Then he turned her around with a pat on the butt and Mark sauntered to the bar. I saw his arm move in front of his body and knew that he was adjusting his junk. Even though his back was to me, I could imagine Mark’s smirk and playful wink to the guy at the bar.
Mark slid next to the dude by the bar and maintained his relaxed body language. He had about four minutes left to seal the deal.
Melanie appeared in front of me. “Where’s my brother?” she asked. “I’m ready to head back.” She had a guy in tow—he was about six one. Melanie was my height, though her shoes had higher heels than mine. I scanned the guy. He was attractive enough, with a nice beard. Maybe he was a good dancer... I had no idea how she made a selection.
“He’s over there trying to seduce a guy. He’s got three minutes... or twenty-three minutes. I don’t know, I’m a little confused by how this whole thing works.”
“You’re letting him do what?” she asked.
“We got bored. What else are you going to do in a place like this? We’ve danced for hours.”
“Sorry I held you up,” she said sarcastically (in a tone that Mark would have been proud of).
I shouldn’t have doubted Mark—he showed up at my side a moment later. “Hey guys, this is PJ.” PJ was silent. “Are we heading out?” he asked Melanie. Mark glanced at me once, but not with the gloating smirk that I expected.
“Yeah.” She looked at her guy. “He’s ready.”
“Cool, cool.” Mark pulled PJ close to his body. “See, dude. Told you it was last call for me. You want to head out? We can blow this joint and play some Madden.”
“Yeah sure.”
“Yeah,” Mark said encouragingly. “We all strike out from time to time. Chicks man, I tell you.”
“I know,” PJ complained. “Fuck, you had a hot one there for a minute.”
Mark laughed. “You saw that?” Mark did a perfect ‘aw-shucks’ routine. “You never want to get with girls that are that easy. Trust me.”
PJ nodded like he knew what Mark was talking about. PJ had been completely sucked into Mark’s gravity—Mark’s smile, Mark’s bouncy enthusiasm, his charisma, his effortless dominance.
“Oh, by the way. This is my boyfriend, Chris.”
PJ blanched. Mark had his arm companionably around PJ’s shoulder and was smiling at him stupidly. “Wha-what... you’re a couple of fa-fags?” PJ got aggressive. He looked like he wanted to punch me.
Mark laughed. “Cool it, tiger,” Mark commanded. PJ was slightly drunk and more than worshipful of Mark’s effortless attractiveness—he was easy pickings. Mark pulled PJ closer to me and whispered seductively in PJ’s ear. “Why don’t you tell my bro what you told me over there.” PJ didn’t move. “It’s okay. Whisper it to him. You’ll feel good.” Mark was practically purring. “Your cock certainly likes it.”
PJ swallowed his pride. He leaned into my personal space—I could smell the beer on his breath. “Fuck... I... I want to suck his cock,” PJ admitted.
“Well, that was eleven minutes,” I commented.
“I had him hooked three minutes ago,” Mark stated. “And anyways, I gave myself a half an hour. Dude, I could have had this guy’s ass in half an hour.” Mark touched PJ on the forearm. “No offense, bro.”
“Um,” PJ said. His head was spinning—or maybe his stomach was roiling. I felt bad for him.
“Mark, don’t you feel bad for the guy? Why don’t you fix him up like you did for me.” I pointed to the sloppy girl who was grinding on another random dude. “She looks perfect.”
“I’m not touching that skank again.”
“You fucking kissed her. You’re going to set these two up.” I walked out on the floor with Mark as he made the proper arrangements. PJ was a happy (if confused) man and Mark and I finished our fun. Melanie was back to grinding on her stray. “Okay, let’s go,” I said.
We hopped in an Uber. I took the front and Mark took the seat next to Melanie, who couldn’t keep her hands off her random dude. We got back to Mark’s place and my partner stopped me from entering the kitchen. “We’re gonna chill for an hour, Mel,” Mark said. He shut the door and let the two horny kids get after it.
“I don’t want to stay out all night,” I complained.
