by CORY CYR
“We didn't fuck,” she said defensively.
“Maybe not in the biblical sense, but I fucked your mouth, Nic, and you let me.”
So my little one had taken our talk to heart. She planned to use the sexual words to provoke me.
“Just leave, Cass. That’s what you do best. I wasn't asking you to romance me, just some human interaction… but I guess you'd have to be human to understand that.”
24~Nicola
The moment he left, I burst into tears like a blubbering little child. He was right. I had let him fuck my mouth, and it was incredible. I’d performed the act two or three times before, but what I did with Cass had been different.
He tasted like salty ocean water, and his texture was molten silk stretched over steel. His member was thick and long and it throbbed in my hand. It almost appeared as a separate entity from his body because it reacted to everything I did.
Because I’d done it before, I knew to lick the drops of pre-cum off the head and fondle his balls. His hard, muscled body had enthralled me and compelled me to pleasure him. I had wanted to lick him everywhere, starting with his ears and neck, working my way down to his nipples that punctuated his tanned, ripped chest and finally reaching and circling the tattoo. He was a beautiful man that had a handsome face and the slickest body I'd ever seen, yet this immaculate exterior was just a chamber for an empty vessel void of human emotion and desires.
I had never truly known if I pleasured Chris. He’d loved me and when we were together, it had been perfection, but I’d never asked him and he’d never said whether he was satisfied. He was much older than me, so I knew he had more experience and was skilled at lovemaking. I, on the other hand, didn't know anything and had to be taught, which I'm sure was one of the things Chris loved. He’d wanted to be the man that showed me everything. Now I was forty years old and still didn't have adequate skills to please a man. Hell, until Cass, I didn’t even know how to pleasure myself.
I'd just answered my own question. He was my teacher, and I was his student—a research study. Somehow, I’d allowed my emotions to get muddled and had confused willingness to “show me the ropes” with attraction.
I had no doubt he was interested in me, but it was because of my history. I was the perfect candidate: old, inexperienced, and amendable. I'd let my emotions get away from me and somehow they’d latched onto Cass. How immature I was thinking a man like him could ever feel anything toward me when he was naturally a stone. He’d led me to believe in several instances that he might care about me, but he was emotionally detached. He only cared about the research. I would never be more to him than that, and when the study was over, we would be too.
I could walk away. It would be in my best interest to do so, but there was a part of me clinging to some small thread of hope that he might actually want me. I felt stupid, punished, and maybe this was the penalty for doing all these intimate things with Cass. Maybe Chris was sending me a warning.
Run.
25~Caspian
That woman was bringing me to my knees; she was going to be my downfall. No amount of pushing her away, mistreating her, or even running from her would relieve the ache I felt in my chest. It almost matched the headache she’d given me.
My body clearly wanted her, but my logic yelled, Bad idea. If I were to think of this problem rationally, I could break it down and figure it out. She was a perplexing creature that was driving me out of my mind. Walking away from her would solve this, but like a fucking magnet, she pulled me back. If only Lorraina had given me the means to exile myself from goddamn Acquiesce, I wouldn't be questioning my intellect.
So why was it I was trying to get away from the one person whose value in my research study was going to make my book? I really should be embracing her and treating her better, because in all reality, I needed her to complete these final three sexual exercises. Those acts would be the nucleus of the last chapter. If I kept treating her badly, she just might eventually tell me to fuck off—now that I’d expressed to her that I wanted her to use everyday sexual vocabulary.
Jesus, the things I’d said to her. I had difficulty understanding why those comments made me feel abominable. Normally, with other people, I'd never had to justify my actions, physical or verbal, but in her case, she was constantly barraging with me questions or statements. That woman was a virtual thorn in my side.
Regardless, her mouth was sweet. I felt my mind go blank as my body gave in to her touch. I don't think I'd ever felt anything so deliriously physical. She might have been a novice, but her inclination to please me overshadowed any of that. Being in her mouth was truly one of the finest pleasures I’d ever had. I would have preferred to release between her lips, but I was sure it was something she hadn't done before, so I chose her chest and that damn white bikini.
