by Lydia Cole
“Morning, beautiful.” Hayden’s voice woke me from a light sleep, his lips kissing the spot under my ear.
I smiled and turned my head to look at him. “Morning,” I said with a sigh.
It was the fifth morning in a row he’d woken me up just like that, laying in my bed next to me with that sexy smile across his face. He had yet to actually sleep with me since I’d been home, too afraid that he’d do something in his sleep to hurt me. The first night, he ended up falling asleep in the chair next to my bed. After that, he started sleeping in the guest room across from mine. I was getting impatient with his anxiety, but he was so sweet about it, I couldn’t stay mad at him.
“How are you feeling? Do you need some medicine?”
“No,” I shook my head. “Not yet. I need to eat first.”
His hand reached up and brushed hair out of my face, then he leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You’re turning me into a sap, doll. I was just laying here thinking about how incredibly gorgeous you are and how lucky I am to be the one in your bed, waking you up with a kiss.”
I smiled and pulled his face down to kiss him. “You are a sap, Hayden.”
“What do you want for breakfast?” He asked, laying light kisses on my cheek.
I moaned. “You.”
He froze, his lips next to my left eye. “Babe,” he said softly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
My insides were tingling. “I can handle a little pain for you.”
“Lucy.” He sighed and pulled back to look at me. “I can’t. And you don’t even understand how hard that is for me.”
“I know,” I whined. “I know how hard it is for you because I’m going through the lack of sex as well!”
He chuckled, then sighed. After a minute, he leaned down and kissed me gently. “You have to promise to be very, very still.”
My heart started pumping in anticipation. I nodded quickly.
“Promise,” Hayden demanded.
“I promise, I promise.”
He smiled at my eager tone, then went back to kissing me. I didn’t know what he had planned and I didn’t care, so long as I got a release of all the tension that had been building for the past two weeks. He hadn’t laid a hand on me since the wreck and I was going to absolutely explode if something didn’t happen soon. It wasn’t like I was paralyzed. If I could walk, I could fuck, right?
Hayden was being extra slow, even for him. Which was really, really slow. His hand snaked under the tank top and brushed across my breast, and I shivered. His lips moved across my jaw line and down my neck, on the left side, of course. When he lifted himself over me and started moving down, I moaned loudly.
“Don’t wake up your nurse, Angel,” Hayden said quietly, his voice dripping with desire. “She might not approve.”
I didn’t have the capacity to tell him how much I didn’t care what the nurse approved of. Hayden pulled my shorts down slowly, kissing my legs as he went.
He brought his eyes to mine, deadly serious. “Don’t move.”
All I could do was nod. He was still hesitant, kissing my inner thighs and getting closer every second. When his tongue finally found its way in, I gasped. Hayden groaned at my reaction and took that as encouragement. “God, you taste so good.� He licked and sucked and kissed until I was sure I was going to die. He was still going slow, holding my body down with a strong hand to stop me from bucking against him.
“Hayden,” I gasped, urging him to finish the job.
He made a hungry noise, then plunged a finger into me. I convulsed with the orgasm that shot through me, his name falling off my lips. Hayden looked up with a wide smile when I started to calm down, crawling up enough to lay his head on my stomach, holding me like a pillow.
“Jesus,” I sighed, my hand going to his hair automatically.
He chuckled and kissed my bare abdomen. “Feel better?”
“God, yes.”
He sat up on his knees, still wearing a big, white smile. “Now, what do you want for breakfast?”
My eyebrows scrunched down. “Wait, what about you?”
His smile widened. He plopped down beside me on the bed, running a finger along my cheek. “Don’t worry about me, babe. When you’re all healed up, I’ll let you do anything and everything you want.”
“But, Hayden.” I frowned. “That’s so unfair.”
“No, it’s not.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “You want to take a shower before we eat? I’m supposed to be meeting with the guys at ten. We have some kind of interview.”
My frown deepened, but I let it go. For now. “Yeah. You going to help me or you want me to call Mary in here?”
