Finding Beauty in the Darkness

by Ash, Nikki

  “What would you like?”

  “Surprise me.”

  He nods and walks not even twenty feet away to get our drinks. I’m watching him stand at the bar ordering our drinks when I feel a hand run down my arm. I jump at the touch, backing up.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I saw you from across the room and had to tell you that you’re simply divine.”

  My eyes roll up to my forehead in my mind, but on the outside, I smile, not knowing if this man is a business associate of Gio’s.

  “Thank you.”

  “My name is Sebastian Lorenzo.” He takes my hand and brings it up to his lips for a kiss. It reminds me of when I met Caesar and he did the same thing, only where Caesar’s approach was playful, this guy comes off as slimy. It takes everything in me not to pull my hand away and wipe his saliva off onto my dress.

  “I’m Aria.” I leave my last name off intentionally. Legally, it’s Hightower-Sutton since my mom had it changed when she married Weston, but I’m planning to have it reverted to her maiden name, Sutton.

  I notice Caesar walking toward us, his cell phone to his ear, but before he gets to us, Gio returns, giving Caesar a slight nod that one wouldn’t notice if not aware of the situation. Caesar nods back and remains in eyesight but several yards back.

  “Sebastian.” Gio hands me my drink, then pulls me closer to his side, tucking me under his arm, either in a show of possessiveness or protectiveness. Either way, it’s much appreciated.

  “Giovanni. I was just acquainting myself with your date.”

  “Aria, I see Amber and Nico over there.” He nods toward them. “Why don’t you go say hello while I speak with Sebastian?” It’s posed as a question, but it’s clearly a command. I smile and agree, leaving the men to do…whatever it is they’re going to do.

  “Hey!” Amber gives me a one-armed hug, since her other hand is holding her drink. “Are you having fun?”

  “Yeah, I guess. If you call watching Gio being hit on by every hot woman in a pair of Louboutin’s, and me getting hit on by some seriously creepy guy.”

  “Who hit on you?” Nico asks, his voice laced with concern.

  “That guy Gio’s talking to.”

  Nico’s gaze follows mine. “Sebastian Lorenzo. Make sure you stay away from him, both of you.”

  “Gladly,” I assure him.

  We stand by the bar, chatting for a while. I’ve finished off the sweet concoction Gio had gotten for me, downed another, and now I’m on my third when Gio makes his way over to us. He comes up next to me, his arm falling over my shoulders. He pulls me toward him and dips his head slightly to place a soft kiss to my temple, making my belly feel like it’s being attacked by an onslaught of butterflies.

  “Yeah?” Nico asks and Gio replies with a small nod. “You ladies ready to go?” Nico looks at Amber then to me for our answer.

  “But we didn’t get to dance.” Amber pouts.

  Nico laughs. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” He takes her hand and pulls her onto the dance floor.

  Gio’s heated gaze meets mine. “Would you like to dance?”

  “I would love to.”

  He pulls me around to face him, his hands going to my hips as mine wrap around his neck. We sway to Aerosmith’s Don’t Want to Miss a Thing, our bodies flush against one another. The lyrics hit me hard, reminding me how much I’ve missed these last several months and how I don’t want to miss any more. I wonder how many people in this moment are making memories with someone they love. Living their life to the fullest. Loving hard and without regrets.

  My head goes to Gio’s chest as we sway to the music. It’s such a simple moment and to most it would be inconsequential, but to me, it’s a moment of peace, a moment I almost wish would last forever. I haven’t felt this kind of serenity in a long time, but here in Gio’s arms, I feel content—like I’m finally ready to move forward with my life.

  “You look exquisite tonight, Ari,” Gio murmurs into my ear.

  I glance up at him and the intensity in his eyes has my stomach twisting into knots.

  “Are you giving me a nickname?” I ask, trying to keep the mood light.

  He smirks. “I figured it was only fitting since you gave me one.”

