by Lexi Blake
She bit into that gorgeous bottom lip, the sight going straight to his cock. “Proclivities? What do you mean? Are you bi?”
He shook his head. “I’m one hundred percent hetero, sweetheart. But I do like to spank my partners from time to time. Nothing harsh. Maybe a little flogger play. I like to be in charge of the sexual side of my relationships.”
Her whole body flushed, the blush rushing across her like a tidal wave. Yeah, he had her attention now. “You’re a sadist?”
Ah, the uneducated. He’d been around Grace and Serena for too long. He’d forgotten there were women who didn’t understand BDSM. It seemed they all read the novels these days. “No. I’m not a sadist. Well, there’s a tiny bit of it in there, but I never cause my submissives more pain than they want. I’m a Dom. Do you know what that means?”
“I’ve heard the term before. Some of the women in the office were talking about fetish clubs and Doms.” Her voice was just breathy enough that he was sure she’d been intrigued. It was up to him to get her even more curious.
“Ian belongs to one of those clubs,” Liam said. “And I belong to one back in the States. I’m a regular there, though I don’t have a full-time submissive. I play around. I train other Doms and some couples. I’m certified in Shibari and all forms of suspension play.”
Her eyes went round, and a sexy little smile lit her face. “Certified?”
It was time to make her comfortable. “Yes, certified. Safety is very important, and so is proper form and protocols. Especially when playing in public. In private, with someone I care about, it’s not so formal. It’s more intimate, and we can make up our own rules.”
He could see the pulse on her throat racing. Her breathing was a bit shallower than before.
“I don’t know, Lee. I’m not very experienced.”
“But you’re not a virgin, either.” He’d never prized virginity. He’d lost his own at the age of fifteen to a woman in his block of flats. He didn’t expect a woman to come to him without a little mileage of her own.
She looked down, her eyes darkening slightly. “That was a long time ago, and there hasn’t been anyone since.”
Fuck. Eve had told him she thought Avery hadn’t had many lovers, but she hadn’t had sex in ten years? He’d spent his twenties fucking his way across three continents, and she’d been a bloody nun. He found his role slipping a little. His curiosity about her wasn’t an act. It was real and visceral. “Why?”
Her head came back up, but there was a sadness in her eyes. “A lot of reasons.”
He let his arm tighten and pulled her close. He followed his instincts. He might be a son of a bitch, but he was a good Dom. A good Dom knew when a sub needed comfort. Fuck. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t a cuddler. Alex McKay was the Dom every sub ran to for cuddles and a shoulder to cry on. Liam was the Dom subs ran to for a good flogging and a meaningless fuck, but holding Avery felt so right. Her softness practically blanketed him. “You don’t have to tell me.”
She frowned for a minute and then her head found his shoulder, her hand lying across his chest. “I was in and out of hospitals for a long time after my accident. I guess I was in recovery for years. Not that people in hospitals don’t have sex. Seriously. They do. A lot. But I didn’t.”
He knew the story, but hearing it come from her somehow made it more real. “So you had surgery?”
“A bunch of them. I spent a couple of years in nursing homes.” She shuddered a little.
Nursing homes. Sad dank places that smelled like piss and shit and death. He couldn’t imagine her stuck in a bed, shoved away and forgotten. “Why the hell did they put you there?”
She settled in, hugging him closer as though physical contact made the story easier to tell. She hadn’t seemed to mind his gruff question. “I didn’t have anyone to take care of me. My parents were gone. My husband and, well, my husband died in the accident. I didn’t have siblings. I was alone, and I couldn’t take care of myself so insurance paid for a nursing home for a while. It wasn’t so bad.”
She was trying to calm him now, her hand brushing across his chest as though he was the one who needed the comfort. And he kind of did.
“Where were your husband’s parents? His family should have been yours after you married him.” Family should stick together. He didn’t have a family anymore, but if Rory had been married, he would have bloody well made sure his wife was taken care of.
“They were older when Brandon was born. He was their only child. They were devastated after Brandon and…well, they were wrecked after Brandon died. They came to see me, but they couldn’t take care of me. It was okay. It was good to have visitors every now and then.”
Someone as sweet as her should have had visitors every day, should have had someone in the world who would step up and take some fucking responsibility. He could already see she was a caregiver. Hell, she tried to help people she didn’t know. He couldn’t imagine she hadn’t done it all her life, so where were all the people she’d helped when she needed them? Where had her fucking aunt been? But she hadn’t told him about her aunt so he couldn’t call her on it. It was hard to keep straight what Lee knew and what Liam knew. “How long was it before you got out of the home?”
“I was in and out for a couple of years. But then I qualified for this experimental surgery. It was perfect because the doctors and hospitals involved had grants to cover the costs of everything, and I didn’t have to depend on insurance anymore. And within a year, I was walking, really walking again. I met this man named Brian Molina and he introduced me to Thomas, my boss, and now I’m seeing the world and I have a whole new life. I guess those years feel a little lost to me. I was closed down. I wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship.”