I grated my teeth as I stepped into the shower, knowing I had to make certain decisions in order to keep this research from being biased. I already knew the only way to utilize the next ten days here was to find Nic another partner. I had to push aside my personal feelings and allow the scholar and researcher in me to emerge. I had only ten days. I could handle this. Once these observations were completed, my work would be whole.
I’d tried my best to keep this professional, but somehow she’d whittled her way into my psyche. I tried everything to push her away, so in lieu of that, I knew having another man replace me would finalize her hatred. I had a strong sense that she thought I didn't mean what I said and that I wouldn't go through with my plan of using someone else. Yes, Nic would despise me, and I would accept it because it was better that she detest me than ever love me.
***
I thought I'd find her out by the pool, but she was sitting alone in the outdoor dining room.
“How are you feeling this morning?” I asked as I pulled out the chair across from her.
She didn't look up, just continued to stare at her cup of coffee. “Just peachy, and you?” she asked. I could hear the discontentment in her voice.
“Looking forward to wrapping up the final three exercises on my list,” I replied in a tone that portrayed noninterest. Is there some rationale I have to sound like a prick?
Nic looked over at me. She appeared tired and her lips were fixed as she pinned me with a cold stare. “Yeah, looking forward to that too. I was thinking about it last night and I've decided it would be better if I shared those experiences with someone other than you. I think you’re right and I totally agree with your assessment.”
Though the rational part of me was agreeing with her statement, the resentfulness I felt almost overwhelmed my logical thought. Was I testing myself? Could I sit back and be a voyeur as another man took her down the path I’d chosen for her, hoping she'd get frightened and flee?
I’d undoubtedly come up with three sexual trials that would make or break Nic. I knew she would crumble under the pressure of completing those tasks. I’d planned that would occur, that she would choose to forgo anymore sexual experimentation between us. But after last night, I felt frantic in my need to push her away—to force her to be with someone else. Maybe I was just convenient and she'd find just as much enjoyment and sensuality with another man.
I would have to choose wisely. Which escort? Even though I wanted Nic to be frightened, I didn't want her terrorized. I just needed her to understand what kind of man I was, and she should look for someone else a little more like Chris, less me. Even though I’d told her there was a fine line between pleasure and pain, I’d planned to be the one to show her that boundary and help her cross over if she so chose. But she’d pushed me to a cliff I could never jump off of, so I elected to give up my desire and let another man take her.
I got up and turned away from her as I looked out at the ocean. “Meet me this evening at the room upstairs, the one where we watched together. You remember which door? I'm going to interview the escorts and find the best candidate for you. We may use a different one for tomorrow night. We'll just see what happens.”
&
nbsp; “As you wish,” Nic whispered, never looking in my direction.
I had hoped she would turn around, but I could see her dejected reflection in the glass, and it mirrored my own. Tonight was a night I didn't look forward to.
***
Finding the suitable escort for tonight would require some questioning as well as patience on my part. I knew what I had to do, yet there was a constant ticking in my jaw that could quickly escalate into rage if I didn't reason with myself.
There was nowhere for this to go logically. Nic and I could never be. She wanted something from me that I’d spent years cultivating. I found any emotional ties, love, irrational. What I felt for her was lust, plain and simple. If I could fuck her, what I felt would evaporate. I just wanted her—something I couldn't have.
Without a doubt, I could persuade her into my bed, but I knew that would crush her emotionally. She wanted so much more than I could give, and I did like her. I liked her enough to want to prepare her for the outside, for the likelihood that the man she was looking for would find her. Nic was so ill prepared, even at her mature age. She had no sexual skill set, but she did have the willingness to please and try things that I supposed were unorthodox to her. By the time I was done, she would begin fresh and she would possess the necessary ability to have a rich life with someone she deserved.
