by Red Phoenix
Captain took over. “We need nonessentials to leave so that we can formulate our plan and execute it quickly and efficiently.”
Baron, Marquis, Anderson, and Boa shook hands with everyone, wishing them good luck and safe travels. Faelan was deeply touched as he shook each of their hands, understanding as they did that this might be the last time they ever saw each other.
Apology
Spending the night talking to Marquis after the meeting, Faelan came to the conclusion there was something he had to do before leaving to face the uncertainty in Russia.
He invited Kylie to lunch, wanting to discuss his idea with her. “I know this may come off odd or a bit forward considering we’ve really only just met, but I thought I’d run it by you anyway.”
“Go ahead, you can ask me anything. I’ve actually known you most of my life.”
Faelan laughed a bit uncomfortably, embarrassed that he didn’t remember her even after checking his yearbook to verify she was a student at his school. “Well, had I been paying attention back then I would have known you too, I guess.”
“So what is it you’re wanting to talk about?”
“I never visited Trevor’s grave. I’ve been terrified of offending Trevor’s parents, but maybe closer to the truth, I’m terrified of facing the boy I killed. Spending my whole life running away, I’ve discovered there are no more places to run.”
“Todd, you’ve spent your entire adult life feeling guilty for breathing.”
“No, I’m actually past that now,” he insisted.
She looked at him knowingly. “I suspect even now you’re thinking of ways to make up for the life you took that day.”
He snorted. “Possibly.”
“Well, I told you before that our town would welcome you back. They want to make amends for abandoning you and your family like they did. It was a tragic mistake, we all knew that.”
Faelan shook his head. “I’ll never be able to pay him or his parents back. You can’t know how that weighs on me.”
Kylie rested her hand gently on his. “You’re right. You can’t give Trevor his life back, but living in guilt doesn’t help him either.”
“What about everyone who suffered because of his death, don’t you think I owe them something?”
“The only thing you owe them is a life well lived.”
Faelan grunted in dissatisfaction. “That’s not enough. I have to live the life of two men.”
Kylie scooted her chair closer, putting both hands on either side of his face and holding him there as she gazed into his eyes. “Nothing you do will bring him back, but you can respect his memory by living a full and happy life. That’s it.”
“He was just a kid.”
“As were you.”
“What about his parents?”
“What about them?”
“Do you think they would be upset when they find out the person who murdered their son had the audacity to visit his grave?”
“I actually think it would give them solace to know that you cared enough to show their son respect, but it doesn’t really matter. The Fishers left town shortly after you guys moved away.”
“They did?” he asked in shock.
“Yeah, makes what they did to you and your family even more tragic. They spent all that energy running you out, and they didn’t even stay.”
Faelan sat back in his chair. “I can understand that. Too many memories…”
Kylie kissed him tenderly on the cheek. “I say, give Trevor the honor he deserves so that you can finally let him go.”
Faelan felt a stab at his heart, the idea still seeming wrong.
“You can do this.”
“If you truly feel that way, I’d like to know if you will join me—tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she said with a laugh.
He explained with a white lie, not wanting her to know the details of his upcoming trip to Russia. “I have a lengthy business flight that takes me through the state, and I figured why not get it over with. Why wait any longer?”
Kylie giggled. “Well, I’d call that spontaneous.”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “I’m famous for my spontaneity—just ask my friends. Of course, they’d call it something else, but who am I to quibble over words?”
She laughed and announced, “I’m in.”
He cocked his head, surprised she was so willing. “Really?”
“Yep, I’d enjoying visiting our old stomping grounds together. And no one is going to believe that Todd Wallace is back.”
“Only for a day.”
“A day it is then.”
“You’re serious about doing this?”
“I am if you are.”
“Well then, I guess I can give you these now.” He handed her two plane tickets.
“Wow, you were totally counting on me saying yes.”
“Let’s just say it was a risk I was willing to take.” He paused for a moment, confessing the truth. “I’ll need someone there with me tomorrow.”
Kylie smiled. “Then I’m glad you chose me.”
Faelan called his parents while they were waiting to board the plane the next morning. “Oh, and by the way I’m bringing someone for you to meet.”
“What?” her mother exclaimed on the phone. “Did you work it out with Mary?”
“No, Mom. But Mary and I are still friends.”
“I hate how it ended between you.”
“But it was for the best,” he assured her.
“You know…I was hoping you two would marry and have kids someday. They would have been so stunning.”
Faelan laughed. “I don’t know what weed you’re smoking, because I don’t see Mary ever having children.”
“Todd!” she protested.
He chuckled but apologized. “Sorry, Mom, but you threw me off with that statement.”
“Son,” his dad said, taking over the conversation. “Who are you bringing with you?”
“Her name is Kylie, Pop. She went to my high school.”
There was dead silence on the other end.
