by C J Benjamin
My excitement was short-lived because Jemma lined herself up next to me, giving me a sly little smile and wink that made my stomach churn. I’ve shared winks with Nova and Sparrow before, but they signaled trust, friendship, or a secret. I didn’t want to share anything with Jemma, especially a secret, because she was bound to save it for the precise time that it could hurt me the most. There was nothing I could do but stand alongside her and watch as the other years filed out of the courtyard ahead of us. I stood anxiously watching them pass. We would go last. We always went last. The oldest orphans would perform first, going in order of oldest to youngest until it came to us. We would close the show, ending with one of Jemma’s solos. With her last perfectly timed note the fireworks would begin and applause would erupt. It did give me a small bit of satisfaction to know that Jemma didn’t have the solo this year. I couldn’t wait to see her have to applaud Sparrow and Remi with the rest of us. As I enjoyed this little victory I turned to look at Jemma, wanting to return a smile and wink of my own, but out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Nova, marching tall and beautifully dressed, right past us with the rest of his year.
“No!” was all I managed to telepath to him as he passed.
“Later, Tippy. We’ll do it later,” was all he telepathed back to me, obviously picking up on my disappointment that he was joining us at the Gala rather than staying behind to try to retrieve the Book of Secrets. I hated all of these delays. They just added to my agitation and that uncomfortable feeling that something was building, just out of reach, but dangerous nonetheless. I started to chew my nails as I watched Nova walk further away, but then he called back to me, “And you look beautiful by the way,” making me blush.
I found myself wondering what the heck Sparrow did to my hair. I guess I should have glanced in the mirror on our way out because I was getting some strange looks and now Nova was calling me beautiful. Maybe he was still recovering, or maybe I melted his brain when I was healing him.
“Mmm, John 18 looks great doesn’t he?” Jemma said next to me, snapping me back to reality.
“What?” was all I could manage with my blood boiling as I stared at her questioning dark eyes.
Why was it that she couldn’t let me have anything that made me happy? And why was she even talking to me. This was the most we’d ever conversed. I tried to gauge where she was coming from and for a moment I thought I saw her stern wall of unapproachability soften.
“I heard he got pretty messed up by Khan trying to pull some prank on Greeley, but he looks fine, don’t you think?”
“I guess,” I mumbled still staring straight ahead.
“Perhaps things aren’t always what they seem,” she replied looking straight ahead again with her emotionless wall back in place, battle ready once more as we marched on.
43
Our progress halted outside the giant white gates of Lux where we were inspected before we were permitted to enter. We waited while Greeley, who was seated comfortably in a plush covered carriage pulled by two jittery horses, passed us. While we were made to walk the vast distance of sun-cracked earth that separated us from Lux, Greeley always rode contently in her elaborate horse-drawn carriage. Of course Khan and Ria were afforded such luxury as well, which is probably what attributed to the nervous snorts from the horses. As I watched Khan pass by me I shuddered at the flashback of him mauling Nova. It was hard to believe the big tarcat, who was now lounging lazily behind Greeley with one massive paw flopping carelessly outside the cart, was the same one who almost killed my friend. And even Ria, who often seemed playful and sweet, with her slender body now curled up at Greely’s feet, was in on the action. I realized we were foolish to underestimate them.
As we waited for the guards of Lux to give us the customary once-over, I found myself gazing at the massive gates that separated us from the citizens of Lux. It was almost bizarre the way these two solid doors were what separated us from the other; locals from citizens, luxury from lower class. I never noticed this before, but all of a sudden it seemed silly to me. These were just doors, highly structured ones at that, but still doors just the same. I guess it was what lay behind the doors that we coveted; the freedom and thrilling beauty of the sparkling city. It may have been just another seaside city before the Flood, but to us it was a land of secrets and mystery. Every time I had a chance to be inside the gates I would feel the excitement and allure catch hold of my heart. It had such a pull on me that it seemed like a place I was destined to be. As we finally started marching forward again, I kept hold of this thought; Lux is my destiny. Tonight I would find out the truth, no matter what.
44
The trusted guards of Lux deemed we were worthy enough to enter their protected city and gave us a long and ceremonious bow, which signaled the trumpeters to announce our arrival and the official beginning of the New Year Gala. As we passed under the shining arch that adorned the gated city I could feel my heartbeat quicken. With the sun setting, the gleaming white city emitted a beautiful golden glow. All the lavishly dressed citizens stopped what they were doing to line the streets and cheer for us, celebrating our arrival. Perhaps they were really only excited that the festivities had officially begun, rather than the fact that the local orphans were arriving, but I chose to believe the latter because it was my favorite part of the whole night. For that moment I felt special, important, loved. Each year it got better, too, because I got closer and closer to the front since the older years had moved on.
