by David Mamet
ROSS: Um, yes …
SECOND GIRL: Well …
The MAN from the yacht leaves his COMPANION, who is wearing a large picture hat, in the BG and comes over to ROSS.
MAN FROM YACHT: I’ll give you a thousand dollars for that camera.
Pause.
ROSS: … what?
MAN FROM YACHT: I’ll give you five thousand dollars if you give me that camera …
ROSS: (Playing to the TWO GIRLS) Well, you know, if it’s important to you, take it… I don’t need your money … take it…
He hands the camera to the MAN from the yacht. The other TWO GIRLS, unsure of what is going on, retreat…
ROSS: Take it. My compliments.
The MAN takes the camera. He and the YOUNG WOMAN in the picture hat move off. ROSS looks at the YOUNG WOMAN as she and the MAN from the yacht move off.
10. EXT. HOTEL VERANDA. DUSK.
ROSS, in new sport coat and trousers, looking very posh, walks. Camera follows him into an open-air bar area. Various wealthy-looking couples and ROSS, who seats himself at the bar and looks at his watch. He looks around the bar, anticipatorily.
SUSAN: (VO) … a very hush-hush “secret” development, but I’m so low down the Food Chain …
ROSS turns to see SUSAN, in an angle of the bar, talking with a WOMAN in her late twenties. SUSAN turns to ROSS.
SUSAN: Oh. Hello, Joe. I was just…
ROSS: (Instructing her) Yeah, we’re Secret Agents down here, superrich and powerful, re-forming the world. And full of priceless Information.
WOMAN AT THE BAR: … everybody on vacation’s got a story, innit…?
ROSS: That’s right. Everybody likes to Feel Important. (He looks meaningfully at SUSAN. TO the WOMAN at the bar) And what do you do …?
WOMAN AT THE BAR: Me …? I’m with the FBI.
They all laugh. The WOMAN at the bar excuses herself and moves off.
Pause.
SUSAN: I shoul’na said anything.… not that I know anything … you’re right. You’re right.… you know what I have? A Secretary Mentality. That’s what I have.
ROSS is scanning the bar. He sees LANG enter and gets up from his stool at the bar.
ROSS: No, that’s right, Susan, it might be a good idea if you were to …
SUSAN: Not that anyone tells me anything, I’m here to Fetch and Carry.
ROSS: Would you excuse me?
He walks over to LANG.
LANG: (Of SUSAN) Somebody’s gotta crush on you.
ROSS: Would you explain what’s wrong with me?
LANG: Ain’t nothing wrong with you. I’m going to tell you something: your ship comes in, and it has come in, you’re going to be whisking ’em away like flies. Just like Flies. Nice shirt.
ROSS: … my ship comes in.
LANG: Your ship has come in. They can twist and squirm, but the Company owes you So Big …
ROSS: … and if they don’t pay …?
LANG: Well: Alright: Nobody likes to part with money. But here’s what I think:
His eyes light up. The two YOUNG WOMEN from, the tennis court show up, in evening dresses. LANG, followed by ROSS, detaches himself from the bar and proceeds toward them. LANG introduces himself to a YOUNG WOMAN and is about to present the other to ROSS when a YOUNG MAN in U.S. naval officer’s dress whites appears and is obviously the SECOND WOMAN’s escort. ROSS bows himself out and moves away. In the BG we see LANG gesture “Tough luck.” ROSS starts back toward the bar. He is about to sit when he sees SUSAN advancing on the bar, and he starts to slip away from her. In the BG we see KLEIN and his table of BUSINESSMEN. KLEIN waves desultorily toward ROSS. ROSS nods back. He picks up a cigar from a humidor at the end of the bar and gestures at the BARMAN, “Write it down.”
11. EXT. TENNIS COURTS. NIGHT.
ROSS lighting his cigar. He turns and looks down the hill at the yacht moored in the lagoon.
MAN ON YACHT: (VO) Y’interested in Tennis …?
ROSS turns to see the MAN ON THE YACHT.
ROSS: Play a little. Never had too much time for it.
MAN ON YACHT: Well, that’s the whole problem with the whole thing, isn’t it? Man said: It’s alright when your hobbies get in the way of your work, but when they start to get in the way of each other … (He laughs to himself.) My little sister plays tennis. (Pause) Alternate on the Olympic Team … waaal, alright, what I want to say is “thank you.” (Pause) I was wrong today.
