by Leah Fleming
‘How on earth can that thing float?’ she croaked as they joined the embarkation queue making its way onto C Deck. She was so in awe of the scale of the vessel that would be their home for the next week that she stumbled over the skirt of the woman in front, who turned round and glared.
‘Had a good trip?’ Joe laughed, but May wasn’t amused.
‘My feet don’t want to board this ship,’ she whispered.
‘Stuff and nonsense,’ Joe replied, reading her mind. ‘God himself couldn’t sink this ship!’
‘I hope you know what we’re doing, Joe. It’s such a long way to go.’ She pulled her coat around her tightly.
‘Just look for yourself, the water’s deep enough to hold her up. The Titanic’s brand new, and we are lucky to be sailing on her. The papers say her Third Class is as good as First on other ships. They say she has every safety feature known to man. She’s unsinkable. Don’t go worrying, May.’
Their tickets were checked off and they were inspected for signs of fever and lice by a man in a white coat and spectacles, which May found utterly shaming. They could strip her down to her chemise and not find anything but clean Lancashire cotton.
Guided by stewards, they followed the queue onto C Deck. Despite herself May felt a shiver of fear as they descended lower into the ship along a narrow warren of corridors. She’d never liked the water much, not even a ride on the boating lake in Queens Park, though Joe had made her learn to swim up at the reservoirs at Belmont. He’d taught her a half-decent breast stroke one bank holiday at the Blue Lagoon. Splashing and protesting, she’d hated feeling the water up her nose and in her eyes, and had strained to keep her head out of it.
Down in the bowels of the ship they were directed to a neat pine-panelled cabin with bunks, one of many along a linoleum-tiled corridor with steel walls now as wide as a high street. The passage was crowded with noisy families, racing children excitedly calling to one another in a babble of foreign languages. The air was filled with strange aromas: spices, tobacco smoke, sweat, all mixed with the smell of fresh paint.
Inside the cabin May sat down on the bunk and instinctively tested it for size. ‘A proper mattress this time,’ she noted. Everything was new: the sheets, the towels, the flooring. ‘I can’t breathe in here,’ she said. ‘It’s clean but . . .’ She couldn’t imagine how she’d spend seven nights cooped up in this wooden box of a room, clean as it was. It smelled like a coffin. She shuddered again and then looked over at Ellen, who was crawling around the floor, exploring. Another one with a thirst for adventure. She needed to pull herself together. At least they weren’t forced to share with strangers.
‘Right then,’ she rallied herself, ‘let’s get on deck. I’ll feel better when I get some fresh air.’
Weaving in and out of a maze of passages and stairs, May eyed the ship’s quarters with wonder, almost forgetting her misgivings. ‘It’s like a town all of its own,’ she exclaimed, peering into every open space. There was a huge dining room with long wooden tables and solid captain’s chairs like the ones in the church vestry. The floors were laid with patterned lino that smelled new and gluey. There was a room for smokers somewhere above but here was a large saloon with comfortable armchairs and a piano in the corner. Everything was polished and sparkling, with framed pictures on the walls and pot plants standing in corners. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be found. It was all most satisfactory and yet . . . She couldn’t help feeling it was far too big and they were accommodated far too low in the water.
Joe carried Ellen down corridors and up stairs in search of some open space on deck where they could look at the seagulls. ‘It won’t be long now before we’re off,’ he shouted, and May saw the genuine excitement etched on his face. She turned and watched other passengers hugging their relatives, saying goodbye, with something close to envy. She and Joe had hardly one blood relative between them. All their hopes were pinned on ‘Uncle’ George in Idaho. As happy as their little family was, it would be wonderful to have a sense of belonging to something bigger.
It was strange to think they might never see England again, never see the Union Jack flying or hear good Lancashire voices calling to one another on the pavements. Where would she find a decent cup of tea? She’d heard they only drank coffee in the States. Joe was pointing out ships on the other berths to Ellen, hanging over the side and watching a crane hoist up a beautiful black and gold saloon car. There was such wealth on board higher up in the First Class apartments though May knew the likes of them would be kept well away from such important passengers. They would be living on board in two different worlds but she didn’t care as long as they all arrived safely in New York.
