Ruins of the Mind

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Ruins of the Mind Page 8

by Jason Stadtlander


  “I…I guess I don’t know. I always sort of talk to myself in my head. It’s how I think things through.”

  Sam’loc looked down at Heidi’s feet and then back up at her face in a movement that reminded her of a praying mantis. “Fascinating. We do not attempt to hide our thoughts. They are…open.”

  “You keep saying ‘we.’ There are more of you?”

  “More of the ter’roc. Yes.” He gestured to the back entrance of the cavern. “Down that corridor. There.”

  “How many of you are there?”

  Sam’loc blinked from the light bouncing off the floor. He was either trying to put his thoughts together or debating if he should share what he was thinking.

  “There are over one thousand of us. But there are over a billion of us total…”

  “A billion—right here in Massachusetts?!” Heidi asked, not believing what she’d just heard.

  “Massachusetts. I do not know this word.”

  “That’s the name of our state—the area of the country we are in right now.”

  “This area. No.” He gestured with his arms. “The planet.”

  This was over the top. “Let me get this straight. There are over a billion of you around the planet. You guys have been here for over two hundred thousand years…and no one knows about you?”

  Sam’loc stood stationary for a minute, looking at Heidi, his eyes blinking. Then he answered, “Not yet. No. Your species is young. Mentally. Some humans have known about us. We have decided from encounters with them over the last thousand years that it is best not to communicate with humans. Not yet.”

  “Are you from our world—this planet, I mean?”

  “No. And yes.”

  Heidi found his tendency for riddles frustrating. She pressed him. “Okay—you’re either from here or you’re not. Now which is it?”

  “It is…complicated.”

  She felt as though he might be patronizing her but wasn’t completely sure if it was patronization or an attempt at protecting some hidden information.

  “Why are you here then? I mean, if you’ve hidden from humans all this time, why are you walking out into that tunnel now? You know, the only reason I even decided to come in here was because I heard you earlier today.”

  His tiny mouth lifted into a smile. “I was curious,” he said.

  Heidi chuckled, in part from the realization that Sam’loc ventured out to see her because he had the same level of curiosity as she did and partly because his undersized smile looked so odd.

  “The older ter’roc…do not like to venture out. I, however, am curious. I have never spoken to a human before, although I have heard their thoughts.”

  “How old are you?” Heidi asked.

  Sam’loc again thought carefully. “Four thousand, eight hundred and twelve…years.”

  “Are you kidding me? Oh my god—and there are ter’roc older than you?” Heidi was aghast that anything could live that long.

  “Some of the ancients are still here. None of the ones who settled the ishkan are alive, but we carry their memories. Our oldest ancient is a little more than nine thousand years old.”

  Heidi’s mind was reeling. The idea that she was standing right next to someone—or something—who was old enough to have known the ancient Egyptians, Jesus and the Romans was way more than she could accept. She had always been fascinated by history and ancient cultures, and here she was standing in front of someone who had actually lived through most of the history she knew of—if not all of it.

  Sam’loc stared at Heidi and then asked, “How…old are you?”

  “Fourteen.”

  “Fourteen years?” He looked down at the floor again and then back up at Heidi, studying her, perhaps curious as to how someone could be that young. “How long do you live? I mean—how long do humans live?”

  “My great-grandmother lived to be ninety-seven. She died just last year.”

  “Oh. So very young.”

  Sam’loc walked over to her, picked up her backpack and began sorting through it. He discovered a granola bar and lifted it from her pack. Heidi just stood and watched, allowing his curiosity as much latitude as it desired.

  “You are a female?” Sam’loc asked without looking up at her.

  Heidi responded, “Yes—are you male?”

  “Male. Yes. I am the third.”

  “Third? I don’t understand.” Sam’loc peeled back the wrapper on the granola bar and took a tiny bite. His small jaw chewed methodically, over and over, amusing Heidi.

  “Is your food always like this?”

  “Um…no. That’s just a granola bar. You know—a snack?”

  “Snack. No. I do not know that word.”

  “Something you eat in between meals…if you get hungry.” Sam’loc nodded as if he comprehended, but Heidi wasn’t sure he really understood.

  “I am the third male,” Sam’loc continued.

  “Third of how many?”

  “Four hundred. There can only be a specific number of males in each ishkan.”

  “I don’t get it. Why—and what is an ishkan?”

  Sam’loc cocked his head as if he thought this to be a stupid question. “Because that is how it is. There are always less males and more females.” He paused again. “Ishkan is our…host?” he said, hesitating as if he might not be using the right word.

  “Host? I don’t understand.”

  “The place that we live.”

  “Your home?”

  He considered this. “Yes…well, no.”

  “What happens if another male is born?” Heidi asked, attempting to understand.

  “That does not happen. We choose females. If a male dies, then another male is born.”

  “So you don’t have babies often? I mean, if there are only a little over a thousand of you and your ancients are as old as nine thousand years…”

  “No. Only when one dies. It is our way.” He began walking toward the entrance at the back of the cavern.

  “Wait!” Heidi demanded.

  “Come. Follow me. There is no point in staying here in this room.”

