They sat quietly for a few minutes listening to the sounds of a lazy summer’s day. Sadie snorted a little and rolled onto her back, all four legs in the air.
Jordan waved one hand in front of her face. “Did she just fart?”
“Sadie, girl. Go sleep somewhere else.” The dog made another snorting noise, got up to pad around the table, and lay down at his feet again. They both laughed.
“We’re back at the same place,” she said. “Maybe we should flip a coin.”
“No. Let’s talk about something else for a few minutes. Why did you decide to become a physical therapist?”
***
JORDAN SETTLED BACK against him again. He breathed in the scent of her perfume, laid his hand against the softness of her belly, and listened as she described why she’d made such a huge life decision at twelve years old. He listened to the animation in her voice, watched her gesturing as she talked about her days and her happiness at seeing patients recover as she worked with them. She had passion for what she did. She got results. She wanted to keep doing it. Suddenly, he knew the answer to their problem, but he wasn’t going to share that with her yet.
“Maybe I need to shut up so you can talk for a while,” she said. She took a swallow of beer. “Why did you decide to become a football player?”
“I was good at it.”
“What would you have done if you had chosen something else?”
“That’s a pretty good question. I’m enjoying learning to be an assistant offensive line coach, but I don’t have the same zeal for it as you do with your career.”
“It’s early,” she said. “It will come.”
He could love the job all he wanted to, but it was never going to measure up to the woman in his arms.
***
TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER, Tanner was on a plane back to Atlanta. He’d spent his time distracting Jordan from the conversation she’d tried to have with him about what was next for them. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk. He knew what he was going to do. He’d known the second he’d listened to her talk about her job and how much she loved it.
She could move to Atlanta to be with him. He knew she’d find a new job in days, new clients, and she’d be happy. Jordan’s default was happy and always had been. At the same time, he’d be taking her away from everyone she knew and loved to sit in an apartment (or a rental house, if he ever had enough time to start looking) waiting for him anywhere between eleven and fifteen hours a day, ten and a half months a year. He wasn’t afraid of hard work, but he was afraid of ending up like other guys he’d met since he started three weeks ago. Their wives left because they couldn’t handle the hours. They rarely saw their kids.
If he was going to work those kind of hours, he wanted to work in a job that he couldn’t wait to get to in the morning. He wanted to make a difference in someone else’s life at that job. Even more, he wanted to make a difference in his own. He wasn’t the guy he’d been before his career blew up or the guy he’d been when he first met Jordan. He still wasn’t perfect, but he’d learned something from the peewee flag football team: everyone had to start somewhere.
The next morning, Tanner pulled into a parking spot at the team’s headquarters before seven AM. He let himself in and called out “Good morning” to the administrative assistant behind the front desk. He’d seen Steve’s car already in the lot. He’d try his office first.
Steve was at his desk. The coffeepot was already on. A bottle of ibuprofen sat in the middle of his desk blotter. He glanced up from his tablet.
“Hey, Cole. Welcome back.”
“It’s good to see you too.” Tanner dropped into the chair in front of Steve’s desk and gestured at the bottle of pain reliever. “You feeling okay?”
“Just a headache. It’ll pass.” He grabbed the carafe out of the coffeemaker. “Want a cup?”
“No thanks. I’m good.”
Steve poured himself a cup of coffee, swallowed a couple of pills, and sat back in his chair.
“I was expecting that you might not come back this morning,” he said.
“You told me to be here.”
“I did.” His lips curved into a small smile. “It’s not easy to be without someone you love.” He let out a long breath. “I’ve noticed that you work your ass off. You don’t complain. You have looked for ways to contribute when I’ve seen guys that lasted a couple of days and ran back home to something without these kinds of hours. Here’s the thing.” He tapped on the tabletop with his finger. “If you don’t love this job and love football more than almost anything in life, you should get out now.”
“Do you have a family?”
