by Debra Doxer
As excited as I was to drive it, I was also terrified. If anything happened to that car while it was in my care, I’d die of fright before he ever got home to discover it.
“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly, a part of me hoping he’d say no.
He grinned, noticing my reaction. “You drove it last time you were here.”
“But that was with you, and you spent an hour washing it and vacuuming it out after.”
“I know you’ll take care of it. I’m not worried.” He continued polishing off his pie.
“Okay, I guess. Thanks,” I said warily, but resolved to get over it because now Theo and I wouldn’t be trapped in the house all weekend without transportation.
When the meal was over, we cleaned up together, and at the end of the evening he surprised me by pulling me into a hug. At first, I was stiff in his arms, but then I relaxed against him, knowing that coming back here was the right decision, that my father wanted me with him no matter what Kristen or anyone else thought.
“It was a good Thanksgiving, little one,” he whispered.
Then he patted me on the back and went to his room, leaving me standing there in the aftermath of his unusual show of affection, experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Most people didn’t understand him, and they wouldn’t think much of the hug he’d given me or his words of praise, but the rare moment my father and I just shared had meant everything to me.
***
Theo: Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Seeing my best friend, Theo, step off the bus was a shock. It had only been a month, but those four weeks had taken a toll on him. In his texts, he never told me how much weight he’d lost. He only said the new treatment wasn’t the kind that made your hair fall out, and I wondered how he convinced his parents to let him get on a bus looking as sick as he did.
“How’s my girl?” He grinned and the hollows in his cheeks deepened.
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. He wouldn’t like me voicing my thoughts. He wanted sarcasm and my usual wiseass remarks. In other words, he wanted normalcy. “We’ve been over this, Theo. I’m not your girl.”
He sighed and dropped his bag. “Still in denial, I see. Do I at least get a hug?”
“Yes, I know how needy you are.” We were the same height, and my arms went under his and around his back while his encircled my shoulders.
“I missed you,” I said softly by his ear, feeling the ridges of his ribs beneath my hands.
Pulling back, he grinned. “I texted you every day, just like I promised.”
I wasn’t impressed. “You texted me quotes from some stupid calendar your mom got you.”
He looked offended. “The quotes aren’t stupid.”
“Are you saying they inspire you?”
His lips twitched. “They inspire me to vomit, but pretty much everything does that.”
My grin disappeared. “It’s bad, huh?”
Theo shrugged. “Dead would be bad. This is just short of intolerable.”
That was his typical sense of humor, which left me dismayed but not completely shocked, although I had nothing witty to say in response. I wanted to ask him if it the doctors knew whether the new treatment was working yet, if he’d had a CAT scan and what his treatment plan was, but I didn’t. Theo didn’t like it when questions came at him. He talked about things in his own time.
When I went to pick up his bag for him, he shot me a warning look, telling me he was capable of carrying it himself. Then he hauled it up and asked, “Caused any trouble since you’ve been here?”
“No. I’m a model student now.” I hit the remote unlock on the car, watching as the lights flashed at us.
Theo stopped moving.
I eyed him behind me. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know,” he said, wide-eyed. “Did you steal this thing from a dealership? It looks brand new.”
I laughed. “No. It’s my father’s car.”
He scanned the length of its shiny exterior. Even the wheels shone with fresh grease my father applied every Sunday to shield the rubber from brake dust.
“Does anyone ever drive it?” Theo asked.
“Shut up and get in, but um . . . shake the dirt off your shoes first, okay?”
He chuckled while we both shook our shoes out before sliding inside. I waited for Theo to comment on the neat interior, but he only glanced around, shaking his head. Since his bedroom always looked like a cyclone hit it, I understood his shocked amusement, and by now, I was used to my father’s idiosyncrasies.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, Theo rubbed his hands together, mad-scientist style. “So, what have you got planned for me this weekend? Wild parties, strip clubs, nights full of debauchery?”
I grinned. “That or an ’80s movie marathon where we do a shot every time someone says like or totally.”
He turned toward me. “Does it include Vision Quest? Everyone forgets about Vision Quest when they talk about great movies of the ’80s.”
I wrinkled my nose. “For a reason, maybe?”
“Come on, Candy.” He held his hands out in disbelief. “‘Lunatic Fringe’ is on that soundtrack, and Madonna makes her first movie appearance ever. If that’s not classic ’80s, what is?”
“Your pants,” I deadpanned, glancing over at him.
He scowled, looking down. “What are you talking about? These are workout pants. Everyone wears them.”
“Parachute pants.” I coughed the words into my hand.
“Ha. Ha.” He rubbed his palms over the nylon material. “For your information, I’m a style icon. My mom got these for me at Bob’s Discount.”
I snorted out a laugh and saw that he was grinning too as he stared out the window. Likely he needed pants with a flexible waistline for his constantly changing weight, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that he wasn’t often up to shopping for himself.
“But seriously,” he said, “you don’t have any plans with friends or something?”
“You’re my only friend. You know that.” Tonight was the homecoming dance, but I didn’t plan on mentioning that to him, or the fact that I never intended to go in the first place. He wouldn’t approve.
