by Debbie Flint
‘Would you?’ she said, panting. ‘Is that what you would have done?’
‘Yes.’
In that moment, Sadie resigned herself to the fact that her last memories of Mac would be similar to her first.
‘What else?’
‘I would have done this, and you wouldn’t have stopped me.’ And he teased her lips slowly apart, pulling them upwards so that her nub became exposed. He kissed it, tenderly, as if it was her mouth. Soooo tenderly. She groaned in earnest. He did it so slowly, so skilfully she thought she would burst. Then he curved a trail around her hot centre with his tongue, then pulled it into his mouth.
‘Oh God, and I wouldn’t have been able to stop you,’ she groaned.
‘No you wouldn’t.’ And with that he slid his two fingers inside her, and she bucked beneath him, as he resumed kissing and sucking her at the same time.
And suddenly he was bringing her to the peak again, and she was rising and rising, then suddenly falling over the top into an abyss of amazing light, and sensation, and then darkness. Her panting slowed slightly and she opened her eyes and saw him looking at her face, and her body.
‘But then what?’ he asked. Sadie couldn’t speak, so she just smiled. ‘Well, I can’t pretend I wouldn’t have done this,’ and he rose up and started to undo his belt.
‘Oh, yes,’ she said, reaching up to help him free himself, ‘and maybe, accidentally, I’d have let you do this.’ She pulled him out of his trousers and sat herself up before him on the bed. ‘Oops … But most importantly I would definitely, absolutely, never have done this,’ and she kissed the very tip of him and slid out her tongue to circle him.
‘Oh, Sadie,’ he groaned. ‘Oh my God.’ And he tried to make her stop.
‘Hands behind your back this time. This time, it’s all about you.’
‘Oh … God.’
And with that, she ran her tongue down to the base one side and back up the other side, and then took him fully into her mouth – a deep long stroke that had him touching the back of her throat, in and out, in and out. Then she took him in her hand and stroked up and down, providing a tightness at the base as her tongue and mouth provided a soft cavern, caressing him at the tip. Over and over again, she swapped between sucking him in deep and teasing him with her tongue. He bucked beneath her deeper and deeper until suddenly he withdrew, before it was too late. She grabbed him again and sucked.
‘But – ohhhh – you see, I don’t … think I could have stopped you,’ he whispered huskily, moving his hips back and forth against her mouth. ‘Because it wouldn’t have been long before ultimately,’ he said, kneeling up, and pushing down his trousers, with her hands helping him, ‘I did this.’
He leaned down over her till the edge of him was touching the edge of her. He looked into her eyes and she nodded. And then, slowly, slowly, without taking his eyes from hers, he moved inside her. Deeper and deeper. He was huge. Her groan was as deep as he was within her.
With him fully inside, she took his two hands above her head, his chest lowering down onto hers, their stomachs making contact, and he rubbed his chest slightly against her body. He groaned, so she opened her legs wider still, then brought them up vertically either side of his hips, so his penetration was even deeper.
‘Well, I’m afraid – there would only be – one outcome …’ and with that his pace increased faster and faster until she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming out with pleasure. Higher and higher she climbed, and then he was losing all control, making love to her like his life depended upon it, until they fell back down to earth together in the most incredible, emotional, irreplaceable ecstasy.
And silence.
There was just silence.
They’d done the inevitable, but now what? More silence.
Sadie bit her tongue – never had ‘I love you’ been such a gamble. It felt like she should say it. The words were all she could think of. But she couldn’t take the risk. Everything they’d just done pointed towards a declaration of love – never had it felt so right.
Do what you think is right Sadie … do what you think is right.
So Sadie did what Sadie always did. She gave the guy an out. Would he take it?
‘Well, good job we didn’t actually end up having a second night then,’ she said.
Always the one to make light of it, pave the pathway for a hasty retreat.
Mac didn’t react at first. Then she heard him sigh, felt him move, watched him pull up his trousers. She felt a bit strange, watching him as he looked around the room. She couldn’t breathe. What’s he going to say next?
Mac noted her luggage again. Her words resounded in his head. He looked over at her and past her, caught sight of the picture of her daughters on the bedside table. Her chin was moving gradually into that proud Sadie pose, and it all pointed to one thing. He felt a resolve stirring inside him.
‘You were ready to go then?’
‘Go home, yes. Of course. That’s what I was told to do,’ she replied.
‘Is that what you want?’
‘Of course it’s not what I want! I want the fairy tale. I’m “that girl”, remember? The type you can’t deal with.’
Mac bit his lip. Had he made a mistake? Is she brushing him off?
‘Sadie, there’s another reason I came to say goodbye.’
‘Goodbye – so you did come to say goodbye?’ she asked.
‘Yes, but—’
‘’Course you did. Of course. Okay.’ The chin went higher. ‘Well, what was the other reason?’
Mac saw a flicker of emotion enter her eyes, but just as quickly it disappeared again and she smiled.
She’s smiling.