ROSS starts to interrupt.
MAN ON YACHT: I was wrong to offer you money, and … and I appreciate your gesture, and I am in your debt. Thank you. (He offers his hand.)
ROSS: Glad to help.
Two young JAPANESE WOMEN in kimonos walk by, laughing. ROSS looks at them. The MAN ON THE YACHT remarks ROSS watching.
MAN ON YACHT: Lovely Romantic Spot.
The WOMEN walk up to two MEN, obviously their husbands.
MAN ON YACHT: Everybody comes down here in Pairs. If you would like to meet some people … um. Tomorrow night, if you’d like to come on the boat…
He gestures at his yacht.
ROSS: Oh. That’s very kind. I’ve got to be back in New York tomorrow …
MAN ON YACHT: (Nods) My name is Julian Dell, by the way.
ROSS: (Extending his hand) Joseph Ross.
They shake hands. The two start to stroll off.
DISSOLVE TO:
12. EXT. HOTEL TERRACE. DAWN.
TWO MEN seated, their coats over the backs of the chairs. An empty bottle and two glasses on a table between them, as they look out over the yacht. The helicopter is now gone.
JIMMY: (As he gestures at the walkway, where he and the YOUNG WOMAN were photographed) … a “princess” … she’s a “princess,” you might say that the title means nothing, as the “country” hardly exists anymore. But perhaps it means something …
ROSS: I think it means something.
JIMMY: (Pause) I do, too.
Pause.
ROSS: … and … she’s (searching for an answer) she’s underage …?
JIMMY: Waal, she’s married. And she’s married to a friend of mine, and I’m a cad and a rotter, so I saw you with the camera … (He gestures to the yacht.) D’you want to come back and get some breakfast on the … no, they’ll all still be ashore …
A WAITER passes by.
JIMMY: Excuse me … excuse me … could we get a pot of coffee, do you think …?
ROSS: … what happened to the Princess?
JIMMY: What happened to her? Well, she was, of course, never here, so we had to whisk her back to her Husband.
He gestures at the yacht, makes a “helicopter” gesture. As they look out, a young COUPLE walks, arms around each other, down the beach.
JIMMY: That’s the trouble with these spots, eh? Everyone comes down in pairs…
ROSS: That’s true.
JIMMY: Well, I know it’s true—but I tell you what: come out to the rowboat for dinner tonight, and I’ll … No, y’re going back to New York. Why’re you going back to New York …?
ROSS: Got to Pay the Rent.
JIMMY: Ha. (Pause) My sister says: “They only want me for my money …” I tell her, Praise God and Thank your Lucky Stars. ’F yo’re going to let it control you … what’s the point of it? Which is why, by the way, she always ends up with Fortune Hunters … oh—Tell you a story. Fellow came to me, a proposition, said, “I need a half hour of your time, and it will make you (He picks a figure out of the air.) fifty million dollars.” I said, Fifty million dollars, a half hour. That’s one hundred million for an hour, that’s four billion a week, that’s two hundred billion a year, assuming I would take a two-week vacation. He said: ’f you were making that much a week, you couldn’t afford to take a vacation …
As they are laughing, LANG, after what was obviously a hard night, staggers past. He stops and looks at the two. Beat.
LANG: … good morning.
ROSS: George Lang, Julian Dell.
LANG: … fella with the Boat.
JIMMY: That’s ri
ght.
LANG: A pleasure … (He continues off.) Nice boat…
JIMMY gets up, stretches, looks around, looks out at his yacht.
JIMMY: Fella said, We must never forget that we are Human. And, as humans, we must dream. And when we dream … we dream of money … (He looks out at his yacht and shakes his head.) Money: Impresses everybody, what did it ever do for one?
ROSS: … useful if you want to buy things.
JIMMY: (Nods. Pause) … some people … (Pause) It makes them frightened. (To himself)… makes ’em frightened to leave the house … my sister…
ROSS: Is she Young and Pretty?
JIMMY: … she’s the closest thing to my heart in the World. (He recollects himself.) Oh, yes, I think she’d qualify as Young and Pretty … waaaaallll … going to take a walk. Want to take a walk …?
ROSS: Bedtime for me.
JIMMY: Well, then, perhaps, we’ll meet back in New York. Got a card …?
ROSS hands him a card. JIMMY puts it in his pocket.
JIMMY: Pleasure, Joe.
ROSS: Jimmy …
They shake hands.