“She’s just a friend. We recently connected, but I think you’ll like her. Oh, and Mom, she’s a few years older than me. Just thought I’d throw that out there.”
He heard his father chuckle.
“How much older?” his mother asked, clearly concerned.
“Not much.”
Faelan heard a sniffle.
“Mom?”
“I just can’t forget how Mary was there for you during your recovery. I saw the difference she made in your life and I truly grew to love that girl.”
“There’s no reason to stop loving her.”
His father was perceptive and asked, “So what’s the real reason you’re coming, son? I’m not buying this sudden daytrip.”
“You know me too well, Pop. It’s true, I’m not just coming to see you guys, although it’s a perk. I’m also planning to visit Trevor’s grave while I’m there.”
His mother gasped. “I’ve been begging you to do that for years.”
“I know, Mom, but I wasn’t ready until now. You have Kylie to partly thank for that. She’s coming with me specifically for that reason.”
“Yes,” his mother exclaimed. “I’ve prayed for this ever since the accident.”
“It will be good to meet this miracle worker, son.”
As they were standing in line to board the plane, Kylie asked Faelan, “You ready to do this?”
Faelan smirked. “No.”
She gave him a shoulder bump. “You’ll be glad you did, trust me.”
He looked down at her smiling eyes and was struck with a thought. I want to live and breathe you.
There it was. The moment he knew he was in love with her.
There was no turning back now.
Faelan could feel Kylie trembling as they approached his parents’ old mountain cabin. She shifted nervously as she waited for them to answer the door.
“Why so nervous?”
&nbs
p; “I’m about to meet Todd Wallace’s parents face-to-face at their house. What’s not to be nervous about?”
He laughed. “They’re just people, Kylie.”
Faelan’s father opened the door. His gaze landed first on his son, then drifted down to Kylie.
“I think I remember you,” he stated.
Her face broke into a huge smile. “You do?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Didn’t you work at the hardware store?”
“I did! Used to work there on weekends and Wednesdays after school.”
“Hey, Ada, the girl from the hardware store is here. You remember her, don’t ya?” He turned back to Kylie and smiled. “A real nice kid. Real nice.”
Faelan felt a bit humiliated that his father remembered her, but felt vindicated when his mother did not. No amount of shared memories on his father’s part rang a bell for either of them.
“Well, as you can see, Todd may have gotten the brawn, but not the brains. They all went to his sister,” he teased.
Kylie laughed warmly. The sound of her laughter was like refreshing water to Faelan’s soul.
Yep, I’m falling hard.
His father had taken an instant liking to Kylie and asked a question he only bestowed on his closest friends. “Hey, you wanna feed the deer?”
“You know it’s illegal, Pop,” Faelan chastised.
“Your mother and I would rather go to jail taking care of those wild deer than watch them starve because of the severe drought we’ve had this year.”
“But that’s nature, Pop.”
“Any animal that crosses my property line becomes my responsibility. No government is going to tell me differently.”
“I can see it now,” Faelan told him, sweeping his hand in the air. “Elderly Couple Arrested for Illegal Grain Distribution.”
“Hey, if that’s how it plays out, so be it.”
Faelan rolled his eyes, knowing he would never be able to convince either of them to stop.
“I know you disapprove, son, but I’m too old to give a damn.”
Kylie laughed. “I like your attitude.”
Faelan noticed his mother looking him over, and wasn’t surprised to hear her assessment. “You seem a little pale, dear. Is everything okay?”
Faelan glanced at Kylie with a raised eyebrow. “My mother has never stopped treating me like a ten-year-old. Doesn’t matter that I’m pushing thirty.”
“Oh posh!” his mother complained.
Ada finally turned her attention on Kylie, taking a silent appraisal of her as well. “I think she’s worthy,” she stated, looking at her husband.
“Worthy of what, Mom?”
“Feeding the critters.”
“I love animals!” Kylie said excitedly.
“I could tell that about you. Critters have pure hearts and they can sense that in others. That’s why we’re picky about who feeds them.”
Ada stared at Faelan again and quickly glanced away when he caught her.
“Mom.”
She braved a look at her son.
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“A mother always worries…”
“Well, I’m doing just fine. That second chance I was given with the transplant isn’t going to be wasted.”
He looked at Kylie and reflected on how much had changed recently. He’d been broken inside ever since the accident. No amount of penance had been able to change that but, by some wondrous twist of fate, it seemed this girl made him feel differently—think differently.
Kylie returned his gaze with those expressive eyes that made the world stop for a moment. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you, Todd.”
He felt a chill run through him—not of fear but of expectation.
Kylie was a conduit of positive energy. Ren Nosaka and Marquis Gray had both expressed their high hopes for his future, something Faelan had never felt comfortable with. But when Kylie looked into his eyes, he suddenly felt a sureness he’d never known before.
For the first time in his life, Faelan believed he was ready to accomplish great things.
