He offered her a small smile. “It’s funny, I could take the beatings from them far better than the ones from Hank.”
Her eyes darkened. “That’s because Hank was the man who raised you, the man who should have protected and loved you. So, how did you get to be here in Bitterroot and on the Holiday ranch?” She released his hand and leaned back once again.
“That was the doing of a very special social worker named Francine Rogers.” Tony smiled as he remembered Francine’s cocoa-colored features and her gentle smile.
“She often hit the streets in the late evenings looking for runaways. She’d sometimes have food or blankets and she always wanted to help. She tried to help some of the boys reunite with their parents and get some of them into shelters. I’d talked to her several times before. She knew I was never going back to Hank and Betty and she also knew I wasn’t interested in living in a shelter. One night she asked me if I’d like to go to Bitterroot and work on a ranch for a woman who was alone and needed help. I figured I had nothing to lose, so she took me to Cass Holiday.”
The tension that had twisted Tony’s guts slowly eased. “I found a home with Cass and the other men. There I’m not half-Choctaw or half-white, I’m just another cowboy.”
“You’re so much more than that, Tony,” she replied. “You’re an honorable man and you’re smart and have a great sense of humor.”
“Thanks.” He searched her beautiful features. “I can’t believe I told you about my childhood. I’ve never told anyone about my past before. You’re good for me, Mary. You’re like no woman I’ve ever known before.”
Her gaze held his for a long moment and he wondered if she saw his desire for her in his eyes. “I’m glad you told me, Tony. And on that note, I think it’s time for me to go to bed.”
He watched with a small twinge of disappointment as she got up from the sofa. He’d obviously made her uncomfortable and that was the last thing he’d intended.
He got up as well and walked with her down the hall. His bedding was folded up in the linen closet. “Mary?” He touched her arm just before she was about to turn to go into her bedroom.
She turned to look at him. “Are we okay?” he asked worriedly.
“We’re fine, Tony.” She released a small sigh. “My heart is just broken for a little boy who was so badly abused. I ache for that child who wanted to be loved, the boy who grew into a man who is now afraid to love.”
He shook his head and the tension once again swelled in his chest. “It’s not that I’m afraid to love, it’s just that I choose not to love.”
“And so Hank and Betty win. They managed to completely destroy you. Good night, Tony.”
Before he could reply she stepped into her room and closed the door behind her. Tony stared at the door for several long moments before he finally turned to get his bedding.
Her words rang in his ears as he made his bed on the sofa. They echoed in his brain as he stripped down to his boxers, turned off the light and then slid in beneath the sheet.
He thought about the baby who may or may not be his. The child’s laughter delighted him. The way he curled his little fingers around Tony’s thumb shot a wave of protectiveness through him. Each and every expression enchanted him.
Did he love Joey? He could put no other name on the emotions Joey evoked in him. He couldn’t deny it. He loved Joey and he never wanted the boy to know the kind of fear and misery Tony had experienced when growing up.
As he stared up at the dark ceiling and waited for sleep to overtake him, his thoughts once again went to Mary. He loved the way she smiled. He loved how he felt when he was in her presence. Already he looked forward to seeing her in the morning and spending the day with her and Joey.
His desire for her was off the charts. One intimate encounter with her wasn’t enough...would never be enough for him. Was he in love with her?
His heart beat a little faster. Whatever he felt for Mary scared him. She had made it clear she didn’t want a relationship with him and the last thing he wanted was to be vulnerable enough with her that she’d have any opportunity to break his heart.
And yet as his eyes drifted closed, the leaves of the trees whispered softly in his ear that it was already too late to shield his heart.
He was falling in love with Mary.
* * *
Mary awakened before six. Dawn light wasn’t even a promise on the horizon yet. Joey normally didn’t wake up until seven or seven thirty and so there was no reason for her to jump out of bed and begin the day.
She rolled over on her back and thought about the night before and everything she’d learned about Tony’s past. It had been tragic on so many levels.
He’d been taught to hate his Native American blood before he could ever learn to be proud. And that was only one of the sins of his “parents.” Beaten and half-starved, ridiculed and unloved, it was a wonder he was as well-adjusted as he was today.
That was probably due to Cass Holiday. If Tony’s background was typical of the other men who’d come to work for Cass, then she must have been something of a miracle worker to the broken young men who had been brought to her ranch.
Mary had wanted to wrap her arms around Tony. She’d wanted to pull him into her and soothe the pain that had radiated out from his eyes, try to find and heal the little boy inside him who had been so badly damaged.
At the same time she’d realized the importance of maintaining some distance. She didn’t in any way want to give him the impression that she might be open to another physical encounter. She could take care of his son and she could be his friend, but never anything more.
He’d taken two weeks of vacation time to be here as protection in the event that Ash Moreland made another attempt to take Joey. What if Ash made his next move in two weeks and two days? What if the evil man waited a month...or more?