This year was just as wonderful as always. Upon entering the city I was hit with a sensory overload. I didn’t know whether to look at the beautiful people layered in expensive jewels and fabrics, or to stare at the breathtaking beauty of the setting red sun, casting vibrant hues frolicking across the sea. I could see the pollen and dust caught in beams of pinks and oranges dancing slowly in the air, as if drunk off the beauty of the sunlight. The air was heavy with the intoxicating scents of sweets and spices. I could smell the mulled cider and brown sugar coated nuts roasting, and I swear if I closed my eyes I could almost taste the cinnamon date cakes. My ears were ringing from the applause and joyful shouts in our direction, until they were drowned out by the fast tempo of horns and percussion that swept us up as we got closer to the center of the chaos.
Yes, the sights, smells and sounds of Lux were dizzying, and even more wonderful than I remembered. They were like a dear friend I didn’t realize I’d been missing until they came back home.
As I followed the others down the steep and winding streets, I kept reminding myself to watch my step because it was hard to keep my eyes from wandering to the thousands of pale paper lanterns glowing overhead. They lined the streets, stretching up to the cliff-side homes and all the way out to sea. Above my head they bobbed light and airy, in the soft warm breeze. In the distance they looked smaller, almost like they were floating unassisted, just like my shiny little orbs in the forest; and I couldn’t help but smile. Then there were the starch-white homes, which were not to be outdone by the lanterns. They each boasted magnificent displays of candles burning brightly on their windowsills, vestibules and walls. Every little crevice of a ledge was filled with piles of white candles in varying sizes, set ablaze in melted, waxy arrangements. Tonight, Lux was a fireball of light.
As we reached the stage, I came back to reality a bit more. I always started to get nervous once we all crammed behind the stage curtains, cloaked from the excitement of the crowd beyond. They smelled musty to me, probably from being packed away all year long. Sparrow was instantly next to me the minute Jemma left my side. We gave each other a worried look and then went to find Journey and Remi. I found myself letting that old foreboding feeling creep back up to settle in its familiar place in my chest.
“What was that all about?” Remi asked, looking as engaged as I’d seen him in a while.
“Yeah, why were you walking with Jemma?” Journey asked with his eyebrows raised.
“I wasn’t walking with her you dummy, she was walking with me!
”
“Oh, there’s a difference?” Journey half-heartedly challenged.
I rolled my eyes at him but dropped it. Instead, I turned to Sparrow and asked, “Are you ready for your solo?”
“Yes,” she nodded nervously.
“And you?” I asked Remi.
“Yeah,” he shrugged.
“Okay, well then we need to get a plan together for after the performance. I know where the Book of Secrets is and we have to get it tonight!”
“What? How? Where? Why tonight?” Sparrow sputtered while the boys just exchanged questioning glances with each other.
“Yes, it has to be tonight. Don’t you guys see? Tonight is our best chance. There’s so much going on that no one will suspect us. It’s not a regular night where we’d look like we were obviously up to no good if we’re out of bed late. Maybe we can try to sneak back to the Center early? Maybe we can – ”
“That seems like an awful lot of maybes, 65,” interrupted Remi.
I was about to protest, when I felt Nova behind me. He broke away from his year to join our little powwow in the back corner of the stage, where he comfortably slung his arm over my shoulders and I relaxed under the warmth of it. “She’s right. If the book is where we think it is, tonight’s the night. It’s our best chance.”
I smiled triumphantly back at Remi, but my gloating was short-lived.
“But, Tippy, we have to be smart about this,” he said looking down at me before looking back to the group. “We can’t try to sneak out of here early. That would be too obvious. We’ll just leave the feast early,” Nova added. “Agreed?”
We looked around at each other, knowing this was it. We were deciding to put forth a motion that couldn’t be stopped once started. I could tell the seriousness of it was weighing heavily on each of us, and that was the way it should be. After seeing what happened to Nova I think we all realized this wasn’t child’s play any longer. His idea of leaving the dining hall tonight was definitely our best option. After the Gala we always returned to a wonderful feast at the Troian Center. This was often the highlight of the night for us orphans, but I was so preoccupied with everything else that it was far from my mind this year. I looked at the others and they were all looking at me for some reason, so I decided to step forward.
“Agreed,” I seconded, reaching for Nova’s hand.
The others nodded in agreement and joined hands with Nova and me, filling me with nervousness and calmness all at once.
45
Well, we had a plan. At least it was something. It seemed we were spiraling out of control since our last plan to get sent to the locker was hatched. I swallowed hard, hoping this one would work out better.
Remi and Sparrow headed off to practice their solos and Journey and Nova were deep in conversation about something. I walked over to them and almost wished I hadn’t when I heard the subject matter.
“It really looks great. You can’t even tell your face used to be shredded,” Journey marveled.
“Yeah, Tippy did an incredible job,” Nova said, sending a wink my way.
“How’d you do it?” Journey asked, focusing on me now.
“I don’t know, I just did,” I said roughly, immediately regretting my harsh tone.
“Sorry,” I said, “It actually wasn’t easy and it’s not a great memory for me.”
“Okay, I get it. I’m just really glad you were able to save him,” Journey said with more sincerity than I knew he possessed.
“I think you may have done too good of a job though. I swear I look even better than before,” Nova joked, ribbing me a bit to try to lighten my mood.
“Yeah, we are getting some strange looks in our direction,” I added with concern.