  Heidi walked hurriedly after Sam’loc and snatched her backpack away from him. He relinquished it willingly, cautious not to touch her.

  The two left the cavern. They appeared to be in some sort of crack in the at least ten feet high solid granite wall. The deeper down the path they walked, the lower the ceiling became until it reached approximately seven feet above them.

  The tunnel itself looked like a broken crack in the earth that became more structural, its walls becoming smoother. Heidi looked ahead, trying to figure out how Sam’loc could see where he was going, and saw a blue light leading out ahead of him. She couldn’t determine its origin, but it looked similar to a beam from a flashlight—but Sam’loc hadn’t been carrying any flashlight?

  Not wanting Heidi to fall behind, Sam’loc stopped and turned back toward her, waiting. She was surprised to see that the two eyes higher up on his head were not eyes at all but lights of some kind, and they were casting a blue hue. Heidi stared at them, and Sam’loc, sensing her curiosity, stepped back toward her. The lights were bright but slowly dimmed as he approached.

  “Ocular lights,” he stated.

  She grinned sheepishly and then laughed. “I have a flashlight!” She flicked it on and off in demonstration.

  “Interesting.”

  Sam’loc turned back in his desired direction, and the two continued their journey together. They walked along for close to fifteen minutes, occasionally exchanging questions and answers. Sam’loc was curious about her family structure, so she told him about her older brother Mark and her parents.

  Heidi was curious about how and why Sam’loc and his kind had arrived here. She noticed that his answers were more evasive than hers regarding family. Sam’loc told her they spent much of their time in hibernation and only kept as many ter’roc awake as needed to care for the ishkan. Oddly, he didn’t seem to possess a concept of fun. His culture rev
olved around operations and adhering to a strict architecture required by the whole of their society. He went on to explain that their society had castes. Some were born to lead, others were born to work, and some were born to explore or perform research. Heidi noted that his civilization sounded similar to a hive culture.

  “So, it’s kinda like a beehive?”

  “Beehive?”

  “You know, hundreds of bees in one spot with a queen serving as the boss who tells the workers what to do—and there are drones performing chores for the queen.” She waited for his response.

  Sam’loc thought about this. “A crude, but apt description,” he said. “We used to have more of what you would call fun. Our society used to have great artists and poets.”

  Heidi tried to visualize what kind of artwork an alien culture like the ter’roc might create but couldn’t conjure up a clear visual in her mind.

  As they continued walking, the tunnel grew smoother until the stone was replaced by a leathery, rubber-textured wall. Faint markings covered it, and Heidi stopped to examine what she saw. She reached out to touch the surface, surprised to see that it glowed brightly where her hand made contact, various symbols illuminating below the surface. The texture reminded her of the skin of the dolphin she had touched when she was in Florida at a nature preserve.

  Sam’loc’s long, gray four-fingered hand touched hers and gently pulled her own hand away. Heidi felt a small spark of static electricity pass between their hands; it wasn’t painful or even uncomfortable, just odd. It was the first time he had touched her, and she was surprised at how warm his hand was, much warmer than her own. He remained close now, no more than a foot away. She looked at him and heard his voice in her head directing her. “You must not touch the walls. You will confuse the ishkan. Your genetics are too similar.”

  “What—what do you mean?”

  Sam’loc pointed at the walls. “Ishkan…is the mother.” He was again struggling for words.

  “The queen?”

  “No. The…the home?”

  “You mean your house?”

  He shook his head. “No, the structure in which we live.”

  “Right—your house.”

  “When you think of a house, you think of a piece of earth, a cave or a building. Something that is dead.”

  “Well, yeah—it’s a house.”

  “No. Our ishkan is alive. We live within her.”

  “You mean ishkan is a living creature?”

  Sam’loc nodded, confirming Heidi’s conclusion.

  “But…it’s huge!”

  He nodded again. “Yes. It is about three times the distance we walked.”

  Realizing they walked for what felt like a quarter of a mile, Heidi gasped. “That’s got to be nearly a mile long…are you sure?”

  Sam’loc looked at her, trying to gauge her concept of distance.

  “May I see your thoughts?”

  “See them? I thought you already could.”

  “I only listen to your conversation. I do not probe deeper without permission. That would be…rude? If you allow me to see what you think, I can better understand your words.”

  Heidi wasn’t sure about this. “Will it be painful?”

  Sam’loc seemed puzzled by this question. “Painful?”

  “You know—will it hurt?”

  “Oh, hurt. No, not at all.”

  Heidi considered his request for a moment. She stood there in the blue glow of his ocular lights and the mild purple hue that was beginning to permeate from the walls of the ishkan, trying to determine if her parents would be upset over her even talking with this creature, much less if she allowed him to probe her mind. It was all just a little too surreal.

  She decided to do it. “Okay,” she said. “Go ahead.”

  The very second Heidi gave permission for the probe, her mind flooded with vivid images. She saw other creatures like Sam’loc, revival-style buildings in Greece, and villages in South America with primitive huts. She saw the great pyramids of Egypt and many ter’roc around a large oval table in an expansive, cavernous space.