JIMMY: Lovely gesture of yours, giving me that camera back … (Pause) You impress me, sir.
He hesitates, as if he wants to say more, then moves off. ROSS props up his feet. The WAITER arrives with coffee. ROSS takes out a cigar. The WAITER lights it, and ROSS looks out, contentedly, at the lagoon and the yacht, and puffs on his cigar.
DISSOLVE TO:
13. EXT. HOTEL. DAY.
A van, a pile of luggage. SUSAN being walked out of the reception area by a concierge. She holds the yellow file boxes.
SUSAN: … bills to the Main Office, and all personal and incidental items, as we spoke of—(She gestures, meaning “Put them on the tab.”)
ROSS: (VO) They work you pretty hard.
SUSAN: They work us all hard—Good to have a job.
ROSS comes into the shot.
SUSAN: (Looking at her list) Well, now I know they are high on you. They even told me to pick up your Local Calls.
ROSS passing through the shot.
ROSS: Wish I’d have been a different kind of guy.
SUSAN: What would you have done?
ROSS: I’d of Gone Hog Wild on the Company, and stolen a Bathrobe.
He turns and walks backwards while talking to her, and he bumps into KLEIN.
KLEIN: … the group expressed some anxiety about Insider Trading, and …
ROSS: Mr. Klein, I’m not about to indulge in Insider …
KLEIN: … just mention it as a matter of …
ROSS: No, sir, I understan—
LANG moves past the group, obviously hungover, and gets into the airport van.
ROSS: Would you excuse me, sir …?
KLEIN: No, I’ll see you back in New York.
14. INT. AIRPORT VAN. DAY.
ROSS sits down next to LANG.
LANG: Don’t talk to me.
ROSS: What’d you do …?
LANG: … took me to a Casino … stayed up drinking, oh, my Lord … (He clutches his head. He feels in an inside pocket. Extracts a wad of cash.) What’d you do …?
ROSS: Actually I had a rather interesting …
LANG hands a wad of cash to ROSS.
ROSS: What’s this?
LANG: We’re partners. You said we were partners—“Split the Adventure Part.” Passu—here’s your half—
ROSS: I don’t want it.
LANG: (Of the cash) … give it to Charity.
He closes his eyes. ROSS spots something. He gets off the van to help SUSAN, who is loading bags into the trunk.
SUSAN: Thank you. Do you know, you are a real gentleman.
ROSS sees something over her shoulder.
ROSS: Would you excuse me a moment?
ANGLE, ROSS’S POV.
Running up from the pier, JIMMY, waving for ROSS to stop. ROSS moves away from KLEIN and down the steps to JIMMY.
JIMMY: Hey, look here. You’re going back to New York, might I ask you a service …?
He hands a small wrapped parcel to ROSS.
ROSS: Certainly.
JIMMY: Could you drop this off for my sister …? (Points to the address) Mrs. DaSilva. At the San Remo.
ROSS: … pleasure.
JIMMY: You don’t mind …?
ROSS: Glad to do it.
JIMMY: Do you know, I’ve got to be in New York Friday. Are you free?
ROSS: … I …
JIMMY: We’ll have dinner. Are you free?
ROSS: Of course.
JIMMY: I’ll call you. (He takes ROSS’s card out of his pocket, and waves it.)
ROSS: I’ll look forward to it.
JIMMY: (Waving good-bye)
The limo van honks.
JIMMY: Friday …
ROSS turns and runs back toward the limo van.
15. INT. JAMAICA AIRPORT. DAY.
A sign reads, “First-Class Passengers.” ROSS and LANG are standing in line. LANG, very hungover, eyes closed. They move forward, and ROSS, out of the corner of his eye, sees SUSAN, weighted down by her packages, struggling through the economy line. As he watches, the “FBI” WOMAN from the bar comes up to her. They greet each other, the FBI WOMAN hands SUSAN a business card, and they shake hands. SUSAN picks up her packages and struggles forward.
TICKET AGENT: (VO) May I help you, sir …?
ANGLE.
ROSS comes forward, takes out LANG’S ticket, takes out his own ticket, and, with it, takes out the wad of cash LANG gave him.
ROSS: … do you have any more room in First Class …?
ANGLE.
ROSS looks back at SUSAN, who is struggling in line. He beckons to her, and she starts over to the First-Class line.
16. INT. AIRPORT. SECURITY AREA. DAY.
SUSAN, LANG, and ROSS. SUSAN goes through the metal detector, and as she does turns back to talk to ROSS.
