I took a deep breath, and then another to force the tears at bay. “We can talk.” I pulled Frenchie closer to me and began petting her head absently.
“I know this is probably the last thing you want to be doing, but we need to do it while the memories are still fresh. It’ll give us the best chance of figuring things out and coming up with a game plan.”
“I’m willing to do whatever I have to do. Don’t be gentle or use kid gloves. If it costs me a little pain to fix this, then it’s worth it.” I stood up ready to follow him wherever we needed to go.
“No, we can do this here. It’ll help you relax if you’re in a comfortable location and the more relaxed you are, the more accurate your memory will be. Under normal circumstances, I’d use your bracelet to decode and playback what happened, but they somehow managed to get it off.”
I rubbed my right hand down my left arm, stopping to trace over the new bracelet I’d been given when they examined me. It sparkled in the light, and I hated it. I wanted my bracelet back. The one Max used to trace over and over again when he told me he was so glad I’d come into his world. This new, shiny one was a reminder of everything I’d lost.
“I know how they got it off,” I stated simply.
James’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Are you sure? No one’s been able to figure it out. We’ve been banging our heads trying to figure out how the bracelet failed.”
“They turned—” I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to say the words. “They turned Max into a vampire. As soon as they did, the bracelet slid right off.”
Cassie covered her mouth in shock, and James began furiously typing away at the keyboard he conjured. “I’m calling the team. I’m sorry, Lucy, but it isn’t safe to talk about this here. We need to go…elsewhere.”
I nodded, not needing to say anything more. I knew that with the spy still out there, we really couldn’t do much unless we were secured in our Gideon facility. James placed his hand on the small of my back and led me out the door. Cassie and Lola slipped on their shoes and followed, but no one said a word during the short walk.
James wasted no time in getting started. He addressed the group and then dropped the bomb about Max’s current status. A few hands rubbed my shoulders and gave me reassuring squeezes, but I couldn’t bring myself to look in their eyes. Their pity would kill me, rot in me every time I closed my eyes. I was barely holding it together as it was, so I kept my head down and focused on a scuff mark on my shoe.
“Um, can I ask a question?” Zander interrupted. James nodded and he continued. “If they took Max’s bracelet off by making him a vampire, then how did they get Lucy’s off?”
“Yeah, I mean, there has to be another way,” Cassie piped up. “She’s not all fangy now. So why turn him?”
“I was turned,” I sniffled. “At least, I think I was. But they turned me back. They needed to use my bracelet to gain control of me and hack into it. Then, I think they manipulated it so it jammed your signal and you couldn’t find me. I’m sure they used it for other things too, but I know that as soon as Max entered the building where I was held, he couldn’t call for help any more. We were trying to escape so you could ping our location, but it didn’t work. There were too many of them.”
“The Louisiana team already sent a group to the location Max last checked in, and based off what you told me earlier, we think we found the warehouse. Unfortunately, it was completely cleared out.”
“They said they were leaving. They have another location, but I never heard them say where.”
I could hear Adam grinding his teeth in frustration, and Marco let out a deep sigh. “So you think they’ll turn him back once they have his bracelet off?”
Tears welled in my eyes. “I hope so, but I don’t know. When they took my bracelet away, it made it harder for my body to heal. So when they fed from me—”
“They fed from you?!” Adam yelled.
“For weeks. Every time they made newborns, they made them feed from me to become stronger. When Max agreed to surrender in return for my release, Alastair practically salivated at getting his older, stronger blood.”
“I swear to all that is holy, I am going to rip each one of their pathetic pointed teeth out of their mouths and then shove them up their—”
“Enough, Adam. We get that you’re upset, and he’s your best friend. We’re all upset. But we need to keep a cool head here and think of a way to outsmart them. Chess, my friend. Not dodgeball.”
Adam grunted and sat back down, smoothing his hands on his pant legs. “Dodgeball’s a lot more satisfying.”
