by C J Benjamin
“What the…?”
“Pretty cool, huh?” he said happily.
My eyes grew wide and my heart pounded louder as I stared in bewilderment at Nova. Was this some kind of magic trick?
“How did you do that?” I whispered nervously.
“This is what I was trying to tell you, Tippy. I’m special, just like you!”
“What?”
“I knew you’d never believe me if I just told you what I could do, so I figured I’d show you. That’s what tonight is all about!”
I took a step closer to the ball of light bouncing steadily above his hand. It was amazing. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Everything in me was telling me to be afraid, but I couldn’t help myself, I was so drawn to Nova and his flame. I wanted to know all about it and I wanted to be able to do it myself. I circled around his hand with my eyes transfixed upon the flame. I wanted to reach out and touch it, but something held me back. I was trembling inside at the idea of it.
As if he was reading my mind, he said “You can touch it. It won’t hurt you.”
Startled, I froze and looked up at him.
“Nova, how do you do that? You always know what I’m thinking.”
“Oh, that?” He laughed. “Well, yeah. I can do that, too.”
I paused for a second to focus on Nova’s face. It was illuminated in such a way that it took my breath away for a moment. The light bathed his tan face enough for me to see the bright sparkle of his green eyes and the joy that radiated over him as he looked at me. His smile was dazzling and white, and his dimples were in rare form. It had to hurt to smile that big, I thought as I stared at him. Then I shook myself from the Nova-induced spell that he always seemed to cast on me. I was so confused. I didn’t know if I was happy or sad to learn these things. Wait, was he listening to my thoughts right now?
“You can hear what people are thinking?” I asked cautiously.
“Yes. I know it’s weird, but I’ve always been this way. Ever since I was little. I thought it was normal, and everyone could do it. I’ve never shared this with anyone else, Tippy.”
“Why me?” I asked.
“Because I trust you. You’re different, you’re like me!”
“Why do you keep saying that? I can’t do this,” I said pointing at his outstretched hand. “I can’t make fire or hear what people are thinking!”
He smiled. “I have a feeling you can do a lot more than you think you can.”
Nova set off again and I was forced to follow him or be swallowed up by the trail of darkness. He stopped shortly and sat on a fallen palm tree, patting the trunk for me to join him.
“You try it now.”
“What?”
“Just do whatever you did when you were with Jemma,” he encouraged.
“I keep telling you all, I didn’t do anything when I was with her.”
“Well, you definitely did something, maybe you just don’t know how. That’s why we came out here. We can practice until you figure it out.”
For the first time since I joined Nova, I started to feel that heavy thing creep back into my chest. What if the only reason Nova wanted to be my friend was because he thought I had powers like him? Once he figured out I didn’t, would he not want to spend time with me anymore? I began to feel panicky, like the air was being sucked from my lungs. Little beads of sweat broke out along my hair line. I wiped at them with the back of my hand.
“Tippy, it’s okay. I know you can do this, even if you don’t. Just believe in it.”
There he went again, getting inside my head! I was going to have to remember to guard my thoughts more carefully when I was around him.
“Here, why don’t you try this,” he said grabbing my hand and dumping his bright little orb into my palm.
The instant it touched my hand it went out and we were once again bathed in darkness until Nova sparked another magical flame. My mind was reeling. I was learning so much, but was more confused than ever. Nova had magical powers, he’s convinced that I do, too; and who knows, maybe I do? But my trial run wasn’t going so well.
“You have to believe in yourself, Tippy. Let’s try it again, but don’t be scared this time.”
I held out my right hand, palm up and open and steadied it with my left hand underneath. This time it stayed lit, but as soon as I felt the tingling sensation take hold of my hands I panicked and pulled them back to my sides, dumping the little flame, which extinguished when it hit the mossy ground.
I let out a deep sigh. “I’m no good at this. Let’s just go back, okay? I’ve had enough.”
“No, Tippy, come on! Concentrate! I know you can do this!”
“Nova, I can’t!”
“Ok, calm down. We need to think about this. Maybe you need to be in the right frame of mind to be able to do it. I’ve had years to practice so it just comes naturally to me, but you need to take your time and figure out your triggers.”
“Triggers?”
“Yes, that’s how you tap into your power. It’s usually tied to emotions or nature.”
I stared at him wide-eyed. It was like he was speaking another language and he might as well have been because I hadn’t the first clue what my trigger was or how to find out since I’d never done anything magic before. Well, except for when I hit Jemma apparently.
“Jemma, that’s it!” he said.
“Oh, you’ve got to stop doing that! I don’t like you reading my mind!”
“Sorry, bad habit,” he smiled. “But I’ll try harder to stay out of your head, promise.”
“So you think Jemma is my trigger?” I asked.
“Maybe? That’s the first time you did anything magical, right?”
“Yeah, I guess. But what are we gonna do? Jemma’s not exactly my biggest fan, she’s not going to help me figure out if I have powers!”
