by S. Nelson
I understood why Cara had agreed to the auction, and I realized it was for a great cause, but couldn’t her friend have picked someone else to do it? Anyone else?
More than annoyed that I was going to have to accompany Cara on her date, a small sense of relief coursed through me because I realized nothing could happen between them. Not with me nearby.
A bead of sweat formed on my brow, and I swore my entire body had been lit on fire. My lungs strangled my breaths, and I could barely retain a thought long enough to speak the words.
At first, Owen’s eyebrows squished together but after he looked me up and down, he grinned, slightly shaking his head.
“What?” My tone deepened, making me sound like I was possessed.
“I was just thinking the combination is cute.”
“What?” I repeated, thoroughly confused.
“Cody and Cara.” The bastard looked straight ahead, ignoring the fact I could barely breathe. “What do you think their celebrity name will be?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Calm down. This isn’t a big deal. It’s one night. Then she’ll go on with her life. I thought my pathetic inner pep talk did the trick until I remembered that Owen had just asked me a question.
“Their celebrity name. It’s when they mash up two people’s names and spit out a nickname for the couple.” He tapped his finger against his chin. “How about Codra? No, that won’t work. What about Cocara?” He laughed when I closed my eyes and took two deep breaths.
No response came to mind. Not a “you’re being an asshole.” Not a “fuck off.” Nothing. All I could do was consciously remind myself that my brother was getting his kicks by messing with me. That the date between Cara and Cody would be over with soon enough. That my jealousy toward the two of them together was ill placed and not professional.
“Well?”
“I don’t give a shit about something so stupid. Talk to me again when you have something worthwhile to discuss.” His laughter spurred me to walk away before he burrowed further under my skin.
Craving the taste of whiskey was unfortunate because I couldn’t drink while on duty, and watching the bartenders serve shots freely was pure torment. Okay, maybe not so dramatic, but I would certainly welcome the relief the burn of the alcohol would give me.
“You know you can have one drink. I won’t tell anyone.” Cara had snuck up behind me, touching my arm to get my attention. I couldn’t believe my focus had been off her long enough for her to surprise me. I blamed the distraction of my brother and my thoughts of her upcoming date. No excuse would be good enough for Walter, however, if something happened to either of his daughters under our watch.
“I’m working” was the only response I gave her, taking a step to the side so she had enough room to order a drink. The bartender practically ignored everyone else just to get to her. I rolled my eyes before looking around the large room. My keen observation told me I didn’t have anything to worry about right then, but because our situation could change from second to second, I remained alert and focused, as much as I could while continuing to battle my inner distractions.
Twenty minutes passed, which meant we were closer to ending the evening, although we weren’t quite finished yet. Various people, both men and women, approached Cara, either complimenting her on her outfit or applauding her for her generosity with the auction. I had to tune out the women when they fussed over the fact she’d be going out with Cody, and I had to bite my tongue when they referenced how lucky she’d be if she got to sleep with him. It was like they had no filter, no sense of proper social conversation, especially in front of people they didn’t know, namely me.
Cara drank the last of her wine, but as she stretched her arm toward the bar to put the glass down, it slipped through her fingers and hit the ground, shattering on impact.
“Are you okay?” I asked, promptly moving her to the side so she didn’t step on the shards, even though her feet were protected by her heels.
Cara didn’t answer. Instead, a slight tremble shook through her. For the briefest of moments, I thought she was drunk and had somehow misjudged the placement of her glass, but my assumption disappeared when I looked at her face. Her complexion paled and her eyes widened. Whimpers fell from her lips, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying, my concern turning up a notch when I saw her chin tremble.
Her breath burst from her body as if it pained her to release the air, only to be sucked back into her lungs in short and strained spurts. Her posture locked up tightly but not before she reached out to touch my arm. The whisper of her touch faded before I read too much into it.
“Cara, what’s wrong?”
Her glassy eyes bore into mine until she diverted back toward someone who was directly in her line of sight. When I followed her gaze, the only people I saw walking toward us was her friend, Stephanie and a middle-aged couple.
“There you are.” Her friend laughed before pulling her into a hug. “Thanks again for doing this. I’m not shocked you raised fifty-thousand dollars.” Cara’s distress evaporated, making me think I imagined the whole thing.
“You know me.” Her comment was lighthearted, but her voice was shaky, at best.
Stephanie turned around and curved her arm over a woman’s shoulder. “My parents wanted to thank you, too.”
Her mother was petite with dark brown hair. She was dressed in a black, floor-length dress, a pink ribbon pinned near her heart.
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Cara. It means so much to me. To us.” Her mother embraced Cara before returning to whom I could only assume was her husband. Stephanie’s father.
“I’m happy to do it. Besides, did you see who I’m going on a date with?” Cara joked, but it was strained, although I believed I was the only one who picked up on the tenseness of her tone. While I didn’t like her comment, I said nothing, remaining still and looking on to see if Cara would reveal the reason for her odd reaction moments ago.