May turned towards Joe and felt the breeze on Ellen’s cold cheeks. Time to go indoors. She didn’t want to watch the ship sliding away from her homeland or see the teary farewells from relatives pausing for one last glimpse of their loved ones. It had been a long day and she wanted to explore further below deck. If she got lost there were stewards to help her and she’d memorized their cabin number. Depending on the weather there would be seven nights to endure, she thought with a sigh. She hoped she could hold on until Wednesday.
Later that evening Joe was pacing up and down the little cabin, impatient. ‘Why do you huddle in here like a hermit crab when there’s so much to explore? There’s a piano playing, and singing, we can listen to the orchestra, have a bite to eat. I’ve never seen so many choices on the menu: pies, pastries, salads. We should fill up our bellies while we can,’ he advised.
‘You go on,’ May replied, groaning from her bunk. ‘My stomach’s not up to it. I don’t fancy moving about. It’s thronged with people now. We don’t know anyone and half the people I’ve seen don’t speak a word of English since we picked up that lot at Cherbourg. What a racket they make.’
‘We’re all in the same boat, love,’ Joe smiled. ‘Everyone’s wanting to make a fresh start in the New World. Don’t begrudge them their chances.’
‘I’m not, it’s just I feel safe here. I can’t explain it but I just feel safe with all my things around me.’
‘No one’s going to steal anything.’
‘You never know.’
‘Oh, May, you are funny. Here we are on the high seas – where would they run to? And what have we got to be stolen?’
‘There’s those lovely sheets I was given,’ she argued, knowing she was being a worry guts.
‘With our initials on them? Don’t be daft! They probably have far nicer ones of their own. Come on, let’s give Ellen some fresh air before we turn in for the night.’
‘I’ve had this funny feeling in the pit of my belly ever since I saw the size of the Titanic,’ May argued. ‘I can’t shift it. You go and let me rest.’
‘Now you’re being morbid; that’s not like you,’ Joe replied. ‘Fresh air will do you good.’
‘I suppose you’re right, lying here won’t change anything, but I wish I didn’t feel so worried.’ May put on her woollen jacket and muffler and pinned on her beret with the pompom on the top, tying Ellen into her plaid shawl.
‘That’s better. Let’s go and see the stars and make a wish.’ Joe took her hand.
May smiled up at her husband. She must trust in Joe’s good common sense. He was the sort of man that was handed nothing but blows in life, no parents, no money, no education. Now he was going to make something of himself, no matter what. How could she not love a man like that?
Despite her misgivings May slept well on that first night out at sea. The meals in the dining room were delicious and settled her stomach. It was such a treat to be cooked for and waited on, and it gave her and Joe a chance to wander round on deck and let Ellen toddle between them. After they docked in Ireland, there’d be nothing but the grey open sea between them and their final destination. She must try to relax and enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime voyage.
It was cold and she was glad of her thick jacket and Joe’s overcoat. Ellen had layers of knitted wool with a felted coat, bonnet an
d firm leather boots given to her by a neighbour for when she started to walk properly. It was strange to think she’d spend her first birthday thousands of miles away from the place where she had been born.
May looked up with wonder at the stars stretched across the sky. Where would they be this time next week? ‘Do you think we’re doing the right thing?’
Joe nodded and smiled, dismissing her edginess. ‘It’s been a smooth ride so far. We’re in safe hands.’ He pointed up where the captain, with his distinctive white beard, strode on deck inspecting his crew, then watching over them from his perch. ‘He’s the best captain or he wouldn’t be steering this ship on its maiden voyage, now, would he? Enjoy it, we won’t be doing this again in our lifetime, will we?’
