by Ali Novak
“Go away,” I told him and rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. It was too early to deal with his crap. “Who said I wanted to go with you anyway?”
“Fine,” I heard him say, “but the guys already left, so if you miss your anatomy test, don’t blame me.”
“I know you think you’re so funny, Cole—” I started to say, opening my eyes again to glance at the clock. I’d set my alarm for six, leaving me plenty of time to iron my clothes and shower, but my heart jumped when I saw the neon green digits—7:26. “No, no, no!” I cried, throwing the covers off me.
“I told you,” Cole said, backing away as I started to rush around my room.
“This can’t be happening.” There was no way I would be able to get ready in time. My hair alone took half an hour to straighten.
“Chill, Jackie. Just throw on some sweats and let’s roll.”
“Throw on some sweats?” I hissed, swinging around to glare at him. “Have you ever seen me wear sweats?”
“Not really. You normally look like some kind of preppie going to a tea party.”
“That’s because I don’t own any! I’m never going to have enough time to iron an outfit.”
“Okay, okay,” said Cole, holding up his hands to calm me down. “Wait here. I have an idea.” He hurried back a few minutes later carrying a pair of jeans and a jersey. “Try this. It’s a pair of my mom’s old jeans. They might be a bit too big, but they should work.”
“I can’t wear this to school,” I said a minute later as I looked in the mirror. “I look like a slob.” The jersey swamped me, so large that it almost reached my knees. I tried tucking the fabric up, but it slipped down a second later. The jeans were even worse.
“Jackie, it’s only one day. Nobody’s going to care.”
“Well, what about my hair?” I said, trying to arrange my usual ribbon. My fingers were shaking because I was so frustrated and my bangs wouldn’t lie right. “It’s a mess.”
“Stop,” Cole said, grabbing my hands. “I like the curls. It’s natural.”
His words came out so softly and easily. Not forced, like he was telling me something just to make me feel better. I opened my mouth, even though I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to say, but a horn honked outside, cutting me off.
“We need to go.” Grabbing my satchel, Cole pulled me from my room and out of the house. Then we were inside the shiny, black Porsche, speeding toward school.
“Jackie, you remember my friend Nick,” Cole said, twisting in the front so he could see me.
“Hey.” Nick nodded his head in greeting.
“Yeah, hi,” I muttered, as I stared out the window.
For the next few minutes, Cole tried to start a conversation with me, but I responded with one-word answers. I was too flustered. Finally he gave up and turned to Nick.
“So, you coming to the warehouse today?”
Curious, I turned to watch Cole.
“I don’t know,” Nick said, glancing at me as if this was something I shouldn’t be hearing. “Do we have supplies?”
“Plenty,” Cole responded. “Kate scored huge last night.”
“I suppose,” Nick said, still not sounding entirely convinced. “We’re not taking my car, though.”
“Might be able to snag the truck keys.” Cole pulled out his phone. “I’ll text Isaac.”
We were coming up on Valley View High now. I could see the building at the top of the hill in the distance. Cole’s fingers were punching away, but Nick still looked uncomfortable.
“Don’t invite anyone else, okay?” Nick said, his eyes flickering toward me again. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”
Hearing this, I focused my attention back out the window. I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it sounded like trouble. I kept my mouth shut until the car was parked.
“Thanks a bunch, Nick,” I said, throwing open my door. By now, the parking lot was mostly empty, and only the kids who didn’t care if they were late lingered outside. “See you guys later.”
I tore across the pavement without waiting for them, and thankfully, I managed to make it to class as the final bell rang. Slamming my bag down on the table, I turned to Alex. He was staring down at his textbook, pretending to cram in some last-minute studying, but his eyes weren’t moving over the page.
“What the heck was up with this morning?” I demanded.
“What do you mean?” he said, not bothering to look up.
“You guys left without me,” I said as I pulled a handful of pencils from my bag. “I had to get a ride from Cole’s friend Nick.”
Alex bit his lip. “Cole said you wanted to go with him.”
“Are you for real? When did he say that?”
“At breakfast,” he told me.
“Unbelievable,” I said, gritting my teeth. Cole was in serious trouble.
“Sorry?”
“Alex, my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning. Cole must have messed with it, because he didn’t wake me up until after you guys were already gone.”
“Really?” Alex asked, finally looking up at me. When he saw how irritated I was, relief washed over his face. “Thank God. I thought you gave in to him.”
“I didn’t. And by the way, I’m totally mad at you,” I said, half joking. “I didn’t have any time to get ready this morning. Do you see what I’m wearing?”
Alex looked down, and his face froze when he spotted the jersey. “Where did you get that?”
“Cole loaned it to me. I didn’t have anything else to wear.”
“He loaned it to you?” Alex asked, as if that was the most insane thing he’d ever heard.
“Yeah. What’s the big deal?” I asked. “It’s just an old jersey.”
“But that’s Cole’s football jersey. I haven’t seen it since…” Alex trailed off, too shocked to finish his sentence.