Marco smirked slightly, and Zander and Adam grunted and nodded their heads. James ignored the comment and continued. “What else can you tell us, Lucy? The more details we have, the better our positioning for our next attack.”
I squirmed in my seat as all eyes turned on me. I knew I needed to tell them, but they’d hate me for causing the whole mess. Not that I’d blame them—I was at fault. It was hard to see the disappointment and shamed looks I would get. I flattened my hands on my thighs, but found myself digging my nails into the skin there as I began recounting the story. Once I started, I held nothing back. I told them every detail I could remember from the moment I saw the Jessica imposter and ran after her until the hood was placed over my head and I was shoved into a trunk.
When I finished, I swallowed hard and finally looked up at everyone. Cassie was holding Adam’s hand, James was pacing the room, but what shocked me the most was Elizabeth was dabbing her eyes—was she crying? I saw red and made a fist, digging my newly manicured nails into my palms.
“Listen, I don’t need any of your stupid pity,” I spat at the group. “You don’t think I know that this is my fault? You don’t think I know that everything I love turns to fuckin’ stone? That I’m a plague here?” I stood up and stormed out of the room to the astonishment of the now silent group. I shoved a chair out of my way as I rounded a corner, screaming back to them, “Just leave me the hell alone before I screw up your afterlives too!”
The fresh air smacked me as I stepped outside, and I crumbled to the ground sobbing. Even though the sky was bright, with beautiful shades of pink and orange, inside it was like the blackest night. Guilt, grief, and worry coursed through my veins, making the very act of breathing next to impossible. I continued to cry, trying to expunge the hurt and pain out of me as I sat on the cold ground. I wasn’t alone long before soft, reassuring arms were around me. Cassie leaned her cheek against my back and let me cry.
“I’m so sorry,” I cried. “I have no idea why I acted like that. It was totally uncalled for and I have no excuse for what I said.”
Cassie hugged me a little tighter. “We all need a bitchy moment every now and then. And after the few weeks that you’ve had, I’d say you might even be entitled to another one. No one is upset with you, so don’t worry about it. Finish up your cry so we can go back to formulating a plan to kick some major ass.”
I took a long, deep breath, feeling the nasty energy receding back. I rolled my shoulders a few times, letting it fall off of me until I felt a little more like myself. When I knew I was ready to face everyone, I stood up and nodded at Cassie. James, standing at the doorway leaning against the wall, gave me a soft smile and nodded once.
“You sure you want to continue tonight?” he asked softly. “We can give you a little more time if you need it. It’s totally understandable.”
I smiled up at him, thankful he’d be willing to do that. “No, I can continue. I need to continue. I need to feel like I’m doing something to contribute to fixing the mess I’ve created. I can’t sit around doing nothing, I’ll go even more crazy.”
“Then let’s go get your boy back.”
Chapter Twenty
After hours of debate and discussion, the Gideon team realized that there were only two options for getting Max—and consequently Jessica—back. The first option was my least favorite: wait for the vampires to make an appearance. James h
ad been in touch with division leaders all across the world, and if any vampire or werewolf were caught, they would be held for questioning by a member of our team. Adam, Zander, and Elizabeth volunteered for this. The only problem was tracking down someone who yielded any results could take months, or God forbid, years.
The second option was only slightly better: draw out the spy. Obviously whoever it was knew exactly where Max and Jessica would be, so if we could find the bastard we’d have our answers. Marco began pulling double duty trying to use his ability to weed out possibilities, but there were still too many. Cassie, Lola, and I were given a list of people and told to inconspicuously plant false leads as to where units would be staked out on different nights. That way, if vampires or werewolves showed up to ambush, we’d know who sent them there.
A week passed. And with each day—no, each minute—the emptiness grew inside me. My whole body ached, and I was physically and mentally exhausted. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate, and I couldn’t stop crying. I, of course, knew that none of this was helpful in any way, but I couldn’t seem to get my body on board.
