by Gina Wilkins
The way he looked at her let her know that her expression had revealed at least some of what she was thinking—and a touch of panic, perhaps. He kept his next comment business related, probably in an attempt to calm her. “You were going to catch me up on what happened at the office while I was gone.”
She had already stood to carry her mug to the sink. “We can talk about work later.”
“You said there were several things you needed to discuss with me.”
Keeping her eyes on the mug she was rinsing, she replied, “Nothing that won’t keep. I’ll probably spend the rest of the weekend doing research, so you probably won’t hear from me. If you need me, call, okay? You have my numbers.”
“Caitlin.”
He had moved so quietly she hadn’t realized he’d risen from the table. His voice came from directly behind her.
She nearly jumped out of her shoes.
Laughing softly, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
She stared blindly out the window over the sink. She didn’t really see the tiny backyard with its big shady trees; her attention was entirely focused on the man who stood so close behind her that she could feel his warmth against her back.
“Caitlin,” he murmured again, the laughter gone from his voice now.
She turned her head very slowly, looking at him over her shoulder. Their eyes locked, and the heat between them flared so high she felt her cheeks flame in response. It was an instinctive, primal reaction—one that overpowered the logical, cautionary lectures she had just given herself. At this moment she was having trouble remembering why she shouldn’t give in to the urge to kiss him, when it was something she’d been wanting to do for some time now. And when it was so very obvious that he wanted to kiss her, too—no matter what his reasons.
Would one kiss be so bad, she wondered even as his mouth moved toward hers—if only to satisfy their curiosity? She could already feel her lips tingling in anticipation of that first moment of contact…..
“Nate? I got thirsty.”
The sound of Isabelle’s voice from the doorway caused Nathan to jump back as if he’d been caught attempting something illegal. His sudden release of Caitlin’s shoulders made her sway and clutch at the sink for support.
Nathan’s voice seemed about half an octave higher than usual when he said, “You want a drink, poppet? Sure, no problem. What would you like?”
Though she looked a bit puzzled by his behavior, Isabelle merely opened the refrigerator door and pointed to the apple juice.
If a neon sign had suddenly appeared on the ceiling, Caitlin couldn’t have gotten the message more clearly about why they shouldn’t give in to their curiosity. All the reasons she had listed earlier were still valid; putting them out of her mind did not make them go away.
“I’d better leave,” she said, moving toward the door. “I have a lot of work to do this weekend.”
Nathan didn’t try to detain her this time.
“Tell Miss Caitlin thank you for taking you shopping and helping us decorate,” he said to Isabelle.
Caught off guard by Isabelle’s response, Caitlin nearly had the breath knocked out of her when the child locked her arms around Caitlin’s waist. “Thank you, Miss Caitlin.”
Looking down at the top of the little girl’s golden head, Caitlin swallowed an unexpected lump in her throat. Getting way too involved here, she chided herself even as she wrapped her arms around Isabelle’s shoulders. She needed to escape soon and then spend the rest of the weekend settling back into her own routines, leaving Nathan and Isabelle to establish their own.
While she sympathized with how alone Nathan must be feeling right now, he had gone into this with his eyes open. It wasn’t up to her to help him figure out how to live with the choice he had made. She didn’t want to be callous, but she had her own problems.
“You’re welcome, Isabelle,” she murmured. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
She made her break while Nathan was busy pouring juice for Isabelle. A bit cowardly, perhaps, but it seemed like the best idea at the time.
The sooner she was out of there, the sooner she could get back to her own carefully planned life.
Because throwing herself into her work had always been her way of escaping difficult personal problems, Caitlin drove to her office in the restored old house Nathan had purchased when he had gone into business for himself. No one else was there on a Saturday afternoon, of course. There would be no one to interfere with her concentration. For the rest of the day, she was thinking about nothing but business.
She had just managed to put Nathan and Isabelle to the back of her mind and immerse herself in medical malpractice research when she heard a woman’s voice coming from the waiting room. “Caitlin? Are you here?”
She almost groaned out loud. She’d been so preoccupied when she’d entered earlier that she must have forgotten to lock the door behind her. Great security. She stood and smoothed her hands down the casual blouse and slacks she had worn for her day of shopping and work.
“I’m here,” she said, moving toward the doorway.
To Caitlin’s shock, Lenore McCloud stood in the center of the empty waiting room.
This time it was all Caitlin could do to keep the groan from escaping. It seemed that she hadn’t evaded Nathan’s personal problems, after all. One of them had followed her here.
Because surprise had rendered Caitlin momentarily speechless, Lenore spoke first. “I saw your car in the parking lot when I drove past. I hope I didn’t frighten you when I called out.”
“No, I was just a bit startled, since I wasn’t expecting anyone. Um, is there something I can do for you, Mrs. McCloud?”
As immaculate as always in a leopard-print silk blouse and trim brown slacks, not a hair out of place, Lenore looked at Caitlin with a taut expression. “I think you know what I want to talk to you about.”