4
Celestine looked up through her black veil at the ship that would be taking her back to America. Her shoes felt like lead as she stepped along the First Class gangway, her brother storming ahead, dying to inspect the transatlantic liner from bow to stern.
‘Wait for me!’ she called.
Selwyn turned and grinned. ‘Come on, slow coach, I want to see what all the bally fuss is about this Titanic, and Father wants you to meet that old dear, the archdeacon’s aunt . . .’
‘My chaperone. Honestly, can’t a married woman be allowed on board without a guardian? I hope Mrs Grant isn’t as awful as the one I had coming over. She could see I was worried about Mama but she insisted on talking throughout the entire journey.’
‘Grover was quite insistent you were not to travel unaccompanied,’ Selwyn replied. ‘Though why he couldn’t accompany you himself beats me. We all wanted to meet little Roddy too. Poor Mama never got to see him . . .’
‘I know, but my husband’s a very busy man.’
‘It was your mother’s funeral, for pity’s sake! You could have done with some support on the journey over, especially in the circumstances.’ Selwyn was not one to mince his words. It was one of the things Celestine loved about him.
‘You’ve all looked after me so well. I’m fine. Of course, I’d like to have my own family around me but Grover said funerals are not for children.’
‘He could have made the effort, Sis.’
‘I know . . . it’s just . . .’ How could she explain that Grover didn’t take much interest in England or her family? He had his own parents close by and was insistent that Roddy’s routine must not be disturbed. Her only thought now was to return to her son and settle back into the daily routine, and to do that she must climb onto this monster whale’s back to go west, home to Akron, Ohio.
Selwyn helped her settle herself into her cabin, making sure she could spread herself out and not be disturbed. If the voyage were as bad as her crossing five weeks ago, she was in for a painful time and would spend most of it in her cabin.
Because of a coal strike that had caused disruption to shipping schedules, she’d been given an alternative berth on the Titanic for her return to New York. She ought to be thrilled to be on its maiden voyage with all the razzmatazz in Southampton, but her heart was heavy to be leaving her family behind. She wondered when she would see them again. If she would ever see her father again. He’d looked so frail, so broken after her mother’s death.
The First Class apartments were on the upper decks; state rooms and private cabins were connected by corridors laid with thick, plush carpets. Her cabin was well lit with electric lamps, and she had a brass-railed bed with sumptuous soft linens and an eiderdown. The walls were lined with panels of flock wallpaper like a fine hotel room, and fresh flowers everywhere; the scents of hothouse lilies, freesias and jasmine barely disguised the odour of newly decorated paintwork. There were even excellent stewardesses at her beck and call with the push of a button on the wall. If only she could get away from the smell of paint and glue, which made her feel queasy. It was a pity her sea legs were so poor. Sea travel was a luxurious business these days.
They met up with the elderly widow Mrs Grant at the top of the grand staircase by the wonderful carved clock. Selwyn stood to admire the elegant sweep of the stairs and the great latticed glass dome, which allowed light to shine down the carved oak balustrades. ‘Not one for sliding down, Sis?’ he smiled. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it.’
Ada Grant was going out to visit her sister in Pennsylvania for the summer. There wasn’t time to get very well acquainted before the whistle blew, but Celeste promised to take tea with her later.
It was time for Selwyn to leave the ship but Celeste clutched his hand. Tears welled and she clung to him. ‘I wish I could stay longer.’
‘Steady on, old girl. Mama’s at peace now.’
How she wanted to cry out to him, finally to tell him the truth. ‘I know and I must return. Roddy needs me but . . . You will look after Papa for me.’ She felt sick to her stomach, knowing that her bereaved father and two brothers thought her so fortunate to be married to a wealthy businessman with a darling little boy and a lovely house. They knew only what she wanted them to know. She couldn’t let them worry.
‘Goodbye and good luck.’ Selwyn hugged her. ‘Bon voyage and all that, and don’t leave it so long next time. Roddy will be in long pants before we get to meet him.’ With that he was gone, striding down the corridor and off the ship.
