by Kaylea Cross
Abruptly she pulled back, averting her gaze. “This isn’t a good idea, is it? I mean, since we’re neighbors and all.”
He swallowed a growl of protest and bit back all the arguments that sprang to mind.
She met his eyes, and this time he clearly saw the shadows in them. What was she so afraid of? “I like you a lot, Noah. I don’t want to ruin a good thing. I’m new here, and…I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize my place here.”
He barely refrained from assuring her she wouldn’t, his mind and body rebelling at her rejection. He wasn’t going to push her for more right now. If she wasn’t comfortable with this, then he had to back off a bit and let it go.
For the time being.
He looked up at the darkening horizon. “We should head back.” He stood, gathered up the blanket while she took care of the pie plates, cutlery and box.
“I’m sorry,” she said, so softly he barely heard her over the wind.
“Don’t be. I didn’t mean to push you.” He walked with her back up the trail, his mind working the entire time. How was he going to change her mind about them and convince her to give him a chance?
****
Poppy retreated to Whale’s Tale’s back office as soon as possible the next day. She was distracted and a little down, not to mention tired. She’d lain awake for hours last night after Noah had walked her home, replaying every detail of those magical kisses that had lit her body up like fireworks.
Stop.
She needed to clear her head.
Clearing a spot in front of her desk, she set a flat cushion on the carpet and settled on it, cross-legged, the backs of her hands resting on her knees. She closed her eyes, grounding herself, focusing on her breathing until the tight ball of anxiety in her belly began to loosen. Then she started the visualization.
Her secret sanctuary was one she called upon often, from a time in her childhood that while not perfect, had brought joy and peace for those fleeting hours she’d spent wandering the fields.
She stood in a field of sunflowers, her face tilted toward the sky. The warmth of the sun bathed her skin, forming a red glow behind her closed eyelids. The sharp, green smell of the stalks and leaves surrounded her along with the rich, earthy scent of the soil, soft and cool against her bare feet. And when she opened her eyes, thousands of golden yellow faces stretched out for what seemed like miles in every direction. Birdsong filled the air, and the quiet drone of a tractor, far off in the distance.
Here she was utterly alone, and free. At peace.
But the image wouldn’t hold.
Normally she could meditate for a half hour or more, holding onto that cherished image, letting the sensory details transport her. Today it was impossible.
Poppy opened her eyes with a sigh, her mind snapping right back to Noah. Had she made a mistake in pulling away? Her mind said no. She wasn’t about to risk eternal awkwardness with her neighbor for sex. But her heart felt differently, saying she’d screwed up big time. She sensed she’d hurt Noah. Well, she was hurting too. It was just so damn hard for her to trust, especially men. Her background had ensured that.
“Stop thinking about him,” she reprimanded herself. It was beyond frustrating that she couldn’t, and she had work to get done. Starting with ordering some new inventory. Sales in the bookstore had really picked up, and she had to make sure she kept a constant, interesting supply of merchandise on sale.
She had something to look forward to after work because she had invited Molly and Sierra over to her place for another girls’ night. She’d planned for them to make homemade ice cream with wine in it, and they could either play a game or just hang out, whatever the others felt like doing.
Near lunchtime she headed out front to check on things and help serve customers. The café was almost full, and the lineup at the counter was four deep. That should have improved her mood, but she couldn’t shake the sadness about Noah. She’d stopped things in an effort to prevent them from becoming awkward down the road, but they were awkward anyhow.
“Poppy?”
She swung around to face a woman about her age, standing with a man who carried a little girl.
“Poppy Larsen.” Her eyes widened in shock.
Poppy sucked in a breath, paling a little as recognition hit. Sandra, from back home. She’d been a couple years ahead of Poppy in high school, and one of the most popular girls in town. Still was, as far as Poppy knew. And she was cousin to Poppy’s chief tormenter. “Yes, hi.”
“Wow, what are you doing here?”
Poppy hated that the mere sight of this woman triggered all her insecurities, made her so anxious that she wanted to hide. “This is my place.” She tugged at the cuffs of her shirt.
Sandra seemed stunned by the news, her gaze sweeping over Poppy in a critical way that made Poppy long to hide behind the counter. “Unreal. It’s a small world, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Too small.
Nerves hit her. A low-grade nausea began to swirl in her stomach as old memories and wounds bubbled up.
She put on a smile to mask her discomfort. They weren’t in high school any longer. Weren’t even in their hometown. Poppy was all grown up and had nothing to be ashamed of anymore. Sandra held no power over her anymore. “Are you here on vacation?”
“Yes. We just stopped in for lunch on our way to Lincoln City for the night.”
Poppy nodded. “We’ve got a fresh batch of focaccia just out of the oven if you’re interested in a Panini.”
“You look great.”
Poppy wasn’t naïve enough to take the compliment at face value. Sandra was close to her cousin, and that woman had taken way too much satisfaction in helping make Poppy’s life back home a living hell. “Thanks.” She glanced at her employee, then back at Sandra. “Well, enjoy your lunch. Take care.”
