The person who is supposed to love you the most and protect you from everything is often the one who delivers the most blows.
“I have some news.”
I froze.
Here it is.
“I tried to hold off for another year, but I can’t. I’m so sorry Raquel.” She burst into tears. “Your father’s policy didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. We had too many bills, and the funeral was so expensive.”
My heart rose to my throat, I could feel the pounding in my head. I clenched my shirt, hoping my breath would come. “What does that mean for me?”
“I’ve been talking to Grandma, Raq. We’re selling the house and moving in with her until I can get back on my feet.”
My blood boiled with rage.
“You could’ve got a job, Mom. Hell, I could’ve if you would’ve mentioned something to me. What about my senior year? What about college?”
She raised her hands, defending herself. Whatever lame excuse she gave me wouldn’t contain my anger. We could’ve done more. Dad would’ve wanted better for me.
“I enrolled you in Cape Pleasant. You’ll start Monday.”
“Are you serious right now? It’s Friday!” My jaw damn near hit the floor.
She flinched at my harsh tone. “I wanted to wait until the last second. Just in case I could swing something else.”
“Last second? You succeeded.” I slung my backpack over my shoulder. Laughing without humor, I took a step backwards. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go tell my friends bye.”
“Raq, don’t be dramatic. You’ll see them every weekend.”
I clenched my fists, but I kept walking. It wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t worth it.
She’s always been an asshole. Dad caught the heat of it, but now that he was gone, it all fell to me. On the rare days she could pull herself out of the bed, she made it my problem.
This time she went too far though. I’d never forgive her for this shit. Forcing her teenage daughter to move schools in the middle of senior year. Without resistance? She must be fucking high.
I’ve heard people talk about deathbed wishes. What will they wish they had done differently? Spending more time with family usually tops the list.
As I stand here in front of my homeroom door, I’m wondering the same. Maybe transferring schools isn’t a death sentence, but it’s beginning to feel like it. I’ve made all of two friends at a small school that I’ve gone to my entire life. I can’t exactly imagine anyone will roll out a welcome mat when I walk through Cape Pleasant Monday morning.
Oh, right, deathbed wishes.
I shouldn’t have been so difficult. Maybe I could’ve tried more. If I’d just said hi to anyone I passed in the hallway. If I paid attention in class. If I was nice, welcoming, bubbly. Maybe it would’ve been different.
Maybe. But I’ll never know.
A hand tugged my elbow. I recoiled, as I did when anyone touched me. Spinning around, I found Aiden. His dark blonde hair was shaved on the side, longer on top and combed perfectly to the side.
His hair was always on point with whatever trend was happening. It was the eight wonders of the world. Mine’s just black.
“Are you waiting for me?” His grin could be spotted from a satellite orbiting the earth right now.
“Um.” Shit. Deathbed wishes. “Kind of.”
I was staring at the floor now. The dark spot beside my spotted Chucks to be exact. I tried to smooth my knitted brows before looking at him.
“Hey, what’s up? You’re kind of freaking me out.”
I’m freaking my own self out right now. Wait your turn. Don’t be selfish.
“Um,” This is harder than it should be. Like I forgot how to form words. My brain doesn’t know how to get a sentence out anymore.
He’s staring at me. Smile vanished, jaw hard, and worry brewing behind his baby blues.
“My mom dropped a huge bombshell on me. I guess I’m still processing.”
“Take your time,” he said.
But his voice was rushed, and I wasn’t getting the vibe that he wanted me to take my time, so I word vomited.
“I’m moving! Today is my last day!” My eyes snapped to his face.
His jaw dropped. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never really seen him caught off guard. As our class president all four years of high school, he was like a little town politician, always put together with answers and solutions. But I just turned his whole damn world upside down and for the first time since I’d known Aiden, he didn’t have a clue.
“Where?”
“Cape Pleasant.”
Relief washed over his face. Old Aiden was back, grinning and composed. “You should’ve started with that, Rocki, you acted like you were being shipped off to Australia.”
My mouth twisted to the side. A few towns over didn’t sound like a lot to him, but for the girl who is being uprooted and thrown to the wolves, it might as well be Australia.
“We’ll see each other every weekend,” he said. Feeling sentimental, he slung his arm over my shoulder and guided me into homeroom.
And now I get to tell Emily. No one else deserves to know where I’ve gone. Emily will fill them in anyway. Maybe she will thrive with me gone. Finally able to be friends with the cheerleaders without the weird girl holding her back.
I slid into my seat next to Aiden, side eyeing him as he pushed my notebook toward me. They’ll both thrive without me.
I don’t have a deathbed wish.
It all worked out the way it was supposed to.
I just want a fresh start. Completely alone.
The only thing worse than my brother hosting benders all weekend is walking into school on Monday morning.
The last week of May couldn’t get here fast enough. Three more months. I could make it. I think.
I walked down the hallway watching as my classmate’s weaved through each other to get to their classes on time. Teachers didn’t say anything to me anymore. They were lucky I was here at all. Part of it was pity, and the other piece of the puzzle was fear.