As much as she would have liked to tell Lenore that she did not want to get involved, Caitlin said, instead, “Why don’t you have a seat, Mrs. McCloud? Would you like a cup of coffee? I made a fresh pot when I got here a little while ago.”
Lenore declined the coffee, but she did take a seat on one of the waiting room couches, perching stiffly on the very edge. Caitlin settled into a nearby chair. “You’re upset that Nathan has taken responsibility for his little sister,” she said to get the conversation started.
The word sister made Lenore’s features tighten even more, if possible. Caitlin had chosen the word deliberately as a subtle way of stressing the blood bond that had influenced Nathan’s decision. “I am more than ‘upset.’ I’m devastated that my son is ruining his life.”
Ruining his life—or hers? Caitlin wondered cynically. All she said was, “I don’t think the situation is quite that drastic.”
“Of course it’s drastic! Nathan is only thirty-one, and he should be concentrating on his own future. He has this firm to consider. It’s just getting solidly established and gaining respect in legal circles. I credit you in great part for that, of course.”
“Thank you, but—”
“And it isn’t only his career he’s putting at risk. What will this do to his social life? He shouldn’t have to worry about baby-sitters and day care and the other responsibilities and expenses of raising a child. And when he is interested in starting a family of his own, what kind of effect will this have? What woman would want to become involved with a man who is solely responsible for raising a small child, especially when that child was at the center of a statewide scandal?”
Caitlin cleared her throat. She certainly didn’t want to become embroiled in a conversation about Nathan’s love life—present or future! “I know Nathan has given a great deal of thought to all of these issues—”
“Nathan doesn’t give a great deal of thought to anything,” Lenore cut in bitterly. “He’s impulsive and reckless—just like his father. He makes these grand gestures, and then he expects other people to bail him
out. Just like when he started this firm. Several people tried to convince him he wasn’t ready to strike out on his own, that he should work for another firm for a few years and gain experience and maturity, but he wouldn’t listen. Then, as soon as the workload here became too demanding, he brought you in and dumped much of the responsibility on you.”
“That’s hardly an accurate description of our partnership,” Caitlin felt obliged to protest. “Nathan pulls his weight and then some. He certainly does things in his own creative manner, but he’s a brilliant attorney. He couldn’t have made the firm so successful in such a short time if he weren’t. He’s the personality of the firm. I’m the organizer and detail person. It’s a fair distribution of our talents.”
Her eyes almost feverish, Lenore leaned forward a bit further on the couch, making Caitlin worry that the older woman would tip onto the floor. “Nathan listens to you, Caitlin. He respects you. He won’t listen to my advice about this because he thinks I can’t be objective—and maybe he’s right. But you’re an uninvolved party. If you talk to him, tell him what a mistake he’s making—”
This time it was Caitlin who interrupted. “I have spoken to him, Mrs. McCloud. Nathan has made his decision. He isn’t going to change his mind because of anything I say—or anyone else, for that matter.”
Lenore shook her head. “You can convince him that it’s in the child’s best interest to find another family for her. Nathan’s not qualified. He isn’t prepared. He doesn’t understand everything that’s involved in raising a child to adulthood. Especially on his own, with no one to help him…”
“You can help him.”
The quiet comment made Lenore recoil. “No. I can’t.”
“I understand how difficult this is for you, but Nathan needs you, Mrs. McCloud. Granted, you and I may not completely understand the commitment he has made, but you have to admit that his reasons were actually quite noble. He has a kind and generous heart, which he probably inherited from you, since your charity work is so well-known, especially on the behalf of local children.”
“That isn’t going to work,” Lenore announced sternly. “It’s true that I’m not a vicious woman, but it’s simply too much to expect me to help my son spend the rest of his life paying for his father’s selfish mistakes. I won’t do it.”
“She really is a sweet little girl.”
“You aren’t going to help me, are you?”
Caitlin twisted her hands in her lap. “I can’t agree to try to talk Nathan into giving Isabelle away. Whatever hesitations you have—or even that I might have—I believe he’s more aware of the ramifications of his decision than you seem to think. He might have acted impulsively, but it wasn’t blindly. He loves his little sister, and he’s going to do what he thinks is best for her.”
“And when you find yourself running this business entirely by yourself because Nathan’s personal life is too hectic?”
Caitlin almost winced. Lenore had come too close to describing the past week. “I’m sure Nathan will learn to juggle work and child raising. Single parents do it all the time.”
“My son is not a single parent!” Lenore stood abruptly. “It’s obvious that you’re on Nathan’s side—”
“I’m not on anyone’s side,” Caitlin objected. “I am simply not getting involved in your family dispute.”
“So you say. Just don’t tell anyone I didn’t warn you about the trouble headed your way.”
“Mrs. McCloud—”
But the older woman had already reached the door. She let herself out with a slam that was somehow still dignified.
Caitlin clenched her hands in her hair and let the growl that had been building inside her escape on a frustrated exhale.
Just what had Nathan gotten them both into?
Chapter Six
Late that night Nathan stood beside Isabelle’s bed, gazing down at the tiny figure burrowed into the blankets. Her golden hair spilled over the pillows, and her breathing was slow and even. Hedwig the owl kept wide-eyed vigil at her side.