“Yeah. My wife is incredible. I know how lucky I am. Most women turn and run. They’d like to see their husbands more than a few hours a week from July through mid-June each year. It’s tough to maintain any relationship when you’re working year-round and crazy hours. Any coach does it because it’s what they’ve worked toward since they were coaching their kid’s middle school team or whatever. We get a break during the league six-week vacation period. It sounds like a lot of time off to guys that make fifty thousand dollars a year and bust their asses in construction or whatever they’re doing, but they are at the birthday parties and preschool graduations and Christmas mornings. They’re watching their kids grow up.” Steve took a long swallow of coffee. “If you want to stay, I think you’ll be great. You have the fire. If you have other things and people you love in life, there’s no shame.”
“Are you firing me, Steve?”
“Hell no. I want you to stay, but it needs to be an informed decision.”
Tanner got to his feet and stuck out his hand to shake Steve’s. “Thank you for the opportunity. I think I would have been lucky to work for you in any capacity.”
Steve got to his feet. “This wasn’t the right time for you. Let’s keep in touch. You never know.”
“No, we sure don’t.” Tanner shook Steve’s hand again. “Thank you for everything.”
Half an hour later, Tanner had written a resignation letter, printed it off, and stuck it in an envelope. He asked the head coach’s administrative staff if he could have a few minutes of his time. The team was lifting, so the coach was taking care of things in his office for a little while before practice.
“Is this important?”
“I think so,” Tanner said.
“He’s got a few minutes right now,” his assistant said.
He was announced to Coach Peterson, who said, “You do realize I don’t typically meet one-on-one with assistant coaches.”
“Okay, then. How about I do this in writing?” He put the envelope with his resignation letter down on the coach’s desk. “I quit.”
“I never knew you were a quitter, Cole.”
“Actually, I’m not. This isn’t a good fit. I want to see the woman I love more than a few hours a week for ten and a half months a year. I love football, but it doesn’t consume me anymore like it did when I played. The adjustment isn’t easy, but I’m better for it. It would also be better for your team to have an assistant coach that will be an asset to your organization.”
“I thought you would be.”
“I thought so too. I was wrong.”
“Does Steve know?”
“I talked to him first.”
“You know, Cole, I had high hopes for you.” The coach steepled his fingers. “Have you called your girlfriend yet?”
“I know where to find her.” Tanner extended his hand across the desk. The head coach shook it. “Best of luck to you, Coach. Thank you for the opportunity.”
“Thank you. Keep in touch.”
“I thought you didn’t meet with assistant coaches.”
“I’ll bend the rules for you. Plus, you’re not an assistant coach anymore.” He made a “go, go” hand motion. “Let’s grab a beer the next time the team’s in Seattle.”
***
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Tanner got out of an Uber in front of his house. Sea
ttle’s weather was a virtual repeat of yesterday’s—impossibly blue sky, translucent clouds, and bright sunshine. He took a deep breath of sun-warmed air and let the sun shine on his face. The decision he thought would be so agonizing was actually easy.
Jordan would continue the work she loved and learning the ropes of a small business owner. He realized that he could have put his foot down and insisted that she move to Atlanta. Relationships were a two-way street. He wanted her to be happy more than he wanted his own happiness. He also wanted to be wherever she was, so this worked out well for everyone.
It wasn’t like he was going back to sitting on his ass all day, either. He’d filled out the paperwork online to the local university to get his fifth year and a teaching certificate while he was flying home. He’d like to try his hand at coaching a high school football team in the Seattle area. The pay was shit (if he didn’t end up volunteering) and he’d be working some long hours, but he knew he could make a difference. He’d also go home every night to Jordan and Sadie.
He tipped the Uber driver and grabbed his rolling suitcases. He could already hear Sadie going nuts at the front door. He checked to make sure the electronic gate had closed and hit the buttons on his phone to open the door. Sadie bounded out, tried to knock him over as usual, and he reached out for the dog.