I questioned quite a few of Acquiesce’s escorts and found one that would serve my purpose. Justin seemed to have the correct temperament. He was about my age, attractive, and quiet. One of his favorite sexual pleasures was bondage with some light kink. We spoke for about an hour, with me explaining the session to him. He asked if I planned to watch, and I said no, because I didn't want him to be aware of my presence, which could taint his performance with Nic.
“I don't want it rough. I do not want you to hurt her,” I told Justin clearly.
“So what do you want me to do? Since this is your gig, just lay it all out for me,” he said eagerly.
“Binding, either soft cuffs or bondage tape. She's been blindfolded, so that's a yes. Maybe light flogging,” I told him, quickly spitting out the words. I felt like I was choking on ice. My list was cold and impersonal.
“Sex. I assume I can fuck her?”
I stood there immobilized for a moment, trying to comprehend his question. Did I want him to fuck her, and could I watch? I'm a scholar, for God's sake. She is part of my study. Tonight's reactions would go into my notebook just like any other subject. I shouldn't even have to think about what he just asked. Bondage is part of fucking; it's a sexual high—one she should experience.
“Cass?” Justin repeated.
I looked at him for a moment and could almost visualize their bodies engaged as her ankles were bound to the bed and her arms stretched above her head, handcuffed to the posts.
“Cass, look, man, are you sure about this? I know you and she have kind of a thing. I don't want to cock block another man's woman.”
I glared at him with a brittle look. “We are not together—not like that. Nic and I are friends only. I'm trying to help her recover from a eleven-year sexual hiatus.”
“Seriously, she's been celibate for over ten years? That's fucking crazy. She is somewhat hot for her age. I guess I should be honored, then, that you're asking me to be her first in so many years.”
Along with my irritation, I felt hesitation. This entire situation was making me feel uncomfortable. Feel… There was that fucking word again. Ever since I met her, it seemed to pop up more and more often.
“I mean it, Justin. Do not put a mark on her body. I realize doing some of what we spoke about requires a heavy hand, but tread lightly. I do not want her hurt. Am I clear?”
Justin nodded. I could tell now he was second-guessing tonight and appeared apprehensive in his decision to do it.
We spent another thirty minutes finalizing details. My skull felt like someone was squeezing a vise around it. Everything I'd ever known was now a debate in my mind. She had done this. She had ruined me. For all the intellect and superiority that resided inside me, I’d never doubted my reasoning—until her. She’d made me unequivocally question it all.
I was Caspian Vance, a professor of human sexuality, a student of knowledge, and a genius in the bedroom. This was insanity. How many times would I have to tell myself that this was just a case of narcissism? I valued my looks, body, intelligence, and my sexual prowess, and this was just an instance of not getting the candy I wanted.
I'd been allowed to watch, lick, and nibble, but never to bite down or swallow. The egomaniac inside me was unnerved. In reality, Nic did want me. She made that clear. It was me steering the sex in a very different direction. There was a part of me I didn't recognize because that emotion centered on empathy and I’d never been exposed to it.
For some odd reason, I couldn't hurt Nic. I knew I’d hurt her with my words and my behavior, but this wound could go so much deeper if I allowed myself to fuck her. I despised the way I felt. These feelings were foreign and didn't belong in my head. I would no longer be able to control my surroundings if I allowed her to get to me. I hung my head as I closed my eyes, because I knew tonight would change everything—for both of us.
Dusk came much earlier than I hoped. I didn't see Justin again after we spoke, but I knew he was waiting in the unmarked room at the end of the hall. I trudged to the room and went to my dedicated spot in front of the two-way mirror. Normally, I paced back and forth as I watched, scribbling frantically in my notebook, but tonight called for sitting.
I sat in the same chair Nic had that first night. I could almost still smell her fear and apprehensiveness. In all actuality, I possessed the same emotions now. I leaned back into the chair as I positioned my pad on my knee. Holding the pen in my mouth, I waited for her to enter.