“It’s only two.”
“I’m an old man. I go to bed before midnight every night.”
“Tomorrow’s Sunday and I’m going to sleep in with my man.” Mark kissed me. “If you want to listen to them go at it like rabbits, then sure... we can go in.” He unlocked the door and held it open for me. I heard two loud moans and that was enough for me. I shook my head and he laughed. “Come on. Devon is always up this late.”
“Who’s Devon?”
“Workout partner. Former workout partner.”
“So a fuck buddy.”
“Yes, a fuck buddy. And one of my friends. We meet up at the club all the time. He knows all about you. He’ll love to meet you.”
“I don’t know.”
Mark walked me up two floors to Devon’s apartment. Devon’s place was the same layout as Mark’s except it had two bathrooms. The master bath was private and the second bath was closer to the living room.
That second bathroom was where I would eventually get peed on by a stranger while I sat in a tub full of ice as an orgy raged throughout the apartment... but I digress. That story is for another installment of this memoir.
Devon’s style was cheaper than Mark’s—his couches were economical and used. His table was beat up. His paintings on the wall were cruder.
Devon shook my hand greedily. “So, Mark bagged the unicorn.”
“I’m not a unicorn.”
Mark gave me a side hug. “I bagged him alright. Three months late, but I got him.” Mark kissed me on the side of the head even as I tried to pull away.
“Cool, come on in. Me ‘n Shane are just playing some Madden.”
“Figures,” Mark said. I found it odd that Mark had offered to play Madden with the guy at the club and now here we were... playing Madden, which I sucked at. I was horrible at all computer and console games that weren’t for N64 or strategy city-builders.
I took a drumming from the guys and had to beg to be let off. I just wanted to watch, but Mark wouldn’t let me quit. “I suck,” I said at one point. “I’ll have to bring over my N64 and kick your butts.”
“I have a 64,” Shane said. “You wanna play?”
I proceeded to kick their asses at Mario Kart. Shane put in Diddy Kong and I said that I would beat them all again. I was very confident. Shane chose the hovercraft in the level with the drawbridge. The hovercraft was the most difficult to control and since Shane was practiced, he got a big enough lead where he could raise the drawbridge and make it difficult for me.
“I haven’t played Diddy Kong since freshman year of college,” I complained. I concentrated and lightly tapped the controls to smooth my hovercraft’s movements. There were multiple sharp turns so I braked early, as was appropriate to maintain your speed. I almost caught up to Shane in the last thirty seconds. “Let’s play again,” I said after I lost. “I’ll beat you.”
“I know you will. Shit, you’re good.” Shane was impressed... in a low-stakes kind of way.
Mark touched my back and I snapped out of my competitive zone. Then I laughed. Mark could clearly see how much I wanted to crush Shane. I leaned back against my man and enjoyed his warmth.
We let Devon and Shane do the talking. I closed my eyes and tried not to fall asleep.
Devon and Shane were ‘roommates’ with a friends-with-benefits arrangement. If they both struck out at the clubs, they would come back and fool around together. Mark had been a regular third in their fun when he moved back to Chicago in February.
It sounded to me like Devon and Shane were actually a couple with a really open door policy and not simply friends-with-benefits. I didn’t want to say anything about my suspicions... just let them keep thinking they were only friends.
It was obvious to
me that they were more.
I was almost asleep. “Time to get up,” Mark said. “I’ve got to take my unicorn home.”
“I’m not a unicorn,” I said, grumpily. I shook Devon and Shane’s hand. “Nice to meet you guys.”
“I thought we were going to see you at the club,” Devon said. “This was a nice surprise.”
“No. I wanted to have a quiet night in, but then his sister showed up. God, I’m so fucking tired. What time is it?” I leaned against Mark for support. It was four in the morning.
Mark guided me to the elevator, then into his apartment.
“We’re home, babe,” he whispered. He flicked on the kitchen lights, which almost blinded me. The hallway light was already on... so why did he have to blind me?
