What a vacation. It was meant to be for soul-searching, getting answers about her brother’s last moments on earth, and she’d done both, in a way.
Mental peace spread through her as she reconciled how she felt with the circumstances of Perry’s death. Maybe she’d been bothered because she hadn’t known anyone he was with, but Cash didn’t seem like the type of guy that’d let the army lie about her brother getting killed. She was thinking too Hollywood; this was reality.
As for soul-searching, just coming here without Ellis was a huge step to finding herself. She hadn’t been Abbi Daniels for the last three years. After their first year together, when her world had crashed, she’d been Ellis’s girlfriend—behaving how he and her parents wanted. Around Cash, and even Hannah, she’d been fully accepted as reckless Abbi.
Go fishing in cold water? Sure. Fish fry at midnight? Let’s do it. Gotta get up early? Who cares! One night without eight hours of sleep didn’t make her impetuous.
There was a knock on the door. She dropped her brush and raced out of the bathroom.
Cash was early. She flung open the door without checking the peephole.
His tired smile warmed her as much as his charming grin. He was wearing his navy blue Walker Five ball cap and a tan jacket that looked like it had come out of a cowboy catalog, which made sense. As a farmer and rancher, Cash was part cowboy.
“The recruiter didn’t take as long as I had hoped.”
She stepped back to let him in. From the subtle strain hidden in his expression, the meeting must not have gone well. “You wanted it to take longer?”
He stepped inside and bypassed the horribly uncomfortable desk chair to drop onto the edge of the bed. “Much longer. Ask some questions, find out what kind of benefits she can get depending on what job she chooses. Find out length of training, what it entails, where she could get stationed…” He blew out a breath. “Damn, just find out more. Instead, we walk in and she asks about being a nurse and learns she’d have to finish nursing school, so she says, ‘What about a medic?’ He gives her his spiel and she smiles and nods, sets up a time to go to the processing center to join. I tried asking some basic questions and she kicked me out.”
“She’s joining the navy, huh?”
“‘Going to see the world.’” He glared at the floor between his boots.
Worry for his sister radiated off him. He needed comfort. She sank down next to him and curled her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I’m not against her joining, just with being so impulsive.”
Abbi bristled. Was impulsiveness only bad in sisters? Hadn’t Cash ever made sudden decisions based on little information? Perry had—and he’d always gotten away with it. “You don’t like that trait in her?”
“Not when it’s her future.” His forehead creased, but he wrapped an arm around her. “I don’t want her to have a ton of regrets, thinking she should’ve stayed in school, then joined as an officer and made more money. Or realizing she hates anything medical and wishing she’d joined as a…a… I don’t fucking know.”
“Or she might find out it was the perfect decision and be really happy.”
“I hope so.” He didn’t sound convinced.
Abbi tipped her chin up to meet his gaze. “You aren’t responsible for her happiness. She’s an adult and she’s in charge. Sometimes the best thing a brother can do is accept his sister just the way she is.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. “You sound like you speak from experience.”
She straightened but managed to stay in his embrace. “Honestly, if I had been allowed to make hasty decisions about my future, I think I would’ve been happier. Instead, I majored in what would make everyone else happy. I got a job that was expected of me. I’ve done nothing with my life that my younger self would’ve wanted and I’m miserable. Perry was the only one I could talk to about any of it. He accepted me the way I was.”
Cash gazed at her for a few heartbeats, his expression solemn. “He worried about you.”
Her heart twisted. She should’ve pretended everything was peachy the few times he was able to call.
“Hey,” Cash said softly. “What’s wrong?”
“I shouldn’t have stressed him.”
His face hovered inches from hers. “He would’ve anyway. It’s what we do.”
She wasn’t letting Cash get away this time. Stretching up, she kissed him. He didn’t tense or pull away but hugged her closer, like it was what he needed, too.
Pulling his hat off, she dropped it behind him and snuggled closer. Combined with his efforts, she ended up straddling his lap.