  I laugh softly and rest my head back against his chest, enjoying the way our bodies move together—feeling the comfort of his heart beating against me.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, needing him to know how thankful I am for what he’s done for me.

  Gio squeezes me tight, his way of acknowledging that he knows I’m not just thanking him for a nickname, but for so much more.

  Our time dancing ends too soon and before I know it, we’re saying our goodbyes and heading back home. Nico insists the limo drops us all off at Gio’s house, assuring us he’ll get Amber home safely. I give her a silent look to make sure she’s okay with that and she gives me one back that conveys she’s more than okay with it.

  When we get back to the house, Gio and I head to his room. I grab a pair of pajamas and go to the bathroom to change. When I come out, he’s standing in his boxers, about to pull on his sweats. It might be the liquid courage in me, but without giving it a second thought, I bridge the gap between us, and stepping up behind him, I wrap my hands around his torso.

  He freezes at my touch, then turns around. “Ari…”

  “I want you,” I say boldly, not wanting to think about or discuss this. I want to have this…have him. With all the craziness in my life, I just want something for me. I want to feel his touch and his warmth surrounding me.

  Holding my gaze, he pushes a lock of hair behind my ear then studies me for a second. His eyes run over my face and down to my lips. He rubs the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip then his eyes flit back to mine, a sad smile gracing his face. “If we have sex, it’d be nothing more than that. Sex. You deserve more. You deserve shit I can’t give you.”

  “I’m not asking for anything more than that.”

  He goes to turn away and I know it’s because he can’t handle the connection between us. I stop him, both of my hands holding onto his arms, needing him to understand. “I haven’t had sex of my own free will in almost a year.” I swallow thickly at my own words, holding back the tears threatening to well up.

  “And it’s still too soon. It’s only been a little over a month since you got here. Since you miscarried your baby.”

  My hands fist at my sides at the rejection, but also at the fact that once again someone’s telling me what I need and how I feel. “I’m aware of how long it’s been,” I grit out. “I know what I’ve lost. I was the one there.”

  “Then you know it’s too soon,” he murmurs.

  “I know it’s my body and my mind and it’s definitely my heart and I get to decide that.”

  Gio rubs his hand over the scruff on his face, but I don’t stop there. Reaching up, I frame his face with my hands, so he gives me his full attention. “When we kissed, I know you felt it too. How good we could be together.”

  “Of course, I did. But then what? We get married and have tons of babies and live happily ever fucking after? That’s your future, not mine.” He backs out of my hands and looks away. His words are cold, devoid of all emotion. They remind me of how he speaks when doing business.

  “Don’t speak to me like that,” I snap. “Your parents are married.” Regardless of how uptight they are, his mom and dad kissed and held hands while we were there. He doesn’t come from a broken home so I don’t get why he’s so anti-relationship.

  “My mom was a whore!” He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “She was a whore in one of the bordellos in Italy. She worked for my father. He took her out of that life and saved her. Sure, her life is better now in many ways, but she also lives with guards around her. Her life is put at risk every day. My grandmother was killed in Italy in a shooting. Is that what you want? To live in fear of being killed every day?” Gio shouts the last question, his temper getting the best of him.


  And now it all makes sense. Him not wanting anything more. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting him. When you’ve been through what I have, you come to realize life’s too short and can end too quickly to live in fear.

  “I think it should be my goddamned choice!” I shout back. “It’s my life! You don’t want me? Fine! But I need to move forward. I need to get a job and earn a living. I need to go back to college! I want my life back!”

  “I can give you whatever you want, Aria!”

  “Except you.” It isn’t a question.

  “Except me,” he confirms.

  “I want to work here.”

  “Fuck no! That’s off the table, so get it out of your head.”

  He pulls his sweatpants up his legs, throws on his shirt, and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. I’m so livid, my hands are shaking. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a panic attack, but I can feel one coming on. I grab my prescription and swallow a pill. Then I get dressed, needing to get the hell out of here.

