by Radclyffe
Derian sat on a bench just inside the park, arms stretched out along the top, a slow smile on her face. Emily took a second to steady herself before walking over to her. If she let her heart lead the way, she’d be racing. And she didn’t want to be wrong, couldn’t bear to be wrong.
“Hello, Derian. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I got your message. Sorry I missed your call. I wanted to say thank you.”
Emily laughed softly, teetering on the brink of fleeing and touching her. Derian was really there, in the flesh, of course she was. “Most people would’ve just called me back.”
“I did.” Derian tilted her head to meet Emily’s eyes. She looked tired, smudges under her eyes, and so incredibly beautiful. “You weren’t at the agency.”
Emily gestured to the bench. “May I?”
“Yes.”
Emily sat and immediately felt the tips of Derian’s fingers touch the back of her shoulder. Even through her jacket, the contact was electric. Familiar heat rushed through her. Oh yes, she was real all right. “I’m on vacation.”
“I know, Ron told me.”
“He didn’t know where I was staying.”
“Monica—my travel agent—is a wizard. Hope you don’t mind me showing up.”
“No, of course not.” Of course not? How about, Oh my God, I’ve been so miserable since the moment you left. Can you just please not move for about a century. “I thought you were in Rio in the midst of business and…whatnot.”
“I’m done with whatnot.” Derian slipped her fingers from cotton to the bare skin at Emily’s nape. She couldn’t resist touching her any longer. The connection was like coming home, and the coiled tension inside her unwound and faded away. The ache that had tormented her for days dissolved in the welcome in Emily’s eyes. “I had to see you. I missed you.”
Emily’s breath caught. “Derian.”
“Emily…” Derian leaned closer and kissed her. “I made a mess of things the last time we talked.”
Emily slid her hand onto Derian’s leg, stroked up and down her denim-clad thigh. “No, you didn’t. Well, maybe, but so did I. I know you were only trying to help. That’s why I called, to thank—”
“No, no.” Derian grimaced impatiently. “I was, trying to help, I mean, but that’s not really what was going on. You were right about that.”
“No, I wasn’t.” Emily needed her to believe this. “I meant what I said on the phone. I know you’re not your father, and I know you weren’t trying to use me to get back at him.”
“Thank you. I need you to believe that.”
“I do.” Emily sighed. “How long are you here for?”
“Until you get tired of me.”
The words pierced with the sweet blade of hope Emily couldn’t allow herself. “I have another ten days.”
“My reservation at the hotel is open-ended.”
“You’re staying here?”
“Yes. But if you don’t want to see me, I’ll leave.”
Emily cupped Derian’s cheek. How could she even think that? “Of course I want to see you. I hope…I hope at least we’re friends.”
Derian turned Emily’s hand over and kissed her palm. “I don’t want to be your friend, Emily.” She met Emily’s gaze. “I want to be your lover.”
Emily summoned every ounce of will. Derian was going to break her heart, and she’d never recover. “I can’t, Derian. I—”
“You really aren’t going to tell me it’s because of the business, are you?”
Emily shook her head. No more time for hiding the truth. “No, it’s not that. I—”
Derian gave an impatient growl and, still holding Emily’s hand, slid gracefully onto her knees in front of Emily.
A few people passing by paused to stare.
“Derian, what are you doing?”
“What I should’ve done before.”
Derian’s eyes gleamed and sent Emily’s heart racing.
“I love you,” Derian said, her voice strong and pure. “I want to be your lover and your mate, your friend and your spouse. I want you to marry me, Emily. Will you?”
Emily’s heart said yes, oh yes, yes. The words would not come out. Derian was watching her, clear-eyed and intense. “I wasn’t expecting this.” She laughed shakily. “I might need a few minutes.”
“How about you think about it over dinner? Long enough?”
“I love you,” Emily said, unwilling to let Derian be the only one taking a chance. “I have for a long time.”
Derian grinned. “Me too.”