There was a certain satisfaction in standing there watching her sleep, confident that she was safe, well-fed, warm and content. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be sitting alone in his house tonight, not even knowing where his little sister was or who was watching out for her.
He still clearly remembered the first time he had seen Isabelle. It had been on his first, awkward visit with Stuart and Kimberly in California, three months after Isabelle’s birth.
Stuart had tried to stay in touch with his other offspring, but Nathan was the only one who had taken his calls. Nathan had made that trip to San Diego thinking it would be a one-time visit, an opportunity to sit down with his father and talk frankly about the devastation Stuart had left behind within his first family. And maybe to seek a little advice about how Nathan, as the eldest son, should deal with those repercussions.
He had known even then that some people might find it odd that he’d sought counsel from the very man who had caused the problems in the first place, but Nathan had always valued his father’s opinions. Stuart’s betrayal had shaken Nathan’s faith but hadn’t erased all the memories of those earlier, happier years.
Nathan had figured he and his father both deserved one last face-to-face confrontation, even though his siblings hadn’t agreed. Gideon wouldn’t even discuss the trip, and Deborah had angrily announced that she had no interest in anything Stuart had to say about his actions. Prickly and apprehensive, Nathan had arrived on his father’s doorstep. Fifteen minutes later he’d been sitting in Stuart and Kimberly’s sunny living room with baby Isabelle on his lap. She had gazed up at him with wide-eyed fascination and a dimpled, toothless smile. He had become a big brother again, as devoted to this baby sibling as he was to Gideon and Deborah. He could no more disclaim Isabelle than he could the brother and sister with whom he’d been raised.
It had been mostly because of Isabelle that he had traveled to California several more times after that first visit. He had grown fonder of his little sister, and he’d rebuilt a relationship of sorts with his father—admittedly not the same as before, but still a bond of blood and shared experiences. He’d even come to like Kimberly and to accept the fact that Stuart was happier with her and Isabelle than Nathan had seen him in years in Mississippi.
And then it had all ended in a fiery helicopter crash in Mexico.
Nathan had grieved deeply for his father—a grieving made more painful by the fact that he hadn’t been able to share this pain with those he loved best. His mother hadn’t been able to discuss her late husband’s death. Gideon had become even more withdrawn and remote than before, and Deborah had retreated both physically and emotionally from her family, keeping her feelings locked behind a barrier of hurt and anger.
Oddly enough, it had been Caitlin who had been most available to Nathan during that initial shock of grief. She had been his partner only a few months at that time, but she’d sensed his need to talk about his father, and she’d proven to be a good listener. He’d been careful not to take too much advantage of her sympathy, but the couple of times he had unloaded on her, he had always felt considerably better.
And now he had turned to her again. And once again, she had been there for him when no one else was. It was becoming as hard for him to imagine his life without Caitlin as it was to picture himself giving his little sister to strangers.
He just wished he knew how Caitlin felt about him. There was something about the way she had looked at him when he’d almost kissed her earlier that had made him believe she wanted to kiss him, too. It hadn’t been the first time he’d sensed that the attraction he felt for her was mutual.
Had Isabelle not entered the kitchen when she did, Nathan would have finally satisfied his curiosity about what it would be like to kiss his pretty, gray-eyed partner. He strongly suspected that first taste would have only whetted his appetite for more.
He wondered now why he had waited so long to work up the nerve to make his move.
He should have asked her out weeks ago. Now, before he could even take her to dinner, he would have to learn how one went about hiring a dependable baby-sitter.
Leaning over to brush a kiss over the top of Isabelle’s silky head, he reminded himself that he didn’t regret bringing the child home with him. But he was certainly aware of how much more complicated his life had become.
Caitlin wasn’t sure what to expect when she arrived at the office Monday morning. She hadn’t seen Nathan Sunday, though she had spoken with him on the phone a couple of times when he’d called with business-related questions. He told her he had stayed home all day trying to wade through the stacks of memos and messages that had piled up during his week-long absence, and he needed clarification about a few things.
Caitlin had asked about Isabelle during the first call, of course. Nathan told her the child was fine, playing happily in her room with the few favorite toys she had brought with her from California. Because she had spent so much of her short life in the company of adults, she was used to entertaining herself.
The second time he called Caitlin, several hours later, he’d sounded a bit more frazzled. As well behaved as Isabelle was, she was still a young child whose life had been uprooted too many times. She had become a bit fretful and clingy as the day advanced, wanting to make sure she had Nathan’s attention—perhaps subconsciously needing reassurance that this home would be a permanent one.
Caitlin had answered his business questions, then couldn’t resist asking, “Do you need any assistance there? I could come help you entertain her for a little while…..”
Nathan had politely but firmly declined the offer. “You’ve done enough this weekend. I’m sure you have things you need to do, and I have to learn to deal with these problems on my own, anyway.”
Even though she agreed with that sentiment, she’d felt a bit guilty after hanging up. Silly, really. There was no reason at all why she should feel responsible for Isabelle or Nathan.