by Renee Rose
“Do you think I care about that?” His eyes burn. “I just want to see her live. And thrive. If she chooses you, that does not matter.”
I look away. “Brother, I do not wish to fight.”
Lanz steps up. “None of us will fight, and we all need to replenish. Mirelle, fluids, now. The rest of you, use your crystal enhancers. Mykl, use another lung breathing pack. That’s an order.”
We fall back, obey, eyeing the healing pod as we use our kits. Hektor can’t take his eyes off her, and I should snarl and hold my ground, but I find myself remarkably… unenthusiastic.
Even as I stare at the female I’ve claimed, my thoughts turn back to Kianna. Her scent, the feel of her silky hair between my fingers, her human beauty—different, but no less exquisite. How she helped me get to this very moment. I feel such gratitude for her that I wish she were here so I could look into her eyes and tell her how heroic she was, how special.
In my mind, I kiss her. I imagine how she’ll react, her little moans and whimpers. I remember how soft her skin was. Unlike Zandian skin, which is much firmer and harder. Do Zandian females even enjoy the mix of pain and pleasure that the little soft humans seem to crave? I frown. It’s hard to imagine that they would. Although who knows?
The female stirs. Opens her eyes. Clear brown rimmed with purple. She raises a hand and the dome hisses open.
She sits up, blinks, then stands.
“My name is Alena.” She speaks in Ocretian, then switches, haltingly, to Zandian. As if she barely remembers the words. “I heard Zandia was free, but I didn’t know how to get word to my species. But you found me, anyway.”
She looks at each of us in turn, lingering on Hektor. She gives him a small smile, then turns to me. Her smile fades. She looks into my eyes, determined and steadfast. “You claimed me while you saved me.” She bows her head. “I am grateful for this rescue. I would be honored to be your mate.”
I step forward and take her long, elegant hand in mine. It’s cool and firm, and doesn’t send sparks of arousal down my spine. She’s tall, like me. I sense her quiet strength in the way she stands.
She looks once more at Hektor, then down at the floor. Her shoulders slump.
“I am Mykl. I promise, I will do everything to make your life perfect.” I raise my voice to catch her apparently flagging attention.
She looks up at me, and I stare into those eyes, so similar to mine. I wait to feel a spark of intense recognition, as if our essences are meant to be together. Instead, I note that she has flecks of gold in her irises and that she smells different from Kianna.
I take a breath and squeeze her hands. “Perfect,” I repeat, enunciating, as if saying it more carefully will make it so.
This is everything I wanted. My father’s dying wish, my promise, my legacy. My genes. She’s the one I’ve been waiting for all this time.
Why does it feel so very wrong?
Chapter 8
Kianna
* * *
“I did it.” I’m exuberant, shouting to nobody but myself. Alone in my room, I dance around, whirl. “I did it!”
I heard him start barking commands before the comm cut off, and it was clear that wherever they’re headed—I never know, because missions are classified, I helped him overcome his mental hurdle.
I sit down on my hoverdisk and giggle, full of joy. I’ve never felt so close to him as I did just now, when he’s literally hundreds of thousands of miles away, so far away that without our light-hopping craft, I could never reach him in a million years.
But I was in his head, and he let me in. He let me help him. It was so intimate and fantastic that I shout and whoop again.
And he used the word love.
This is going to change everything, I just know it. I don’t care what he thinks or says about humans—what we just shared was a true bonding experience. He must think differently about me now. He simply must.
I’ll go to him, when he returns. I’ll be there at the landing dock, on the tarmac, and as soon as he gets off that craft, I want to look into his eyes and see if I’m right.
But when I head to the field, prepared to wait for hours, if I need to—something is wrong. Because gathered there are about a hundred beings, all chattering, clustered together.
At first I worry that something is wrong, until I see their faces: Reverent. Excited. Luminant.
The energy is palpable.