I was constantly on edge, waiting for the spark that would set me off. My knuckles were white from clenching my hands into fists, and I’d begun to grind my teeth in my sleep. No matter what the medical team gave me, there was a constant throb in my head that no one could figure out. It was like someone was playing the drums while I had a massive hangover. At first, they feared it was something the vampires implanted, but after a few days I was pretty sure it was a side effect of the ache in my heart from not having Max with me anymore.
“Lucy, you’ve got to relax. Your body is strung tighter than a bow, and holding in all that pent up frustration is draining you of energy.” Cassie handed me a cup of tea while exchanging “what are we going to do” looks with Lola.
“Yeah, why don’t you try to go lie down and see if you feel better in a little bit? We’ll handle this.” Lola took the list out of my hand while Cassie rubbed my back.
I was so sick of them placating me like I was a child. I unclenched my fist to grasp the cup she was handing me. “Are you kidding me with this shit? What am I, four years old? Since when do you of all people know what’s best for me? You have NO clue what I’m going through. You’re little romance with Adam is like a middle school crush compared to what I have with Max so just shut the hell up already.”
Cassie flinched at my words, and I winced realizing what came out of my mouth. I quickly sat the tea cup down and went over to hug her. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m a total bitch and you were trying to help. I have no idea why I even said that. Can you forgive me?”
“It’s okay, sweetie. You’re totally forgiven. We know you’ve not been feeling… well since you came back. But maybe you really should do some yoga or something. I’m afraid this is going to eat you up if you don’t deal with it.” She leaned back and I let go of our embrace.
Cassie took both of my hands in hers. “He is not gone. Say it with me.”
The serious look in her eyes told me she wasn’t kidding, but I couldn’t form any words around the lump in my throat.
“He.Is.Not.Gone. Say it, Lucy.”
I swallowed hard, finding a squeak of a voice, “He…” I couldn’t finish. Lola took my other hand, and I turned to her as she nodded in agreement.
“’Max,’ just say that word,” Lola prompted.
I took a deep breath through my quivering lip. I closed my eyes, and pictured his face. Those ice blue eyes, his chiseled chin, that dimple. “Max,” I breathed.
“Good, now say, ‘Max is not gone.’”
Tears threatened, but I blinked rapidly and willed them away. Tears were for grieving, and I would not grieve him yet. “Max is not gone,” I whispered.
“Again.” Cassie squeezed my fingers in encouragement.
“Max is not gone.”
“Now scream it from the rooftop. Believe it. Feel it.”
“Max is NOT gone!” I bellowed the words glad that we were in the Gideon complex where no one else could hear us. So I screamed it again. “Max is not gone! I will not lose him!”
“That a girl. Now, let’s go find the weasel who betrayed us so we can get your boy back.”
I took a few more minutes to rub my eyes and clear my head, and then I was ready to go forward. Cassie locked elbows with me on one side and Lola on the other, and began skipping out of the complex. It was silly and juvenile, but with the heaviness of my heart, I needed to be carefree for a few moments. Just the up and down of our steps loosened the vice grip that was attached to my heart—even if it only by a millimeter.
As we walked toward the espresso bar in the Commons, I paused and looked down at my list. I had two more people to “plant” information on tonight, and then we’d sit in the debriefing room for most of the night, waiting to see if anyone took the bait. I’d slept maybe two hours a night and was glad that the people on my list were at this location, because I could use a caffeine pick-me-up.
“Hey Lucy!” one of my targets greeted me. His name was Dev, and he’d been a Patronus for about thirty years. Tonight, he was standing behind the counter acting as barista. “You look like you could use one of these, so what’ll it be?”
I plopped on the barstool and rested my hands on my elbows. “Ugh! I’m exhausted. With Max gone on this extended assignment, I’ve been working even more so I don’t miss him as much.” My chest throbbed speaking his name, but the lie was necessary. No one knew what really happened, and as much it pained me to speak the words, I looked for any tells that the man I thought of as a friend was full of it.