“Hmmm… let me think,” Nova said, pacing back and forth silently on the damp forest floor.
I sat on the log tapping my foot impatiently. It figured that Jemma would be standing in my way of something great. She never could stand me.
What did I ever do that was so awful to make her hate me so much? Ugh, I’m not going to let her take this from me. Whatever these so-called powers were, I wanted them. I stood up and paced around with Nova, too. It felt more productive than sitting at least. I stopped by a tree and gave it a hard kick to release some of my frustration. Nova’s light suddenly brightened. We both turned to look at each other.
“What was that?” I asked.
“I think it was you! What were you just doing?” Nova demanded.
“Walking around thinking about how much I hate Jemma. I took my anger out on this poor tree,” I said, patting its trunk regretfully.
“That’s it. It’s your anger toward Jemma!” he said excitedly. “Come here, let’s try it again. This time think about Jemma and how much you can’t stand her.”
“Okay, I’ll try,” I said, sounding a bit unconvinced.
I raised my hands again, palms open and cupped together this time. It was as if Nova was passing me a fragile insect considering the delicacy he used transferring the flame to me this time. It touched my palms and he continued to support me by placing his hands underneath mine. The light danced and flickered but it didn’t go out. I concentrated hard on staying still although I could feel the powerful sensation of the flame tingling up my arms. Nova and I stood there with our arms outstretched toward each other cupping the licking flames.
“I’m going to let go now, Tippy. Keep concentrating.”
He slowly pulled his hands away from mine and took a step back into the shadows. I felt the flame start to dull, but I was determined not to lose it, so I dug deep into my memories of all the horrible things Jemma had done to me over the years. That seemed to work because as my cheeks flushed with anger from those memories, the flame strengthened. It was like a fire had been ignited inside of me. I felt hot and powerful, like my whole body was glowing.
I smiled without takin
g my eyes off the flame. “I’m doing it!” I whispered to Nova, but as I spoke the flame began to dull and then I heard it – that voice in my head again.
“Jemma! Jemma! Jemma!”
It made me jump and I lost the flame completely. I was swallowed in the heavy cloak of blackness that dwelled in the forest. I froze in place. I wanted to call out to Nova but lost sight of him before the flame went out and I was scared of the voice I just heard in my head. What if it was coming for us?
Light!
“Oh, thank the gods!” I gasped and ran toward Nova, wrapping my arms around him. I was out of breath and shaking.
“Tippy, it’s okay. You did great! What’s wrong?” Nova asked as I clung to him.
“That voice! Did you hear it too? It was shouting in my head, and it’s not the first time I’ve heard it. I think it’s what led me out here tonight. I think we might be in danger, Nova.”
“Tippy, don’t be mad okay? You have nothing to be afraid of.”
“What do you mean? Why would I be mad?”
“It was me that you were hearing in your head. Just now I was trying to help you concentrate on Jemma, and earlier it’s how I told you it was time to meet me. It’s another power I have.”
“What? You not only can read minds, you can control thoughts? What are you? What do you really want with me?”
I was shouting now and backing away from him. I felt overwhelmed and angry. I knew I was different, I’d always been the outcast, the one with no friends or family, but for once I thought I found someone who didn’t care. But I was wrong. Nova just wanted to take advantage of me, too!
“Tippy, stop it. You have me, you’re not alone now.” he said, coming closer to me. “And you’re not an outcast, you’re special, look what you can do.”
His words shook me and instantly brought tears to my eyes. Nova softly draped his arm over my shoulder and I began to cry.
He knew so much about me! It wasn’t fair. I barely knew anything about him. Everything about him was mysterious. The fact that he knew his name, the secret hiding spot he had in the courtyard, the way he unlocked the window in my room, the magic flame, the mindreading, the way I hear his voice in my head…
Suddenly I stiffened. Nova was so open about his other powers, but he didn’t say anything about being able to speak to me in my mind, only that he could read minds. What if he can implant thoughts? Was any of this real or was he just manipulating me? Was this all a trick to get me out here? I was suddenly frightened of him. I was alone in the forest with a boy I barely knew and he had strange powers. How had I been so stupid? Well, if he did have other plans for me I wasn’t going to make it easy on him. I ducked from under his arm and took off running aimlessly into the forest.
“Tippy!” he shouted after me. “Stop, it’s not like that, I swear. You have to trust me.”
I didn’t make it very far before Nova caught up to me. I couldn’t see where I was going and kept stumbling and I eventually slammed my shin into something solid and fell down completely. Nova had no problem finding me with his handy little fire light. I felt cornered and vulnerable as he approached. I was breathing heavy when he stopped at my feet. He stood looking down at me for a moment and then just decided to sit on the large stump next to me. It must have been the source of the throbbing pain in my shin. I scrambled to a standing position and stared at him. Why was he just sitting there?
“What are you?” I shouted at him. “Why did you bring me here?”
He just sat there staring at his feet. This infuriated me. My fear was suddenly gone, replaced by anger, fueled by my need for survival.