“I’m just not sure about all the rest.”
“That’s okay. I am.”
Emily laughed. “You can get up off your knees now.”
“I like it here.”
Emily freed her hand from Derian’s grasp and framed Derian’s face. Leaning over, she gave her a proper kiss, slow and deep, that helped fill the emptiness she’d been carrying inside her since the moment Derian walked out of her apartment. When she drew back she whispered, “I love you.”
Derian somehow managed to flow to her feet and pull Emily up with her, catching her in the circle of her arms. “Tell me we can have dinner in my room and you’ll think about being mine.”
“Yes, all right,” Emily said, “I’ll think about it.”
Derian kissed her and murmured in her ear, “Tell me again you love me.”
“I love you,” Emily whispered.
*
“I never want to live without room service.” Derian tightened her hold around Emily’s middle and kissed the back of her neck.
Emily wiggled her rear a little tighter into the curve of Derian’s hips, found her hand, and drew it to her lips for a kiss. “Did we eat?”
Derian chuckled. “Not yet. But we can whenever we want.”
“I don’t ever want to move.”
“Then we don’t have to. There’s nowhere else I want to be.” Or anything else she’d rather be doing. Lying with Emily, loving Emily, filled her with quiet contentment and excitement that never relented. “You’re everything I want, and I want you endlessly.”
“I’m so glad.” Emily gave a little groan, rolled onto her back, and pulled Derian’s head down to kiss her again. “I love being yours.”
Derian leaned on an elbow and stroked Emily’s warm, pliant body. She couldn’t stop touching. Couldn’t get enough of her. Knew she never would. “Are you? Mine?”
“I am.” Emily’s smile was small and, for just a second, a little sad.
Derian’s middle clenched. “Does that make you unhappy?”
Light leapt in Emily’s eyes. “Oh no. Never, not for a second.”
“But there’s something, isn’t there?”
Emily laughed, a little tremor in her voice. “I’m just being me. I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”
Derian frowned. “Where am I going?”
Emily grinned, the sadness vanishing in the face of so much joy. She had fallen in love with a woman who lived on the edge. She would cope. “Oh, you know, race cars, fancy casinos, and…all of that.”
“There is no more all of that, only you.” Derian pushed up on the bed and pulled Emily into her arms. “Clearly, I have not done a good job of this proposal business.”
“You did a perfectly wonderful job. I will never forget you, on your knees in the park, or the things you said.”
“Good, because I meant all of them.” Derian brushed Emily’s hair from her neck, kissed the tender spot below her ear, drew her in. Emily’s scent flooded her with the essence of belonging. “You’re the only woman in the world I want, the only thing I need. I love you. I need you, I need to be with you.”
“Derian…” Emily put her lips to Derian’s throat where she could feel her pulse race, taste the life and power of her, bask in the preciousness of being so close. “I love you too, with all my heart. And I want you to be happy. I want you to live the life you want to live, and it’s not back in—”
“It’s with you, Emily. Where you a
re, that’s where my life is.”
Emily swallowed hard, wishing that little logical part of her brain would shut up and let her just believe in this fairy tale. But she loved Derian too much to let her give up the things that mattered to her. “I’ll always be there for you, I promise. I’m a one-woman woman, and you have my heart.”
“Then why don’t you believe that you are my heart?”
“I would like nothing better than to go to sleep with you every night and wake up next to you every day,” Emily said, giving voice to the dream. “But not if it means caging you in, making you unhappy.”
“It won’t. I want that too. Every day for the rest of my life.” Derian kissed her. “So if it’s all right with you, I’ll be heading home with you. And staying.”
“I would love that, but what will you do?”
“I’ll have to travel sometimes for racing business, sure, and I’ll hate every second away from you. But I can cut down my personal appearances so I won’t be away very often.”
“Maybe,” Emily said slowly, a new, breathtaking image of the future forming, one she believed was not a dream, “I can come with you sometimes.”
