“I've just had a call from one of my managers in New York,” he continued. “He said there are a few problems back there that need to be sorted out and wants to know when I’ll be coming back.”
She could see the indecision in her father’s eyes. There was no way he would leave her if he felt she still needed him. If she asked, her parents would probably stay here indefinitely, but she knew that wasn’t fair to them. They had a business to run, and even though they were in their early sixties there was no danger of them slowing down anytime soon.
She took her father’s hand and gently ran her fingers over the faint blue lines of his veins running through his tanned skin.
“Dad, the last three weeks of you being here have been amazing. You know I miss you and mum every day and I wish you lived closer. But I understand you have a business to run and I wouldn’t want to keep you from that. I’m doing a lot better now, the counselling is helping, and Carrie and Holly have been wonderful. There’s nothing more you can do for me here that you can’t do from over there. We can Skype and email and obviously we have the phone. I’ll be fine. I don’t want your business collapsing just because I’m clingy and emotionally unstable. You should go.”
“Meredith, there is no way we can leave you just yet. You’re not well enough.”
“Dad, there’s nothing physically wrong with me anymore. Yes, I have some scars on the outside and I’m still underweight, but my issues are on the inside, and as much as you would like to, you can’t help me with that. Only I can sort that out, and I am.”
Her dad didn’t speak, he just looked at her the way he always did, eyes full of warmth and love. He moved closer on the couch and opened his arms and she didn’t hesitate to move into them. He held her tight and she inhaled the smell of his cologne, committing it to memory. She felt his tears on her neck and she couldn’t help but shed a few of her own.
“It’s okay, Dad. I love you. Thank you for being here.”
They sat together for a long while, neither one speaking, just enjoying being together after all the hardships that had befallen Meredith recently.
She turned to her dad and asked, “When do you leave?”
“I can probably get us on a flight tomorrow.”
Meredith nodded.
“You make sure you call us at any time if you need anything. Your mother won’t leave unless she knows she can trust you to keep in touch. We don’t want you to be in pain anymore and if you’re going to sit here on your own without speaking to anybody, she won’t go.”
“I promise, Dad. Please don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be silly, of course we worry. And what’s with Kathleen not being here?”
“Please, Dad, I don’t want to talk about Kathleen.”
He looked away and gave a firm nod. He seemed to understand there were some things Meredith would never talk to him about, and her relationship with Kathleen was one of them.
The key turning in the lock made them both turn toward the door as her mother walked in carrying nothing except her handbag.
“Mum, you've been gone three hours and you haven’t bought anything?” Meredith chuckled.
“There was nothing that I fancied, dear. And besides, I enjoy looking.”
Meredith looked back to her dad and they both shared a conspiratorial smile.
Chapter Twelve
“So, how does it feel to be thirty?” Fiona asked.
“About the same as twenty-nine did.” Stephanie looked across the small oak dining table at her friend and smiled.
They were sitting in Joe and Fiona’s dining room having just finished eating a lovely roast cooked by Fiona. She was an excellent cook, and any opportunity Stephanie had to sample her food, she took it.
Fiona and Joe had been married for twelve years and were high school sweethearts. Stephanie had only ever known them together and they always seemed so in love and so happy. She could not remember a time when Joe had ever said anything bad about Fiona or mentioned that they had argued. They were the perfect couple.
Joe entered the room, having just taken the plates to the kitchen. He sat down and topped off their glasses with the deep-plum Rioja Stephanie had brought with her. She could still smell the roast lamb in the air, and coupled with the wine, the odours sent Stephanie’s senses into overdrive. The tastes and aromas were a very pleasing combination.
“You sure you wouldn’t prefer to go out?” Joe asked her.
“Nah, I told you, this is exactly what I want. We’re always in the pub. It’s nice to have a civilised meal, with beautiful company.” She smiled at Fiona and winked.
“Stop hitting on my wife.”
Fiona was a beautiful woman; her honey golden hair was braided into a French twist. Her blue eyes were always warm and caring, and she had the sweetest smile. Joe was a very lucky man.
“I wouldn’t stand a chance, Joe, not with you around.”
A stab of loneliness hit her square in the chest as she witnessed the look of admiration Joe directed at Fiona, and Fiona’s answering blush. Ever since speaking with Meredith on the phone the other week, Stephanie found herself more aware of her emotions. She didn’t like it. Never had she had to put up with feelings like jealousy, loneliness, and wistfulness. On more than one occasion she would be busy at work and suddenly, these random feelings would hit her. Usually they were accompanied by a picture of Meredith in her mind. She found she was looking forward to seeing her again, she couldn’t wait. A small grin crossed her face when she realised she would be seeing her in less than thirty-six hours.
“What’s that look for?” Joe asked.
“Sorry, just thinking.”
She debated whether to tell Joe and Fiona about her plans for the coming weekend. She’d already asked Joe for some time off and she had sidestepped his question about why she needed it, saying it was for personal reasons. He hadn’t questioned her further and she assumed he probably thought it was due to the kidnapping. She glanced at them, back and forth, and decided to tell them the truth. They were her friends, the only ones she had, and they would be supportive of her, she knew it.