Her lips parted. Their tongues danced and licked at each other, but their hands stayed firmly in place. Odd. She’d been ready to strip down the second he walked in, but this closeness filled an empty hole inside of her. One she’d had no idea existed. He confided in her, didn’t hold back when he would have with others. It was the emotional equality she’d been craving in a relationship.
He splayed his hands on her back and squeezed her to him as they devoured each other. The hard length of him pressed into her, a decadent tease that heightened the pleasure of being in his arms.
Grinding into him, she managed some restraint and reached for the promise that they’d be like this soon, only with no clothes. And when the time was right.
Because he wasn’t reaching up her striped blouse, or trying to undo her skinny jeans, he must need this connection, too. They kissed and hugged, kind of like getting to know each other without words.
Until his jacket started to vibrate.
He paused and they broke apart.
“Is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” She didn’t move from his lap, had no wish to.
Heat simmered in his gaze, his expression intent. “Oh, I’m happy to see you.”
Capturing her mouth again, they continued where they’d left off and his phone went silent. Finally, his hands drifted down to the hem of her shirt. Warm fingers hit her back and she sighed into him. This was going to be good.
His phone started vibrating again.
With a frustrated chuckle, she rolled off his lap onto the bed. “You’d better answer.”
He snatched his phone from his coat and glowered at the screen. “What now?”
Abbi saw “Dad” on the screen before Cash put the phone to his ear.
“Yeah?” Cash’s gaze swept her body, but he glanced away as she heard a man’s voice, though she couldn’t make out the words. “No.” Pause. “Went back home yesterday. I doubt she’s answering your calls. Can you blame her?” Cash rested his elbows on his thighs and dropped his head into his free hand. “No, Mom seemed all right. Except…” A heavy sigh. “I told her that Frankie was in the hospital and I was helping her out.” Pause. “Yes, Holly’s mom—my grandma.” There was an edge to his voice. “Look, I’ll try calling and, yes, Sissy is here and she’s fine, too.”
Abbi raised a brow, but Cash didn’t spill to his dad what his sister was up to.
He disconnected and passed her an apologetic look. “Dad can’t get ahold of Mom.”
He punched in a number and put the phone back to his ear.
“Mom? What’s going on? Dad said he can’t reach you.”
Patty’s angry voice floated through the phone, but again Abbi couldn’t make out the words. She hated eavesdropping, but there was nowhere else to go and he could’ve gone into the hallway. He hadn’t. Did that mean he didn’t mind her hearing? She stretched out on the bed, honored he wasn’t going into hiding. He must trust her, or at least trust that she could handle it. He hadn’t seemed like the type to share the intricacies of his life or anyone else’s.
Had Perry entrusted Cash with any secrets? Would he share with her, or think he was protecting her? She might have to talk with him about that. Not only was that why she was here, but after what they’d gone through together, his openness with her would make secrecy on this subject feel like a b
etrayal.
“You’re staying where?” His sudden heat yanked her attention back. “Who? Is he a—” his shoulders slumped, “—boyfriend?”
She sat up. Astonishment flooded his face, followed by dismay.
“Not at all. You deserve to be happy. Of course, I understand. It just seems so sudden.”
“I’ve been unhappy for almost thirty years,” Patty’s voice cast through the phone clearly. “When I met someone who actually respected me, I decided to get to know him.”
His shoulders drooped farther. “I know. I’ll just text Dad and tell him you’re okay.”
She clasped her hands on her lap. How often had he played mediator between his mom and dad? That was no role for a child, no matter what age.
How often had he shouldered the blame for the circumstances behind his birth?
Chapter Eleven
Cash finished sending the message to Dad.
A draft cooled his now-empty lap. Abbi was quiet next to him. A muscle flexed in his jaw. Heaven had surrounded him and his duties had faded away. For all of a minute.
His responsibilities rushed back. He had to check on Frankie, her cats, call his sister for details.