As soon as she was back in her office, she shut the door and expelled a deep breath. Thankfully that had gone off without incident, and Sandra and everyone else from her hometown would be out of her life again within the next thirty minutes or so.
By mid-afternoon she’d almost managed to put Sandra and the past out of her mind completely, feeling strong with a newfound sense of self-confidence. She’d come face-to-face with someone related to her tormentor and stood tall. That was progress, and something to be proud of.
After placing orders for some cool art supplies for the bookshop, Poppy started on the latest bookkeeping. Her employee Caroline poked her head in. “Sierra’s here to see you.”
“Oh.” That made her smile. “I’ll be right there.” The moment Poppy saw her new friend waiting at the counter she broke into a smile, the lingering bit of tension in the pit of her stomach loosening. “Hey there. You here to grab something in between patients?”
“Yeah, I thought I’d get myself an iced chai.” Then her expression turned serious and she cleared her throat, spoke in a low voice. “Can we talk somewhere? In private?”
Oh, shit. Had Noah told his sister about last night? A hard ball of dread formed inside her, but she nodded. “Sure, come on back to my office.”
Poppy sat behind her desk while Sierra took the chair in front of it and cleared her throat. “Okay, there’s really no easy way to put this, so I’m just gonna tell you straight up.”
Poppy braced herself for what was coming next. She would be honest, tell Sierra that while she liked Noah a lot, she wasn’t ready for anything more than friendship with him. Even though she wished she was. “Okay.”
“My assistant was scrolling through her social media during her break, and came across a post you need to deal with. Your shop was tagged, and there’s already some buzz about it in town because one of my patients commented on it this afternoon.”
Poppy stared at her blankly. “What?”
Sierra sighed and pulled out her phone. “Did someone come in to visit you earlier?”
No… Poppy’s pulse thudded in her throat. “Not to visit. It was purely a coincidence. She didn’t kn
ow I owned the shop and stopped in with her family on their way south.”
“Well, someone shared it.” Sierra’s eyes were full of sympathy. “I don’t know the woman, but I don’t want to. Whoever she is, she’s a bitch.” She turned the phone around.
Emma. Sandra’s cousin, the person who had single-handedly led the charge to destroy Poppy’s reputation, had shared the picture Sandra must have taken inside the shop. Poppy was behind the counter serving another customer.
It took a moment to process Emma’s hateful words, but the instant they registered, that horribly familiar, crushing sense of shame piled on top of her.
Look who wound up out west. Hometown zero becomes Oregon Coast town’s hero!
A laughing emoji accompanied it, along with another picture of her that Sandra must have taken without Poppy being aware of it as she’d come out of the back. The post had already been shared more than twenty times, and there were dozens of comments.
Her heart sank, then plummeted when she started reading them. All by people from her hometown, many of them high school classmates that had tormented her for so many years.
Oh my God, are you serious? Poppy Larsen’s their hero? What a freaking joke. If they only knew what we know.
Trash will always be trash, no matter how she tries to dress up and change her image. She’ll always be a slut, just like her mother.
Wonder if she’s done all the men in town yet?
For sure she’s already gone down on half of them. I wonder what she charges nowadays?
The blood rushed from Poppy’s face so fast it made her dizzy.
She shoved the phone back at Sierra and leaned back in her chair, feeling sick. This couldn’t be happening. Not here. Not now, when she had just begun to hope that she could be happy.
“Is the woman who took the picture staying in town?” Sierra asked, her tone hard. “Because if she is, I’m gonna find her and have a little talk.”
“No, they were going to Lincoln City,” she said faintly, fidgeting with her cuffs, making sure they were down to the base of her wrists. God, she couldn’t even look at Sierra. What must she think of Poppy now? People would read between the lines and either figure out the shameful things from her past, or worse, come to even uglier conclusions.
Sierra sighed and set her phone down before rounding the desk and crouching in front of Poppy, taking her cold hands. “Sweetie, who was she?”
Her mind was spinning, already gathering momentum on a downward spiral like a freight train gaining momentum as it moved downhill. “Someone from back home.”
“Was she your friend?”
Poppy finally looked at her. Sierra’s expression was so sincere, so full of kindness that it made Poppy’s eyes sting. “No.” Why was this happening? She’d worked hard. So damn hard to put distance between her and that old life.
Sierra nodded. “Well then, fuck whoever shared this and all the rest of the mean girls you left behind.”
The humiliation was still intense, but a growing fear threatened to take hold. How was she supposed to hold her head high if her past came to light here? People would shun her or mock her. This could poison her business. Small towns could be funny, she knew that better than anyone.
The freight train in her mind gained speed as it plunged downhill.
If people here believed the comments, they might turn against her. Stop coming in. She wouldn’t be able to pay the bills. She’d have to close the business, sell it, and move again. But where? Where the hell could she go where the ugliness of her past wouldn’t follow her?
Shit, shit. She wasn’t sure she could go through this again. She buried her head in her hands, squeezed her eyes shut. What the hell was she going to do? She could lose everything.
“Hey,” Sierra said, taking her by the shoulders. “Poppy, stop and look at me.”