As much as it would hurt Mary to say goodbye to the little boy who had captured her love, when Tony’s vacation time was over, it was definitely time for him to make other arrangements.
She’d already allowed their agreement to go on far longer than she’d intended. It was time to put an end date to it. Hopefully, in the next two weeks Amy would be found, Ash Moreland would be in jail and then Tony and Amy could decide what was best for their child.
And what if Ash Moreland really was Joey’s biological father? She shoved the familiar horrifying worry away. She only hoped the DNA test came soon and it showed that Tony was the father.
Tony might say he chose not to love, but there was no question he loved Joey, and Joey’s best chance at a happy, loving future was with Tony.
Unable to stay in bed any longer, she decided to go ahead and get up and put on the morning coffee. It took her only minutes to brush her teeth and hair and then pull on a lightweight robe.
She opened her door, stepped out and immediately collided with Tony in the semi-darkened hallway. Her hand flew up to his broad, bare chest in an effort to steady herself and at the same time one of his hands grabbed hold of her shoulder.
“Whoa,” he said softly and dropped his hand back to his side. In the faint illumination from the night-light plugged into a nearby wall socket, he looked hot as hell.
He was clad only in a pair of black boxers that hung low on his slim hips and he held his gun in one hand. His hair was loose and draped across his shoulders. He smelled of sleepy male and the lingering scent of his cologne.
“Sorry,” she murmured. Step back...drop your hand from his chest, she told herself. But his skin was so wonderfully warm over his taut chest muscles.
“Good morning,” he said.
His heartbeat resonated against her palm. Was her heart beating as fast as his? Her cheeks burned with a blush and she yanked her hand away from him. “Good morning to you,” she said briskly. “I was just on my way to make coffee.”
“And I was just on my way to a shower,” he replied.
“Then I’ll see you in the kitchen in a few minutes.” She sidestepped him and hurried up the hallway.
What was wrong with her? Why did he have the ability to evoke such longing in her? He made her feel like a giddy teenager eager for the high school quarterback to smile at her.
By the time the coffee was made, Tony walked into the kitchen only for Joey to give his familiar cry from the spare room.
“I’ll go get him,” Tony said.
It was hard to believe he was the same man who, two weeks ago, had stared at the baby with unabashed terror. He’d transformed. He was no longer afraid of taking care of Joey. He’d become confident in his role.
It was a good thing, she thought as she poured two cups of coffee and then pulled a bottle of formula out of the refrigerator. Fourteen more days and he was on his own. Fourteen more days and she had to tell him goodbye.
He came back into the kitchen and once again her breath caught in her throat. There was nothing sexier than a man wearing a gun to protect those he cared about and holding a smiling baby in his arms.
“He told me he’s ready for his breakfast,” Tony said.
“I’m ready for you both. I’ve got breakfast for a baby and a cup of coffee for Daddy.”
“I think he looks like me,” Tony said when they were seated at the table. He gazed down at the baby in his lap drinking his bottle and then looked at Mary. “Don’t you think he looks like me?”
“He has dark hair like yours,” she offered. But Ash Moreland also had black hair. It was obvious Tony wanted her to see a resemblance to him. “Maybe around the eyes,” she finally said.
Tony smiled. “Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought.” Once again he gazed down at Joey. “I want to teach him to be strong and proud.”
Halena swept into the kitchen clad in a flowing multicolored caftan and a little pink lace hat on her head. “How can you teach him to be proud when you know nothing about where you came from?” she asked with a stern look at Tony.
“Are you going somewhere?” he asked her. “You’re wearing a hat.”
“It’s a hat kind of day,” she replied and walked across the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. “Maybe you should wear your cowboy hat all day.”
“It would just detract from my overall handsomeness,” Tony replied with a twinkle in his eyes.
“You’re all right, Tony Nakni,” Halena replied with a grin.
Mary listened to the two of them with amusement. Tony had learned to give as well as he got when it came to Halena and there was no question her grandmother enjoyed their playful banter.
That banter continued through breakfast. Joey added his two cents with strings of baby gibberish that had them all laughing. “Since it’s a hat day, I’ve decided not to start sewing today,” Halena announced as they finished clearing the breakfast dishes.
“Then what are you going to do?” Mary asked.
“I have a new project to work on.”
“Does that sound a bit scary or is it just me?” Tony asked, with that same twinkle of good humor in his eyes.
“You should be afraid, young warrior,” Halena retorted.
“What kind of a project, Grandmother?” Mary asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out. I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me.” She straightened her hat and then flounced out of the room.
“Has she always been this way?” Tony asked curiously.
“If you mean just a little bit crazy, then the answer is yes. She’s always been eccentric, but she’s getting more so with age.”
“She must have been an interesting parental figure when you were growing up.” He leaned down and placed the sleeping Joey in his bouncy chair.
“I’ll admit there were times she mortified me, especially in my early teen years when almost everything mortified me. She’d show up to a school room party in a sparkly evening dress, or decide to do a traditional dance in the middle of the supermarket.”