“I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m not a freak like you and I don’t want you in my head anymore! Got it? Just leave me alone!”
“Tippy, I’m sorry. I understand how you’re feeling, but I’m only trying to help you. I promise,” he pleaded.
“You may be able to hear my thoughts but you don’t know how I feel! I feel betrayed. I trusted you! And this whole time you were just messing around in my head? I don’t even know what to believe anymore.”
“Tippy, I promise I never messed with your head. I only talk to you. I don’t make you do things.”
“Yeah right! Like I’m supposed to believe the mind bender?”
I turned away from him and started to stomp off again, but he reached for me. As soon as I felt him touch my skin, I whirled around like a wild animal and lunged for him.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed as I swung out with both fists.
I hit him square in the chest with my left hand, but as I swung again with my right, he blocked me with his flame-wielding hand. Before I knew it, I was on fire! There was a burst of flames as soon as our hands connected, then the fire raced down my right arm and across my back. I could feel the heat and I closed my eyes in panic and screamed. As the sound escaped my mouth, something incredible happened. The flames transformed into a glowing light beam that shot straight up from my body into the night sky. The whole forest awoke with the burst of light radiating from me! Suddenly, I wasn’t afraid anymore. I felt strong and powerful and light and fearless! I stretched my arms out in front of me. The light spread to both hands and I separated them shoulder width apart. The light continued in a beaming arc that connected both my hands. I laughed at the strangeness of the whole experience and the light grew brighter still. It sprang to life, leaving my hands and encircling me. I threw my head back in hysterical laughter. How was this happening to me? Had Nova been right all along? Could I do magic? I looked around trying to find him. All I saw was my halo of white light, breathing a glowing life into the dark forest around me. Suddenly, I realized I was no longer on the ground. I was hovering!
“Oh my gods!” I gasped.
“You’re okay, Tippy. Stay calm,” came Nova’s steady voice.
Following the sound of his voice, I looked down to see him about ten feet below me.
“What do I do?” I shouted.
“Just stay calm and concentrate on coming toward me.”
I locked eyes with him and heard him whispering in my mind.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here.”
I focused on his face and his calm, steady voice in my head. I could see his face coming closer, it was getting clearer. I honed in on each of his exquisite features. His golden-blond hair seemed to glow in the light I was casting; his deep-green eyes sparkled as the light picked up the flecks of gold in them; his sharply chiseled jaw and angular cheek bones were highlighted as the light danced across the bronzed skin of his face; and his full lips turned down and pressed together in concentration with genuine worry for me. That’s when I first realized that Nova truly cared about me and that I should trust him.
He drew closer and closer to me and before I knew it, his arms were encircling me, holding me safely against his chest as it heaved up and down heavily. That’s when I realized Nova must have been scared, too. Even though his voice was strong and calm, he must have been just as frightened as I was. I looked up at him and the relief on his face was radiating in his smile. I hadn’t realized my feet were on the ground until that moment. I still felt like I was floating while in Nova’s embrace. We both just stared at each other for a moment and then we laughed until we collapsed.
“Well, this was quite a night!” said Nova between fits of laughter.
“I’ll say!” I gasped.
“I told you, you could do it,” he boasted.
“Okay, okay, you were right. But I think I’m done for tonight.”
“I agree. You scared me for a little bit there.”
“Me? You scared me! I thought you were turning my brain to mush or something!”
“I know, I’m sorry about all that. I’ve never shared these secrets with anyone and I guess I didn’t think about how you might react. I’m sorry, Tippy,” he said sounding downtrodden again.
I scooted closer to him and grabbed his left hand, gently scooping out the little flame he was controlling.
Nova smiled and shrugged, “I like the sound of that.”
We sat like that for a while, trading the light back and forth with each other. In Nova’s hand it was a flickering flame, in my hand it transformed into a blue-white, gaseous orb. The beauty of it mesmerized us. Each seemed a fitting representation of us. Nova’s flame was bright, bold and fiery, and my orb was ever-changing and seemed a bit unstable. Strangly, I started to feel more like myself than ever before. I couldn’t explain the feeling of ease and contentment I felt playing with this magical source of light on the damp forest floor with Nova. It was like coming home, even though I had no recollection of my actual home. This feeling gave me strength, courage and peace that I was doing the right thing. And it gave me trust in Nova, like I had never had for another person before. I felt as though our souls were meshed together like the flickering flames before us and that he would always be a part of me. Nova gave me a reassuring sigh of contentment. I guess he was feeling the same way, or perhaps reading my thoughts.
I turned to look at him.
“Can you tell me everything about you? I don’t want any more surprises and I won’t overreact, no matter what you tell me. I promise. I just want to know you.”
He smiled at me and reached out his empty hand, pulling us to our feet.
“Nothing would make me happier, Tippy,” he murmured. “There’s a lot to tell, but we better be heading back, I think your light show woke up the whole forest. We’re going to have to go deeper next time. You’re a lot more powerful than I even imagined.”