Turning his attention back to his mother, he told her, “It’s time you let go of the immature boy I used to be.”
He saw tears form in his mother’s eyes.
“No truer words have ever been spoken,” his father stated. Standing up, he walked over to Faelan and put his arm around his shoulder.
Faelan looked at him and vowed, “Someday I will make you proud, Pop.”
“I already am,” he answered without hesitation.
It was Faelan’s turn to feel overcome with emotion. He looked at his mother and grinned. “I love you, Mom.”
She shook her head, her lips trembling as she turned away.
He felt Kylie tense beside him and realized she saw his mother’s reaction as an offense, but he knew it for what it was. This was the first time she no longer saw her little boy when she looked at him, and it overwhelmed her.
“I don’t think I ever really told you guys how much I appreciated your support after the accident. I know that it damaged our family’s reputation and you lost good friends because of it.”
“You’re our son. Of course we supported you,” his mother exclaimed. “You never meant it to happen. It was simply a terrible accident.”
“I was at fault, but you never made me feel like I was a murderer or that you were ashamed of me.”
“We weren’t, son. Everyone has lost their attention on the road at some point. It is only by the grace of God we all haven’t caused an accident.”
“Well, I was drowning in guilt. It’s the reason I never showed appreciation for all your support—until now.”
“Think nothing of it,” his father told him.
“We felt your pain, Todd, honey. It was our responsibility as your parents to help you through it, no matter how many times you turned us away.”
He chuckled sadly. “I can’t tell you how much I resented it back then, Mom. But I am grateful you were so stubborn.”
“It’s the Wallace way,” Ada answered, patting his arm.
“And we wouldn’t want it any other way,” his father agreed.
Faelan took a deep breath. “Then this is it. I’m going to visit Trevor’s grave after all these years.”
His mother took a sharp intake of breath.
“What’s wrong, Mom?”
“I’ve never heard you say his name before.”
Faelan nodded. “I know, it’s been a long time in coming…”
“Before you go, son…” his father said, getting up and walking over to the liquor cabinet. Taking out a bottle of scotch from the cabinet, he walked back to Faelan and held out the bottle so his son could read the label.
“Pop, we can’t drink that.”
“Why not? I was given this the day you were born by one of my good friends. I think this is the perfect occasion.”
“But weren’t you keeping it for something special?”
“It was meant for this day.”
Faelan shrugged, shaking his head. “If you insist.”
When his father got out four shot glasses, Ada protested. “Don’t pour one for me, dear.”
“Everyone drinks today, Ada,” he insisted, handing her a glass.
He handed the next one to Kylie. “This is a special scotch that has been aged in sherry oak.” He gave her a wink, adding, “A rare treat.”
Kylie took the glass from him, looking at the amber liquid with interest.
His father handed the next shot to Faelan, stating, “I couldn’t be prouder of the man you’ve become.”
With four glasses raised, his father made a toast. “May the years contained in this gift from the gods add vitality and strength to you, my son.”
“To my Todd,” Ada added.
“And the future,” Kylie said.
Knowing what he was about to face, Faelan looked at them with a profound sense of connection. “To the strength of family, friends, and
good scotch.”
The whiskey was velvety smooth, tasting of orange and nutmeg with a slight hint of fruit. The warmth of the liquor seemed to flow down his throat and straight into his veins. “That’s damn good, Pop.”
When his father went to pour him another, Faelan stopped him. “Let’s save it.”
His father furrowed his brow but corked the whiskey, setting it carefully back in the cabinet.
Faelan turned to Kylie. As much as he dreaded what lay ahead, he was ready to face it. “Let’s head out before I lose my nerve.”
She took his hand and squeezed it. “You’ve got this.”
Faelan approached Trevor’s grave with trepidation, a heavy cloud of guilt making it hard to breathe as all those feelings he’d buried long ago came rushing to the surface.
He stared at the gravestone. It should have been his—but it wasn’t.
Faelan had lived with that painful truth every day since the crash.
Kylie stood beside him, a silent pillar of strength as he fought to express his deep sorrow to the boy he’d killed.
“Trevor, I’m sorry.”
The crushing weight of those words threatened to undo him.
“Nothing I have done or ever hope to do can make up for the future I stole from you that night. Not only did I end your life, but I changed the lives of everyone who knew you. It’s been ten years since your death and I live with that every day… I wish I could change what happened.”
Tears pricked his eyes and, for the first time since the accident, he let them fall.
He dropped to his knees, putting his hand on the cold stone. “You deserved a full life, but I took that from you. If you could look into my heart, you would know I’d trade places with you if I could.
“But…I can’t. You, your family, and every one of your friends paid the price for my moment of carelessness.”
Faelan lay his forehead against the gravestone, the full impact of the pain and grief he’d caused hitting him like a physical blow. He lifted his head and screamed in agony as he embraced the sorrow of Trevor’s brutal death and the emptiness that was left.