by Sky Corgan
“I don't plan on doing it anymore.” I didn't. I was done with putting myself in situations where I could run into Bobby and another woman together. It was a cycle of depression that I wanted to jump out of. The first step was no more frat parties.
No more parties, and no more texting Bobby. If he wanted our friendship to die, I was going to finally throw dirt on the coffin.
“Good.” Dustin nodded before pivoting on his heels to walk away.
“Hey,” I called back to him, needing to sate my curiosity.
“Yeah?” He stopped, glancing at me over his shoulder.
“I've been wondering.” I shifted my weight from one hand to the other. “Why have you been so nice to me lately? I mean, you've helped me twice. You could have just ignored me and walked away. Left me to my own devices.
“You used to be such a nasty shit to me in high school. To be honest, I was scared when I first saw you here.”
I could see the corner of his mouth pull into a grin. It had lasted for half of a second before he regained his hard composure. “I'm not the guy I used to be.”
By the time I thought about asking him what he had meant, he was already walking away.
***
“Sorority slumber party.” Leonor clasped her hands on my shoulders and hopped up and down. “You're invited.”
It took a few moments for her words to sink in. I was too busy being distracted by how much like a child she was acting. Sometimes, I had to question if she was mature enough to even be in college. This was just her bubbly personality, though. I should be used to it by now.
“What?” I furrowed my brow in confusion.
“Slumber party.” She let me go, taking a few steps backward towards her bed. “You know. Pajamas, movies, talking about boys.”
When she waggled her eyebrows at me, I couldn't help but laugh.
“But I'm not in the sorority.” I lowered myself onto my bed.
“I know. Doesn't matter.” She waved my logic away. “You're invited anyway. It's going to be fun. Say you'll come.”
The question on the tip of my tongue was if Georgina would be there. It wasn't worth asking, though. I knew the answer without even having to ask. And knowing the answer made me apprehensive.
I chewed the inside of my cheek, trying to come up with an excuse why I couldn't come. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face her yet. Blessedly, she hadn't come into our dorm room all week. Or if she had, I hadn't been there.
I couldn't avoid her forever, though. Besides, she wasn't really my enemy. Despite the fact that my conscience kept telling me that she had betrayed me, she hadn't. Bobby had betrayed me. He had betrayed me the second that he decided to kick our friendship to the curb in favor of going muff hunting.
I scowled at the thought. Leonor must have seen it because she gave me a sympathetic look.
“It's going to be fine, Brenna. More than fine. It's going to be fun!” She grabbed my hand to draw my attention up to her. “That guy isn't worth it. Bros before hoes. Us girls have to stick together.”
Except for that he was my bro long before she was.
“Shouldn't it be hoes before bros?” I screwed my face. “I mean, we're the girls, after all.”
“Whatever. Who cares.” She let go of my hand and did a dramatic spin before falling back onto her bed, her lithe frame bouncing slightly. “The point is that it will be fun and you shouldn't let that douchebag ruin it for you.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. In truth, the idea of having some girl time was more than a bit appealing, though I'd rather Georgina not be included. Maybe we'd be so busy that I could ignore her for the most part.
That was wishful thinking.
As soon as I walked through the doors of the Alpha Beta Pi sorority house, my stomach fell to my knees as I spotted Georgina unrolling sleeping bags in the common area. Leonor approached her immediately, completely forgetting about my feelings. We shared awkward greetings, and then Leonor and I were put to work helping to finish setting up for the slumber party.
I stood in the kitchen microwaving popcorn, staring at the turntable as it went round and round while the bags inflated and filled one after another. The popping wasn't loud enough to drown out my thoughts. Wondering if Bobby and Georgina were a couple. Wondering if she'd seen him today...maybe even had sex with him. Wondering if he ever said anything about me.