“I’d love that.” Joy erupted in Derian’s chest. “Whenever, wherever you want to go. I’d love for you to come.”
“As long as you promise no celebrity photos.”
Laughing Derian nuzzled her neck. “Can’t promise that—you’ll look gorgeous on camera.”
Emily pressed against her. Beautiful is exactly how Derian made her feel. “What will you do the rest of the time?”
“I thought I’d get a little more involved in the business. I have a seat on the board I’ve never bothered with. I’m good with numbers, and I have accumulated a great many international contacts.” She shrugged. “It might even be fun.”
Emily rolled her eyes, the idea of high-powered business dealings her farthest idea from fun. But Derian had a knack for it, and it was, after all, her legacy. “What about your father?”
“For all he’s constantly criticized me for not taking part, he probably won’t like it.” Derian grinned and kissed Emily. “And you were right about one thing, I enjoy irritating him. So that’s a bonus.”
Emily laughed, lightness flooding her heart. She couldn’t fight what she wanted so much. Love was about believing, about taking the gifts that were offered and rejoicing in them. “I want us to be together always.”
Derian grinned. “Are you going to marry me, then, because I want us to get married.” She kissed Emily quickly before a question or protest could form on her lips. “Not because of Henrietta, not because of the agency, not even because of your visa. I want you to be mine and I want everyone to know it. I want us to have a life together, to make life what we want it to be, together. And…I want everyone to know I’m yours.”
Emily slid her hand into Derian’s hair and gave a little tug. “That means only mine. All mine. You understand that, right?”
“I’ve been all yours since the first kiss. All I think about is you, all I’ll ever want is you. For better or for worse.”
“For today and tomorrow,” Emily whispered.
“For all the tomorrows.” Derian rolled over, slid a leg between Emily’s thighs, and kissed her throat. “Did you just say yes?”
“Yes, God, yes.” Emily arched her back and wrapped a leg around the back of Derian’s calf. “You make me feel so good.”
“Yes, what? Yes, Derian, I will marry you…” Derian swirled her tongue around a very firm nipple. “Or yes, Derian, I want you to make mad, passionate love to me forever and ever.”
“Both.” Emily clutched Derian’s shoulder. “You are so arrogant. God.”
“You like me that way.”
“Yes, I do. Now, show me just how good you really are.”
Laughing, Derian trailing kisses along the curve of Emily’s breast and down her belly, slipping a hand between them to stroke and tease. “I can’t stop wanting you.”
“Don’t, don’t ever.” Emily’s mind was fragmenting, words deserting her. She rocked to the rhythm of Derian’s caresses and, when a shock wave jolted through her, grasped Derian’s arms. “Hold me. I’m coming.”
Derian gathered Emily up just as Emily cried out against her shoulder, catching a bit of skin and muscle in her teeth. Derian, already breathless and blinded by Emily’s beauty, groaned at the unexpected possession. So damn good. The tension spiraling between her thighs erupted. “Oh yeah.”
Weakly Emily shoved at Derian’s shoulder. “Done. Done, done, done. Go ’way.”
Laughing, Derian rolled onto her side and pulled Emily against her. “You just need a little food, and you’ll recover.”
“I may never get out of this bed.”
“Fine by me, but all the same, I’ll call for room service.”
Emily held on to her a little harder. “Not just yet.”
“Hey, are you okay?” Derian brushed a wisp of a tear from Emily’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing. Everything is right. I love you so much.”
“I love you. I can’t wait for you to be all mine.”
“I already am,” Emily said with absolute certainty. “But I still plan on marrying you just as soon as we can arrange it.”
“So is this like a pre-honeymoon, then?” Derian kissed her.
“Whatever you like. But you really will have to feed me soon, if you want to keep celebrating.”
“Calling right now.” Derian lunged for the phone.
“And, Derian?”
“Hmm?”
“When room service comes? Don’t forget to put some clothes on. Because from now on, the only one who’s ever going to see you naked is me.”