“That’s a bummer. Will he be home soon?” Dev asked, beginning to steam the milk for my latte.
“I hope he won’t be gone too much longer.” It was the most honest answer I could give.
“So what have you been up to since he’s been gone? You and Cassie causin’ trouble?”
I laughed flippantly. “Oh, you know us too well. But as much as we’d like to be, we’ve been too busy. I swear, one would think we were flight attendants with our crazy travel schedule, back and forth day after day. Last week alone we hit Tampa, Miami, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, and now tomorrow we’re going back to Mi—” I paused and looked sheepish. “Sorry, I’m not supposed to say where we’re going. James would flip a lid if he found out. You won’t say anything, right?” I gave Dev a small wink.
He finished, drizzling the caramel over the foam and placing a lid on my drink. He leaned closer to me as he handed me the drink. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a word.”
I let out a breath I’d been pretending to hold. “Phew! I owe you one. Thanks again for the drink, Dev. You’re the best!” I hopped off the barstool and walked back to Cassie, who finished having a conversation with another potential spy.
“I really hate this,” Cassie whispered in my ear. “I know I’m going to be heartbroken no matter who it turns out to be.”
“I won’t be shedding any tears for the bastard.”
She pulled on my arm, causing me to stop walking and almost spill my drink. “Oh, I’m not sad about them getting in trouble, I’m sad they would do this at all. That someone we love and trust would betray us.”
“Well, I for one am going to enjoy watching them suffer.”
“Now you’re starting to sound like them, Lucy. You can’t let hate or vengeance rule you. Otherwise, you’re no better than they are.”
We walked out of the Commons, heading back to our Dwellings. I didn’t reply to what she said, instead nodding along. I wanted to agree with her, but I wanted them to suffer, burn and die more. After what they put me, Jessica, and Max through, I wanted to inflict as much pain as possible on them myself.
Fire burned in my gut and through my veins. The throb from my head pounded in my ears and my vision clouded red for a moment. I wanted to go back to my room so I could seethe without Cassie harping on me. I wanted to destroy something, rip something apart with my bare hands to feel lik
e I was doing something—anything.
“Luce—” Cassie turned to me. My eyes wouldn’t focus on her. “You need to hear me, sweetie. You need to take a deep breath. C’mon, let’s go do some yoga.”
I couldn’t say anything, but nodded and let her lead me toward the gym.
*****
“Sixteen more confirmed,” Marco informed us. We’d been up all night, attempting to cross off names on our dwindling list of suspects for the spy. I was exhausted and cranky. Sixteen out of over a hundred was not progress.
“Cassie, I’d like you to lead a mission in the Memphis area,” James explained. “We’ve uncovered information that there may be a coven hiding there. We want to use your new ability to search for their location. Can you—”
“I’m going with her,” I interrupted. If there was a chance that Max or Jessica was there, I needed to be there too.
“No, I’m sorry, Lucy. You’re not attending this one.” James couldn’t look me in the eye as he spoke.
“I have to go. If there’s a chance that he could be there…” My voice trailed off as my emotions caught in my throat.
“We have another role that you need to play. And it’s not in Memphis.”
“Nothing could be as important as getting Max back! Nothing! Are you so fuckin’ hardheaded that you can’t see that? He’s one of your best friends, James. If he’s there, I’ll feel it. I know I will. You will let me go with you or I swear to God I’ll rip you apart! You can’t keep me away from him!”
I screamed so loud, Cassie and Lola both backed up. No one said anything or approached me and I was glad. I knew the first person who tried to “soothe” me or calm me down was going to end up black and blue.
Finally, James nodded once and Adam stood up. “Can you please escort Lucy back to her room? She needs to rest. Lucy, I don’t want you to leave there until I come and talk to you again in a little bit, okay?”
Avenge Page 11