SUSAN: … this is so generous of you …
The metal detector goes off as SUSAN walks through it.
SECURITY PERSON: … I’m sorry, miss … (She points at SUSAN.)
SUSAN: … the Camera …?
SECURITY PERSON: … just put it on the belt…
Camera moves onto a sign that reads: “Have you packed your own bags? Have they been out of your sight? Are you carrying a package for someone you don’t know …?” In front of the sign are LANG and ROSS. LANG wakes up to the beeping.
LANG: … somebody said, “Nobody going on a business trip would’ve been missed if he didn’t arrive …”
SECURITY PERSON: (In BG. To SUSAN) … no, ma’am, it won’t hurt the film …
ANGLE. FROM BEHIND THE SECURITY COUNTER.
We see the camera, going through the metal detector, on its television screen, and SUSAN, and the TWO MEN, as they pass through the detector.
17. INT. PLANE. DAY.
The THREE, coming into the First-Class cabin. LANG flops into a seat.
SUSAN: (To ROSS) I was just concerned, I didn’t want to lose the film …
A STEWARDESS comes up to check SUSAN’S ticket.
SUSAN: (To ROSS) … you know, this is so nice of you, really … (She shows her ticket.) And they told me I even get to keep my return ticket. Use it any time … not that I’m likely to get back here, but…
ANGLE, INS.
The ticket reads, “New York to Jamaica Open.” A STEWARDESS comes up to SUSAN, obviously doubting that she belongs in the First-Class cabin.
STEWARDESS: … may I see your ticket, miss …?
SUSAN: No, I know you wouldn’t think it, but this gentleman arranged for me to sit here with the quality. (She shows her ticket, and she sits next to ROSS.) Shows to go you. Y’never know who anybody is …
ROSS nods. He takes out some papers from his briefcase and the package, which we see is addressed: “Mrs. A. DaSilva. San Remo. New York.” He puts the package back into his briefcase and begins to work on his papers.
SUSAN: Never know who anybody is. That girl, said she was with the F
BI… guess what she does …?
STEWARDESS: (On the intercom) Ladies and gentlemen, we will be departing shortly, would you please check to see that… (Etc.)
SUSAN: (Hands a card to ROSS) She is with the FBI. Ha. He takes the card, reads: “Special Agent Pat McCune. Federal Bureau of Investigation,” etc.
ROSS: Funny old world.
SUSAN: Funny Old World? Dog my Cats?
ROSS: Dog my Cats, indeed.
DISSOLVE TO:
18. INT. PLANE. DAY.
The plane in flight. ROSS coming back from the front service area with a glass of champagne. Passes by SUSAN, who is staring at the FBI card.
SUSAN: … y’never know who anybody is. With the exception of me. I am what I look like. (Pause) Why is that, Mr. Ross …?
ROSS: I think you look just fine.
SUSAN: No. Anybody could be Anybody, mysterious, or … take that guy who got off the yacht. Alright? Take him.
ROSS: What about him …?
SUSAN: What about him, who was he?
ROSS: Uh. I don’t know … he was a fellow got off a yacht.
SUSAN: Just my point. Just my point. We think he was a fellow got off a yacht.
ROSS: You can’t go through life mistrusting everybody—you mistrust everybody?
SUSAN: No. Just strangers …
ROSS: But we saw him get off the yacht.
SUSAN: We did not. We saw him in a boat that came from the direction of the yacht.
ROSS: I saw him get off the yacht.
SUSAN: Waaall … (She pats her camera.) I got a picture, took a picture of you, and he’s in the background, and I believe you’ll see, I can’t say I’m sure, but I think you’ll see the boat just came around, from the direction of the yacht. And we have no idea who anyone is … (Pause) ’cept me …
STEWARDESS, coming down the aisle, distributing cards.
STEWARDESS: We will be landing in New York shortly. You are required to fill out a customs form, and immigration form. Non—United States Citizens …
LANG wakes painfully to the STEWARDESS’S speech. He takes a card. He beckons ROSS over.
LANG: … I think I’m getting the flu. (Sotto) I’m taking in some Cuban cigars. You? Did you? Where’d you hide ’em …?
ROSS moves away from him, back to SUSAN, who is filling out her card and continuing in her speech.
SUSAN: Like they say at the airport: Did Anyone Give You a Package, did you, uh … did you leave your …