It took everything she had to lift her head and meet Sierra’s eyes. God, she wanted to throw up.
Sierra searched her eyes. “They’re just a bunch of small town mean girls, and what they think or say doesn’t mean shit.”
“I’m not what they think I am.” She wasn’t even sure why she was bothering trying to defend herself. No one would believe her. They never had.
Sierra nodded. “I know you’re a hard-working, big-hearted person. Whatever did or didn’t happen in your past won’t change that in my mind.” She rubbed Poppy’s back. “Breathe, honey.”
Poppy took a slow, shuddering breath, fighting off the queasiness. “Thanks for warning me.”
“Of course. That’s what friends do.”
Friends. Tears threatened. She’d never had any friends. None that would protect her and then defend her.
Then a new horrifying thought hit her. “Oh, God, your brother. Has he seen it?”
“I called him.”
Nooooo. “Shit.” Poppy dropped her head back into her hands. Think, Poppy, think. She needed to block the posters and mark them as spam. That would work, right?
Not if the damage has already been done. Rumors could spread like poison through the community.
“I only told him because I was worried about you.”
Poppy sat up, the overwhelming urge to flee taking over. “I need to shut the post down.” Sierra stood by as she logged into her social media account and quickly looked up the post in question. God, just seeing those hateful words posted for the world to see made her sick to her stomach. She untagged the post from her shop, then blocked the abusers.
But not fast enough. People here have already seen it. Noah’s seen it.
The nausea churning in her belly didn’t let up. Shutting off her computer, she stood, grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Sierra blurted.
“Home.” She couldn’t stay here right now. She was barely keeping it together as it was, and once the shock wore off she didn’t think she could hold back the tears.
Out front she stopped to inform her two employees, then headed out back to her car. Sierra was right behind her. “Poppy, wait.”
Poppy stopped, but didn’t face her. “I need to go home,” she said, her voice wobbling. Dammit, she needed to get out of here before the floodgates opened, every single insecurity she’d buried so carefully now shoved right up in her face. She’d thought she could outrun her past. Today had proved her wrong. She needed to regroup before she could face anyone else in town.
“You want some company?”
Poppy closed her eyes, a bittersweet sting piercing her at the sweet offer. “No. Thanks. I appreciate you coming to tell me, but I need to be alone right now.”
“All right. Call me if you want to talk, okay?”
Poppy nodded, already knowing she wouldn’t call, and got in her car.
The tears started when she was a few blocks from home. She swiped them away impatiently, the anger and shock fading into a raw kind of grief. Then her cottage came into view, and a sob ripped free.
She loved this place. Had foolishly thought she could leave her past behind and build something for herself here. She’d thought she might find happiness.
If people here found out what had happened and turned on her the way they had back home…
The dream she’d risked everything for might crumble into dust around her, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to stop it.
Chapter Nine
“I dunno, Noah, she was really upset. Molly and I were supposed to go over to her place for the night but that’s off now. I think you should give her some time by herself before you go over there,” Sierra said.
No way. “She’s been working herself to death since the day she rolled into town. If she was so upset that she left work in the middle of the afternoon, then I’m going over to check on her,” Noah said via his Bluetooth as he turned his cruiser off Front Street and headed for home.
He wouldn’t do this for a regular citizen. However, Poppy was anything but regular to him. Especially after last night. He’d thought about her al
l night, and all day today. Wanting more, and unsure how to convince her to give them a shot.
“Well that’s quite a change in your tune. Decided she’s not an outsider anymore, have you?” Sierra teased.
Noah grunted. Yes, he’d been a bit wary of Poppy when she’d first arrived in Crimson, but not anymore. She’d earned his respect and he cared about her. A lot. Bullies pissed him off, and knowing someone had deliberately set out to attack her made him want to punch someone. Namely this Emma woman who had put up that fucking cruel post.
“Ugh, I know how you are,” his sister said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You get this protective, white knight thing going on to save the damsel you perceive to be in distress, and you don’t stop to think first whether she wants to be rescued or not.”
She wasn’t wrong. He definitely had a pattern of doing that, including during his relationship with his troubled ex. Still, he could think of way worse character flaws to have. “I did think. And I decided I need to go check on her.” There was also a good reason for his protectiveness when it came to women, which Sierra knew all about.
Years ago, he had caught a family friend moments before the man had been about to rape a young friend of Sierra’s during a sleepover at their house. The guy had been a family friend, an honorary uncle their parents had trusted to stay with him and Sierra while they’d been away. Noah had flung the guestroom door open, taken one look at that bastard holding the naked, struggling girl beneath him on the bed, and lost it.
All of sixteen, Noah had beaten the shit out of the guy, then kept him pinned down until the cops arrived to arrest his predatory ass.
The memory still had the ability to make rage flare inside him, because he had and still felt partially responsible for it. He’d missed all the signs. It could just as easily have been his sister who Tom had attacked. If it had been, Noah would have landed in juvie because he would probably have killed the guy.
“Okay, I’m here,” he said as he turned onto his street. “Gotta go.”