He bit his lip thoughtfully. “You better call Mary. I may not be able to maintain my chivalrous attitude if I get you in the shower.”
I didn’t like the situation one bit, but I had a feeling Hayden wasn’t going to budge. He left the room just as Mary was walking in. She was probably in her forties and had a head of graying blonde hair, pulled back into a tight bun. She was a no-nonsense type of woman. She got me up, helped me undress, and bathed me with the efficiency of a seasoned nurse. When I tried to make small talk with her, she answered appropriately and moved on. She wasn’t a talker. The other nurse who rotated shifts with her, Deana, was much more friendly. But, it wasn’t about being friendly. Mary was still a good nurse. After she hurt me, she fed me pain medicine.
Hayden was in the kitchen when I hobbled downstairs. He gave me a sweet smile, then pulled out IHOP boxes.
“Oh my God, you’re my hero.” I slumped into a chair and took a huge bite of chocolate chip pancake. “I can’t remember the last time I had pancakes.”
Hayden turned toward me with a small smile. “Glad I could help with your pancake deficiency.”
“Where’s this interview?” I asked after I scarfed down my breakfast.
He shrugged. “I get in the car, I show up, I smile, I answer questions, I come back to you. That’s about all I know.”
I chuckled, then got up and straightened the shirt Mary had managed to get me into. “How about I come with you? I’m getting bored, cooped up in here all day.”
“Maya was supposed to be coming to stay with you.” He looked around thoughtfully. “But, I guess you could come. I don’t see any reason why not. Everyone’s been asking about you. You’ve done such a good job of staying inside, there hasn’t even been any pictures of you floating around.”
Maya came into the kitchen wearing a scowl, still peeling off layers. “It’s freezing outside, Lucy. You’re still sick. I’m really going to have to protest this idea.”
“I’m not sick. I’m just a little broken.” I sighed when her narrowed eyes didn’t change. “Maya,” I whined. “I’m getting cabin fever!”
Johnny laughed deeply, joining us in the kitchen. “Did you just call my mansion a cabin?”
“I wish I had a cabin like this,” Hayden said with a smile.
I growled in irritation. “Fine. Everyone just gang up on me. Ugh!”
Johnny caught me before I could storm upstairs and pulled me into his chest. “What’s wrong, Lu-Lu?”
“I need to get out. I need to go somewhere.”
“Okay,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t see why not. But, you’re not driving.”
“How could I? My license mysteriously disappeared.”
Johnny chuckled and Hayden avoided making eye contact. I knew he had it and it was only a matter of time before I stole it back.
Maya made a noise to argue, then sighed. “Fine. But, I’m coming, too.”
“Great. It’s a party.” I grabbed Hayden and dragged him toward the door. “Let’s go!”
I was a little surprised to see people still camped out along the fence in front of the house. They went wild as soon as I walked out the door. I gave them a small wave and smiled, then wrapped my arm around Hayden and let him help me into the black SUV that was sitting in the driveway.
I glanced around as I waited
for him to get in. “Whose car is this?”
“I’m renting it. I hated having to wait for someone to come get me. It was just easier.”
Maya climbed into the seat behind me. “I don’t know which one of you gets on my nerves more.”
I turned around as much as I could and gave her a wide smile. “You know you love me.”
“Of course I love you. And I’m going to kick your ass if you wind up getting sick. I swear, I will.”
“Can I watch?” Hayden asked with a wide smile as he pulled out of the driveway.
“And you,” Maya turned her angry brown eyes to him. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be over protective and disgustingly loving. Why didn’t you try to stop her?”
He shrugged. “Maybe I’m being selfish.”
“Huh.” Maya sighed and sat back. “Where are we going, anyway?”
“Interview,” Hayden said with a shrug.