“Turn that off,” I said with a curse. “Fuck, my eyes hurt.”
“You complain a lot.” His hands touched my back. “You’re cute when you’re grumpy.”
“I’ll show you grumpy,” I said, taking a potshot at his crotch.
“Ow!” He tried to keep his voice low. “The fuck was that for?”
“I don’t know. I’m really tired.” I stood before the bathroom mirror and brushed my teeth. “No talking to me as I fall asleep tonight.”
“I never do that,” Mark lied.
“Liar.” He often tried to get me to say weird things as I fell asleep and I often obliged. Then he would tell me about it in the morning and make fun of me.
I shed my clothes and crawled under the sheets. Mark kept his room cool and it felt so nice when you wanted to sleep. His bed was like heaven. I could feel him crawl into the bed and make a nest behind me. I was almost gone and it had only been thirty seconds. I felt his pressure as he slid behind me in the big spoon position.
I sighed.
“You did good today,” Mark said.
“Busy day,” I agreed. My eyes felt like they were sealed with cement.
“Thank you for not freaking out about my sister.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I know you like having your schedules and you don’t do anything spontaneous.”
“I am spontaneous,” I said, keeping my dreams at bay like a valiant knight fighting a dragon.
“No, you aren’t,” he murmured. Mark kissed me on the neck and told me to go to sleep.
“I figured she would show up someday,” I said. “And I figured if she was anything like you said, we would be going out to a party.” I yawned.
“You were ready for her...” It was a compliment. “I’m so proud of you. I know you were stressed out all night. I’ll make you breakfast in bed tomorrow, how’s that?”
“Just don’t leave the jelly on the counter,” I said (apparently, according to Mark the next morning). “And give your sister some of your shirts.” I sighed, snuggled into his chest, and said nothing more for the rest of the night. Or, at least, Mark didn’t tease me about anything else I might have said.
THE NEXT MORNING I woke up and there was breakfast in bed—fruit, yoghurt and the kind of granola that I could eat.
“Rise and shine, babe.” Mark looked like he had primped in front of the mirror for half an hour before getting me up.
“This is a role reversal,” I said, sleepily. “I feel like I should be making breakfast for you.”
“I’ll see you next week,” he said with a kiss. “You can make breakfast for me then all you want.”
I snorted. “You wish. Sometimes I think that’s the only reason you want me here.”
“That and your sexy ass.” He mixed his yoghurt. “Spiffy ass. My bad.”
“Your bags are packed,” I said with a yawn.
“Everything is ready. You can still come with me if you want. It’s the Big Apple...”
“No. Gah! You know I have to work.”
He ruffled my hair. “I know. I’m going to miss this bedhead.”
“When you get back I will be completely moved out of my parents’ house and then you can see this bedhead every morning.”
“I don’t know. You’re so nasty in the morning.” Mark was chipper.
“Don’t be so happy. I’m tired. Shit, this really is a role reversal. What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“Fuck! I’ve got—”
“—to stay in bed with me. Finish eating. I got you a computer so you can work in bed.”
I loaded my work documents as I finished breakfast. Mark cleaned up our meal. I typed as fast as I could to get my morning writing out of the way. I was already way behind for the day... might as well take a half day and enjoy a lazy afternoon with my man. I wouldn’t see him for a week!
Mark got in bed with me and played on his phone.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Get back to work,” he commanded.
I worked until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was naked. He had his favorite maroon rugby shorts on. “How’s Melanie doing?”
“She’s out shopping for a couple hours.”
“And you didn’t go with her?” That was mildly shocking. I was his boyfriend, obviously... but he loved shopping and I hated it. I couldn’t believe he had passed up an opportunity.
He glared at me over his phone. “I’m working on Instagram until my boyfriend says it’s time to go for a run.”
“But it’s not Monday.”
“Well, I’m not going to be here on Monday. Or on Thursday. So I want to go for a run with you before I leave.”
“Okay. But no naked shenanigans. It’s a weekend and... fuck. It’s almost noon. There’s going to be so many people there.”
