by Leena Maria
"Sky is the next word..."
This time I did not bother writing the dream interpretation anymore, but just wrote down the other words. "Sky" revealed the sentence "These are not merely stories – these worlds really exist".
I felt goose bumps rising on my arms. There was a hidden message in the book, and the handwritten dream was the key to it. You had to read the words in the right order to get the message.
I could not stop now. Mechanically I reached for a chocolate and wrote down what the word "fighting" would add to the story. "There are many who have found their way to the other realities and many who would want to find the way."
I did not notice the time passing, Sentence by sentence the odd story appeared in my notebook.
"So keep this book hidden, and do not speak of it to others else you put yourself in danger. These Unseen Worlds are all around us. We can live there in our physical bodies, and we travel through them when it is our time to leave our earthly existence. Sometimes it is possible to make contact with those who have already died, though this is not easy for our lack of the finer senses needed for such contact.
"There have always been people who can contact the other side, usually through years of study. Some are naturals. And frequently these people are labelled mad, swindlers, or servants of the devil. And there have certainly been plenty of swindlers taking advantage of the grief of others, pretending to be mediums. But there are also those who can see and hear the souls of those who have passed."
My eyes were glued to the dream book and my notes.
"The afterlife exists, and there is a buffer zone between our physical world, and the afterlife. People can reach this buffer zone in their sleep. Some people learn to wake themselves up when they are in this buffer zone. This is called lucid dreaming. It is a skill that can be learned, but usually it only lasts a few seconds.
"And this is also the level to which those that have gone before can return with relative ease. Here they try to communicate with their sleeping loved ones, and this results in vivid dreams where we meet with our departed ones. Our finer senses are awake when our earthly senses are asleep, and can make it possible for us to remember those dreams, usually a few moments after we wake up, and before our analytical mind explains the dreams away as wishful thinking."
I threw the blanket aside, got up and took Kitty's letter from between the pages of the dictionary where I had hidden it, and read what she had written about Darryl. And the other thing she had written about... where was it... there: "Maybe I'll drop a book for you to read - that would get your attention, bookworm that you are. Yes, I just might contact you through a book. I cannot tell you what it is, because I have to keep its secret, and someone other than you might find this letter. Still, it has to do with dreams. You will understand what I mean when the time comes."
When I read these words, my skin turned to goose bumps. Had Kitty got this very book too? If so, from whom? Would that explain her great interest in what happened after death? Suddenly I remembered my dream from the night Kitty died, the one where she was fetched by an angel... and how she had given him what looked like a book... Now it was not only my skin that was all over goose pimples - I felt my hair standing up on end, too.
"What is not known is that there are openings into this buffer zone from the physical world. If someone manages to train their mind to keep awake, they can come and go to and from this zone freely, using these gates. They can only reach their own level, which is dictated by their energies. This means there are very dark and heavy places there, created by dark minds, as well as lighter ones. The deeper a person goes into the buffer zone, the less time has an effect on them. Whoever stays there doesn't grow any older, even when time is passing in the physical world. "
I was beginning to wonder about the modern terms used in this book. Exactly how old were the expressions "buffer zone", "analytical mind" or "lucid dreaming"? Much more modern than this little book's appearance. The next sentence answered this question.
"This book was written in the beginning of the twentieth century, so that it could travel through time to pass on the word of the gates to those people throughout history who might help. So we have continued to look for them from the future, studying history to find them, and giving them this book to read. We have other methods to reach those who lived before this book was printed. We need people of different times to work with us. "
To work with whom? To help in what? Help whom? And what did the writer mean by "visiting them in the past?" Time travel? It had to be time travel... but time travel was not possible. My eyes were now glued to the old, brown pages. Their condition at least revealed this book had travelled a long way in time.
"Unfortunately the knowledge of the gates has spread. Now these gates are being sought by those who should not be allowed to find them. And unfortunately there are ways to enter the buffer zone without the gates, though humans cannot do it on their own. Still, with some help, many have found their way there. They use the buffer zone for evil purposes - and they stay practically immortal within it, building their own kingdom there, deep inside the zone. They call this place the City of Immortals. The inhabitants of this place cause havoc in the human world when they visit it in their shadow form. We have learned they have other aspirations as well, much worse than simply finding riches and power in the past. To find them and to stop them, we need a group of helpers. These people are carefully chosen."
I was beginning not to like what I read. What was it that the "humans cannot do.... on their own" and what did "when they visit it in their shadow form" mean? What the heck was this book trying to say? It felt more and more like the ramblings of a madman.
"Also you should know that not all who die go into the lighter levels of the afterlife. They are the ones who have done horrible deeds to others, and as a result their energies are so low they would have difficulties in moving any higher even if they wanted to.
