by J. S. Cooper
“Sorry, Betsy,” they replied in unison, guilty looks on their faces. I knew that for as much arguing as they did, they both secretly enjoyed it. It was something that Nolan and I had never understood, and it had exasperated us growing up, but Jules and Jeff were like the brother and sister that each one had never had.
“So how many bachelors are going to be in the contest?” I asked Jules as I handed them their cupcakes. They took their plates eagerly, and Jeff placed a twenty-dollar bill in the tip jar. “Thanks.” I smiled at him. They were both my best customers, but I didn’t make any money off of them because I didn’t charge them for any of the cupcakes or drinks they wanted. I mean, who could charge their friends?
“I’m not sure yet,” Jules said. “But there’s already a lot of buzz around town because Nancy Lee suggested that there be some sort of kissing contest at the auction, and the Canyon Beach police station has issued the name of the cop who will be representing them.”
“Oh?” I asked, my heart starting to race in anticipation. “And what do you mean, a kissing contest? What’s a kissing contest?”
“I don’t know, but maybe Jeff here can answer our questions as he’s the one who will be kissing half of Canyon Beach and spreading his saliva to the world.”
Jules grinned wickedly but my heart fell at her words. Jealousy spread through me like wildfire, and all I could think about was, How the hell am I going to make sure that the only person Jeff is kissing on the night of the Bachelor Auction is me?
Chapter 2
Betsy
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” Jules sang as she danced around my living room later that evening. It took everything I had to not roll my eyes at her giddiness. Of course, I was happy that she’d found love, but it just seemed so awkward that it was with my brother. I wanted to ask her about the sex and if they’d done anything crazy, but I also didn’t really want to know. I mean, who wants to know how big their brother is? Certainly not me. I’d always guessed that they had a bit of a thing for each other, but I’d never expected them to end up together, and I certainly didn’t expect to be pretending I couldn’t see the huge hickey on her neck. Normally, I would tease her about it, but I didn’t want to know what else my brother’s teeth had been up to.
“All right, Jules,” I said as she grabbed my hands to waltz and started singing a song from The Sound of Music. “Can we stop dancing for a second? I need your help.”
“My help? Oooh!” She stopped dancing and peered at me, her brown eyes curious. “What help do you need?”
“I think we should sit down.” I carefully pried my hands away from hers. “Do you want a cupcake?”
“What flavors do you have …” And then her voice trailed off and she raised a hand. “Wait a minute, what’s going on here, you need to talk to me about something apparently serious and you have cupcakes? Is Nolan cheating on me?” Her eyes narrowed as she gazed at me. “Is that it? Is that why you’re acting so serious?”
“Julia Gilbert, everything doesn’t revolve around you and Nolan.” I was slightly annoyed. “The whole world isn’t the Jules and Nolan show.”
“I was thinking we could be called NoJo,” Jules said with a grin. “As a couple name.”
“What?” My jaw dropped. “Are you serious? That doesn’t even make sense. How does Julia and Nolan become NoJo?”
“It’s meant to be like, ‘Jules and Nolan, they’re no joke.’” Jules wrinkled her nose as she spoke. “Okay, I agree, now I’m saying it out loud, it sounds a bit whack.”
“Whack?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Since when did you join the mafia?”
“What?”
“Isn’t that what the mafia do when they put a hit on someone?” I grinned.
“Huh?”
“They whack them.” I started laughing and Jules just stood there shaking her head. “It’s a mafia term.”
“Hmmm.” Jules made a face. “If you say so.”
“And you’re a writer. You should be using more elegant language,” I teased her because, normally, I need to carry a dictionary around with me when we were together.
“Really, Betsy? You always complain that my vocabulary’s pretentious, and now I’m not elegant enough?” Jules looked offended, and I grabbed her hand again.
“Come on, Jules, I have bigger issues than you and your vocabulary, and no it has nothing to do with you and Nolan.”
“What’s going on?” she asked as we finally settled on the couch in my living room.