  I grab my new cell phone Gio bought me the other day and jog down the steps. The place is ghostly quiet and nobody stops me. I keep going out the front door and make my way to the side of the house, to the garage. One of the doors is open and I spot a box hanging on the wall full of keys. I grab a set and click the remote. A beautiful sporty-looking car beeps and I go to it. The car is keyless, so I hold down the brake and press the button to start the car. Looking around the vehicle, I find the garage clicker and press it. The door slides up and I back out, as my phone vibrates in the cup holder.

  I exit down the driveway and through the gate, shocked I haven’t been stopped yet. Once I hit the open road, I press down on the gas pedal, leaving everything behind me. I have no idea where I’m going, but I don’t care. I just drive, turning at random stops, with the music blaring through the speakers. For the first time in a long time, I feel free. Putting the windows down, I enjoy the fresh air, the wind whipping around my hair.

  As I drive, lost in the music and beautiful night, I think about everything that’s happened. My life before getting kidnapped. How naïve I was. All the signs were there. I was just too trusting to put it all together. Weston’s temper, my mom’s willingness to obey his every command. How happy she was when I asked to stay in the dorms even though we didn’t live far from the school campus.

  My mind goes to my relationship with Antonio. It could just be me overthinking things because of the situations as of late, but looking back, I can remember his cryptic text messages and phone calls. I never knew where he lived, never met his family. Sure, we weren’t serious. Most college students aren’t. But we hung out quite a bit and the sex was decent, I think. But I must be missing something for him to think I left willingly…unless maybe he was working for Weston. I shake those thoughts out of my head. It’s all not adding up.

  My thoughts move to Gio. Him saving me and bringing me to his house. My life has changed so much. I’ve been forced to grow up and now I see things in a whole new light. My priorities have changed. I feel all over the place like I’m lost in the dark, my mind and heart running around and bumping up against the walls, trying to find their way.

  I go back to Gio. The way he laughs when it’s just the two of us but is so serious around everyone else. I find myself smiling when I picture him lying in bed, laughing to whatever television show I’m forcing him to watch. Our relationship is different than the one I had with Antonio. It’s comfortable and natural. He says he can’t give me , but doesn’t he realize he already has? He’s already let me in.

  I have no idea how long I’ve been driving or where I’m at, but when blue and red sirens show in my rearview mirror, I have a sinking feeling my freedom is quickly coming to an end. In more ways than one.

  Chapter Fifteen

  GIOVANNI

  I storm out of the room, pissed. Pissed at Aria for wanting me. Pissed at myself for wanting her. Pissed at the world, knowing we could never work. Even more pissed at Cecilia for putting it in Aria’s head that she should work here. I slam my office door behind me and slouch into my chair. I stare at the computer screen for several minutes, not focusing on anything, when there’s a knock on my door.

  “I’m busy!” I growl. The door opens and Johnny walks in. “I said I’m fucking busy.”

  “Too busy to hear that Aria has been pulled over by the police?” Did I just hear him correctly?

  “What the fuck did you just say?” I’m already grabbing my wallet and cell phone and heading out the door.

  “They pulled her over for speeding.”

  I turn around when I hear a hint of laughter in his voice. “And why is this funny?”

  “She was driving your Lambo. Doing over a hundred.” He has the sense to hide his grin. “They pulled up your plate and called me immediately, wanting to let you know. They’re holding her at the station until you can get there.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ!” I get to my garage and sure enough my goddamned Lamborghini is missing. While the car isn’t my most expensive, it’s sure as fuck my favorite. Of course, that’s the car she would steal. I grab the keys to the BMW and jump in as Johnny gets in on the passenger side.

  We ride in silence for the first few minutes until Johnny says, “Cici told me Aria might be working here.”

  “Over my dead body.” It feels like I’ve said that same sentence a dozen damn times in the past twenty-four hours.

  “What do you care?” he challenges. “You’ve said for years you don’t want to settle down. Have you changed your mind?”

  “She’s better than this shit.” I see Johnny shake his head out of the corner of my eye. “What?”