“What is it?” My voice is hesitant, because I think I know. Something in the way the Zandians are looking at the sky, all of them together…
“They’re bringing back a Zandian.” I don’t know who tells me, but the words send a knife into my chest. “Female.”
“By the one true star. We knew there must be more out there.”
“This is so amazing!”
Even the humans are excited—all except me, that is. Why wouldn’t they be? We all love Zandia. Who wouldn’t want to find more of our hosts, whose species is nearly extinct, alive in the universe?
Except I know what this means for me. For Mykl. All he’s wanted is a Zandian female, and now he’s getting one—one, that I can’t help but remind myself, I helped him access.
Tears well up in my eyes and I shake my head with a small laugh. What are the odds? It’s almost humorous, in a horrible way.
“When are they arriving?”
“Does anyone know if she’s alive? Injured?”
The crowd is getting louder, but as more beings approach, so does Master Seke and a phalanx of soldiers.
“Clear the field, please,” one of them calls, his voice amplified by his comm. “All beings return to your homes, thank you. We recognize this is exciting, and you will all be updated as soon as we have information. But we need you away from this area for your safety and the well-being of those on the approaching craft.”
Nobody wants to leave; you can see it in the way we drag our feet, looking back at the sky as if we’ll see the flashing lights of the craft if we just look once more.
I don’t go home. I sit and wait in a tree grove just beyond the field. I don’t know if I technically should be here, but nobody else is around, so it hardly matters.
I must have fallen asleep, because I awake suddenly to the roar of the engines, reverse thrusters, and noise on the tarmac.
I stand up, wiping my snarled hair from my eyes, and a trail of drool from my cheek, watching them exit. Mirelle first, thank Mother Earth she’s all right—every time she leaves, I worry. Lanz, Domm. Hektor.
Ground crew swarm around and a medical team is there—I recognize the stiff gait of Dr. Daneth and the softer motions of Bayla. There’s Cressa, too, and a waiting hovercraft with flashing lights—I assume they’re waiting to take the Zandian female immediately to the med bays for care.
I hold my breath.
And it’s then that I see them. Mykl and the Zandian female. She must be injured, because Mykl’s carrying her in his arms.
The beings gathered around cheer and clap, and I tear up too, despite my concerns. She’s beautiful; this I can see, even from a distance. And she’s Zandian. Precious to this planet. Necessary for the survival of their species.
I put a hand to my mouth and stop breathing as Mykl lifts her effortlessly into the medcraft, then steps up. More personnel join them, and this craft zips away, lights flickering in the emergency pattern.
The whole planet buzzes with new energy. Everyone is spreading the news, rejoicing, questioning. Just in time for the crystal solstice, the arrival of a Zandian female signifies a blessing from the stars, from the ancients, from Zandia’s past. It’s a great harbinger for a positive future. Everyone is gathered together in joyful celebration.
Except for me.
I’ve never felt more alone in my life.
Kianna
* * *
“Kee, please look at me.” Mirelle’s voice is pleading. “Just stop. Get away from that vid.”
I flick my finger and the holo volume goes up. “Do you want to train with t
he best? Are you between jobs on Zandia? Come join us on a three-month intensive training course to enhance your combat skills. At the end of the session, you will not only better protect and serve Zandia, but you will have found reserves of strength inside yourself that you never knew existed. Skills that will prepare you for whatever comes next in your life.”
On the screen, human females demonstrate roundhouse kicks. Some of them are shown in a pull-back image flying craft. “These humans, like you, never did anything with flight or combat training. Now they’re ready to take on any task they choose!”
“They don’t say it outright,” I tell Mirelle, “but this training course? It’s for the duds. The ones nobody wants.” I flop back against the bench. We’re alone in the lunch grove, and I’m obsessing about what to do now.
“That’s nonsense.” She reaches past me and snaps at the screen, and the holo disappears.
I speak into my hands. “You know, the older ones, maybe, still strong but past prime childbearing years. The ones who for whatever reason, aren’t right for mating. Keep the poor dears occupied, you know?”