  The images flashed through her mind for what seemed like hours, but it actually only amounted to a few moments. Along with the images, she heard thoughts and voices from other ter’roc. All of this was running through her mind so quickly that she had no time to process any of it. Stars, followed by planets of various sizes and colors, rushed by a window, as well as trees with enormous flocks of birds bursting out of them. Her final image was of her appearing to fly above a caveman who was pursuing a mammoth.

  All at once, the myriad of images stopped abruptly. Heidi stood looking at Sam’loc, who was in front of her, for only a few seconds before being overcome by vertigo and sinking to the floor.

  Sam’loc bent down and gently helped her up. Her newfound acquaintance no longer seemed like a creature, some fearful alien she couldn’t understand or relate to. He was beginning to feel like a friend, someone she had known much longer than a day.

  “You seem so familiar,” Heidi said. “Why do I feel like I’ve known you my entire life?”

  “That feeling of familiarity is something that carries through in the transference. You have, in a way, known me all your life and beyond…yes. You have seen a glimpse of my life and of those with whom I reside.”

  “You’ve been through everything with my people, haven’t you, Sam’loc—from the very beginning?” She paused, surprised by her revelation. “No—you are the beginning of us, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. We are the beginning of humanity. We seeded this planet in an attempt to adjust our genetics to adapt to this planet. We combined our own DNA with a native hominid species already here, creating what you now know as humans.”

  Names she didn’t recognize suddenly surfaced. “What is Kachina, Anunnaki and Wondkina?” she asked, puzzled.

  “These are all names humans have called us over the centuries. There are many other names. What you feel and know are some of my residual memories and some of the memories of those with whom I reside. Along the way, we have taught humans. It was our desire to help you along—where we saw a need. We wanted you to see how to treat one another and to better understand your own existence.”

  Heidi was still confused. “Wait, if the ter’roc created humans, then what about God? I was always taught that it was God who created us.”

  Sam’loc swayed his head a bit from side to side, trying to patch his words together. “It is complicated,” he said, smiling his strange, miniscule smile.

  “So—is there a God?”

  “Yes. There is a God. Ter’roc are not gods. The term God is complex, however. According to your upbringing and understanding, God is a single entity that oversees your world, bringing life and taking it away. There is some accuracy to this, but your species requires additional growth before you can fully understand such a concept. God is also a force, an energy that binds us together—ter’roc, humans, ishkan and many other creatures throughout the universe.”

  Heidi focused the beam of her flashlight on her watch and was surprised to see that she had been in this subterranean underground with Sam’loc for more than three hours now.

  With nervous concern in her voice, she said, “I have to go, Sam’loc. My parents will worry.”

  “I understand.”

  “But can I come back? I want to see you again—and learn more.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  She turned to leave and then stopped. “Oh, and one more thing. Next time, may I bring my brother Mark with me?”

  “Yes but tell no one else. Agreed?”

  Heidi offered up her absolute trust to this developing friendship. “Agreed,” she said emphatically.

  Heidi ran into the tunnel, hurrying through the junction as quickly as she was able. It took twenty-five minutes to run the entire distance back to the storm drain. When she stepped out and onto the train tracks, the light was momentarily blinding despite the cloud cover filling the sky.

  LATER
THAT EVENING, Heidi sat down with Mark in the privacy of her bedroom. “Okay,” he said, humoring his younger sister, “What is this exciting story you have to tell me?” There was a slight hint of a mocking tone in his voice.

  Mark was twenty. He was staying with his parents and little sister while he took a semester off from college before he returned to Boston University in the winter to start his third year in the history program there. He and Heidi had a solid brother-sister relationship and were close. They trusted each other implicitly and spent time hiking and camping together whenever possible.

  Heidi approached her disclosure with caution. “Mark—you have to promise me you will not tell anyone else about this, okay? It’s very important that what I have to tell you remains between the two of us.”

  With only a second’s pause and a cocked eyebrow, he agreed.

  Heidi spewed out the story of the train, the drain culvert, and the cavern. Then she shared every detail of her encounter with Sam’loc—how she stumbled upon him in the darkness, the kaleidoscopic images he set loose in her mind and finally, Sam’loc reading her thoughts.

  Mark listened attentively, resisting outright skepticism and taking in everything she told him. It was not in his nature to doubt her—but an entire unknown civilization underground in Swampscott? That was one gigantic leap over the top. Yet, Heidi had never lied to him before, and Mark reminded himself of this. When she finished her detailed story, he studied her face, trying to figure out if this was some elaborate joke or prank.

  Heidi didn’t wait for him to respond. “I’m going back, but I want you to go with me, Mark. Will you?”

  He flashed her a big-brother smile. Then he lowered his chin and, with one eyebrow cocked, replied, “You’re absolutely certain you didn’t just graze your head on the culvert or something?”

  Heidi sighed and responded with convincing certainty. “Yes. Positive. Now please—will you come?”

  Mark shrugged and offered his little sister an I-support-you-no-matter-what look. “Okay, kiddo. First thing tomorrow, we’ll jump down the rabbit hole, you and me together.”

  “Awesome!” Heidi was relieved and happy to have her brother in her camp, and she couldn’t wait to see his reaction to her newfound discovery.

 

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