“Sadie. Girl. Sit. Ah-ah. Sit. Good girl.” He stroked her head. “I missed you too. Where’s Jordan?”
He caught the slightest whiff of her perfume before he heard her voice. “Right here.” She took a few clumsy steps forward and threw herself into his arms. “You’re home.”
“Home to stay,” he said.
Epilogue
Two years later
HARRISON REACHED OUT to straighten Tanner’s bow tie one more time before they had to get downstairs and take their places at the end of the aisle next to the minister who was going to marry Jordan and Tanner. Tanner wasn’t much for formalwear, but he’d bought a custom tux for the wedding. He’d had his hair styled and gotten a professional shave, and there were rumors of slight eyebrow tweezing too.
Harrison reached out to slap Tanner on the back. “Your look is on point, my man.”
Tanner brushed the curtains off one side of his bedroom window and peered out. “I wish this damn thing would start already.” He gestured toward the window. “Your mom and dad are here.”
“My parents wouldn’t miss this wedding if there was some kind of natural disaster.”
“They still love me, then?”
“My mom thinks you’re her second son. They also get the chance today to remind me that it’s past time I should get married too. I love my mom, but damn, she’s really into nagging.” Harrison took a sip of the pre-wedding scotch Tanner had served half an hour or so ago. “We could go downstairs and stand next to the preacher. Get things on the road, so to speak.”
“The wedding coordinator told me she’d call me when Jordan was here.” Tanner pulled the curtain open again to look over the ceremony site in his backyard.
The weather was spectacular, which wasn’t always the case in Seattle, especially in June. They had a backup site in case of rain. Tanner and Jordan had wanted to get married at home, and a small army of paid professionals was more than happy to assist with that. His living room and entryway had been transformed into an intimate, elegant reception venue and dance floor for fifty earlier today. The kitchen was ruled by Tanner’s former personal chef, Tom. He’d brought his servers and a bartender to make sure the food and drinks were everything the wedding couple wanted. Tom’s lovely young wife, Lauren, would be the hostess; Tom had married another client’s younger sister. They were working together in the thriving restaurant he’d opened two years ago.
After a bit of nudging by the previously mentioned wedding coordinator, Jordan and the women of the wedding party had spent the night before at a local hotel. Jordan and her friends were being treated to the works this morning at the spa. They must have been almost done. Tanner’s mom was already in his backyard.
Tanner gave up peeking out the window and took up pacing.
“She’ll be here, bro,” Harrison said.
“I wish she was here now.”
“She’s putting her dress on or something. She didn’t forget.”
He knew he didn’t deserve her. He was going to spend the rest of his life thanking whatever deity watched over him that she’d agreed to his proposal. All he had to do now was get his ass downstairs and repeat “I do” in the appropriate places. The woman he loved would be his for a lifetime.
Harrison reached out to pull the sheer window covering aside so he could see the backyard. “Hey. Ainsley’s here,” he said.
Ainsley was the aunt of one of the boys on the peewee football team. Harrison turned into a shy high schooler instead of his usual confident, take-charge self whenever she was around.
“Have you asked her out yet?” Tanner said.
“That would be a no.” Harrison wouldn’t look at Tanner. The knuckles on the hand gripping the back of one of Tanner’s bedroom chairs were white.
“What are you waiting for?”
“She might be interested in someone else.”
“Imagine how you’ll feel if some other guy moves in and sweeps her off her feet before you get the chance.”
“Imagine how I’ll feel if she turns me down.”
Tanner shook his head. He reached out to clasp Harrison’s shoulder. “Ask her out before the reception’s over. You can do it.”
“Easy for you to say. You won’t have to worry about finding a date for the next fifty years.”
Tanner grinned at him. “That’s right.” His cell phone rang. “That’s our cue. Let’s go find you a wife.”
***
TEN MINUTES LATER, Tanner and Harrison had made their way up the white-runner-covered aisle and stood at the altar next to the minister. The previously calm Tanner was now a bundle of nerves. Harrison reached out to pat his shoulder.