All of a sudden, I didn’t know where to start. I was so embarrassed. “I bought a pair of crotchless panties,” I admitted. “Bright red.”
“No way!”
“And I dropped them off on Officer Fernandes’s desk,” I continued. “And he let everyone at the station know.”
“Oh my God, I had no idea you were interested in Max Fernandes!” Jules looked gobsmacked. “Are you guys going to go on a date?”
“I’m not interested in Max.” I made a face. “He’s annoying and a pig.”
“So why did you give him sexy underwear?”
“It wasn’t for him,” I said.
“Then who was it for?” Jules stared back at me and then she groaned loudly. “Oh God, please do not tell me that you bought them for Jeff.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“I won’t tell you that.”
“Betsy, no-o-o.” Understanding dawned on her face. “Is that why you called me this morning? And then didn’t tell me about it in the coffee shop because Jeff was there? Ugh, you can’t date Jeff. Absolutely not. He’s such a pig.”
“We’re not dating. And he’s not a pig.” I glared at her. “In fact, I think he’s more like a stallion. A tall, strong, muscular, fit—”
“He’s not black, though.” Jules cut me off. “So he can’t be a stallion. I mean, you can’t even call him an Italian stallion because he doesn’t even have black hair.” She paused for a second and then continued. “And I wouldn’t exactly call him fit, either.”
“I would definitely call him fit.” I thought about all the times I’d seen him in his baseball uniform in high school and sometimes at the pool during the summers. Jeff had a body to die for. I was positive he spent every waking hour that he wasn’t at work at the gym. He had abs that Chris Hemsworth would be jealous of and arm muscles that Arnold Schwarzenegger would give a pretty penny for.
“He’s okay, but if you’re really looking for a black stallion, there’s this guy I’m meant to go on a date with next week. I think his name is Boris, and whoa, he’s gorgeous. His dad is African and his mom is German, and he’s tall and dark and handsome and he has these green eyes and … what?”
“If you think he’s so handsome, why don’t you go on a real date him?”
“I’m dating your brother, remember?” Jules made a face. “Nolan’s already not happy that I’m still going on these dates for work.”
“Well, I’m not happy that you’re trying to hook me up to go on dates with men you don’t even know when you know I want to go out with Jeff.”
“But why Jeff?” Jules whined. “He’s absolutely horrible.”
“He’s not horrible,” I protested. “Why do you hate him so much?”
“I don’t hate him. I just don’t like him. He thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and he’s so controlling and annoying,” she ranted. “Come on, Betsy. You remember what he was like in high school. He walked through the corridors like he was some sort of king, and he teased us mercilessly.”
“Yes, but so did Nolan, and that didn’t stop you from falling for him.” I gave her a look. “And I can remember many times when Nolan said things that were completely douchey.” I put my hands on my hips and gave Jules a pointed look. She was being hypocritical judging Jeff when she was now dating his best friend.
“Ugh.” Jules made a face. “You’re right, of course, but let it be said that Jeff needs to really step up his game if he wants you.”
&nbs
p; “I don’t know that he wants me at all …” I sighed. “That’s why I need your help.”
“What help do you need?” Jules looked at me with wide eyes. “And do you have alcohol? I need alcohol to get through this.”
“Jules!” I looked away from her. “You know what, it’s fine. If you don’t want to help, just forget it.”
“Oh, Betsy.” She sighed. “Get me a glass of merlot and let me sit down. I’m your best friend, of course, I’ll help you. I just think that I need to be inebriated to discuss you getting with Jeff.”
“Jules.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Did I say that when you wanted to get together with Nolan?”
“No.” She made a face. “You were very supportive and sweet.”
“Even though he’s my brother and he gets on my last nerve.”
“Well …” she mumbled then grinned. “I want to hear more about these red panties. Let me see them. Maybe I should get some for sexy time with Nolan.”
“Jules,” I groaned. “I don’t want to think about my brother doing things to you through crotchless panties.” I mock shuddered. “I don’t want to think of my brother doing things to you, period.” I headed toward the kitchen. “Let me go and get the wine.”