26~Nicola
My nerves were about to jump out of my body. My heart was pounding and I felt sweaty. Frankly, these feelings did not scream romantic interlude. Of course, this wasn't supposed to be romantic; this was just going to be sex with some extra bonus features thrown in. I was going to be bedded by a stranger, one of the escorts who was being paid generously to seduce me.
Cass tried to ward me off by telling me tonight was going to be a darker kind of sexual experience. He'd be observing me from behind the two-way mirror. I was going to be his guinea pig for tonight. I hoped he enjoyed the show.
My damp hand slipped as I turned the knob to the unmarked room and walked in. Sitting on the bed, propped up against the headboard, was a man wearing red running shorts, who happened to be stunning. He had short black curly hair and with the dark eyes and his deeply tanned skin, he appeared to be of Greek ethnicity.
His body was a work of art—literally. His chest and arms were decorated with continual spiral tattoos. The large piece on his chest seemed to blend with the ones on both his shoulders, then wrap around each arm to his wrists. I’d never been this close to anyone who was inked so incredibly.
He had a serious-looking body that resembled a swimmer's build, with a muscular chest, strong arms, and a narrow waist, carried by a pair of powerful legs. I imagined this must be what Zeus looked like. I mean, seriously, if Cass had picked him out for me, damn, he chose well.
He slid off the bed and extended his hand to me. “I'm Justin. You must be Nic,” he said, his eyes studying me from top to bottom. “You're a very beautiful woman,” he murmured as he pulled me closer.
I suddenly felt shy. This much younger and extremely easy-on-the-eyes man was complementing me, a forty-year-old. I wasn’t an idiot. I realized he was being paid for every word and action, but regardless, after having to continuously struggle to pull any kind of reaction out of Cass, this felt good.
“So, Justin, I guess I'll just follow your lead since I gather you're the expert on all things dark and sexual,” I said nervously.
Justin moved behind me and I could feel him—all of him—press into my backside. I felt him nuzzle my neck, which caused me to respond accordingly by leaning far
ther back into him.
“So are you ready for a little kink? I think it might be what you need. Will you let me be your guide?” he purred in my ear.
He was so close that my body betrayed me as it answered by making my pussy damp with need. I was torn between two emotions: being with this gorgeous man and hopefully making Cass jealous in the process. I could actually do the second by doing the first. My inner self chuckled. I wanted to believe he was tormented as he watched another man contemplate taking me, but I knew he was standing there stoically and writing away in his little book.
“Let me undress you,” Justin whispered.
Oh, I was so ready for that. Cass had seen me in various states of undress so I was sure he assumed this would be no different, but I’d visited my friend Simon at the Acquiesce boutique and he’d dressed me accordingly.
Justin slowly pulled my dress off my shoulders, pressing a kiss to each one. It had been so long since I’d heard lips make that sound, and I bent my head to one side to relish the feel of his mouth on my skin. He pulled the dress down farther and stopped when he got to my demi bra. It was sheer silk with a lace brocade in a delicate apricot color, and the underwire made my breasts push upward, almost overflowing the bra. I heard Justin release a soft hiss. Then he bent his head and kissed in the crevice of my cleavage. He slipped his hand into one of the cups and began kneading my nipple, stroking it with the pad of his thumb.
His touch caused a soft moan to blow out of my lips. I didn't know if Cass could hear us, but I was sure he noticed the expression on my face. It was at that moment Justin tried to kiss me.
“No, please don't,” I said as I turned away my head. I'd seen Cass do it so often when he was with me it almost came as second nature.
“Okay, no kissing on the mouth. Do you have any objections if I kiss you here?” he asked as he pressed his lips to my right breast. “Or here?” he asked as he swept the dress the rest of the way down, causing it to pool at my feet. Justin kneeled, resting on his knees as he nuzzled my sex through my thong, sending a pulsation straight to my core. The pulsing became so forceful I was sure he could hear it.