"Some of these dark souls like to stay near the physical world, and feed on people's fears. These would be the ghosts. Being in contact with human fears helps them stay in their own, lower energy worlds, because human thoughts are energy. Negative and positive thoughts are real things in the buffer zone; physical, mouldable material. And those who live in the buffer zone, on the lowest levels of the Unseen Worlds, have built their worlds from these energies. If their world begins to thin out, they go to the human world, and cause fear, and take that energy and rebuild their domain."
OK, this was officially beyond strange. Whoever wrote this need not fear I would ever quote any of this to an outsider. I'd end up in a padded cell in no time. But I realized I could no longer stop reading, either. Mechanically, I took another chocolate, but I couldn't really taste it any more.
"These souls, together with the living people of the City of Immortals and their shadows, are the source of the ghost-, vampire-, werewolf and evil spirit-stories. The shadows can go anywhere they want to, with no need to use the gates; they can come into the human world, and then vanish back before they are caught. Humans cannot do this unaided. No one is safe from these shadows, not as long as they can freely walk through the borderline between the human world and the buffer zone."
Oh great - I had been a very scared young girl, believing in ghosts and vampires, and it had been a huge job for Mom to make me unbelieve in them. It wasn't that long ago that I'd stopped using a night-light. And now this... odd book told me I had been right all along? That those horrible creatures actually existed?? And to make it even worse - there was no way I could be safe from them?
"And now to the reason you are holding this book: It contains information on how you can find a gate to the Unseen Worlds. You need to find it on your own, following a trail of clues, to gain permanent right and skills to walk through the gates. And you have been considered able to do this by someone who has travelled that path. Someone, who trusts you have the qualities to do the work.
"You are invited to join us, if you know how to follow the cl
ues, and find your way to us. It is essential that you don't reveal this knowledge to anyone, as that could lead the "Immortals" directly to us. So far, because of the differences in our energies, we have managed to stay hidden from them in the buffer zone. But they do know we exist. Our fight against their shadow world has made us their enemy. Nothing would be more important to them than to find the gates we use in the physical world we all share, so they could walk freely between our world and the buffer zone.
"The name of the person who told us about you is written on the back pages of this book. Check that before deciding if you want to continue."
I sighed. I knew. And when I saw Kitty's signature as the last one in a long list of names on the empty pages at the end of the book, I was not surprised.
"If you accept the invitation, follow the next advice to see what happens."
It was night already, and just as when I was a child and had read a book that was too exciting, I just wanted to feel secure, and sleep without nightmares. So I decided I'd return to the book again when it was daylight.
For a brief moment I considered finding my old night light from the cupboard, but then decided against it. I folded back the bedside lamp, drew the blanket up to my ears, and closed my eyes, hoping I could fall asleep.
CHAPTER NINE
9. Shadow in the Garden
That night I had a vivid dream. So vivid, it was almost as though I was awake.
I was standing in a beautiful garden. When I looked around I realized it was the garden around our house, but it was as if all the flowers that had ever grown there were blooming at the same time. There were thousands of flowers in the most glowing colors – much more vibrant than I ever remembered seeing them. The house had almost vanished in their midst. It was like something out of a Disney film.
I felt someone approaching and turned around.
It was Kitty. She was visible only from the waist up, but it was her. When she moved it seemed as though she was wearing the garden as her dress – the flowers followed her movement, flowing with her like an evening gown. As she moved through the scenery, the garden became a supernatural fabric that fitted to her and revealed her form. If you have ever seen photographs or videos where scenery is projected onto a living person, you'll get the idea.
She was almost exactly the Kitty I had known, only somehow... clearer. Her colors were bright, but translucent.
"Kitty!" I shouted with joy, "you are alive!"
She said something but there was no sound. I concentrated, bending closer so that I could listen better. Her lips moved but I heard nothing. Also it seemed as though she was constantly falling backwards away from me. The only way I can describe it was that it was like having vertigo, I can't explain it better than that.
"I can't hear you!" I said, frustrated.
She stopped talking. She was not looking happy, nor was she smiling like she always did. She looked at me and closed her eyes. She stood there, and then opened her eyes. She pointed at her eyes, then closed them again, and I understood. I closed my eyes too. I felt drowsiness take me and I began to fall, but in a strange way, I heard her. I didn't hear her words with my normal hearing – instead I got them, if you can imagine it, like a ball of thoughts straight into my mind, and when I concentrated on the "ball" it opened and I simply knew the words, without hearing them. Again I just can't convey this in any other way.
"Beware of the shadow." I felt roses falling down around me and somehow they were important. They were like the white roses that grew under my window.
I woke up with a jolt.
It was still night.
I knew I had really met Kitty. If the old book was right, I had been there, in the buffer zone, in my dream state. And Kitty had come to meet me. To warn me of a shadow. What shadow? And what were those roses about?
I thought I heard something outside. The slightest of sounds. I would not have paid attention to it, but then I saw Nugget. He was sitting on my bed and all the hairs on his coat were standing up. He was growling very quietly, every muscle tensed.