“And the panties.” She laughed. “Oh yeah, bring a third glass, Stella said she was going to be able to come over after all.”
“Oh, good.” I smiled. “She’ll be able to give me some advice.”
Stella was Jules’s younger cousin, and she was a man magnet. She looked like a model with her long dark hair and green eyes, but she actually owned a bookstore in town. Her personality was vivacious, flirty, and no-nonsense, and she always knew how to act with men. Even though, at twenty-four, she was two years younger than us, both Jules and I often went to her for advice.
Jules laughed. “Hey, I can give you some good advice as well.”
“Uh-huh.” I paused by the door. “Also, if anyone asks, it was your idea to drop the panties off at the police station.”
“Ugh,” she groaned. “I don’t even want to know, but I definitely need to see them now.”
“There’s really not much to see.” I laughed. “Okay, let me get the wine.” I continued toward the kitchen when the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” Jules called out as I grabbed three wineglass stems in one hand and an unopened bottle of pinot noir that Nanna had gifted me for Christmas from a winery she’d visited in Sonoma with some friends. She’d told me to save it for a special occasion, and I figured this was the moment to bust out the good bottle. I needed to convince Jules to help me win over Jeff without her putting up too much of a fight. As I headed back to the living room, I knew that I not only needed wine, I needed food as well.
“Are you guys hungry? I was thinking of ordering in,” I said as I walked back into the living room. “Hey, Stella, so great to see you.”
“Hey, Betsy,” She offered me a small wave and smile. “I’m starving, so I’m definitely up for some takeout. I was going to suggest we order from that new Indian place in town. Abby told me she ate their lunch buffet yesterday, and that it was amazing.”
“Sure, I’d be down to try it. Does that work for you, Jules?”
“Sure.” She nodded and grabbed the wine bottle from me. “I’m easy to please.”
“Is that what Nolan says?” Stella teased her cousin, and Jules went slightly red.
“Is that what Nolan says about what?” I asked, walking into the trap.
“When they’re in bed.” Stella winked at me and I groaned.
“I refuse to hear about my brother’s preferences in bed.” I put the glasses down on the coffee table. “I don’t want to hear anything about his sexual preferences, ever.”
“So, I guess you don’t want to know what he did last night then?” Jules said with a wicked look. “I was wearing a—”
“Jules, no,” I interrupted her with a glare. “Please don’t make me sick before I eat.” Jules rolled her eyes as she opened the wine bottle with the opener that we always left on the coffee table and reached out for a glass. “Okay, guys, how about we order some chicken tikka masala, garlic naan, basmati rice, and maybe some channa masala?”
“Can we get some samosas as well, please?” Stella took the wineglass Jules handed her. “I prefer the lamb ones if they have them, but potato is also fine.”
“And I would love some chaat daal or whatever.” Jules handed me a glass of the wine and then took a long sniff of her own. “This smells fantastic.” She swirled the wine around the glass before taking a sip. “Oh my, this is delicious.” She grinned at me and then looked back at the wine bottle. “This doesn’t taste like it cost ten dollars at Trader Joe’s.”
“That’s because it didn’t.” I took a sip myself. There were light flavors of blackberries, chocolate, and vanilla, and the wine slid smoothly down my throat. “Wow, this is really good.” I held my glass up to the two ladies. “Cheers,” I said, and we all clinked glasses. “Do you know why we clink glasses and say cheers?” I asked them as we all sat down on the couch.
“No idea,” Jules said. “Why?”
“It’s from the olden days, when soldiers used to drink together, well, maybe not soldiers, but when men used to drink together. They would cheers and clink their glasses together so that the beverage from each glass would spill into the other glass. That way they made sure that the other hadn’t poisoned their drink because if they had the poison would now be in both glasses.”
“Oh, wow.” Stella sat back and sipped some more. “That’s cool. I never knew that. I’ll have to tell that story at the bookstore if I decide to host my books and wine night.”