Tony smiled. “Somehow that sounds wonderful.”
She nodded. “The really wonderful thing was that our home was the place where all my friends wanted to hang out. Grandmother would tell us scary stories about shadow beings who ate souls, or magical stories about the sun and the moon, Hashtahli and Hashi Ninak Anya, and their children, the stars. She always had snacks prepared for anyone who might show up and playing dress-up in her closet was the bomb. Even though I mourned the passing of my parents deeply, I was very blessed to have Grandmother in my life.”
She eyed him with a new curiosity. “Whatever happened to Betty and Hank Ryan? Have you ever gone back to see them again?”
“Never. I have no idea if they’re dead or alive. I have no intention of ever seeing them again. They are part of my past and have no place in my future.”
“Do you know if they looked for you when you ran away?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I doubt if they did.” The darkness that had filled his eyes when he’d spoken about them the night before was absent, as if in telling his story to her some of that pain had vanished. “I’m sure they missed their whipping boy, but I doubt they wanted to get any law enforcement involved in my sudden absence.”
“You should have gone to the police and told them about the abuse,” Mary replied. It would have been nice to know that those vile people were at this very moment still spending time in jail.
“It never entered my mind to go to any authorities. Hank and Betty were white, the authorities were white and I had been told for years that I was nothing. I didn’t think anyone would ever believe me about them.”
“How do you feel about learning to make baskets?” she asked. A change in subject was definitely in order.
He gave her a warm smile. “I’m up for anything if you’re a part of it.”
“Then let’s head out to the back porch. The sun is shining and it should be beautiful out there.” She ignored the quick burst of heat that had suffused her at his words.
For the next two hours she taught Tony about the history and the making of the baskets that were a huge part of her business and an important part of Choctaw heritage.
When Joey awoke from his nap, they brought him out to the porch in his bouncy chair. As Mary dyed river cane, Tony kept Joey occupied by making funny faces and tickling him.
With the warm breeze caressing her face and baby giggles filling the air, Mary felt as complete as she’d ever been. If she was lucky, when Tony and Joey were gone, she’d occasionally dream-walk back to this place in time, where a profound happiness filled her heart.
It was almost dinnertime when Halena strode out onto the porch with a large handful of papers. She thrust the pile toward Tony, who took it in obvious confusion. “What’s all this?” he asked.
“It’s the education you missed out on when you were growing up,” she replied.
Tony looked at Mary and she could tell he wondered if she’d told Halena about their conversation the night before. She shook her head and then shrugged.
“Every man with Choctaw blood should learn about his roots and take pride in being a part of a people who have both dignity and courage. Now, you read all of that and I intend to quiz you about it later.”
“And what if I get an answer wrong?” Tony asked.
“Then I’ll make you wear this hat,” Halena retorted and pointed up to the pink concoction perched atop her head. “Now, I’m feeling like tacos for dinner. I’m going to go get started on them.”
“Is she serious about the hat?” Tony asked when she left the porch.
Mary grinned at him. “I wouldn’t answer a question wrong if I was you. She’ll sew it to your head while you’re sleeping.”
Tony laughed. “I’m shaking in my boots at the
very thought.”
“Why don’t we head inside,” Mary suggested a few minutes later. “It’s starting to cool down and I should help with dinner.”
“What can I do to help?” Tony asked as he picked up the bouncy chair where Joey was napping.
Mary gazed at him teasingly. “I think you should probably use all your spare time reading that material. You’d look terribly silly in that little pink hat.” He laughed and together they went into the house.
Dinner was pleasant, and when it was finished, they all settled in to watch a movie. Halena got into the chair, leaving Mary to sit next to Tony on the sofa.
Anytime she was near him she felt as if all her senses were assaulted by him. His familiar scent evoked the memory of the hot, frantic lovemaking they’d shared. The languid slide of his gaze over her was pure temptation. It was as if unconsciously he was seducing her and she had to maintain her defenses against the desire he evoked inside her.
She put Joey down for the night and soon after that Halena waved a good-night as she headed to her bedroom. “I think I’m going to call it a night, too,” Mary said.
Although it was fairly early, she felt uncharacteristically vulnerable. The day had been so good with Tony. He’d been so attentive as she’d worked and their conversations had been laced with laughter.
“I have to admit I’m a little tired myself,” he replied. “Although I might do some reading before I go to sleep.”
“Then I’ll see you in the morning.” A sense of relief accompanied her into her bedroom. As she dressed for bed, she chided herself for being so foolish.
She couldn’t believe she was nervous about spending a couple hours alone in the living room with Tony. Where had her good sense gone?
She got into bed and squeezed her eyes closed, determined not to think about Tony Nakni, and hoping she didn’t dream about him.
* * *
He was in the middle of a hot dream about Mary. They were both naked in her bed. Her full breasts filled his hands as they kissed with a passion so very hot he could smell the smoke, hear the snap and crackle of flames.
Operation Cowboy Daddy Page 12