“Let’s do a hill workout,” Mark requested.
“You? Hills?”
“I’ve got a lot of runway work this week. I need my thighs and glutes to be solid as a rock.”
I rolled my eyes.
WE RAN IN THE PARK and made it home, but Melanie still wasn’t back.
“Did she leave without saying goodbye?”
“Nah. She said she would take me to the airport.”
“I’m taking you.”
“You can stay here and work.”
“I’m taking you,” I stressed. There was no way I was going to let his sister claim some of my hard-earned territory.
We showered together. It wasn’t a fast shower and there was kissing and there was masturbation. We were both satisfied by the time the water ran cold. We hopped out and changed. I left Mark staring at himself in the mirror. It would be another ten minutes at least before I saw him again.
Melanie was back.
“Hey Mel,” I said pleasantly.
“Hey yourself. Did you two have a good morning?”
“Sure did. How was your night?”
“Anticlimactic. He wasn’t as big as I thought.” What the fuck kind of a thing to say! “I thought he was going to be more controlling, but... lol. He was more of a sub.”
“Submissive?”
“Yeah. What do you think ‘sub’ stands for.” She smirked at me, which made her look so much like Mark that it was freaky. “Mark was right, you are innocent as fuck.”
“What? Am not.”
Mel laughed at me. “Where is he?”
“Fixing his hair. Where else?”
“Get used to that. He’s been like that since we were kids.”
“Is he always late to everything?”
“Always. My parents used to get so mad at him, especially my dad. And he would hog up the bathroom so that our older sisters would get mad at him.” Mel rolled her eyes. “Mark has always needed a lot of attention.”
“I can imagine.”
“As long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
I was ready to change the tone of the conversation. “So the two of you were close, growing up?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t elaborate. Mark loved to chat, but Melanie loved to intimidate... and one of her favorite tools was, apparently, her silent stares.
“Are we going to be seeing more of you?” I asked at one po
int.
“Do you want to be seeing more of me?”
What is it with these games? Mel needs to grow up. “Your brother and I are together. I’d love to see you more often. I’d like us to be friends.”
“Fat chance.” She drained her juice. “Listen, I know I was bitchy to you earlier—” I cringed when she said ‘bitchy’. “—but you’ve got to understand where I’m coming from. I’ve seen Mark hook up with more guys than I care to count, and I don’t go out with him much. He won’t ever settle down.” She shrugged—another very Mark-like gesture. “Sorry.”
“At least you’re blunt. I can appreciate that.” I resisted her intimidation techniques... I knew a thing or two about sibling protectiveness.
I had been fiercely attached to my cousin Lynn before she settled down with her husband. I may have been a little dramatic when Jake first arrived in the picture. I eventually realized I was being selfish and course-corrected with a melodramatic speech before practically shoving my cousin on a flight to Houston to be with her fiancé.
Jake had asked me the day before if I remembered what I had said during that speech... and the truth was I remembered it with crystal clarity. But it was embarrassing, so I denied ever making such a silly speech.
Mark finally (finally!) left his mirror. “You’re going to miss your flight,” I commented.
“We’ve got plenty of time. Let’s hit the road. Sorry we couldn’t spend more time together, sis.”
“It’s okay. Next time I’ll come down on a Friday. I really had to get out of town for a minute.”
“We have a spare bedroom,” I offered. “It’s yours anytime.”
“Just don’t use the zigzag sheets,” Mark added. “God help you if you use Chris’ sheets.”
“Shut up.”
“It’s true!”
“Not in front of other people.” I crossed my arms and used my eyebrows as an effective warning signal.
Melanie was not amused by our banter. “Spare bedroom, but no parking spots?”
“You’ll have to call ahead if you want to park. We’ll park Chris’ car at his new shithole.”
“Hey!”
“I’m just calling it like I see it, dude. Why wouldn’t you want to live here?” He spread out his arms and we both took in his incredible view.
IJUH complete Page 6