“Books and wine night?” Jules looked excited. “That sounds fantastic. You never told me about that.”
“Well, that’s because it’s still up in the air. I need a license to sell alcohol in the store.” She sighed. “I’m still trying to figure out if it will be worth all the hassle.”
“Yes, it will be,” Jules and I spoke in unison and then glanced at each other and laughed.
“Great minds think alike, eh, Betsy?” Jules smiled sweetly and then rubbed her stomach. “Did you order the food yet?”
“No, let me do it now.” I pulled out my phone and opened the food delivery app. I was typing in the order when a text message from Nolan showed up on the screen. “Check your phone, Jules. Nolan just messaged me asking me if you’re going to be over for dinner. He said that you didn’t respond to his last three texts.” I rolled my eyes. “Oh my gosh, since when did my brother become so annoying?”
“Aww, I think it’s sweet.” Jules pulled her phone out of her bag and giggled. “He misses me.”
“He just saw you this morning.”
“Don’t be jealous, Betsy.” Jules laughed.
I looked over at Stella and rolled my eyes. “As if.”
“So, I heard that you left some edible underwear at the police station today for Max Fernandes.” Stella gave me an impish grin. “Tell me all, right now. I had no idea you had a thing for Max.”
“Ugh,” I groaned. “Firstly, I do not have a thing for Max Fernandes, and secondly, they weren’t edible underwear, they were crotchless, and thirdly, how the hell did you know?”
“Ha ha. Oh, Betsy. We live in Canyon Beach. A couple of the officers went by the animal shelter today with some puppies they found behind the pizzeria, and they told Abby, and she told me a couple of hours ago.”
“Why, of course.” I sighed. “I’m going to die of embarrassment now. Frigging everyone in Canyon Beach most probably knows the story.”
“They might know, but I’m sure they don’t believe it. Abby and I no way believed that you had a thing for Max Fernandes. He’s such a douche.”
“I’m surprised Abby isn’t here as well.”
Much like Jules and I, Stella and Abby kept no secrets from each other and spent their days and nights hanging out when they could. However, Abby and Stella differed from Jules and I in a few ways. The
y both looked like catwalk models (Jules and I, while pretty, were both more like the girls next door), and they both were very confident when it came to men. In fact, I had a feeling that most men in Canyon Beach wanted to date them, though they rarely got a chance. Both women were single and focused on their careers. Stella was trying to grow her bookstore, and Abby wanted to be an actress, though she spent her days working at the Canyon Beach Animal Shelter.
“Actually, she’s on her way.” Stella laughed. “I hope you don’t mind. She and I had plans to watch a movie tonight, and when Jules told me you had a dating nine-one-one, we decided it was best to come over and help you. She’s a little late because she had to close down the animal shelter tonight.”
“Oh, cool,” I said. “I definitely need as much help as I can get right now.”
“Who’s the lucky man?” Stella asked as I went back to ordering the food.
“Do you really need to ask?” Jules grabbed the wine bottle and refilled her glass.
“Officer Jefferson Evian reporting for duty?” Stella glanced at me with a grin.
“Police officers don’t report for duty, silly. That’s military men.”
“So it is Jeff?”
“Yes, it’s Jeff.”
“I knew it.” Stella nodded. “Finally, we can get to work.”
“What does that mean?”
“Abby and I have known you have had a thing for Jeff for ages.” She shrugged. “It’s about time you made your move.”
“But he’s not really a relationship guy.” I sighed. “I feel like I’m setting myself up for heartbreak. Plus, I’ve known him for years and he has never made a move on me, not once. I didn’t think he’s interested in me. He just sees me as his little sister.”
“Yeah, but you’re not his little sister.” Stella gave me a pointed look. “So, it doesn’t matter what he sees you as. You share no blood—well, at least not yet.”
“What do you mean not yet?” Jules interrupted the conversation. “Do you already have them pregnant with a kid?”