Suddenly a conversation I had with Nathan came back to me. He used to be the best receiver in the state until he got tackled wrong and broke his leg…
“Since the game he got hurt,” I finished for him.
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Nathan mentioned it to me when I first got here.”
“Jackie,” Alex said slowly, still shaking his head in disbelief. “The thing you don’t understand is that football was Cole’s life. After he lost his scholarship, he stopped talking about the game completely. It was like he’d never played at all.”
“And?”
“And for him to just give you his jersey…” Alex said. “I don’t even know what that means.”
Neither did I.
Mr. Piper appeared at the front of the room, clapping his hands to get out attention. “All right, everyone, listen up!” he said. “Put everything away. Books and notes under the table. It’s time to take this test.”
***
It was the easiest test I had ever taken. Even though I was distracted by what Alex told me, I was able to get through all the questions in thirty minutes. If that was any indication of what my examinations would be like, these last few months were going to be a breeze. But for some reason, the thought didn’t lighten my mood.
As my morning went on, I became more and more self-conscious about wearing Cole’s jersey. I almost asked Heather if I could borrow something. I had seen the backup outfits she kept in her locker in case someone showed up wearing the same clothes as her. But if I borrowed something, I’d have to tell the girls about what happened this morning and they would freak out.
Intent on asking Cole exactly why he let me wear the jersey, I arrived at math five minutes early so I could ambush him before class started. As I stood outside the door waiting for him, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
“God,” I gasped, spinning around. “You scared me to death.”
“Sorry.�
�� It was Mary, Alex’s ex-girlfriend, and the way her eyes narrowed made it seem as if she wasn’t sorry at all. “You’re Jackie, right?”
“Um, yes…” I said back.
“My name is Mary Black.”
“Nice to meet you, Mary,” I responded slowly and calmly. “Can I help you with something?”
“I really like your outfit,” she said, sarcasm tainting her voice. “Very…cas-chic. Is it part of your mother’s new collection?”
“I—what?”
“Oh wait,” said Mary, a sick grin appearing on her face. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” She took a step toward me, her smile transforming into a glare. “Listen to me, new girl. Stay away from Alex. He’s mine.”
I was so shocked that I just stared, openmouthed.
“You got it?” she snapped angrily when I didn’t respond. I nodded my head. “Good.” She smirked. “It was so nice to meet you, Jackie.”
As she walked away, I could only think of one thing. Not Mary’s threat or Alex. Not even how angry I was with Cole, because it didn’t matter. All I could think of were those four, horrible words: She’s dead, isn’t she?
Chapter 9
“Whoa, is the world ending?” I heard a familiar voice behind me. “New York skipping class?”
I was still outside the math room, sitting against a row of lockers, but now the hall was empty and class was in progress. Never in my life had I skipped a class, but Mary’s words were crippling. It had taken nearly five minutes of heavy breathing just to contain my tears.
Looking up, I saw Cole coming down the hall toward me. At first I thought he was arriving at class late, but then I noticed that his letter jacket was slung over his shoulder and his backpack was nowhere in sight.
“I’m not skipping,” I told him quietly. “Just a little bit late.”
Cole stared at me for a second before squatting down next to me. “What’s wrong, Jackie?” he asked.
“Besides the fact that I’m pissed at you for messing with my alarm clock?” I said, brushing his hand off my shoulder. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Good for you,” I said, burying my face in my hands, “but that still doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to you about it.” Why did he always show up when I was on the verge of tears?
“If you don’t want to tell me,” I heard Cole say, “that’s fine. But at least let me make you feel better.”
“Why?” I mumbled. I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying anymore. I was just trying to get through the conversation so he would leave me alone.
“It seems to be my job lately. I should add it to the description next to devastatingly handsome. Cole Walter—professional cheerer-upper and sexiest man of the year.”
“I’m not in the mood, Cole,” I said, sighing.
“Okay, I’ll be serious,” he said, swinging the truck keys in his hand. “Just come with me, and I promise that I can help you forget.”
Startled by his words, I glanced up. Unlike the last time Cole found me an emotional wreck, this time I knew he was talking about my family. His face was not unkind, and the pity that I was afraid to see wasn’t there. It was such a relief that I barely understood the words that came out of my mouth next.
“You mean cut class?” I asked. “With you?”
He nodded. “Why not? You’re already twenty minutes late.”
I looked at my watch and saw he was right. “I don’t know…” I said, not really knowing what to do.
“Come on, Jackie. I promise it will be fun.” He gave me a puppy-dog look. Damn those gorgeous eyes.
In my right mind I would never cut class, but after what had just happened with Mary, the thought of being whisked away by Cole was a nice distraction. “Fine,” I said, climbing to my feet. “Lead the way.”
As soon as I spotted the truck and the people sitting in the back, I remembered the conversation I’d heard between Cole and Nick this morning. Sure enough, Cole’s friend was leaning against the tailgate, and I was starting to get the impression that the frown on his face was a permanent feature. Besides Nick, I couldn’t remember the names of anyone else, but they were all friends that sat with Cole at lunch.