“Actually, there is something you might want to know. Friday afternoon I will be catching the train down to Bristol.” At their raised eyebrows she continued. “I'm going down there for a few days to spend some time with Meredith.”
Joe frowned at her and she could see him trying to decipher who Meredith was. She knew the exact time he realised it, his eyes went wide, his mouth forming the shape of an O.
“Who is Meredith?” Fiona asked.
Joe found his voice and said, “Meredith is the woman who was locked up with Stephanie.”
Fiona’s gaze darted from her husband and back to her. She knew she looked guilty. She didn’t know why, she wasn’t doing anything wrong, but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to look her friends in the eye.
“I know it probably seems weird to you, but she’s having a hard time, and we kind of miss each other.”
“Stephanie,” Fiona said, “it’s not that it's weird, it’s just, how can I put it? I guess really the question is why?”
Stephanie considered her understanding blue eyes. Fiona placed a hand on top of hers, giving it a slight squeeze, silently asking her to continue. She shrugged and shook her head slightly.
“I can’t really speak for Meredith, but for me, something happened inside that room.” She glared at Joe when he snorted. “Obviously I’m not referring to the bad stuff that happened.” She looked back to Fiona. “We were together for five weeks, and in that time, we talked. A lot. I liked her and she was the first person I can recall who has gotten past my defences. You and Joe are my family, and of course I love you both, but somehow, she’s managed to bring out feelings in me I never thought capable of feeling. I don’t know if that’s because of what happened to me when we were there, or because of who she is, but this is something I need to figure out. I can’t stop thinking about her and wondering if she’s okay. I’m a
little adrift here. I’ve never had so many thoughts and feelings happen to me before.”
“Do you think this is an attachment to her because of what happened?” Fiona asked.
“I don’t know, you could be right. The only thing I know for sure is that I need to see her. She wants to see me too.”
She could feel Joe's eyes boring into her. He clearly couldn’t hold his silence any more.
“What?”
He shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m sorry, Steph, but I don’t think seeing her is the best thing for you, or her. You went through some terrible things together and maybe seeing each other isn’t the wisest thing to do. If she’s having as hard a time as you say, do you really think seeing you would be good for her? It could cause all kinds of flashbacks and panic attacks.”
He was right, this was a bad idea, but she had no choice, she needed to see her.
“I understand what you’re saying, Joe, but this is something I need to do. Moreover, I want to do this.”
Fiona stood and came around to her side of the table. She took her hands and tugged, pulling her up.
She hugged Stephanie close. “Do what you need to do, we are here if you need us.”
Stephanie sighed, relieved that she had at least Fiona’s support. She broke the embrace and looked at Joe, who was still sitting at the table, arms folded with a scowl on his face.
“I don’t agree with this, Steph, but Fiona is right. You are my best friend and when this all goes wrong, and it will go wrong, we’ll be here.”
Stephanie nodded, understanding Joe’s reservations, but immensely pleased he still supported her. She sat back down and took a large gulp from her glass. Friday evening couldn’t come soon enough.
†
Meredith pushed the shopping trolley down the vegetable aisle of the local supermarket. It was early Friday afternoon and Stephanie would be arriving later that night. She wasn’t sure what Stephanie had in mind for her visit, but Meredith wanted to at least cook her a birthday meal. The only problem was she had no idea what kind of foods Stephanie liked. She had been wandering around for the best part of an hour now, and so far, all she had in her trolley was a dozen eggs, a tin of peaches, and some fresh basil. What she thought she was going to cook with those ingredients, she had no idea.
She put down the fresh cauliflower she held in her hand and took her phone out of her pocket. She should call Stephanie and ask what she liked, but she wanted it to be a surprise. So instead she dialled Carrie’s number. Her friend answered on the third ring.
“Hey, Mare, how are things?”
“Everything is going well. It’s been nice having the house to myself since my parents left. Obviously, I miss them, but it’s been good to get back to a quasi-routine.”
Meredith had filled her days with seeing her counsellor and working on some projects for work. Getting back into a routine had helped with her anxiety and she felt better within herself.
“I do need your help with something though.” She had not yet told Carrie of Stephanie’s impending visit. She idly wondered if doing it now, in the middle of the supermarket, would be a wise thing to do. “Stephanie is coming down from York tonight and it’s her birthday. I want to cook her a surprise meal but have no idea what she likes.”
Carrie cleared her throat and Meredith’s heart rate sped up. If she wasn’t careful, she would be having a panic attack in the middle of the vegetables.
“I think there are some things you have neglected to tell me, Meredith, in the last few times we’ve spoken. As soon as she leaves, whenever that is, you need to call me and I will come around to see you. We need to have a talk.”
Meredith sighed, realising she had made a mistake. Carrie was her friend and she should have confided in her. She was about to apologise when Carrie continued.
“Don’t sweat it for now, but we will need to talk about this. As for what to cook? I assume as it’s a surprise you don’t want to ask her what it is that she likes, I would just suggest buying a takeaway. You could still do whatever it is you plan to do with table settings and such, and then just have her pick what takes her fancy.”