‘Well, Mac? What might that be?’ She sat up, pulling her robe protectively back across her. Covering up. In more ways than one? he wondered. Oh, well, here goes.
‘I wanted to let you know, I’ve been thinking about you and your … situation. And I’ve arranged with Simon to cover your expenses, your time in coming here. It’s only a few thousand pounds, but it’ll hit your bank account in the next day or so. Whatever happens with Tremain. It may help.’
‘And why would you do that?’ she asked, visibly starting to bristle. ‘That was never part of the deal.’
‘Well, if you must know, it was Simon’s suggestion. He said it would be “pertinent and proper to help to reimburse the opportunity cost of Ms Turner’s time away from her business”, or something like that. You know Simon and his big words. Think of it as costs.’
‘As long as you aren’t thinking of it as “services rendered”.’ There was an edge to her voice. Mac frowned.
‘Sadie don’t be stupid. I never have and I never will. With anyone – least of all you.’
‘I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse,’ she said, feeling a churning anger in her stomach. ‘You wouldn’t have sex with me when it was business and you thought you could make money out of me. And now there’s no deal, it should be pleasure and yet you’re trying to pay me. It certainly feels like services rendered.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Tell me what this really meant to you,’ she cried.
And there it was, right there. The challenge. I hate it when this happens he thought. Mac looked at her and paused. His breath was ragged, his face flushed and he opened his mouth to speak, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.
‘I’m saying this to help you, Sadie. To help us both move on.’
He moved back to kneel before her, looked at that proud face, tears threatening to fall at any moment, but her chin still held high.
No, he just couldn’t do it to her. Couldn’t risk hurting her.
So he spoke the words she probably hoped not to hear. Practised words. Words he’d said many times before. Words that
came far too easily from his mouth.
‘I’m not a good bet – I’m never going to make anyone a good husband. I’m one of those guys that loves being single. So, no romance for me. I love the fact that if I want to go to Cuba today – or Paris, or the Antarctic – I just bowl up at the airport and buy a ticket. No bags, all I need is my passport. Is that bad? I guess I’m selfish, or maybe I’m just honest. Oh, I flirt. Oh, I make love. Oh, I do dinners and walks and sleepovers … and all that gooey stuff, but only with people who know where they stand with me. Not that I’ve made any offers recently … You understand, Sadie?’
Then he paused, and looked expectantly and somewhat sheepishly up into her eyes. And smiled his default smile – the one that never quite reached his eyes. It was kinder this way. She didn’t deserve any less.
So this is it then.
Sadie’s heart was yearning to allow the tears to flow, but she kept a poker face to rival the best she’d ever seen Mac make.
‘Great monologue. Scripted – almost rehearsed. Guess you’ve said that a few times before.’
‘Sadie, here’s the thing. I love being in control of my own life. I just do. Been single too long – that’s who I am. And I don’t think I can ever change.’
Sadie didn’t move. Her smile plastered on her face. ‘Well, if you think you can’t, then you won’t.’
‘Sadie, I’m sorry.’
‘Me too, Mac, me too,’ she said. ‘So I guess that makes us equal.’
‘What do you mean?’ He looked confused.
‘We’re two peas in a pod, you and me. I’m on a man ban, remember? So, no harm done. Now go. Go back to your superboat, or whatever—’
‘Superyacht.’
‘Or whatever. Go back to your Ironman, and to your single life.’ She paused. Oh, what the hell. ‘But one day, just one day, don’t turn up on my door saying you got it wrong, ’cos if you do, you’d better bring a handwritten retraction to that stupid, rehearsed, clichéd monologue you just gave me. A retraction in fountain pen, in triplicate, ’cos if I am the girl for you, believe me, buster, this is your moment. And there ain’t gonna be another one. Not like this one. Not ever again.’
Mac seemed to hesitate. Sadie breathed deeply and slowly, to ward away the palpitations threatening to make her faint. But to no avail, because, with a final sigh he pulled himself together, stood up and kissed Sadie on the forehead. She pulled away.
‘Goodbye and good luck, Sadie Samantha Businesswoman.’
Sadie held her head high. The least she could do was keep it amicable. So she saw him to the door.
‘Bye, Mac.’
And he was gone.
In his place, standing at the door, was her steak dinner. Sadie held it together just long enough for the waiter to place her room service on her bed. And as the latch closed behind her, the floodgates opened.
Out in the corridor, Mac didn’t know what to do with himself or where to go. So he set off as fast as he could away from her room before he changed his mind. But after several paces, he stopped, stood still like a statue and took a few strides back the other way. Then seeing the waiter coming out of the room, he turned back for the last time and headed for the lifts.
He made a quick call to his valet, instructing him to have his belongings shipped back home. Wherever that would be – this week, next week – always somewhere different. It was time for the next Ironman – then he’d find another event, and another, on the other side of the world from where Sadie was, if he knew what was good for him. It was what he knew best. It was all he knew.
Besides, he didn’t even own a fountain pen.
Then Mac the billionaire made straight for a chauffeured limousine and the nearest airport, wanting in that moment to get out of town as fast as possible.