It wasn't until after we finished watching movies and were winding down for the night that I got the answers to some of those questions. For a while, as we watched Age of Adeline and the live-action version of Cinderella, I was able to forget about Bobby—forget that anything was wrong at all. But as soon as the movies were over and we all huddled in a circle to gossip, my insides twisted in discomfort. I knew it wouldn't be long before the subject of boys came up, and I wasn't wrong.
“So, Georgina, how are things with your guy?” one of the sisters asked.
I could only assume she meant Bobby. Georgina didn't strike me as the slutty type. Though what did I really know? She had moved in on Bobby the second that my back was turned.
Georgina smirked, though warmth never reached her eyes. “They're okay. We see each other here and there.”
“Here and there, huh?” The girl sitting beside her nudged her arm playfully.
“So you're dating now? Is it official?” Melody straightened herself, looking at her friend in interest.
“You could say that.” Georgina tilted her head to the side, seeming unsure.
“You're always so shy,” Leonor teased her.
I felt invisible. The slow pounding of my heart echoed in my ears from stress. I didn't want to hear this conversation. Didn't want to hear that Bobby was now dating my least favorite person in my new social group. Didn't want to know that this wasn't the last I'd hear about it. My body itched to stand and leave. This wasn't fun anymore.
I sat there silent and alone in a room full of people, regretting my decision to come. When the girls started breaking off into their own groups, things only got more uncomfortable. Leonor, Holly, Melody, Georgina and I sat facing each other. I couldn't even force myself to look at Georgina.
But then the rest of the girls went to the kitchen together to get popcorn, and I was forced to face Georgina. To be fair, I tried to go with them, but Leonor insisted that I stay behind. Something in her eyes told me that she wanted me to work things out with Georgina. This didn't feel like the best time, especially when my heart was chipping off in pieces and part of the cause was sitting only a few feet away.
The second that the girls got up, Georgina grabbed her phone to ignore me. I guess she wasn't in on Leonor's plan to mend things between us.
I felt my body stiffening as I tried to look at the screen and read the name on top. She glanced up at me for a second and then tilted it out of view. Her disapproving expression made me sink back.
I let out a long sigh and gritted my teeth. Might as well get this over with. “So, you and Bobby Calhoun, huh?”
“Yup.” She couldn't sound more uncaring about my feelings if she tried.
“Is that who you're texting?” I shifted my eyes away.
“Is that any of your business?” She gave me a snotty head bob that made my blood boil.
I inhaled deeply, fighting back a sudden flash of anger. It dissipated almost as quickly as it came. “No, it's not. I was just curious.”
Silence fell over us. For a moment, I thought it might be better if I kept my mouth shut until the rest of the girls returned. But there was something nagging at me—a question that I desperately wanted the answer to.
“Has he...said anything about me?” I hesitated, realizing how pathetic it sounded.
She dropped her phone to her lap and quirked her head to the side. “Listen, I know you like him. Leonor told me.”
“Hey, it's not like that.” I held my hands up in surrender. “Regardless of my feelings, I know he's yours now. I'm just curious if he said anything about me because we've been friends for four y
ears and as soon as we got to college he just kind of dumped me. As a friend,” I quickly corrected myself.
Her shoulders slumped, and the hostility left her. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so defensive. He's just...” her voice trailed off. “No, he hasn't said anything about you. I mean, the night we met he told me he was your friend, but he hasn't brought you up since.”
“Oh.” Another piece of my heart chipped off and fell into the pile. “It's okay. Thanks. I'm sorry I asked.”
I really was sorry. I'm not sure why I even asked in the first place. Her answer was expected, though that didn't make it hurt any less. It was now obvious that Bobby had all but forgotten about me, and I should do the same with him.
CHAPTER NINE
There was an invisible line drawn in the sand the night of the slumber party. Ever since then, Georgina and I had barely spoken, and every time I saw her, I was met with looks of disdain as if she viewed me as a threat to her relationship. I wasn't a threat. I never had been, but it wasn't worth taking the time to explain that to her.