“He’s the lucky one,” Stephanie’s mother rebutted.
“He sure is.” The man standing beside Stephanie’s mother flashed Cara a quick and reserved smile, the grin slipping from his face when she suddenly moved backward and smacked into me, her hand reaching behind her to find mine. She grasped onto my wrist and at first, I thought she may have stumbled and was trying to steady herself, but the tighter she squeezed, the more I knew her balance wasn’t the issue.
“I know you haven’t seen my dad in years, but surely you remember him, right?” Stephanie’s expression faded into confusion when she glanced back and forth between her father and Cara, and had I not been paying attention so intently I wouldn’t have seen the odd exchange because it happened so fast.
“I… I do.” I swore if Cara squeezed any tighter, I would lose all feeling in my damn hand. What the hell was going on? Obviously, I couldn’t ask her in front of the three of them, so instead, I placed my free hand on her waist, sensing she needed some sort of support from me. She didn’t flinch at the gesture.
A wave of unease passed through the group, and that time I wasn’t the only one to sense it. Tension-filled breaths mingled amongst everyone present before Stephanie cleared her throat. “Well, I know my parents want to say hello to yours. So, I’ll talk to you later on?” Stephanie’s brows rose in wait.
“Of course.” Cara’s grip relaxed before eventually slipping away altogether.
“Oh, by the way, James called and told me that he can’t make it tonight.” Stephanie tilted her head down. “Maybe next time.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
After the three of them left, Cara signaled for the bartender, downing half her drink in three gulps before ordering another.
* * *
Cara
“Don’t you think you should slow down?” Ford’s closeness gave me goose bumps, and while I’d clutched on to him for dear life, a gesture I wasn’t about to explain any time soon, I needed him to back away and give me some space.
“Do
n’t you get tired of butting into my business?” I asked, finishing off the rest of my drink and picking up the refill.
I should’ve been disheartened that the opportunity to meet James Hollen had fallen through, but I could only fixate on one thing at a time, and my past slapping me in the face unfortunately had flown to the top of the list.
The moment I laid eyes on Paul Adler, Steph’s father, I thought I’d been in the midst of a nightmare, much like I’d been bombarded with years past. No one knew of the horrors that man put me through, and I sure as hell didn’t want to relive any of that shit right then, which was why I signaled for the bartender to bring me another drink.
Two sips into my third glass of wine and Emily sidled up next to me. “Whatcha doin’?” I could detect the faintest smell of alcohol, but then maybe that was coming from me. “Are you excited about your date with Cody?”
I shrugged, playing off my enthusiasm for my future date. Tonight was the first time I’d officially met the man, but I’d seen several of his movies and thought he was talented. I’d even seen him at a club last year, but ended up getting wrecked and had to leave before I caused a scene, something I’d done quite freely before. I wasn’t saying my wild ways were behind me, because I wasn’t a fortune teller, but I would at least make an attempt to behave myself. Although, depending on the amount of alcohol that passed my lips tonight, it would be hard to control myself.
Sensing I wasn’t going to dive into the topic of Cody, Emily switched the subject. “Did you see Steph’s parents?” She didn’t wait for my answer before she continued to babble on. “I haven’t seen them in forever. They look good. She looks healthy, especially for someone who has been through two bouts of cancer. And he—"
I never allowed my sister to finish speaking before I pushed off the bar, grabbed my drink, and walked away. She called after me, but I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t. The alcohol coursing through me only fueled my craving for numbness. I didn’t need to brush elbows with the past. I’d lived there for longer than I cared to admit, and Emily’s comments, although innocent, threw me into a tailspin.
Escaping to the ladies’ room gave me the time I needed to try and compose myself. It’d been rude to walk away from my sister so abruptly, but I knew if I didn’t leave then, I might’ve said something I’d later regret.
“You’re a grown-ass woman,” I whispered to my reflection. “You’re fine.” Lowering my head so as not to see the lie behind my eyes, I inhaled several times and continued giving myself a silent pep talk.
Two women walked up next to me and washed their hands, looking at me through the mirror.
“You’re the one who’s going on a date with Cody Caverly, aren’t you?” the shorter of the two asked. I believed she knew the answer to her question before she asked it, but I supposed she wanted to make conversation.
“I am.”
“You’re so lucky,” her blonde friend added. “He is so hot.”
“He’s the lucky one, ladies.” I flashed them a smirk, hoping they bought the façade I tried to sell and exited the restroom, only to run right smack dab into someone. And it wasn’t the person I would’ve thought.
“Pardon me.” Paul retreated a step. I refused to refer to him as Mr. Adler because that acknowledgment meant I respected him, and that ludicrous sentiment was furthest from the truth.
Never before had I wished so badly for Ford to hover around, because I needed him right then, even though I hated to admit that to myself.
I attempted to sidestep the man, but he moved to block me. I tried once more, and he repeated his action. He was exactly how I remembered him all those years back, the increase in fine lines around his eyes doing nothing to detract from his good looks. To the world. But if they knew what he’d done, they’d see him for who he really was.