“Cole, it’s your turn to drive,” said one of the girls as we approached. She had dirty blond hair with a strip dyed hot pink, and suddenly I remembered that she had come over to the Walters’ house this past week to swim with Cole.
“I never would have guessed, Kate,” he said, opening the tailgate so I could climb up. “Considering we’re taking my car and all.” Then he held out his hand and offered me a boost up.
“If you’re driving,” I said quietly, so the others wouldn’t hear, “I’d like to ride up front.”
“Of course you would.” The satisfied smirk on his face almost made me change my mind, but I didn’t want to sit with all the strangers. Walking around the side of the truck, I opened the passenger door and climbed in. The truck felt strangely empty without the rest of the Walters in it, but Cole didn’t seem to notice as he got in next to me.
I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t what Kate offered me after she slid open the back window from the bed of the truck.
“Want one?” she asked me, holding out a beer.
“No,” I replied instinctively. I didn’t even stop to consider it.
“Yes, she does.” Cole grabbed it from Kate and dropped it in my lap. “A cold beer always fixes a bad day.”
“What are you doing?” I hissed at him as he started the truck.
“Making you feel better.” He reached for the radio and cranked up the music.
The thought of unbuckling my seat belt and jumping out crossed my mind, because I didn’t want to get in any trouble. But before I could make my decision, Cole put the truck in reverse and we were moving. At first, as we ripped out of the parking lot, I couldn’t breathe. What had I gotten myself into? I let a girl I didn’t even know affect me with one sentence. I’d spun out of control and now I was in an even worse situation.
But then I turned to Cole. He had the window rolled down, his arm hanging out over the side of the door, and as the song we were listening to hit the chorus, he started to shout the lyrics at the top of his lungs. I heard a few hollers join in from the back, and somehow their mood was contagious. Cole smiled, the warm sun hitting his face just right, and then I was smiling too.
“You gonna drink that?” Cole asked, pointing at the beer in my lap.
Glancing down, I stared at the can. It was melting in the warm air, trickles of cool water raced down the aluminum. Skipping school was bad enough; I didn’t need to add underage drinking to my list of crimes. But then again, I was already here…
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I said and popped open my first ever can of beer.
***
Sal’s diner was near the outskirts of town. Nick insisted on eating lunch there, because he didn’t want to get caught skipping school. The service was slow even though we were the only customers, and by the time we finished our greasy burgers, my English class was starting. Next we stopped at Kate’s house so she could grab more beer that she had hidden under her front porch. Our final destination was an abandoned warehouse with boarded-up windows, an hour outside of town, and when we finally arrived school was letting out. I didn’t know what I was expecting—maybe someone’s lake house or hunting cabin, but not somewhere so creepy. Cole assured me plenty of people hung out here when they skipped school, and that a few great parties had even been thrown here.
I didn’t discount that. On the inside, the space looked as if many generations of high school students had used it. The first thing I noticed was the layer of graffiti—hearts with initials covered every inch of the walls. There were crates and camping chairs to sit on, an assortment of plastic coolers, and even an old ping-pong table. In the corner
of the room was a pile of sleeping bags and blankets, along with a box that had the words “Survival Kit” written across it in Sharpie. Inside was a collection of supplies: batteries, candles, plastic cups, a bottle opener, Band-Aids, and a flashlight.
Someone had taken the time to decorate the place, probably for one of the parties. Streamers hung from the ceiling and Christmas lights lined the walls, but they didn’t work because the building didn’t have electricity.
I had no idea how long we’d been at the warehouse, but almost all of the sun had disappeared, and a battery-powered lantern in the middle of the floor was our only source of light. The dull illumination cast shadows on our faces, making everyone look sharp and spooky. I’d lost track of how many beers were running through my system, but they were enough to make my head buzz.
“I don’t think so, guys,” I said slowly, trying to clear my mind and concentrate. It was hard to think when my head felt so heavy.
“Oh, come on,” Nick said with so much enthusiasm that he knocked over the row of empty bottles next to him. “You have to play!” He was quite a different person when he was drunk. More friendly.
The group was trying to get me to play spin the bottle, and I felt uncomfortable.
Cole had introduced me to everyone when we arrived—two girls and four guys—but they still felt like strangers. There was Kate, the girl with the pink streak in her hair, and her friend Molly. Then, not including Nick, two of Cole’s friends from the football team had come. I couldn’t remember their names, maybe Ryan and Jim, but they also could have been Bryan and Tim. Then there was Molly’s little brother Joe who had a lip ring and insisted on being called Jet.
Besides the fact that everyone here was older than me, I didn’t want to play spin the bottle for one huge reason. I had never been kissed. Did I really want my first one to be some sloppy, tipsy train-wreck with a boy I didn’t know?
“I probably shouldn’t,” I said, shaking my head.
“Sounds like you’re thinking too much,” Kate said, grabbing me another can. It was her personal mission to make sure that there was a drink in everyone’s hands at all times. When I didn’t take it from her, she stuffed it into the cup holder on my chair.