Any time I'd walk into my dorm room and she'd been there, she hadn't stuck around for very long. Leonor had been spending more time at the chapter house. I'm sure she was aware of the fissure in our little group, but she hadn't bothered to point it out. She hadn't bothered to invite me to any more hangouts with the girls either.
I thought that feeling excluded would hurt, but oddly it didn't. I buried myself in my studies to try to forget about everything, now determined to transfer to a community college back home at the end of the semester. There was no point in me staying here. I belonged with my friends. My real friends.
Leonor felt like the only real friend I had left here. When she was around, she acted as if nothing was amiss. She had even been jubilant when Bobby dumped Georgina. I can't say that that news didn't make me smile on the inside. But thankfully, it didn't also come with a trickle of hope that Bobby would try to reconnect with me now that he was single again. That hope was dead. Any hope that we'd ever be close again was dead.
“I feel bad for Georgina.” Leonor frowned momentarily. “But the breakup is good news for us.”
“Why would that be good news for us?” I pulled my legs up onto my bed.
“Because it means we can all start hanging out again since there isn't going to be tension between you and Georgina anymore.”
My mouth fell open. Apparently, she missed the memo that Georgina and I were never friends.
“Leonor...” I tried to ease into what I wanted to say. “I like you...a lot. You're great...”
“But?” She rolled her head at me.
“But I've never really liked Georgina.” I cowered back a little, feeling guilty for admitting the truth to her.
“No one likes Georgina in the beginning,” she said as if it were common knowledge. “She comes off as a bitch at first. You just have to take the time to get to know her. To really get to know her. I promise, she'll grow on you. Like a fungus.” She perked up as if the fungus part was some brilliant analogy.
I chuckled. “Wow. I wonder what you tell people about me.”
“I'm serious, Brenna.” Her body folded forward as she gave me a pleading look. “Just give her another chance. I promise, she's a kitten. Now that you guys don't have a boy to squabble over, there's no reason you can't be friends.”
There's plenty of reasons, starting with the fact that she's an ungodly bitch.
“We never squabbled over Bobby.” I quirked an eyebrow at her.
“You know what I mean.” She rolled her eyes.
“Eh. I don't know. I'm pretty sure that if we were ever going to be friends, it would have happened before now.” I folded my arms over my chest, not liking the idea of having to spend any more time around Georgina than I absolutely had to. I was pretty sure we had a mutual disliking of each other that wasn't going to be going away just because Bobby was out of the picture.
“Please try. For me.” Leonor slapped her palms together, giving me large begging eyes.
I sighed, not wanting to give in but knowing I probably would anyway. It was hard to say no to Leonor. Even harder since I'd been leading a pretty boring life lately.
“How do you propose to magically make us become friends? Are you going to stage some sort of intervention?” I couldn't believe I was even asking this.
“No. Better.” She wiggled on her bed, her energy renewed. “Frat party!”
“Oh Gods, no.” I fell over. That's the last thing I wanted to do. I had yet to have a good frat party experience.
“Oh, come on. It will be fun.”
“They're never fun, Leonor. Never. Not for me.” I shook my head vehemently.
“That's because you were busy chasing that long-haired stallion.”
“What the?” I burst out laughing at her description of Bobby.
“We should geld him. That would teach him not to be a dumpy bum.”
“Where in the hell do you come up with this stuff?” I rolled onto my side, a grin spreading across my face.
She ignored me. “Say you'll go. I'll protect you from all of the bad people.”
“You do realize that every time you've asked me to go anywhere with you, it's turned into a disaster for me.” I sat up, trying to regain my serious composure.
“It can't rain all the time, Brenna.”
“It can in my world.” I exhaled deeply. Had I really become such a depressing, hopeless person?
“Oh, stop. There's nothing to keep you from having a good time. You're over that Bobby guy, right?” When I didn't immediately respond, she bent to catch my gaze. “Right?”