The town was small enough to know everyone’s business and my family was wealthy enough for people to push for more details. That means everyone knew my parents were out of the country on business, or maybe dad followed a mistress there. I couldn’t keep up with them anymore.
And my brothers? One was straight laced, and the other skirted by because dad called in favors.
I wasn’t always moody and broody, but this was the personality I’d decided to stick with. If I’m an asshole, people stay away. Most days I felt invisible, but then I’d see some chick staring at me or a jock would strike up a conversation and I was pulled back in reality. My last name, face, everything about me would always cast a spotlight on me.
I dropped my notebook on the table and slid into my seat on the back row. A nod from someone I recognized from the soccer team to my right caught my attention. I shot him one back.
I’d been on the team for four years before I quit midseason this year. I’d had scouts looking at me, but when I’m over something, I’m fucking over it.
Coach took it personal, but most of the players were still cool with me. I left them hanging but fuck it. Winning a title in high school shouldn’t be the peak of our lives. Which is something I should’ve kept in my head because Coach threw a cleat at my head when he heard it. At least he helped me clean my locker out faster.
It’s the little things. Rubbing my head where the scar was safely tucked behind my hair, I smirked.
Ms. Indigo flew into the classroom at the last minute. Cocking my brow, I looked on as she tossed a stack of papers on the podium and stared into the hallway.
Indigo Williams.
She wouldn’t let us call her by her last name. Apparently, she was divorced and didn’t want to go through the steps of changing her name again, but she didn’t want to be reminded she married that “douche bag.” Her words, not min
e. So, we called her Indigo. She was the chillest teacher we had here. Which explained why I was in an advanced English class my senior year. I didn’t need the credit; I just knew she wouldn’t ride my ass for being late.
Smoothing down another of those weird ass dresses she wore, she motioned to the door like she was gesturing for someone to come in.
Splotchy Chucks were first to appear. Black ripped jeans, and a white band tank top was halfway hidden by a heap of long dark ass hair.
Ms. Indigo grabbed the girl by her shoulders, guiding her to face the class for the first time.
Caught fucking entirely off guard, I leaned in. Wolf blue eyes glided over the class, only reacting when she landed on me. Her eyes bulged, and she looked down immediately.
The tiny fighter was caught off guard, too Not so feisty here on my turf.
“Class,” Ms. Indigo said, squeezing the tiny fighter’s shoulders. “This is Raquel. She’s a senior and she’ll be joining us the rest of the year.”
A chorus of hellos and welcomes followed.
Ms. Indigo looked around the room, landing on the seat in front of me. “It looks like there’s a seat in front of Roman.”
She shuffled down the aisle, looking down at the book in her hand the entire time. When she reached the desk in front of me, she looked up. And she was everything I remembered.
Fuck, I’m not even questioning why I was thinking about her the next morning anymore. Lean body with curves in all my favorite places, plush lips, eyes I could stare at for the rest of eternity staring back at me.
She was the one who broke eye contact and slid into the desk.
I was still leaning up when Ms. Indigo started lecturing.
“You aren’t going to hit me with that book, are you?”
Her breath hitched. She dropped her shoulder, taking a beat. This close to her, with her back turned to me, I could shamelessly study her without her prying eyes on me.
“Not if you keep your hands off me.”
Chuckling, “I don’t think that’s what you want.”
She tensed up again. “Believe me when I say I want nothing more than you to stay away from me.”
“You win, Raquel. I won’t touch you until you beg me to.”
Goosebumps popped up on her arms. Smirking, I leaned back in my seat.
Senior year just got interesting.
Hello Raquel, I won’t quit until you’re begging for me.
He has to be fucking with me. Still, I shivered, running a hand over my shoulder he’d been so close to. I’d locked myself in the last stall, waiting for the girls to empty the restroom
I slid the lock open, popping my head out before I left the stall. Completely empty. I trudged over to the mirror and stopped short of the sink. My hair fell almost to my waist and was still in place after a very long first half of the day.
At least I looked better than I felt.
I washed my hands quickly and pulled my backpack into place on my shoulders. Checking the time on my iPhone, I realized lunch would be ending in twenty minutes. That left me enough time to sit on a bench in the hallway and talk myself off a cliff.
I didn’t have to walk far, there was a wooden bench to the right when I walked out of the girl’s room. Sliding my backpack off my shoulders, I sat down on the end.
This school was much nicer than the high school I’d spent the last four years at, but so were the homes and the students’ clothes and cars. I can’t comment on their kindness because so far, I've managed to stay away from them. Other than…Roman, I’d learned his name today.
He had a thing about books and shock factors, I guess, but other than that, he left me alone. I give it an entire week before he forgets all about me, and then I’ll be invisible again.
Which reminds me. Aiden and Emily haven’t texted me. They usually blow my phone up when I’m away, but today, they forgot me.
Invisible.
A boulder sized fist punched a hole through my chest.
Hmm.
I guess I got what I wanted.