And the hesitance in her voice told him she might not be ready now, but he was going to push her. She was on the edge. He couldn’t play it cool with her. With any other woman, he would pull back, let her come to him. He would allow her to pursue so she understood that he could take her or leave her and all the proper expectations could be set.
But this was a job. And when he’d sat up half the night thinking about her, he’d realized he didn’t even want to treat her with his usual careful distance. He wanted to get her close.
Deep in the night, he’d acknowledged the fact that he wanted this time with her. He would walk away when it was over, but he was going to enjoy her while she was here. Just for a few days, he wouldn’t be the righteous bastard he’d been for the last ten years. He was going to indulge in the man he might have been. Open. Caring. Worthy of someone like Avery.
He tilted her head up, bringing her face to meet his. Adam had apparently taken her to a makeup counter. She’d put on makeup, but it only enhanced her already sweet features.
She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Not even close. He’d been with so many lovely women, younger and thinner. So why did she call to him? Why had he sat up all night with an aching cock and a guilty conscience?
He shoved the conscience aside. It was an unwanted intrusion. And the aching cock wouldn’t go away until he’d had her. Which he intended to do very soon.
“We can take this as slowly as you want, but I need to put my cards on the table. I want to be honest with you.” God, he was a bastard, but it was kind of the truth. He wanted to be honest with her. He simply couldn’t. “Any sexual relationship with me is going to involve Dominance and submission. I can play it vanilla for a while, but not forever. I need control.”
That wasn’t a lie. He couldn’t handle being out of control. He’d been a bit of a control freak before the incident that took his brother’s life. He was so much worse now.
“Vanilla?” Avery asked, humor in the tilt of her mouth.
Yes, he’d spent way too much time in clubs. He’d forgotten some people didn’t understand the language. “That’s the kink term for plain sex. The type that doesn’t involve bondage and a promise of submission.”
“So what does the sub
get in return for all this submission?”
That was easy. “Multiple orgasms.”
Even in the low light, he could see the way her pupils dilated. She was sexually aroused by all the talk. “Well, I have to admit I never really liked vanilla. I’m more of a strawberry girl.”
Thank god for that. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers, reveling in the soft feel of her. Everything about Avery was soft and feminine. He let his hand come up to sink into her hair. She’d put it up in a ponytail, but he liked it down and long. It was best to begin as he meant to go. Teaching Avery to submit to him, to obey him in certain circumstances without question, just might save her life. Yeah, that was how he could justify it. He pulled the ponytail out, the soft brown tresses tumbling past her shoulders. “Wear your hair down for me. I like it long.”
She shivered a little. Her mouth played along his. She was getting bolder about being affectionate. “I guess I can do that.”
He tugged just a little on her hair, fisting it lightly. “You’ll do it to please me. You’ll do it because I find it sexy and beautiful.”
Her voice was soft, just a little shaky. “Yes. I will.” There was a stubborn tilt to her chin. “Do I get to make any demands? I know I’m supposed to be the submissive one, but I might need things, too. I don’t think I like the idea that you just control me, but you get to do anything you like.”
“Ah, but that’s because you don’t understand the power exchange. Note that I used the word exchange. Listen, there are as many different ways to practice BDSM as there are people who practice it. I like to play. I like to know that my lover will turn to me when she needs something. I’ll want to protect you. And I like to give you what you need. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel necessary.” He hadn’t thought about it before. He’d first investigated the lifestyle because he needed a way to focus Rory and teach him control. His brother had enjoyed the power, but not the obligations of a Dom, and Liam had found a place where he fit. He’d enjoyed it for its honest communication. But now, he meant everything he said. He suddenly wanted to be necessary to this woman. Even if only for a little bit. “So tell me what you need. This won’t work if you don’t talk to me.”
She sighed. “I’ve really only had one relationship before. Brandon and I were so young. I don’t guess we really talked about stuff like sex.” She flushed, the pink in her cheeks doing nothing to mar her prettiness. “It’s hard to talk about this.”
“No, it’s not. It’s simple. It’s natural, baby. How will I know what you need if you don’t tell me?”
Avery seemed to struggle to find the right words. “Well, I need to know you’re with me. I’m not stupid. I know this isn’t like forever or something, but while we’re…what did you call it?”
Sex. She was talking about sex. She was talking about fucking and taking his cock until he was balls deep inside her and he couldn’t see straight, and the word he would use seemed brutally inadequate. “Play.”
“While we’re playing, I would like to know that I’m your only playmate. I know that sounds old-fashioned. I might not be up with the times…”
He cut her off because he was going to make that so simple on her. “Avery, I can promise you this. If you come to my bed, if you submit to me, then you’re the only one there. For however long this lasts, I’m yours. You want to know how I practice?” Fuck, he hadn’t really practiced before. He’d just poked his head in for a little fun, but his beliefs seemed to be coalescing, forming something real and tangible. He’d never needed a real code before, but now it was easy to know what he wanted. “It’s a two-way street. I want you, Avery, and not in a random hook-up way. I want to know you. I want to explore you. For however long that lasts, I will only be with you. If you’re mine, then I’m fucking yours, too.”
God, he really meant it. What the fuck was happening to him? He’d come to London and lost his fucking mind.
“Okay.”