She rolled her eyes and pulled out her cell phone. By the time we picked up the rest of the guys from the hotel, the whole thing was set up. She’d figured out the interview was with a reporter from a rock magazine. She’d arranged for me to be there, without any questions directed at me or any mention in the article that I was there. She even had the security at the hotel bumped up and the room cleared of anyone but those absolutely necessary. I knew I kept Maya around for a reason.
I had a big coat on and a scarf wrapped around the bottom half of my face. A big, knit beanie covered my wavy hair. And still, with only my eyes visible, someone recognized me. Hayden pulled me into his arms and ushered me inside the hotel amid flashing lights. I waved at the cameras, again, just to let everyone know I was all right. The hotel manager was waiting on shaky knees to take us up to the room were we’d be meeting with the reporter.
I frowned when I realized that I had stolen their thunder. I turned around to look at Hayden as he helped me out of my coat. “I shouldn’t have come.”
His eyebrows came down in confusion, then worry. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“No, I’m fine. It’s just…” I glanced around as the other guys made themselves comfortable. “This was supposed to be about you. Not me. But, just by being here, I’ve made it about me.”
“Lucy, trust me when I say none of us is concerned about you being the center of attention. We’re all just happy you’re all right.” He sighed when I didn’t relax.
Ben walked up and touched the big sling on my right arm. “How long is this going to be part of your wardrobe?”
I gave him a half shrug. “Up to eight weeks. Depends on how it looks at my next appointment.” I touched his arm as he nodded. “You’re not mad I’m here, are you, Benny?”
“What? No way, Lucy. Believe it or not, you’re kind of fun to be around.”
I laughed at his smile. “I just don’t want to be Yoko Ono or something.”
Maya was pacing in a corner, on the phone with someone, looking irritated. “What do you mean? That’s not acceptable!” With a huff, she slid her phone shut and plopped onto the couch next to Nate.
I raised an eyebrow at her, but she just shook her head. So, I moved on to more important topics. “Okay, this is your first interview. Let me give you some tips.” I sat everyone down and stood in front of them. “First rule, only answer the question posed. Don’t offer more information than they ask for. Trust me, that can get you in trouble real fast. Second, no matter how much they make you want to jump up and strangle them, keep a smile on your face.
“If you look irritated, they’ll write that. If you look happy, even if you basically tell them to fuck off, they’ll be nicer. And lastly, never ever talk about someone else. If they say something about me, just tell them that I’m recovering nicely and when I’m ready to talk about it, I will. If they ask about Tiffany, tell them you don’t know anything about her album, but she seems like a very nice girl.
“I’ve put my foot in my mouth more than once with that one. You’d be surprised what they can get you to say when you’re nervous. That’s another one. Just sit back and relax. Not too much, though. Reporters are not your friends. Don’t ever forget that.”
Hayden was shaking his head, but the other guys were nodding. I took interviews very seriously. I’d been in the spotlight too long not to. When the door opened, Maya and I moved toward the corner where two big, comfy chairs were waiting for us. The guys settled on the couch and waited.
When the reporter rounded the corner and smiled, I frowned. Mark Gernit. My least favorite reporter in history. Last year, he’d written a story about Connor and me, pinning me as the clingy, obsessive girlfriend who ruined the whole thing. I hated him with a passion. It occurred to me that the phone call Maya had gotten earlier must have been to share that little piece of information. She looked at me with apologetic eyes, but I waved it off and sat back, anxious to see how he was going to handle my presence.
“Good morning, gentlemen. Thanks for meeting with me.” Mark sat down in the chair and looked around the room. “And ladies,” he said with a small smile, laying eyes on Maya and me.
I gave him a smile and a finger wave.
“So, which one of you is she attached to?” he asked the guys, motioning toward me.
My eyes widened in shock. Ben and Nate held Hayden back.
“This interview is over,” Maya announced, getting up and waving her arms to get us to follow.
Mark laughed quietly. “My mistake. I didn’t mean to offend. Please, sit.”
I hadn’t moved from my chair. I was still staring at him with deadly eyes. “I assume you understand the rules we’ve laid out about my presence.”