Celestine looked after him, bereft. She didn’t think she’d ever felt so entirely alone.
What she needed now was fresh air and one last lingering look at the dockside. She must take her leave of her country. ‘Be British and stomach your sorrow,’ she chided herself, thinking of her father’s words when he’d caught her crying in her room the evening before. She hadn’t had the heart to tell him the real reason for her tears.
Wrapping herself in her new black coat and pinning the black hat and veil firmly over her face, she made her way down the panelled corridor with its two-toned blue carpet. There seemed to be smiling stewards around every corner to guide her out onto the promenade deck.
The ship was stirring into life, and she wanted to watch it turning out of the dock to face up the river to Southampton and out towards Cherbourg, seventy miles across the Channel. France would be their next port of call.
A crowd had gathered at the railings as the whistles blasted over the city. People were climbing up poles and through windows, waving them off from every vantage point along the coastline, shouting and cheering them on their way. How she wished she was a little girl again at the seaside at Sidmouth, watching as the tall sailing ships floated across the water. Roddy would have loved all this. He was nearly three and such a chatterbox. She’d bought him picture books of London and postcards of the Titanic and a toy yacht to help her explain to him where she’d been all this time.
The Titanic drifted slowly from the dock, pulled out by little tugs and manoeuvred into a position so she was facing downriver.
There were other big liners tied up at their berths like a stable of restless horses, but as the ship passed there was a sudden swell of water, and Celeste could see one of the liners jerk from its mooring.
‘The ropes on the New York have snapped!’ shouted one of the sailors working behind her.
‘It’s going to crash into us!’ screamed a passenger.
‘Bloody hell, what a start to a maiden voyage!’ another shouted across to the officer looking on in shock.
All eyes were fixed on the New York. Its stern was arcing outwards, drawing to them. But below, a little tug was coming to the rescue, gathering up its loose rope, gaining control of the errant steed, somehow pulling it away as the captain on the bridge above them was steering the ship out of danger, edging it slowly out of the path of the oncoming liner. They seemed to be going backwards.
‘Drama over. That was a close call!’ A sigh of relief went round the onlookers but Celeste overheard a steward mutter under his breath, ‘I didn’t like this ship before, and now I like it even less. It can’t even get into the water without causing trouble.’
She smiled to herself. Sailors were a superstitious lot and
she didn’t have time for such folly. You made your own fortunes, she thought. It was the one thing she agreed with Grover about. No point in dwelling on misfortunes that didn’t happen. There were enough of them that did. The danger had been averted by skill and science. It boded well for their journey.
Now they were on their way, delayed for only an hour or so. It was time to explore the rest of this floating palace but first she must take tea with her chaperone. Mrs Grant was waiting in the Café Parisienne.
‘Isn’t this modern? It’s like an open veranda and the wicker trelliswork with the ivy is so realistic, don’t you think? They’ve thought of everything. It’s all light and air and sea views. Isn’t this journey going to be fun?’
Celeste tried to look enthused but all she could think of was Selwyn on his way home and what might be waiting for her in Akron, Ohio.
Later she strolled around the freshly painted deck, enjoying the familiar strains of music from the ship’s orchestra playing in an open gallery nearby. She’d seen signs to a gymnasium and both a swimming bath and a Turkish bath down below deck. She found her way to the reading room to seek a quiet corner to read her Edith Wharton novel: The House of Mirth. She must make the most of her remaining time alone. This perhaps would be where she took her refuge, among the soft armchairs and the writing tables. The room was decorated in a Georgian style with moulded panelled walls painted white, simple fittings and a bay window overlooking the promenade deck letting in even more light. Here she could sink into a chair and escape into her book.
But as the waters drew them further and further from the shore, she felt a peculiar churning in her stomach. It was time to head for the safety of her four-poster bed until this feeling passed. All this luxury didn’t make for happiness but it certainly made misery more comfortable.