“Bullshit,” he said.
“I’m not a liar,” I replied, pretending to be affronted.
He shot me a skeptical look.
“Fine, but I’m not lying now. You’re still my only real friend.”
Theo watched out the window as I pulled into the driveway. “Then you’d better make more,” he said, “because there’s no second F in this BF.”
The car jerked as I hit the brake pedal and slammed it into park. “Okay, that’s two death jokes in less than ten minutes. Is there something you’re not telling me? Is the treatment not working?”
His gaze moved down to his hands now clasped in his lap. When it came back up again, a smile grew beneath it. “No news on the treatment yet. Sorry about the jokes. You’re the only one I could ever joke with about this stuff. Since you left . . . Anyway, I wasn’t trying to upset you.” Then his smile tightened, and his gaze turned pleading.
I felt guilty looking at him. He wanted the freedom to be morose sometimes, to shrug off the good attitude his family demanded and just wallow in it instead. He wanted the freedom to be that way with me. He was asking a lot.
Despite the reassuring smile I was wearing, I could feel the remnants of familiar anger bubbling inside me. I hadn’t wanted to be friends with Theo. When I first saw his hairless head and his sunken eyes in school, I’d guessed what he was dealing with, and I was determined not to know him. But then I saw him in the hallway later. He was gripping the wall just outside the bathroom, looking like he was about to collapse.
Dropping my bag, I’d gone to him and helped him to the toilet inside the men’s room, where he lost what little he’d eaten that day. I rubbed his back and gave him my water bottle. H
e gripped my hand, and for some reason, he’d never let it go.
“Sorry, Theo. Joke about whatever you want. Your retro wardrobe, my lack of a social life, the angel of death stalking your ass. It’s all good.”
Theo gave me a lopsided grin, and my heart stopped squeezing quite so tightly.
Turning off the ignition, I opened my door. “Come on in,” I said quietly. “I’ll show you where I grew up.”
After punching in the alarm code, I showed Theo around the house, and then we went into the kitchen where I fed him some leftover cookies. He took a bite to be polite and complimented my baking, but I knew he couldn’t really taste anything. Chemo messed too much with your taste buds.
As I watched him, suddenly the idea of sitting around all night watching movies wasn’t so appealing, but I knew Theo wasn’t up for much.
“Let’s go out to the movies,” I suggested.
His forehead creased. “No Vision Quest?”
“Not unless it’s playing at the multiplex. How about that new movie based on a Nicholas Sparks book? I think Channing Tatum is in it.”
Theo nearly spit out his cookie. “What have I ever done to you?”
“Fine,” I huffed, dropping down into the chair across from him. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I went in search of movies and times. We finally settled on the latest Avengers film. I could see just about anything from action to romance, but Theo needed shit to blow up.
Rather than dragging him out for a meal he’d only pick at, I made us some toast and fruit, hoping he’d eat them. I also set a cup of tea down in front of him. These were the types of meals I’d made my mom, and I tried not to let the memories swamp me as I sat down across from him.
After eating most of what I’d made, which pleased me, Theo wanted to lie down for a little while before we left. That little while turned into three hours. I let him sleep, hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed if he slept all night and missed the movie.
My own disappointments and emotions were pushed to the back of my mind. If I let myself think too much, I’d never get through the weekend. Theo was in bad shape when I first met him. After months of slowly wasting away, they’d changed his treatment, and his hair grew back and he gained some weight, but that treatment was having no effect on his cancer.
So now he was on yet another treatment, a slightly different chemo cocktail where he apparently got to keep his hair, but the wasting-away part was back with a vengeance. My hope was that the new treatment was as hard on his disease as it was on him.
***
Theo: Don’t count the days, make the days count.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to find a text from Theo. Turning around, I also saw him standing there.
“You’re texting me from the hallway?”
One shoulder lifted. “Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you don’t get your inspirational quote for the day.”
I glanced at the time. “We could still make the ten o’clock movie.”
“Then get your ass moving. I know how long it takes you to get ready.”
Tossing a pillow from the couch at him, I frowned. “I am ready.”
The multiplex wasn’t crowded, and we managed to get our tickets in plenty of time. After arguing about where to sit—I wanted to be close to the screen, he liked to sit in Siberia—we settled on a couple of empty seats near the middle and sat down just as the previews came on.
The movie was entertaining with lots of action and plenty of one-liners. Beside me, Theo watched raptly. That boy loved his superheroes almost as much as I loved Channing Tatum.
On our way out, Theo turned his head, looking around the lobby. “I think someone just called your name.”
At that moment, I heard it too. Pivoting in the direction of the voice, I saw a familiar figure coming toward me. It took a moment to place her, but then I saw who trailed behind her and it clicked. It was Heather, and she was here with Jonah.
“Hi, Candy.” She came up to me with a big smile on her face as if we were great friends. “Funny running into you here. What movie did you see?”
Jonah came up beside her with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. His gaze shifted between Theo and me.
“We saw the Avengers,” Theo said happily, so close that his shoulder touched mine. He was obviously eager for an introduction.