Mirelle crosses her arms. “Laxmi went on that training course, and she met her commanders and now mates, Derrack and Konner, while she was deployed.” She narrows her eyes at me. “They now have twin halflings.”
“One anecdotal example. The rest of us might as well give up now.” I hear a strange sound, sort of a snuffling, a few paces away. Probably one of the Willi birds. I ignore it.
“So because you can’t have the male you want, you’re giving up on life?”
She sits beside me. “Come on. You’re better than that.”
“Tell me about her.” I bite my lip.
She hesitates. But she knows who I mean. “She’s… disoriented.” She shrugs. “It’s hard to say. I’ll know better, we’ll all know her once she is released from med and starts interacting.”
“What happened to her?”
Mirelle shakes her head. “It’s not my story to tell. But what I can tell you is this. She’s been enslaved for years, escaped, then was enslaved again. I don’t think—she’s seen a lot of bad stuff, Kee. It might take her a long time to get past it.”
“What’s she like, though?” I lean forward. “Different from humans. Is she just like the males? The same lack of humor, and the sense of duty, and all of it?”
“Well.” Mirelle thinks. “She’s not been around humans, so she’s not very emotional. Yes, she seems very inclined to follow her honor and commitments. She’s strong, already recovered physically for the most part. Reticent about any feelings she has. She seems… pleasant.”
I nod. “And she… ah… likes… Mykl?”
“He claimed her, Kee. She accepted, right on board the ship. I’m so sorry.”
When I start crying, she grabs me into her arms. “It’s going to be all right.”
“I don’t see how, though.”
Mirelle doesn’t answer, because there is nothing to say. Sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way we want. Sometimes our dreams come true—I was freed from the factory where I was enslaved. I found purpose and benevolence on Zandia. But the dream of a mate who makes my heart race? Well, sometimes, other beings’ dreams are realized instead.
An unpleasant thought occurs to me. “Arc and Bow asked me to accept their crystals right before the crystal solstice. That way we could use the light to celebrate and strengthen our brand new bond.”
“That sounds like a good plan.” Her voice is decidedly neutral. She doesn’t look at me.
I swallow. “I suppose.” I wipe my nose. “Do you hear that? I keep hearing that stupid sound. What is it?”
“I think It’s someone crying.” Mirelle glances around the grove. “Should we go see?”
“Might as well.” I shrug. “The two of us can cry together, like a symphony. Maybe we can compose a new musical piece called The Sounds of Despair and become quite famous.”
“I don’t know if I like your sense of humor when you’re sad.” Mirelle gives me the side-eye. “Very morose.” She steps forward and pushes aside some vines. “Hello? Is anyone here? Are you all right?”
The sniffling stops abruptly. I step forward and see Cressa, with a startled look on her face. Her eyes are as red as the streaks in her hair, and swollen, like she’s been crying for hours. Her nose is red, too.
“What’s wrong?” Mirelle goes forward immediately and Cressa turns away. Her shoulders shake.
“Nothing.” She swipes at her face. “I’m fine.”
“If you are ill? We can help.” Mirelle reaches out a hand.
Cressa pulls her hair back and sighs. “I’m not sick.” Then she whirls and looks at me with such venom that I take a step back. “I’m sad. And angry.”
“Why?” Mirelle starts.
Cressa’s already speaking. “Because at this, of all times! The solstice. To see a beautiful gift wasted, tossed away, it makes me furious.”
“What gift?” Mirelle wrinkles her nose.
But I know what she means. I drop my gaze and look at my shoes.
Cressa adds, “Some of our best and brightest. Zandians who deserve someone who’s loyal and true, who loves them as dearly as life itself.” Her voice quivers and breaks. “And to see it all squandered for nothing? When there are other humans who would give anything, and I mean anything for them? Mother Earth.”
She renews sobbing so hard she can barely breathe.
