tucked the tarp edge securely under the wood pile he’d built, and added a few smaller sticks to the coals, enough to keep the fire going, but low. “They know. You sleep like a rock. We’ve been up for a few hours now. Figured we’d let you get as much rest as we could, since you’ll have the most work to do the next few days.” He slid his sleeping bag off and rolled it up, pulling a dark coat from his pack and shoving the sleeping bag in.
“Great. So everybody still sees me as the weak human.”
“We see you as the best chance we have right now of getting the supplies we need. Being human isn’t a weakness. Right now, being a half-Wilder experiment is dangerous and makes us useless for getting the actual supplies.” He shouldered a smaller pack for the day trip to the edge of town. “So, stop sulking. I’m ready when you’re ready.”
“Jeez you’re surly without Renna.”
“I could say the same about you, except you’re moody half the time anyhow.” He quirked a grin at her, looking more like the Emerson she’d come to know in camp.
She looked for a place to wipe her fingers and settled on the tee shirt tucked under all of her layers. Once her fingers were relatively clean she pulled on a pair of cheap gloves and nodded at him. “Don’t call a girl moody, dude. It’s bad form. And a sure way to make them actually be moody.” She winked before he turned and led her from the forest.
When they reached the edge of Placid Falls she was sufficiently warm from the walking. The snow still fell in gentle clumps, wet and heavy now. But, it wasn’t windy, and it was barely cold enough to it be snow instead of rain. She’d take snow over rain.
“This is as far as I can go.” Emerson was sweating; not from the walk, it was the sweat of tensed muscles and self-control.
Alyssa nodded, anxiety about pulling off the next part of the journey gluing her tongue down.
Emerson slung the pack off his shoulder then pulled out his notebook and a folded map. He ripped a few pages from the notebook and handed them, along with a fat envelope, to her. “This is the list. I put it in order from most important to least important.” He waited for her to nod again before continuing. “I’m not sure how much you’ll be able to carry each trip. So, get as much as you can carry fast, without being too suspicious. The envelope is filled with cash. Try not to flash it around, you know?” He shoved the map into her hands next, movements rough and hard to control. “I circled here. Drew you a few potential paths to the biggest stores. I’ll come back here a few times a day to check for you. Don’t want you walking at night. Might take you two days total for all the trips. Doesn’t matter. I’ll be here. I’ll come back. Wait here.”
“Okay. I got it.” She reached out and shoved him gently toward the woods. “Get out of here. You’re dying trying not to cry right now.” She really did feel bad that he was in so much pain. She’d be on her own in moments anyhow. No need to prolong his agony. “I can do this. Scratch that, I will do this. See you soon.” She pushed at his arm again when he looked ready to protest, and he whipped away, running back toward the woods.
Alyssa pressed her back against the side of the abandoned gas station and unfolded the map. She wasn’t about to trek into the city with no plan. Nobody used paper maps anymore, so she’d look really weird walking down the streets with her nose buried in it. Tracing the drawn paths with her finger, she thought longingly of her cell phone, turned off and tucked deep in her coat’s inner pockets. Turning it on to use her GPS would alert anybody searching for her. So, that was an emergency only option.
“East on Everdeen Ave, north two blocks on Hedy Street, then follow this weird circle thing to Angel Street and…” she trailed off thinking of the last time she’d been here. It’d been a few months, but she knew she’d be able to see the lit-up signs from the traffic circle. “And then go in and shop like a maniac.” She folded the map and tucked it in the inside breast pocket of her coat along with the list and thick envelope of cash. She couldn’t risk them getting soggy if this heavy snow turned into sleet or rain.
Tucking her chin deep into the neck of her coat, she trudged around the side of the old abandoned gas station and toward the busier streets. She had one of the old blue backpacks folded up and tucked into the waistline under her coat, to make carrying things back a little easier. She was afraid if she carried it around in the store people would suspect her of trying to steal things with it. Plus, the extra padding helped make her look stockier. Usually, she’d hate that, but today it was in her favor to look different.
Once she’d clomped a few blocks up Everdeen Street she started seeing more cars. A lot more cars. It seemed like everyone and their mother was heading to the row of big box stores sitting at the edge of town. The snow was thinning out as she reached Hedy street and waited for the crosswalk light to change. It didn’t take her long to traverse the traffic circle. The hardest part was getting cars to wait for her to cross the streets leading in and out of the round roadway. Without stoplights, nobody seemed to notice her, or care that she stood waiting, out in the cold, while they sat in their warm cars. Jerks.
Alyssa picked up the pace and trotted down Angel Street. The parking lot of the biggest store, the one she needed to start at, was a mess of dirty slush and honking horns. She stuck to the border of the lot, avoiding the cars that were driving faster than any sane person would in a parking lot this busy. What the heck was the rush? The first snowfall sometimes made people panic about having supplies in case of power outages or roadblocks, but this snow was already showing signs of stopping, and it was barely enough to stick to the ground.
The blast of warm air as she passed through the automatic doors felt like heaven. It had been weeks since she’d had the luxury of forced air heat. She stripped off her gloves, tucking them carelessly into a side pocket, and looked around for a cart. Nothing was available in the long hallway. Sighing heavily, Alyssa rolled her eyes and started toward the checkout aisle. There was bound to be somebody who left a cart there.
After waiting ten minutes and watching each person drag their loaded carts out with them, she trudged back outside to get one from the corrals dotting the parking lot. The little metal gated parking spaces were also empty. Other people, with the same idea as her, were grabbing them as they were dropped off. Gritting her teeth in frustration and keenly feeling the time passing, Alyssa scanned the storefront for somebody heading to a car near her. She’d just grab the cart directly from them as soon as they unloaded.
Two aisles away two men broke out into a shouting and shoving match over a cart being dropped off in a corral. The men came to blows as the woman leaving the cart scurried away and dove into her car.
Alyssa gnawed on her lower lip. If this is how people were acting about an empty shopping cart, would she be safe lu
gging as much as she could carry a mile and a half or so all by herself? Multiple times.
There had to be some other way to do this.
Clenching her hands to keep them from drifting toward her missing hair, she scanned the lot. Maybe somebody had left their car unlocked and she could borrow it. If she left it at the abandoned gas station the person would surely get it back just fine. But, then that would be a serious jail sentence if she got caught. And the camp would never get the supplies they needed to survive a few more weeks until the government arrived. Plus, she couldn’t hotwire a car, or whatever it was they did in movies.
Precious minutes ticked past as she debated her crapola options, turning in a slow arc and scanning the lot. A car drove past with an idiotic "Rams Rule, Bobcats Drool" bumper sticker. She grinned. She'd know that stupid blue car anywhere. Jeremy.
Alyssa trotted after the red taillights cruising toward the only open parking spot in sight. She knew she could make him give her a ride. If their shared childhood didn’t do it, then she’d guilt him for the way he’d cheated on Renna and been a general asshole for the past year. She’d be able to bring back all the supplies they needed in one trip. Hell, she could probably get him to drop her and the stuff off even closer to the edge of the woods, where Emerson wouldn’t be in so much pain helping her carry it to the others.
After he parked, she waited, tapping her foot and leaning against the trunk. Her grin faded as a girl stepped out of the passenger side. The snake. No wonder he wasn’t stuck in Cupboard Lake in the quarantine zone. He had been out here with one of his new make-out queens when shit hit the fan. Had he been staying here for weeks?