He gave me a half smile. “I was told to pretend you weren’t here.”
“Well, it seems you have a problem following orders. Now, if you wish to conduct a real interview, please do. But my last criteria is that your article be sent to me before it is published.” I narrowed my eyes, daring him to argue.
“Sure. Whatever.” Mark sat back and looked at the guys again. “So, since I’m not allowed to talk about the woman in the back of the room, let’s get on with it.”
I sat there, on edge, during the whole interview. I listened for anything that might sound bad, jumping in once to stop Mark from continuing with a question and cutting off Grant once when he started to talk too much. In all, it went fairly well. I reminded Mark of our agreement and told him that I’d have a chat with his editor today to make sure that promise was kept.
Hayden was fuming when we all piled back into his SUV. “What a bastard. We should have just left.”
I shook my head. “He’s a good writer and well respected, despite the fact that he is a fuckin’ asshole. You guys need someone like him to launch you. It was worth it.”
“It was not.”
I sighed and gave in. I didn’t feel like arguing and there was no point, anyway. “I’m tired,” I said quietly.
“All right, babe. I’ll take you home.”
We dropped the guys back off at their hotel and headed back for the mansion. Johnny was at work and Deana had taken over for Mary while we were out. She fussed over me a little, checking my sling and making sure I didn’t contract any crazy disease while I was outside. After she was satisfied, Hayden helped me upstairs and took off the excess clothing so I could sleep. The pain medicine always knocked me out.
“Lay with me,” I pleaded with Hayden as he sat on the side of the bed, watching me.
He moved next to me and gently situated me in his arms, laying a kiss on the top of my head. “Go to sleep, Angel. I’m right here.”
Another side effect of the medicine, I had discovered, was nightmares. I was in the middle of the worst dream in history when Hayden woke me up.
“Lucy.” He held my face, then sighed when my eyes popped open. “Jesus. Are you all right?”
I shook my head, blinking back tears. “I’m never taking that crap again.”
“What was it?” He asked, pulling me into his arms.
“T
he wreck. But you were with me. And you were dead.” I sobbed into his T-shirt. I couldn’t remember the last time I actually cried. I blamed that on the medicine, too.
“I’m right here, baby. It’s all right.” He pet and kissed my head until I calmed down. “Maybe you have PTSD or something.”
I sniffled and snuggled into his chest. “Maybe.”
It didn’t matter to me because just then, laying in the safety of Hayden’s arms, nothing could go wrong. I was kidding myself if I thought I could ever live a day without Hayden Harris. I just hoped he’d come to the same conclusion. Soon.
Chapter Fifteen
I started seeing a therapist. It didn’t last long. After the second session, I decided it wasn’t helping and it wasn’t worth the trouble. I’d pretty much come around on my own, anyway.
I was back in the studio the second week home, helping with the wrap up of my album. We released it at the end of February and it immediately jumped up the charts. Everyone was very concerned and helpful. I started going to rehab three times a week to help my shoulder heal. I still got short of breath sometimes, and it hurt like hell when I bent the wrong way, but other then that, I was all better.
And if I ever doubted Hayden, that all flew out the window. He was amazing. For Valentine’s Day, he showered me with gifts. Jewelry, flowers, cards. There was something waiting for me everywhere. Sometimes I just couldn’t comprehend his devotion. After the wreck, we were inseparable.
He practically moved into the mansion. When he wasn’t doing something with the band, he was with me. He came with me to every rehab appointment, watching me with a sad look on his face as I dealt with the pain. It was like it killed him to have me out of his sight. I didn’t mind. I was getting to the point where I missed him for the short periods of time when he wasn’t around.
Eventually, the sling came off and everyone forgot about my near death experience. I was glad for that. I hated to be babied. Before I knew it, we were preparing for our big tour. I was so excited about it. I wanted nothing more than to spend every minute of every day with my guys. All of them. Jack and Hayden had come to some sort of agreement and all amount of awkwardness was gone. I was glad for that.