“She’ll be here soon. Everything is fine,” he said.
“Do you have the rings?”
“Let me check,” Harrison said. He was teasing, but Tanner looked panicked.
“I gave them to you. Goddamn it, H—”
Harrison pulled both rings out of his pants pocket. “They’re right here. Everything is cool.”
“Someday this is going to happen to you. Maybe. If you can find a woman who can deal with your being at my house all the time,” Tanner ranted. “I don’t know. What if I can’t make her happy?”
“Really? How long have you been together now?”
“That doesn’t matter. She wasn’t stuck with me twenty-four/seven.” He let out a long, tortured breath. “I can be a real asshole.”
“There’s a news flash.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“She’s crazy about you. She figured you out a long time ago. Why do you think she hasn’t? Your girl’s smart.”
They stared at each other for a minute or so. Tanner shoved one hand through his hair and stared at his shoes.
“She’s probably going to think she made a mistake.”
“She’s had two years to make up her mind,” Harrison said. He gestured toward the French doors that led into Tanner’s backyard. “She’s going to be here in a couple of minutes.”
He gave Harrison a stiff nod. Harrison checked again to make sure the rings were still in his pocket.
The prank Harrison had planned was obviously off the table. Tanner’s composure was hanging by a thread, if the conversation they’d just had was any indication. Harrison reached into his other pocket and grabbed out a clean handkerchief.
He nudged Tanner’s arm. “Put this in your pocket.”
“I don’t need that.”
“Just take it,” Harrison said. He hadn’t been in a wedding yet in which the groom didn’t come unglued when he saw his soon-to-be-wife for the first time. Tanner’s wiping his nose with the silk pocket square from his tux was not a good look.
&
nbsp; The string quartet struck up some peaceful-sounding music, and Tanner’s mom and dad walked up the aisle. They were seated in the front row. Tanner’s dad shook his hand before he sat down. “Congratulations, son,” he said.
“She’s not here yet,” Tanner said.
Jordan’s mom was escorted up the aisle by her husband, who settled his wife into a chair and gave Tanner a broad wink.
Seconds later, one of Jordan’s sisters walked up the aisle and took her place on the other side of the preacher. The peewee football team’s little QB, Kiernan, was the flower girl. Her parents had managed to coax her into a dress for the big day. She tossed rose petals like she was born to the job. She had decided she was standing next to Tanner during the ceremony. She held his hand. He did not object.
The French doors leading out of the living room to Tanner’s backyard closed briefly as the string quartet changed the sheet music on their stands and tried to look innocent. Tanner’s attempts to discover Jordan’s choice of processional before the wedding were fruitless. He hoped she wasn’t walking up the aisle to “I Hate Myself for Loving You.”
She’d mentioned that one of her dad’s clients found out that she was planning on using the recording of one of his songs during the wedding. He was in the Seattle area for a hearing in his case and offered to sing it live. Would she tell Tanner who it was? Of course not.
It better not be Nickelback. He hated Nickelback.
He noticed two things simultaneously: There was a piano on his porch. The French doors opened slightly as a guy who looked a lot like John Legend sat down on the bench and played the first few notes of “God Only Knows.” Seconds later, a tall, strikingly beautiful woman with honey-blonde hair and holding an adorable toddler stood next to her husband.
Kerri Mueller got to her feet, and a wave of their guests followed her example.
Jordan had chosen the perfect song. He’d listened to it so many times when he realized he’d fallen in love with her. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be without her. He hoped he’d never have to find out, and he could feel himself trembling.
He couldn’t think of anything or anyone else but Jordan. A glimpse of her in her wedding dress at the French doors took Tanner’s breath away. He was going to need some kind of defibrillator. His heart was banging around in his chest like a loose hurricane shutter, and he did his best to pull in a breath.
Necessary Roughness Page 17