“Right.” I shook the thought away that I might not be.
“And he's what ruined the last two frat parties for you. So if you're over him, then he can't ruin it for you this time, right?”
“Right...” I replied hesitantly.
“So there's no reason why you shouldn't go. As they say, the third time is the charm. Since the last two times sucked, you're guaranteed to have an amazing time this time around.”
“Time is on my side, yes it is,” I broke out into song.
She raised an eyebrow at me. “What?”
“Sorry. You said time about a million times so that song popped into my head.”
“You're weird.”
“That's the pot calling the kettle black.” I snorted.
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “This pot and kettle should totally go to the frat party together.”
“Fine, fine.” I surrendered to the idea of having a potentially good time for once. “Everything has already fallen down around me. What else could possibly go wrong?” I said and then immediately hoped I wouldn't be eating those words later.
***
Things were not surprisingly tense between Georgina and I. Of course, our relationship was not going to mend overnight. Or over the course of one party, as it were. It felt like déjà vu walking towards the frat house. My gut was filled with dread but also with resolve. It was a strange mix.
I repeated the mantra in my head that I didn't give a shit if I saw Bobby again. Fuck him and whoever he decided to sleep with tonight. He meant nothing to me. Nothing at all.
I was pretty sure that Georgina was dreading seeing him more than I was. That was an oddly comforting thought. I may have been friend dumped by him, but I hadn't actually been dumped, and her pain was far more recent than mine. I'd had time to get over his douchebaggery. The wound was still fresh for her. I felt no pity for her, though. Deep down inside, I still didn't like her. I doubted that would be changing anytime soon, if at all.
I felt like a woman renewed as I walked up the steps of the frat house. Georgina was being subdued, so there was nothing to keep me from having a good time tonight. Leonor took the lead, as usual, but I stayed close behind, holding my head high like I was the most important person in the room.
We grabbed beers from one of the guys passing them out, and I felt so damned good that I even handed Georgi
na hers. “You're gonna need a lot of these tonight. We're going to drink until you feel all better.”
She gave me a soft smile, the first sign of friendliness that I'd seen from her all night.
“To making Georgina forget about the douchebag.” Leonor raised her glass in cheers.
“To forgetting about all of the douchebags in the world tonight.” I lifted my glass as well.
“To meeting new less douchey douchebags.” Melody smirked.
“You can have all of the douchebags.” Georgina rolled her eyes.
“Why are we talking so much about douche?” Leonor wrinkled her nose.
“Let's drink already.” I laughed, and then it became a chugging party.
Several guys stopped to watch us down the beers. They hooted and hollered before calling the beer guy back to get us refills. When they realized we weren't going for round two of chugging, their amusement faded away, as did they, and we made our way to the dance floor.
“Well, that was interesting.” Leonor sipped her beer as she swayed to the beat of the music.
“I'm having fun already. Aren't you?” I nudged Georgina.
For some reason, seeing the sullen look on her face made me feel the need to cheer her up. Perhaps it was because she was like looking at a reflection of myself at the last party. Bobby had a talent for leaving deep emotional scars. The fact that he could do this to a girl in a matter of weeks was almost impressive. It was a reminder of how charming he was—of how dangerous it was to get close to him.
Speak of the devil, I thought as I caught a glimpse of Bobby entering the room over Georgina's shoulder. As if sensing his presence, she turned her head and saw him too. I could almost feel the tension radiating from her body. He cast a smile in our direction, nodding in acknowledgment before glancing around the room and walking back out. At least, he had the decency not to stick around. It was obvious that he had been looking for someone. Probably his latest squeeze. I didn't care anymore.
That thought stopped me dead in my tracks.
My heart felt intact. Sure, there was a tremor of discomfort from seeing Bobby, but it left almost the second that he did. There was no longing to talk to him—no strong desire to chase after him. He had just been there, and then he was gone. I didn't care. I truly didn't care.