“Yes, I think you’re right.” She walked over to the wine aisle and began perusing the Chiantis and Pinot Noirs. “I’m sorry I haven't mentioned her visit to you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. We have been emailing back and forth and talking over the last few weeks. We find we have some things in common. I think we both want to check on each other, make sure we’re okay.” She put two bottles of red in her trolley and took out the few items she had selected for the meal, plonking them on a nearby shelf.
“It’s fine, I promise. But we do need to have a talk when I see you next.”
“Thank you, Carrie. I’m not sure how to explain this, but I’m looking forward to seeing her.”
“What time is she arriving? And how does Kathleen feel about this?”
Meredith bit her lip, wincing when she realised she hadn’t told Carrie about her separation from Kathleen or about Kathleen’s cheating. This was another berating she would likely receive from Carrie.
“Kathleen doesn’t know she’s coming. In fact, I haven’t spoken with Kathleen for a couple of weeks. We’ve sort of gone on a break.”
“What?”
Meredith could hear the hurt and confusion in Carrie’s voice, and she felt like the worst friend ever.
“What is going on with you, Meredith? I know you have gone through a lot of stuff recently, but surely you could have spoken to me about this. I could have helped you.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right, and I promise I will make it up to you. A lot is going on and I just didn’t want to deal with it.”
“I need to go, I have a call waiting. Call me when she leaves.”
Carrie disconnected without saying goodbye, and Meredith was disgusted with herself for hurting her best friend. She stood in line at the checkout and a burly man joined the queue behind her. He stood a little too close for her liking and she felt her palms start to sweat. She could feel her adrenaline pumping through her veins and wished the checkout operator would hurry up. She glanced over her shoulder and, for just a second, she thought she recognised the eyes of Jameson West.
She quickly paid for her purchases and rushed for the exit.
She got inside the car she had newly leased, slammed and locked the door, and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Her breathing was coming in short gasps and she couldn't settle her heart rate. Clearly, she wasn’t as adjusted to being outside as she thought. She started to count out loud, trying to control her breaths, and concentrated on the exercises her counsellor had given her. She needed to get this under control. She would not have a panic attack in the middle of the car park.
Chapter Thirteen
Stephanie stood outside the nondescript door of Meredith’s top floor apartment. It was eight-thirty at night and she had spent the last few hours on the train and in a taxi to get here. She was tired but excited to be seeing Meredith again. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few moments later, Meredith stood in front of her, smiling widely, making the skin around her eyes crinkle. Stephanie was mesmerised. Meredith wore loose linen trousers and a pale green tank top, which complemented the red curls brushing her shoulders. She had put on weight in the weeks since Stephanie had seen her, and her skin had lost the deathly pallor she had in the hospital. She looked vibrant and healthy.
“Hi,” Meredith said.
“Hi.”
They stood looking at each other and Stephanie didn’t know how to proceed. Meredith saved her wondering as she opened the door wider and pulled her into a hug. Stephanie’s arms came around the smaller woman and she inhaled the sweet citrus aroma of her hair.
“It is so good to see you,” Stephanie whispered.
Meredith stood back from her, and after grasping her hand, pulled her into her home. She took in all the details on her way through, impressed by Meredith’s choice of decor. It had th
e feeling of comfort and cosiness but was big enough in size to not feel crowded. Meredith kept pulling her along until she stopped in a mid-sized room which was decorated in a similar fashion to the rest of the apartment, complete with double bed, small wardrobe, and dresser.
Meredith turned to regard her, and Stephanie lost herself in the magnetic blue eyes. She didn’t know what was happening, she didn’t recognize the tightening of her stomach or why she felt hotter than normal, nor the unfathomable reason why her palms were sweating. Stephanie was captivated by her beauty and she thanked God that Meredith had made it out safely.
“I know we didn’t discuss where you would be staying,” Meredith said, “but I just assumed you would stay here.”
She motioned around the room and Stephanie could not help but smile at Meredith’s apparent nervousness. She could see a faint tremble in her body and the blush that highlighted her cheeks.
“This is fine, thank you.” She took the rucksack off her back and placed it at the foot of the bed. She stretched her back muscles and was dismayed when she felt a yawn happening. She blushed. “Sorry, it’s been a long journey.”
“That’s okay.” Meredith grabbed her hand again leading her back into the lounge. “Please, take a seat.”
Stephanie did as asked watching as Meredith went over to the fireplace. There was a small package sitting on top wrapped in pink paper. Meredith picked it up and brought it back to where she sat. She held out the gift.
“Happy birthday!”
Stephanie took the package, her eyes wide. She never expected to receive anything. Her birthday was three days ago, and she had just assumed Meredith would have no reason to buy her a gift.
“You didn’t need to do this.” Seeing Meredith’s smile fade and the excitement in her eyes dim, she added, “but thank you. This is very thoughtful of you.”
Meredith sat down next to her.
“It’s not much, just a little something.”
Stephanie began to unwrap the gift and noticed Meredith fidgeting in her seat, her nerves now palpable. She placed a hand on her thigh and was pleased when she stilled. She was stunned when she unwrapped the gift. Lying on a small velvet pillow was a black thong necklace with a compass charm attached to it. She ran her finger over the design and looked up at Meredith.
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