Fourteen minutes. I stared across from me, finding a motivational poster about teamwork. Ironic. I hate teams. There’re cheesy stock photos of teenagers working together centered around the word ‘teamwork.’ Do adults really think that’s how we work? Maybe they’ve never met a socially awkward kid like me.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Jesus Christ, no. It’s teacher shoes. The only thing worse than sitting alone is letting a teacher find you sitting alone. I’d be seen as a wounded bird. She’d take me under her wing. Push me to make friends. Push me to be normal.
Holy shit, I can’t think of anything worse right now.
“Raquel? Is that you?”
Letting out a long breath, I turned my head. Ms. Indigo was walking toward me. I guess I’d thought if I sat really still and stared at the cheesy teamwork sign, she wouldn’t see me.
I’d change my strategy next time. I’d run.
“Hi!” Oh my God! That noise was me. It came out of my mouth! My voice was so high pitched when I was lying. And I was about to lie my way out of this whole entire situation.
I’m not a wounded bird. Let me suffer in silence until May. I promise I’ll make friends later in life.
“What are you doing out here? All the kids are at lunch,” she said, taking a seat at the end of the bench.
Yes, I know that’s why I’m here.
I forced a fake laugh. “I got confused with my schedule?” My hand up to rest over my mouth. “I couldn’t find the cafeteria?”
Why is everything coming out as a question?
Her face softened. She’s really pretty, I noticed. She’s wearing a long bohemian dress, and her long wheat blonde hair is wavy and fell past her shoulders. She doesn’t give me a teacher vibe. But with the face she’s making right now, I’m still thinking she’s about to make me her latest project.
“Last year was my first year here. I came here after my divorce,” she said, smiling at me. “I moved to a different state, different school. I was in shock, but I eventually got used to it. If you’ll give it a chance, I think you’ll like it, too.”
“I’ll be okay, Ms. Indigo. Thanks for checking.”
“I know the last thing you want is me hovering.” She’s a mind reader, a good dresser, and pretty. The total package! Sucks to be her ex-husband. “But I was glad you sat by Roman today. He’s been a little lost this year. I think you two could have each other’s backs.”
My jaw actually dropped.
But I pulled it up and mentally stitched it closed, hoping like hell she didn’t notice.
Um I think the hot, rich, moody dude will get along fine without me. And if she knew about the tiny encounters I’d had with the guy, she would rethink that.
“Okay, well.” Any thoughts. Just form a sentence. “I’ll be nice to him.”
She let out a small chuckle. She pushed herself off the bench, standing. “I know what you’re thinking, but I think you could both use a friend. It’ll be a long three months cooped up here alone.” She took a few steps backwards, looking at her watch. “If you ever need anything at all, Raquel, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Okay? Uh, thank you,” I said. She shot me a quick wave before she walked off.
Click.
Click.
Click.
The sound of teacher shoes leaving. My favorite noise in the universe. Music to my ears!
Groaning, my head fell back. I knew what that last part was about. She’d read my learning plan. That was the sympathy kicking in from my new English teacher. Not only was I the new kid, but I was also the girl with learning disabilities. A statistic. Their worst nightmare. But good news for her? I’d be gone in three months. At least she didn’t have to suffer for years teaching me.
She probably thought I was weird, taking an unnecessary advanced English class my senior year, but she didn’t know I liked to
push myself. Maybe I couldn’t always focus on what she was saying., and yeah, it took me longer to complete work, but I was still determined to prove them all wrong.
I’ve always been more than my diagnosis.
I dropped my backpack off on the table centered in the middle of the foyer. My grandma’s house was double the size of our old one.
I almost asked my mom why my grandma, who lives in a huge home and drives a luxury car, couldn’t help us, but I stopped myself. I’m getting the vibe that my mom doesn’t want to ask for a handout and my grandma probably doesn’t want to grant her one.
So, I’m stuck. In a large home, sharing a roof with two women who never understood me. I could tell myself it's only three months, but honestly who the hell knows? I haven’t heard back from colleges, and the dark cloud of doom is starting to settle over my head.
All I know is, I can’t stay here forever. Or even a day. There’s a coffee shop in the neighborhood. I jogged up the stairs, past the portraits of my dead grandpa and family members I’ve never met and stopped in my borrowed, floral room.
“How was your first day?”
I grabbed my laptop off the desk, clenching it in my hands before turning around. Grandma stood at the door, poised, and polished. She was wearing a light pink dress with a matching blazer over it. Always suited to meet the queen.
I don’t know how I descended from her, but our “give a fuck” seems to be decreasing by generation. I mean, back in the day before mom didn’t spend all day in bed, she was a dress pants kind of gal. Not up to grandma’s standards I frequently heard her tell dad.
And then there was me. I bought maroon Chucks last week and splashed bleach polka dots on them. So, I can’t even imagine what kind of offspring would come from me.
Oh God, I don’t think I want kids.
“Raquel,” grandma said, taking a step closer. She was toeing the line of the bedroom door now. Carefully staying away in case my fashion choices were contagious. “Sweetie, where do you go when you drift off like that?”
She released a soft chuckle, but she was probably frustrated with me. It’s not like she ever had the option to get to know me. We were only here on holidays because of the strained relationship between her and my mother.
Dare Me: The Pierce Boys of Georgia, Book One Page 3