“Oh, well I think those are on account of how beautiful you look,” Nova replied, giving my shoulders an affectionate squeeze, which instantly weakened my knees and made my cheeks burn scarlet red.
“Yeah, you do look really, uh… pretty…tonight,” Journey said almost sheepishly.
“Alright, I’m convinced you’ve both gone mental tonight. I’m going to go see if Sparrow and Remi need any help rehearsing.”
I left the boys to themselves and set off to find Sparrow and Remi. I had some things I needed to discuss with Remi, too. Like, where the heck he was going when he was supposedly checking on Nova and I every night? Maybe tonight wasn’t the best time to confront him, but I was figuring out that I wasn’t very good at leaving things unsaid and we promised each other no more secrets. I was rehearsing how to best approach the subject with Remi when I was startled by a passing reflection. I paused and took a few steps backward toward the mirror I just past. It was very old, covered in dust and utterly unremarkable in every way. It was dull and almost hidden by bolts of old fabric that were slung over it, but it was the strange face in its reflection that peaked my interest. My heart pounded as I walked toward the eerie image. I knew from the angle I should be looking at myself, but there was no way that the face looking back at me was mine. I didn’t know her, yet she was somehow familiar. Her snow-blonde hair, intricately plaited, lit up the mirror, giving it an ethereal glow. I crept even closer, drawn helplessly to the light and beauty. The closer I got the more the feeling of familiarity grew inside of me. It tugged at my heart, begging my brain to make the connection. The reflection looked like me, yet not. The hair color was right, but it was so smooth, and shiny, and beautifully done. The eyes were similar but they seemed bluer, deeper, wiser, and more dynamic. The skin was the same tone, but flawless, and the lips were fuller and painted a beautiful shade of red. If I didn’t know any better I would think I was meeting a relative, someone with the potential and opportunities that I never had. Someone confident and beautiful. I pressed my palm to the smooth glass and felt a jolt of iciness stab me in the heart, while in the same moment my veins seemed to burn hot. It took my breath away. Gasping for air, I pulled back from the mirror and sat down still facing it.
“Oh my gods,” I whispered to myself. “I know who you are. You’re Nesia.”
I sat there reeling in my discovery. How was it possible that this mirror was turning my reflection into that of Nesia, the famous goddess of our island? I knew it had to be her. I had read so much about her and studied drawings and paintings. But the reflection of flesh and blood was new and harder to place at first, yet now that I had, it was impossible to shake. But why was she here, in my reflection? I was leaning forward for a closer look when Remi called my name, startling me.
“65! 65! I need you to talk some sense into Sparrow! Come on,” he said pulling me to my feet and dragging me away from the mirror. I tried to interrupt him but he was babbling on and I was only catching bits and pieces as he tugged me through the crowed backstage.
“Remi! Stop! Tell me what’s going on.”
“That’s the problem! I don’t know what’s going on. One minute we’re rehearsing and then Sparrow tells me she’s not going to do the solo!”
“What?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I went to go get some warm honey water for us and when I came back she was in tears. She said she wasn’t doing the solo anymore and then she ran off. You need to go talk to her.”
“Where is she?”
“She stormed off in that direction,” he said, pointing to a dark corner of the stage.
I sighed and headed off in that direction myself. Sure enough I found her, kneeling in the corner with her back to me, fidgeting with something on the floor.
“Sparrow?” I asked softly. “What’s wrong?”
She turned her tear-stained face to look up at me and then handed me a shoulder bag. At first I was confused but then it hit me that it was my shoulder bag and the moving bundle inside was Niv.
“He’s okay!” Sparrow added quickly when she saw the panic in my eyes.
“How did he get here?” I gasped while stepping further into the shadows so I could see for myself that Niv was safe. His tiny black eyes peered back at me as he curiously snif
fed the new smells of Lux. I nuzzled him and scratched briefly under his chin before securing him back inside the bag before anyone else had the chance to spot him.
“Jemma had him,” Sparrow whispered.
“What? How?”
“I don’t know, Tippy. She just came over to me a few minutes ago and said that I had something that belonged to her. I had no idea what she was talking about. I was about to say so, but then she said it was okay, because now she had something that belonged to me, so we were even. That’s when she handed me the bag. She said, ‘Even trade, don’t you think?’ And then she walked away.”
I was speechless and seething mad, but unable to process how this happened. When I didn’t respond Sparrow fell into her quiet sobs again.
“I’m so sorry, Tippy, I didn’t know what else to do. I was afraid she’d tell Greeley on me if I didn’t give in. She practically said so, with that smug look on her face.”
“It’s okay, Sparrow, none of this is your fault. I’m just sorry you won’t get to do the solo now.”
“I don’t care about the stupid solo anymore,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “I’m just glad Niv is safe.”
“And I think he’ll stay that way now that Jemma got what she wanted, but we’re going to need somewhere safe to hide him during the performance. Let’s get back to the others,” I said, taking the opportunity to return Sparrow’s earlier favor by placing my hands on her head to restore her hair and make up to its pre-Jemma encounter.