  “You’ve never been ashamed of this life.”

  “And I’m not. But it’s not a life for her. She’s good. She’s been through too much.” And that’s the goddamned truth. Getting to know Aria, there’s so much more to her. She’s the bright in a world full of dark. She sees the good in everything. She’s been through more shit than anyone I know, but it doesn’t bring her down. A weaker person would be in the corner licking her wounds. But not Aria, she chooses to see the roses in a pasture filled with shit. Chooses to stand tall and face the world head on. It’d be so easy for her to play the woe-is-me card, but she doesn’t. She takes what life has thrown at her and moves forward.

  “Speaking of which, before I got the call from the cops, I was coming to tell you we got into the safes. They were exactly where she said they would be. A bunch of papers and contracts. But you won’t believe this. Her birth certificate… The name listed under father: Angelo Moretti.”

  My head jerks toward Johnny, the car jerking as well, but I straighten it out quickly. “The real estate conglomerate from New York?” And then it hits me. “Holy shit.”

  “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “I sure as fuck hope we’re both wrong.”

  “That Aria’s boyfriend being related to the man who was business partners with her alleged father isn’t a coincidence?”

  “How long ago was Angelo killed?”

  “I looked it up. Only eight months before Aria’s mom was killed in the car accident.”

  “If Angelo was Aria’s dad, that would make her his heir if he recognized her as his daughter, which he clearly did according to her birth certificate. She would be worth millions. So where the fuck is all the money?”

  Johnny shrugs. “And that’s the million-dollar question, my friend.” Literally.

  We pull into the police station where I see my two-million-dollar limited edition Lamborghini sitting in a parking spot. Johnny chuckles under his breath as we get out.

  We walk inside and Dan Mills, the chief of police—who is also a member at my club—gratis, of course—greets us and walks us back. “Dan, thank you for calling me before taking any legal action. I can handle it from here.”

  “Sounds good, Giovanni. She’s lucky one of my guys pulled her over, otherwise she’d be behind bars right now for driving r
eckless, and your car would be impounded. She was clocked at doing one-oh-five in a fifty.”

  “I can assure you this won’t happen again.”

  We shake hands and Dan opens the door to the small interrogation room where Aria is sitting with her arms crossed over her chest. Even being faced with reckless driving, she sits there tough as nails, ready to take on the world.

  “Hey Johnny, can you drive the Lambo home? I’ll drive Aria back with me.”

  He agrees and heads back up to the front with Dan. I stand in the doorway for a few seconds watching Aria without saying anything and thinking about my conversation with Johnny in the car on our way over here. Have I changed my mind about wanting to settle down? No. Not until I look at Aria that is, and then as clear as day, I can see an entire future with this woman. Her light shining down on my dark, illuminating my world. But am I going to act on those feelings? No. Aria will never understand this life, and just like her dad stayed away because of the dangers, that’s what I’ll do as well. Locked up in my house, it’s easy to create a bubble for us. But outside those walls is reality, and bringing Aria into my life…my reality, isn’t what’s best for her.

  “Did you have a nice drive?” I ask, stepping into the room.

  “You have a fast car.” She looks up at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

  “No shit. It better be for what it cost. Where were you going in such a rush?”

  Aria shrugs, a solemn tear falling down her cheek. “Trying to run, I guess.”

  I sit across from her. “From what?”

  “My life.”

  “Is it that bad living with me?”

  “No. I just…” She swipes her tears away and stares at the ceiling, trying to keep herself from letting any more fall. She shakes her head back and forth, then looks at me, her eyes filled to the brim. “I just want… fuck! Gio…” She swipes another fallen tear and takes a deep breath. “I just want, for once, to make my own decisions. My entire life has been based on everyone else. I didn’t know my dad by his choice. I didn’t know about him by my mom’s choice. I went to the school Weston insisted on because he was paying. I even had to lie about my major because photography wasn’t an acceptable career goal. My mom made me change my last name. She moved Weston in without asking me.”