A sorry excuse for a husband.
A shitty representation of a man.
A bastard who preyed on his daughter’s friend.
“Cara.”
“Don’t you dare say my name.” I hated how he seemed to be unaffected by my presence when I was twisted up inside at having to see him, let alone be so close to him with no one around to save me.
Where the hell is Ford?
He cleared his throat several times, looking at me, then away, then back to me. Unease was the least of things he should feel.
Horror.
Shame.
Regret.
Fear.
I hoped all four feelings strangled him every single day of his miserable life.
“I never got the chance to apologize for what happened. I’m ashamed of the way I acted all those years ago.” He leaned closer. Too close. “For what happened between us.”
All I wanted to do was hightail it out of there, forget the past. Forget he existed. But my feet were anchored to the ground, my brain dillydallying in telling my legs to run. I wanted nothing more than to scream and shout, to tell him he stole my childhood and shoved me into a world of rebellion and destruction, but my words failed me, much like my instinct to flee.
I lowered my head briefly, driving myself insane with all the random thoughts and memories barreling down on me. I couldn’t settle on a specific one, all of them melting together and making me dizzy.
“Please say you can forgive me.” His hands disappeared behind his back, and for some reason, I read his body language as insincere. He looked like he didn’t want to have the conversation at all, but since he’d run into me, he felt he should say something. “I’m really sorry, Cara.”
I cringed. I hated the sound of those last two syllables coming out of his mouth. They were like acid to my ears. I remembered how he said my name when he backed me against the wall in his office. Drunk. Telling me how pretty I was and that all he wanted was a distraction from his life. I remembered how he shoved his hands between my legs and roughly cupped me, whispering my name in my ear, his breath hot and potent with whiskey.
Internally, I was a fucking mess. My stomach flipped every few seconds and my heart pounded inside my chest, aching from the sheer number of beats per second.
Trying to appear strong in front of him was difficult, but I didn’t want him to view me as weak. I needed to take back control, even if it was but a sliver.
“What exactly are you sorry for?” My voice shook.
“For everything.” He bowed his head for a moment before looking back to me. “I was in a strange place back then.”
“A strange place,” I parroted, the statement enough to warrant my uninterrupted attention. “A strange place?” My brain needed those few seconds to compute what he’d said. “I was only fourteen.” Unshed tears blurred my vision, my chin quivering at the recollection. I retreated until my back hit the wall, my past and my present colliding to form the perfect storm.
* * *
Ford
All sorts of bullshit distracted me from properly doing my job that evening. Owen’s teasing about Cara and Cody together. Watching the way Cody visually devoured Cara when he’d been talking and how she appeared to love it. Projecting the outcome of their future date. Envisioning her trying to convince me to wait in the car while she spent time alone with him wherever they ended up.
Giving her a few minutes to do what she had to, I walked across the room before turning the corner into the hallway near the restrooms, stopping when I saw two people.
Cara and Stephanie’s father.
Her back pressed against the wall while he stood in front of her, too close for my liking. I took a single step toward them and that was when Cara saw me. Her chest deflated the moment her eyes locked on mine. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought she was relieved to see me.
“Everything okay here?” I advanced closer until I brushed his shoulder with mine, an intimidation move that didn’t go unnoticed.
The guy looked up at me and nodded before turning back to Cara. “I meant what I said.”
She looked away briefly before looking back to me and not him, an e
xpression flashing across her face I couldn’t pinpoint.
Fear?
Relief?
Doubt?
Anger?
Several more tense seconds passed before he finally left, leaving me alone with Cara. I prepared for the backlash of interrupting them, but she never yelled. She never chastised me for breaking up their conversation.
“Where were you?” Her tone implied annoyance at my absence, but I had to be interpreting that all wrong. Why would she want me close when all she’d tried to do since the day I met her was to get as far away from me as possible?
“I was giving you time to sort yourself out.”
“Perfect time for you to give me space,” she mumbled before walking away, continuing to talk to herself as she pushed her way through the throngs of people in the main ballroom.
I followed but kept my distance for fear she’d start shouting at me for whatever reason she deemed warranted.
“What’s with her?” Owen asked, appearing out of nowhere. Although, had I not had my eyes glued to the back of Cara, I would’ve seen him approach.
“I have no idea. But that’s nothing new.”
“True.”
Cara stood next to her parents, smiling at something her mother said. But the way her eyes darted around the room and the way she shifted her feet made me think she’d rather be anywhere but here.
“We need to find out some information on Stephanie Adler’s father,” I said, keeping my attention focused on Cara.
“Why?”
“There’s something there.”
“What do you mean?” Owen shoved at my arm when I didn’t respond right away, heightening my aggravation at the unknown to a whole other level.
“I saw him and Cara in the hallway.” I stopped talking when Cody walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist before kissing her cheek. She startled, but once she realized it was him, she smiled, and for the first time I wondered if she’d ever look at me like that. My thought surprised me, but thanks to my brother, I never had time to dwell on it.