Chapter Sixteen
Sadie sat in her room feeling numb, just staring at the tousled bedclothes, and feeling very, very used. Feeling dejected. Feeling … old.
The tears had fallen, and then finally run out of steam as she realised Mac was right. He was living the life of a playboy, being single suited him. How could a playboy billionaire ever want to be with a small-town single mother of two feisty teenage girls, with a hippy grandma in tow, and a barely-solvent health food store to run.
Different league.
Different world.
Different life.
But that life must go on. If there’s one thing Sadie had learned from her years of being let down by men, it was that.
Or ‘Morgen ist auch ein tag’ according to Georgia’s last homework. A huge pang of missing home flooded her body. And that’s when the crying began again in earnest. Only this time, it was for lost opportunities, missed moments and ‘if only’s’. And for the slap-in-the-face reminder that, in this life at least, she was destined to be on her own.
Ah, well – c’est la vie.
She looked down and realised that Mac had left his socks behind when he speedily fled her room. She smiled and threw them in the trash bin.
Twenty minutes later, Sadie was sitting on her bed, feeling empty. She’d been busying herself with a copy of the latest scientific research to arrive from the UK, but decided to call it a day after re-reading the same paragraph for the ninth time. Now she was just staring at her feet, more specifically her right foot and even more specifically, at Mac’s sock. On her right foot. Retrieved from the bin – just the one, mind.
Wearing one of his socks is allowable, it’s wearing both of them that’s sad, she told herself.
Her phone made a noise, making her jump, and a text popped up on the screen, snapping Sadie back to the present.
From Simon. She read it aloud.
I do hope you will accept our offer of recompense for your time and troubles. And you should still explore the offer from the dark side, aka the Tremain Group. Let me know if you would appreciate my assistance with anything, even if merely to ascertain whether Peter Galloway’s promises are more than idle. Call me if you need anything. S.
It made Sadie feel a bit better. If he put it like that, she didn’t mind accepting the ‘recompense’. From Simon. When he put it like that.
At least she knew there would be something to keep them ticking over when she got back, even for a short time. She had a feeling that Peter’s promises would turn out to be so idle, they were virtually stationary. So she wasn’t holding out much hope. She texted back.
Thanks, Simon. But Peter made it clear that if he was in charge, my value went down. Thanks for caring.
Will give it some thought.
SST.
Ps thanks for the offer to reimburse me. Gratefully accepted. x
She added the ‘kiss’ at the end, then deleted it, then added it again and pressed send. The trip won’t have been totally in vain if she could at least pay some bills when she got back.
Sadie began to re-pack her things for the final time, mulling over the reactions of all those people in her past who had doubted her. She’d so wanted to see their faces when she told them about having landed the big one. Oh, how close she’d come to the big one.
At least she had the award. And she’d had an adventure. But she also had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She picked up her pumps – the ones he’d bought her – at least she liked to think it was him, not flaming Alexis bitch-face. She shrugged then threw them in the bin. Then she tried to fold a particularly fiddly blouse, then gave up and screwed it into a ball, shoving it in her case and sat on the bed. She took some deep breaths. Everything was changing again, and it was happening so fast. She went to look out of the window at the amazing gardens once more. Bright, vibrant colours, and when she opened the window a little, the most amazingly fresh air filled her lungs. This magical island, with all its scenery and waterfalls and views. And she’d only had the chance to walk r
ound one garden and she’d be going home again.
It had been only a few hours since she last heard there would only be one offer coming her way – from the slimeball that was Peter Galloway. But an offer was an offer. And with Simon to help her … Hmmm.
Galvanized by the text, Sadie decided it was time to talk to the devil. But there was no answer on the number he had given her, and when she rang the front desk, no one knew how to find him at this time of night.
He was no doubt holed up somewhere right now, meeting with Tremain, and deciding how to split up Bill’s empire. But where exactly would she fit in now? She had to get some answers, and not only from Peter Galloway.
Sadie’s nagging feelings were often grounded in truth, and as she relived her words to Mac earlier on, plus what she’d picked up today, an awful realisation began to dawn on her. I wonder… Sadie did a little more research on the notion that had just occurred to her, then a call to the lab followed by another to the hospital confirmed her suspicions and a massive penny suddenly dropped.
Oh my God, thought Sadie.
She knew exactly what she had to do.
Simon wasn’t responding, so she left a message with him. Then, after pondering for a while, she decided that yes, she would send just one last text to Mac, just in case she caught him in time. It was losing face a little, and taking a risk, considering how he’d made their parting so final. But what the hell. It was now or never.
Then she set off for a date with her destiny.
The lift down to the hotel lobby couldn’t go fast enough, and Sadie rubbed her stomach. There was a lurching feeling inside her and she knew it wasn’t hunger. It was that same feeling you get when you lose your diary, or your hard drive crashes with all your family photos on it. Or when the doors close in front of you and you’re one minute too late for the last train home. It was time to take the biggest chance of her life. After all, she knew what she was doing. She had confidence in herself even if it felt like no one else did.