When the sobs pass, she looks up at me again. “Mykl plans to mate the Zandian female, Kianna.” She shakes her head. “And Arc and Bow plan to mate you during Zandian Lights.” Her voice gets really quiet. “And it appears that you and I may have something in common.”
She stands up, and her tears stop while she looks evenly at me. Now she’s not fierce, but so sad that I want to cry myself. Of course, I wanted to start bawling the second she mentioned Mykl and the female.
“Tomorrow, Kianna. Right before the solstice. Just when you’re having your ceremony, too.” She shakes her head. “Mother Earth.” Then she blows out a breath. “Well, I suppose I’ll get through it.” Her voice is flat. “There’s always the Outlander program.” She snort and walks away.
“That’s the same holo you were watching.” Mirelle pokes me. “You want to be roommates with her?”
When I don’t respond, she says, “I’m sorry. None of this is funny.” She sighs. “Do you have your gown ready for tomorrow?”
I nod. “Apparently. Lorca delivered it.”
She picks a small pink flower from a Jax bush and puts it in my hair.
I bat it away. “Stop. I don’t deserve to be pretty. This isn’t the time.” The bloom floats to the ground.
“These are for strength, Kee.” She picks it up and holds it out on her palm. “Lanz told me. They’re medicinal. Something about helping people relax and getting mental fortitude.”
I roll my eyes. “From a plant?”
She tilts her head. “Why not?”
“Do I eat it?”
“Mother Earth, no. It’s probably poison in its raw form. They distills it down. You can use it, you know, like a symbol.”
“Oh, okay. I love how symbols are so fortifying.” I roll my eyes.
“You weave them into a crown to wear in your hair when you have the mating ceremony.”
She starts plucking more of them. “Come on, help me. You’re going to be the most lovely mate at the festival next planet rotation.”
I blink hard. I can’t possibly follow through with this charade of a mating ceremony with Arc and Bow. But how will I survive on this planet once Mykl and his Zandian female are together? Seeing them everywhere? It’s going to kill me.
I suck back a sob and gather flowers, as if the small blossom can be woven into a lifeline, one I will use to pull myself out of this hell and into a more generous future.
Chapter 9
Mykl
* * *
“You were kept as a pleasure slave for years?” I keep my voice l
ow and even, as to not upset Alena, the female.
“Yes.” Seated beside me in the grotto, she nods. Crystals shine around us. She comes here daily now to soak up sustenance as she continues to heal. I have joined her, and each time we meet, my misgivings grow deeper. Like I’ve made a colossal, unfixable mistake.
“The memories must be painful. Damaging. I will do my best to ensure that your life from henceforth is tranquil.” The breeze blows the gauzy sleeve of her gown onto my arm and I brush it away, because it feels like an insect. I do it carefully, though, so as not to offend her.
She inclines her head. I am not sure if she is agreeing that yes, her memories are difficult, or yes, she would like a smooth cohabitation.
I rub my jaw. “Ah, are you implying yes to the first or the second?”
“Both.”
“I see. Sensible, of course.”
“Yes.”
We sit in silence.
I sneak a glance at her profile. It’s so odd to see a female like myself. It’s like looking in a blurred mirror. Water with ripples. There’s her strong jaw and high forehead. Her bright, seeking eyes. That patrician nose. Her high, small breasts and her long elegant legs. All lean muscle and power. The being I’ve wanted for my entire life. Here she is. It’s critical that I properly appreciate her. I must not waste this opportunity, one any Zandian male would kill to have.
“I, ahem. Young? How do you feel about…” I think about mating her, how her naked body will feel under mine. But all I can imagine is Kianna.
Stars, I must focus.
“It is my duty to Zandia to provide young.” Her voice is prim and even. “I will make it my goal to do so admirably and in a way that will honor our planet. Dr. Daneth removed the contraceptive device and said that I have not been… damaged, in that regard.”