Abbi’s lush body curved into him. “I’m sorry.”
He draped an arm over her shoulders, her presence chasing away a few pounds of pressure. “Thanks.”
His parents had never apologized to him, but she had within minutes of seeing what it was like for him.
“Your mom’s found someone new?”
He dipped his head. The news wasn’t sitting well with him. What had happened to his normal dysfunctional family? Less than forty-eight hours ago, he’d learned his parents were divorcing and his mom had already moved in with someone. His dad could be, too! Sissy was running off to the military, leaving just him, doing as she’d always done.
“Do you think Hannah knows?” she asked.
He didn’t even want to contemplate that. “No, and she’s going to go nuclear when she finds out.”
“What’s she going to do—run off and join the navy?”
Cash barked out a laugh. “Good point.”
Abbi slipped away from him and stood. She held out her hand. “But you know what? Your mom can tell her. It’s not your job.”
Easier said than done. Sissy just took bad information better from him. All those years Mom and Dad wouldn’t speak to each other, she’d turned to him. In a weird way, helping Sissy helped him process what was going on.
Abbi wiggled her fingers. His lips twitched into a smile. She was right. He clasped her hands and rose.
She looked up at him. “By the way, I’m taking you out to eat tonight.”
A grudging smile played on his lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to fish in the cold mud and have another fish fry?”
“I absolutely want to do that again. But it’s my turn to provide food.”
“Come on.” He dropped his tone low. “I’ve got some pussy waiting for me.”
Laughter bubbled from her. “I don’t doubt it. After being alone all night, Dutchie and Baron will rub all up and down you.”
They both swapped pussy jokes on the way out to his truck and to Frankie’s place, and the juvenile humor was just the levity he’d been looking for. He let them inside Frankie’s tiny apartment. He’d expected the cats to swarm them, but her apartment stayed quiet and the cats remained aloof. Abbi went to check on them while he dished out the cat food. She hadn’t come back into the kitchen yet. If something happened to those furballs on his watch… He went searching and found her looking at the pictures on the wall.
If he were honest, it was something he’d wanted to do the last time they were here.
“You look like her,” Abbi murmured.
He glanced at the picture of Holly on her graduation day. She was blond and blue-eyed, too. He looked and acted like his dad, and he shared his birth mom’s nose and smile.
“Yeah,” was all he said. Whenever he thought of Holly, he didn’t get angry or resentful. He brimmed with sadness, not for himself, but for a young woman who went through life so unhappy that she had to end it herself.
“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Abbi touched his face.
His brows drew down. “Yeah. Why?”
“You seem sad. Do you ever wonder…?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think about it, honestly. She didn’t want me.” That came out harsher than intended. “Maybe she did and was too overwhelmed.” He shrugged. “She had problems.” That was as much as he ever let himself think about it.
“You feel sorry for her?”
He blew out a breath. “I do. But…” He swallowed. God, was he really going to say this? “I wonder sometimes if my lack of emotion when it comes to my birth mother stems from not wanting to hurt Mom by thinking about her. So, I try to just hope that she found some peace in life, and I really do know that she did the best thing she could for me. Life with her would’ve been…turbulent.”
She cupped his face in both hands; he stared into her shimmering hazel eyes. “You have such a good heart for the people around you who’ve hurt you.”
Hurt him? “What do you mean?”
“You haven’t done a damn thing wrong, but all the adults in your life have swept you along in their personal drama. Yet you worry about them and care for them.” She brushed her lips against his.
When she pulled away, he expected her face to be full of sympathy, steeled himself for it, but her small smile was almost shy.
Keys jiggled in the front door. They both turned to face it, not knowing what to expect.
Frankie trudged in, wearing her black work shirt and black slacks. The clothing she’d worn to the hospital.
He rushed to her side. “You busted out. Why didn’t you call?”
She jumped, her hand flying to her heart. Dear lord, he wasn’t giving his grandma a heart attack, was he?