It couldn’t be that simple. God. She needed a damn keeper. “What are you saying?”
“I want to try.”
He wanted clarification on that. “You want to try what?”
There it was, that deep flush. “You know.”
Yes, he knew, but he wasn’t going to let her off the hook so easily. She was going to be his. For a brief time, she would belong to him and he would have everything he wanted, and he wanted her to start talking dirty. Yes. He wanted to teach her, to train her to accept pleasure so she would expect it. “No, I don’t know. You’ll have to be plain.”
Avery blushed a little. “I want to be intimate with you.”
So sweet. So polite. So not happening. “That sounds like you want me to get into my pajamas and exchange secrets with you. I’m not your girlfriend, Avery. Tell me what you want. That’s lesson number one. Communication and honesty are the keys to the relationship I want. I need to hear you say plainly what you want.”
She hesitated, but only for a moment. He wasn’t surprised. Deep in her heart, she was a brave girl. She’d faced so much and still was open with her heart. Damn, but he didn’t understand that. “I would like for us to sleep together.”
“I’m not very sleepy.” He wasn’t going to let her get away with anything.
She groaned a little in obvious frustration. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Yes. I do. So say what you want.”
“I want to have sex.”
“So clinical. I’ll have to think about that.”
“I want to make love.”
“Sweet, but not what I’m looking for.”
Her face crinkled into the cutest pout. “Damn it, Lee. I want to fuck.”
Just like that he was primed and ready. She’d said fuck with such a sweet little heat, her eyebrows forming a V over her face as though the entire incident had offended her polite sensibilities. She would learn there wasn’t room for politeness between them.
He growled just a little. “I want to fuck, too, baby. I want to fuck all night long.”
He pulled her in hard, slamming her chest against his. He wanted to cup them, feel their weight in his hands, pluck at the nipples until they were hard little points begging for his mouth. His lips covered hers, and he was thrilled at the way she responded. She flowered open beneath him, welcoming his kiss. He wanted to spread her wide, forcing her to take his cock to the root. He would fuck her hard so she couldn’t remember another man, so he was branded on her body. He would fuck her pussy. He would take her ass. He would feel the heat of her mouth around his cock. And when she was sore from his fucking, he would still want her. He would just lube up her breasts and make another hole for his dick.
There wouldn’t be an inch of her body that wasn’t coated in his come.
He slid his tongue inside. She’d become accustomed. He didn’t have to remind her to open her mouth to him. She was so submissive. She followed his lead. Her arms wound around his neck. He loved that, too.
He knew some Doms who merely wanted their submissives to be vessels. Ian, himself, simply offered pleasure, and that only came with perfect submission. Ian wouldn’t allow a sub to put her arms around him. He made it very clear to the submissives he slept with that all he offered was his cock and a night of orgasms. Liam had been that way, too, though he’d never gone so far as to not allow a sub to touch him. He didn’t want any aggression, but Liam needed to know Avery wanted him, too. “You taste so good, baby.”
She slid her tongue over his. Yes. She was so cautious, but he was getting under her skin. He could feel it. He wanted it. She’d slid under his before he’d said a single word to her. She was a sweet little flower winding her way through his desolate garden, bringing a little life to him.
It didn’t matter that they were in a pub. He wanted to lay her out and take her. Only after he’d penetrated her would he really know that he was in control. Years had passed and she hadn’t taken anyone, but she would take him.
He was a low-life bastard motherfucker,
but she would let him inside, and just for a few minutes, he would feel like a king. His cock throbbed. He wanted to press himself against her, but the damn table was in the way. He pulled her close, trying to shift her so she could sit in his lap. He wanted her to straddle him so she could feel just what she did to him.
“Should I leave?”
Avery was startled out of the moment. She pulled away from Liam at Ian’s words. Bastard. He could have given Liam another couple of minutes. Fuck. He wouldn’t be satisfied with minutes. He wanted hours. Days. Months inside her. But he couldn’t let Ian know that. He had to play it cool.
He sat back, leaning against the back of the booth. “Anyone ready for some food?”
Ian’s eyes narrowed. There was a flat set to his jaw that told Liam he wasn’t happy about something, but he patted the bag beside him. He’d done what he could with the phone, but he obviously wasn’t thrilled with the outcome.
And Liam didn’t care. It was time to ditch Ian. It was time to start claiming his place in Avery’s life. It was time to claim his place in her bed. God, his cock was so fucking hard. He needed to get himself under control.
“I think I should head out,” Ian said. “It’s been a blast, Lee. And Avery, it was so nice to meet you. I hope to see you around.”
“At the club?” Avery asked.
Fuck. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.
Ian’s face went slightly cold. “The club?”
Liam shrugged. “I want to be upfront with her.”
Ian’s lips thinned. “It’s supposed to be an underground club, Lee.”
Ian was going to kick his ass, but Liam had to go with it. “Well, I want her to be underground with me. I have full rights at The Garden, do I not? I can bring a sub with me. I’ve read the contract.”
Ian sighed. “Yes. You can bring a sub, of course. Thank you for informing me that you might bring a sub. It will make it easier to be prepared to meet your needs.”