“We did too,” Heather said, glancing up at Jonah. “Too bad we didn’t know you guys were in there.”
“This is Theo,” I said, watching as Theo offered his hand to Heather, who grinned and took it. She introduced herself and then Jonah. When Theo offered the same greeting to Jonah, he withdrew his hand from his pocket and shook Theo’s politely.
I braced myself for them to say or do something to embarrass Theo. By his appearance, it was obvious he was sick. His lips were scabbed over and he was practically a walking skeleton, but they acted perfectly normal and friendly. Heather’s gaze lingered a little longer than usual on him, but not enough to be categorized as staring.
Heather gave me a curious look. “So you’re not at the dance either?”
“What dance?” Theo asked.
I blew out a breath. “There’s a school dance tonight, but it’s no big deal. I wasn’t planning on going.” Looking at Jonah, I wondered again why he hadn’t been in school on Wednesday, but instead I asked, “What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a big homecoming football game to play in today?”
“I did,” Jonah said, speaking for the first time. “It ended in time to make the movie.”
“But I mean . . .” I faltered for a moment. “You’re a football player, and it’s homecoming weekend. Shouldn’t you be out partying like it’s your job or something?”
He laughed. “Stereotype much?”
“Did you win?” Theo asked.
“Nope,” Jonah replied matter-of-factly.
Heather teasingly elbowed him, and I couldn’t help a little laugh from escaping. Jonah wasn’t the typical high school athlete. He wasn’t the typical anything at all.
I didn’t want to get caught staring, but Jonah looked achingly handsome tonight with his dark hair falling slightly over his forehead and eyes that were warmer than usual. His broad shoulders filled out his black leather coat, tapering down to a narrow waist and long legs. I found myself wondering how his strong, muscled body might feel pressed against mine, but I was jolted from that fantasy by Theo agreeing to go to the diner with them.
“What? No, we can’t.”
“Why not?” Theo asked me, looking oddly smug.
“Because . . .” I hesitated, not wanting to tell Theo he needed to rest in front of Jonah and Heather.
Theo grinned at me. “It’s all good.”
My eyes narrowed, and he winked. Crap. He must have noticed me ogling Jonah. Had everyone?
Next thing I knew we were planning to meet them there, and Theo was chomping at the bit to ask me about them.
We walked out to our cars together, and I noticed Jonah looking toward the hotel next door. The movie theater shared a parking lot with the large brick-and-glass structure.
I wondered what he was looking at as I clicked the remote unlock for the car. The flashing headlights caused a couple standing by the hotel entrance to turn briefly in our direction. That’s when I realized what Jonah was so intent on. I recognized the man’s face as I recalled Parker’s father from their family portrait, with his doughy complexion and thick glasses. But the skinny brunette on his arm wasn’t Parker’s mother from the picture.
When I looked back at Jonah, his eyes met mine, and something in his expression told me he saw what I did and had drawn the same conclusion. Glancing away, I clenched my teeth. Men and cheating. It had to be in their DNA or something.
“She isn’t his girlfriend, I take it,” Theo said once we were in the car and on our way.
I pushed Parker’s father’s image from my mind, wondering if she knew or if her mother knew. In that moment, I felt for both of them, even mean
-spirited Parker.
A light drizzle had begun to fall and I was resigned to the fact I’d have to wash the car before my father got home. Who was I kidding? I’d probably wash and vacuum it either way.
“Earth to Candy,” Theo said.
“What?” I asked, trying to rein in my thoughts.
“Is Heather his girlfriend?”
“No. At least I don’t think so. They used to go out, though.”
“You like him,” Theo stated rather than asking. “You wouldn’t be this distracted and grumpy otherwise.”
I frowned. “He’s hot. Of course I like the way he looks, but that doesn’t mean I like him. And I’m not grumpy.”
“Just because Brandon was an asshole, that doesn’t mean—”
“Stop, Theo.” I shot him a warning look. “I don’t want to talk about you-know-who, and I don’t want you to push me on Jonah. I’m not scarred for life or anything. But I’m scarred for now, and I’m not interested in getting involved with anyone.”
Theo eyed me skeptically as I pulled into the parking lot of the diner and parked beside Jonah’s Jeep. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Do you want to tell them we changed our minds?”
“No.” I unbuckled my seat belt, resigned. “We don’t have to leave, just don’t embarrass me. Don’t think you know what’s best for me, and don’t start bragging about all the cool clothes your mom buys you at Bob’s Discount.”
Theo chuckled and gave me a mock salute. “Speaking of scars, how did he get that nasty one near his eye?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked him.” And the truth was, I’d nearly forgotten it was there. The scar was jarring when I first saw it, but now I only saw him.
We dashed through what was turning into a driving rain, landing inside the doorway of Dempsey’s, behind Jonah and Heather who were already shaking water off their coats.
“Back there?” Jonah asked us, pointing to an empty booth in the corner by the window. It was after midnight, and the diner was surprisingly busy with several couples filling the tables, and some iffy-looking loners nursing cups of coffee.