“Cash, hello. Oh, and Abbi.” She relaxed, her expression pleased. “I can see my darlings were well cared for. You didn’t have to stop by today, too.”
“We wanted to.” He guided her to a chair. “How’d you get home?”
“Called a cab.” Frankie settled into a chair with a sigh that said she didn’t want to move any time soon.
“Why the hell did you do that?” There was no heat in his words. Frankie was too damn independent and too intent not to intrude in Cash’s life, she would’ve never entertained the idea of asking him for help.
While Frankie got settled, Abbi went into the kitchen. Since they had a moment of privacy, he decided to make sure Frankie knew she’d never be intruding.
“Look, I told Mom and Dad that I see and talk to you regularly. So don’t worry that contacting me will upset anything. We’re family.”
Surprise flitted through her face and her eyes glistened. She patted his hand. “You’re such a good boy. I was so upset at myself for passing out Monday morning because it meant I missed my time with you.”
“Well, then,” he drawled, “we may have to implement a weekly dinner night.” He smirked at Abbi as she exited the kitchen with a glass of water for Frankie. “I hear I cook a mean fish fillet.”
Abbi handed the glass off to Frankie. His grandma seemed both pleased and uncomfortable with the attention.
“He mans a wicked grill, too.” Abbi sat on the couch, probably so it didn’t seem like they were hovering over her.
He sat next to her. “If you’re back at work next week, we’ll set a date.”
Frankie’s eyes softened the way Gram’s did when he and his cousins did something sweet. It was the first time he’d compared Frankie to Gram. Frankie was Frankie, technically his grandma, but she’d been at arm’s length for the last few years. Almost nonexistent before that. Gram was the stereotypical grandmother. She’d diapered him, chased after him, shamelessly spoiled him. He even lived in her old house.
Now, as the three of them chatted and talked about doctor’s orders and going back to work and the history of
the fat cats roaming around and what plants did the best indoors, Frankie was more than his birth mom’s mom. She was his family.
***
They walked out of Frankie’s place to Cash’s truck. The cool autumn breeze wasn’t unpleasant and the sun was still warm enough to ward off the worst of the chill.
“Is it too early for supper?” Abbi had missed lunch but wanted to get to the dessert. She and Cash had grown closer; it wreaked havoc on her hormones. Had she ever wanted a man more than she wanted Cash?
Sure, she remembered brief glimpses of their first night together, but it was dulled from the haze of alcohol. But then it’d been all crazy attraction and finally letting herself run amok. Now, it was…more.
He sighed regretfully. “I might grab a bite, but I have some fences to mend before we move cattle.” He lifted a shoulder as if in apology. “The guys are planning to help me bring cattle in a couple of weeks, so I have to get everything ready.”
“I can still hang onto my promise of supper. Keep the door unlocked and I’ll bring groceries over and cook you something.” Her smile felt frozen in place. Was he going to refuse? She had zero desire to go back to her empty hotel room and sit around, ignoring Ellis’s texts and calls.
His eyes twinkled. “I can’t promise my oven works after a summer of grilling.” He helped her into the pickup, which was unnecessary, but she’d never complain about his hands on her. “How ’bout we stop and get groceries before we head back?”
She met his gaze. He was asking her to sleep over. The part of her that she’d allowed to have too much say in her life begged her to take things slower, to remember her life back home had been left hanging and that she had to be responsible.
But the other part of her said she’d be a wild idiot to miss out on spending quality time with him—in bed.
“Sounds good,” she said.
He jogged around to hop in the driver’s seat. She enjoyed riding around in his pickup with him. He waved to damn near everyone and drove in the easy, relaxed manner he did everything else in. No constant worry or speculation about his future and where he was going and if he was going to hit the next promotion milestone within his five-year plan. No tightness in his shoulders, no fretting over where to park or worrying about unwanted door dings and scrapes. Cash parked on the far end of the grocery lot where it was sparse, his big truck taking up two spaces.
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