I felt a spasm of panic, as all my childhood fears reared their ugly heads. The shadows hiding, trying to catch me... It took all my courage to get out of bed. I moved very quietly and took my bathrobe from the back of my chair. I had socks on, so I could move quietly. I knew all the creaking floorboards – the house and I had grown up together. Instead of stepping I slid my feet forward like walking on thin ice.
I slid across the floor avoiding the creaky boards, and got to the door without a noise. The door handle was another thing – if you just pushed it down swiftly, the lock made clicking noises.
I must have spent an eternity pushing the door handle down ever so slowly. But I did make it out of my room without making a sound. Then I had to stand there in the darkness and let the handle rise just as slowly as I had pushed it down. It took forever.
I went past Grandma's room and into the living room. I made myself slide into the shadows next to the window, though the darkness there set my nerves tingling and pulse racing, and very slowly inched myself so that I could see into the garden.
And there it was. The shadow. I did not notice it at first, because everything was so peaceful and quiet. There was no wind, and that is what revealed it to me – the rosebush under my window was shivering. It was not a very dense bush – it hadn't been pruned properly, and as a result it had grown veritable trunks that did not have too many leaves near the ground. Because of this, you could usually see the white wall through it, but now you could not. Something was blocking the wall from being seen.
Nugget had followed me with stiff legs, his back arched, and his tail thick. Now he stood on the arm rest of the couch right next to the window, hissing. He licked his lips nervously, and started to growl.
"Shut up!" I said to Nugget quietly, but if you have ever tried to control an infuriated cat, you'll know they don't take orders. The electricity coming off his coat was almost visible. I know that if I'd touched him, there'd have been a snap of static.
And of course the shadow reacted to the image of the cat clearly visible through the window. I saw the shadow move and pressed myself against the living room wall, hoping I could not be seen from outside. I stood on tiptoe so my feet would not be visible.
From the corner of my eye I glimpsed something very dark glide past the window. I could not see anything clearly, but I thought that it moved like an animal, on all fours. I did not see any glowing eyes or anything fit for a horror movie, but this something was certainly not like any animal I had ever seen. It stood up on its hind legs, and that's when it almost looked half human. I felt terror rising up my spine.
Nugget's voice was turning into a wail, and soon he would give that horrible scream cats do, when they chase something out of their territory. He'd wake the entire household.
"What is it?" I heard Grandma's whisper.
"Something in the garden..." I whispered back.
Suddenly Nugget calmed down. He stood for a while and stared into the garden. His bushy tail slowly returned to normal. Then he jumped down from the sofa and ran to the kitchen. Obviously the shadowy animal was gone. I saw the wall behind the rosebush again.
"Did you see what it was?" Grandma asked.
She appeared surprisingly elegant considering she had just woken up. Her hair should have been a mess, but no. She looked like she'd just returned from a hairdresser's appointment. Did she sleep standing up? Or use a neck-rest like the ancient Egyptians so that her head never touched the bed?
"No. Some shadowy figure."
Much to my surprise Grandma froze. I could see her figure against the light of the summer night showing through the kitchen window across the hall, and her slight movement stopped as abruptly as though she'd walked into a wall.
"Shadow?" Her voice revealed no emotion, which was in odd contrast to her stiff posture.
"Yes. It was funny, really. I had a dream about Kitty and she warned me about shadows. Or a shadow, to be exact. I could not sle
ep after that and came to get some water from the kitchen," I lied, "and then I saw Nugget hissing at something."
Grandma remained quiet for a while.
"Oh well, it was probably a stray dog or something like that. Better go back to bed now that it has gone," she shrugged eventually and turned to walk back to her bedroom.
I was absolutely certain she was lying. You know when someone you know well is playing a role. Grandma was too careful to appear as though she was no longer interested in the subject. She knew something about that shadow. She knew about Kitty as well – it was she who had said Kitty would try to contact me, without knowing about Kitty's letter. The strange book warned about... horrible creatures. Kitty had then warned me about a shadow, and suddenly a shadow was lurking under my window. Too many events were falling into place as parts of the same puzzle.
But I couldn't ask Grandma now. Our conversation would wake up my parents.
I walked back to my bedroom and closed the door. I would ask her when we were alone.
I could not sleep anymore, so after tossing and turning a while, I put the bedside lamp on, picked up the small book and continued reading.
CHAPTER TEN
10. The Book's Secret
It took some courage to start reading the book again. I mean seriously: imagine exactly how you would feel if someone threw you a book and said "Here! Read this and learn how to go to the realm of the dead". Dead as in deceased. Dearly departed. Who - or rather what - would you expect to meet?
And I could never even watch horror movies, because my imagination was way too active. My idea of the dead was pretty close to the creatures in Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Did I even want to reach that realm? Before Kitty's death, no, definitely not. But now... I missed her so much that I knew my curiosity was growing to see if I could contact her again, for real, not just through some mysterious hints. Especially after that night's dream, and seeing the shadowy creature. Yes, it had scared me out of my wits, but it also confirmed for me that the message of the book and the dream were real.