Derian laughed, already relishing the idea of being all Emily’s. “There must be a robe around here somewhere.”
About the Author
Radclyffe has written over fifty romance and romantic intrigue novels, dozens of short stories, and, writing as L.L. Raand, has authored a paranormal romance series, The Midnight Hunters.
She is an eight-time Lambda Literary Award finalist in romance, mystery, and erotica—winning in both romance (Distant Shores, Silent Thunder) and erotica (Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments edited with Stacia Seaman and In Deep Waters 2: Cruising the Strip written with Karin Kallmaker). A member of the Saints and Sinners Literary Hall of Fame, she is also an RWA/FF&P Prism Award winner for Secrets in the Stone, an RWA FTHRW Lories and RWA HODRW winner for Firestorm, an RWA Bean Pot winner for Crossroads, and an RWA Laurel Wreath winner for Blood Hunt. In 2014 she was awarded the Dr. James Duggins Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Award by the Lambda Literary Foundation. She is a featured author in the 2015 documentary film Love Between the Covers, from Blueberry Hill Productions.
She is also the president of Bold Strokes Books, one of the world’s largest independent LGBTQ publishing companies.
Find her at facebook.com/Radclyffe.BSB, follow her on Twitter @RadclyffeBSB, and visit her website at Radfic.com.
Other Radclyffe Titles Available Via Amazon
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
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Exchange by CF Frizzell. When Shay Maguire rode into rural Montana, she never expected to meet the woman of her dreams—or to learn Mel Baker was held hostage by legal agreement to her right-wing father. (978-1-62639-679-1)
Just Enough Light by AJ Quinn. Will a serial killer’s return to Colorado destroy Kellen Ryan and Dana Kingston’s chance at love, or can the search-and-rescue team save themselves? (978-1-62639-685-2)
Rise of the Rain Queen by Fiona Zedde. Nyandoro is nobody’s princess. She fights, curses, fornicates, and gets into as much trouble as her brothers. But the path to a throne is not always the one we expect. (978-1-62639-592-3)
Tales from Sea Glass Inn b
y Karis Walsh. Over the course of a year at Cannon Beach, tourists and locals alike find solace and passion at the Sea Glass Inn. (978-1-62639-643-2)
The Color of Love by Radclyffe. Black sheep Derian Winfield needs to convince literary agent Emily May to marry her to save the Winfield Agency and solve Emily’s green card problem, but Derian didn’t count on falling in love. (978-1-62639-716-3)
A Reluctant Enterprise by Gun Brooke. When two women grow up learning nothing but distrust, unworthiness, and abandonment, it’s no wonder they are apprehensive and fearful when an overwhelming love just won’t be denied. (978-1-62639-500-8)
Above the Law by Carsen Taite. Love is the last thing on Agent Dale Nelson’s mind, but reporter Lindsey Ryan’s investigation could change the way she sees everything—her career, her past, and her future. (978-1-62639-558-9)
Actual Stop by Kara A. McLeod. When Special Agent Ryan O’Connor’s present collides abruptly with her past, shots are fired, and the course of her life is irrevocably altered. (978-1-62639-675-3)
Embracing the Dawn by Jeannie Levig. When ex-con Jinx Tanner and business executive E. J. Bastien awaken after a one-night stand to find their lives inextricably entangled, love has its work cut out for it. (978-1-62639-576-3)
Love’s Redemption by Donna K. Ford. For ex-convict Rhea Daniels and ex-priest Morgan Scott, redemption lies in the thin line between right and wrong. (978-1-62639-673-9)
The Shewstone by Jane Fletcher. The prophetic Shewstone is in Eawynn’s care, but unfortunately for her, Matt is coming to steal it. (978-1-62639-554-1)
Jane’s World by Paige Braddock. Jane’s PayBuddy account gets hacked and she inadvertently purchases a mail order bride from the Eastern Bloc. (978-1-62639-494-0)