He took a sharp right turn and I damn near ended up in his lap. “I didn’t mean it,” I said.
He took a hard left and I slammed into the door.
“Then why did you say it?” He asked, amused.
Maybe he thought he was getting to me with the erratic driving, but that was far from the truth. I’d never been more alive than I was at this moment.
“It’s hard for me to understand people. I can’t read them.” I looked down at my hands, my cheeks were pooled with heat. “Sometimes I just say things. I think I meant that you’re all over the place and sometimes I feel safe and sometimes… I feel excited.”
He was quiet for a beat.
“What do you feel right now?” His voice was low and sultry as he traded a glance at me before looking back at the road.
“More alive than I’ve ever felt.”
The side of his mouth lifted slightly. “And what if I told you we’re in a stolen car?”
I laughed on cue. “Sure, Roman.”
“Would that make you feel excited, alive?” He slowed the car to a stop on the side of the road.
“I mean.” I looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. Laughing, “I don’t know how I’d feel.”
I don’t know if he heard anything I was saying because he was staring at my lips. I didn’t hide or turn away. Instead, I stuck my tongue out, wetting my bottom lip. We were so close; I could reach out and drag my finger across his plump lips and that didn’t have me running in the opposite direction. Instead, I was fixated.
“You’re in a stolen car, Raquel.”
My eyes snapped out of the lip daze he had me under, and I slid up to those rich amber eyes. He wasn’t smiling. No smirk.
Fuck my whole entire world.
He was serious.
And I’m not trying to rip the door handle off and dive out of this thing?
Who’s more fucked up here?
“Say something. How do you feel?” He was dangerously close to me now. Not dangerous for me, for him. I could smash my lips against his before he could protest.
I took a deep breath and counted to ten. My calming technique since I was a kid. It rarely worked, but I tried anyway.
I looked up at him, inches away now. How do I feel? “I haven’t run away yet.”
And he closed the gap between us.
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
The second his lips connected to mine; I knew it was different from the few pathetic pecks I’d shared with the last guy. I wanted to throw myself in his lap. Connect to him in every single way possible. Because this kiss would never be enough.
He grabbed the back of my head, pulling me closer with a growl and I went willingly. My lips parted, letting his skilled tongue in. His tongue massaged mine, and I let out a moan.
He nipped at my bottom lip. I was enthralled with it all, and I found myself pulling his shirt, attempting to climb over the damn console if it meant I could deepen this connection.
He pulled back and fell back in his seat.
I stared at him, hoping he didn’t see my embarrassment.
Did I come on too strong?
Did he not like it?
“Godammit,” he said, gripping the steering wheel. “If you were that type of girl, I’d pull you outside and fuck you on the hood in front of the whole neighborhood.”
I gulped. Because it wouldn’t take a lot of persuasion for me to be that girl tonight.
Chuckling, “But you aren’t.” He looked off in the distance ahead of us. “That’s why you’re here.”
I slid over in my seat, facing the front of the car. Discreetly, I held my hand to my chest, hoping it’d calm my pounding chest.
Practice breathing.
Focus on breathing.
“Say something,” he demanded.
I looked him in the eye. His pupils were dilated, and his breath was ragged. Okay, we were on the same page. But I needed space. I think?
“Take me back to your place.”
Maybe that came out wrong. Because you’d think he was the devil and I’d just sold my soul with the grin that was plastered on his face.
He stomped the accelerator, and we drove back to his place.
IN. A. STOLEN. CAR.
That we just made out in.
My life really just did a one-eighty.
Roman took me to the back door and directed me how to get to his bedroom without being noticed. I walked through an oversized laundry room, breakfast room, and wedged between that and the kitchen was a staircase.
At the stair landing, I looked to the left and spotted the library, then back to the right. His bedroom was two doors down. I did a double take, making sure no one saw me before going into his room.
It’s quieter here, and there’s so much black.
But that’s Roman.
Roman.
I was in a stolen car. What I did to Aiden. I threw myself at him. Aiden is going to tell mom what happened.
I can only see the bed. Nothing else in the room exists. Like tunnel vision, and a serious case of sensory overload, but it feels worse this time.
Something’s wrong with me.
My chest. I think someone is sitting on it. If only I could see past the bed, I could make sense of it. I staggered over to the bed and dropped to my knees before it.
Sweat beaded up in every pore on my body and decided at this moment to drench me. I shrugged off my jacket and laid my backside against the floor.
I need to cool off. I reached for the comforter and balled my fist into the side. A tear streaked down my cheek. With the hand not swaddled in the blanket, I flicked it off.
Something’s wrong. What’s wrong with me?
And like a sick answer to my question, his face popped in my line of sight.
“Breathe,” Roman said.
I am fucking breathing! Tears streamed freely now, and I wanted to scream. I saw myself in a tiny, dark room screaming the tears away. But instead, I just breathed as fast and hard as I could.
“No, slow down. Deep breaths.”
I focused on his face. Why did he look so calm? But I matched his motion of breathing deep.
In and out. Slow and steady. Hard and deep.
Until the tunnel vision opened up and I could see the world again. My brain had unleashed me from the dark corner of my mind, and that screaming girl was now a part of me, looking up at Roman and waiting for him to speak.
When he speaks, the world makes sense.
Tears weren’t blurring my eyes now and I could see the worry behind his. “Have you done that before?”
I pushed myself off the floor and leaned against the bed. I shook my head, “I don’t know what that was.”
“A panic attack. I used to get them,” he replied, nonchalant.
My heavy eyes slid to his. I’d lost all my energy, but my curiosity peaked. “Why?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Games, parents leaving, brother drama. But I’m over it, you aren’t. What’s going on with you?”
His amber eyes held mine. So much emotion swam behind them. If I had enough energy, I’d laugh, but I settled for a sigh.
“Other than the obvious?”
“Asshole ex-boyfriend or a joyride in a stolen car?” A smirk spread over his face as soon as the question left his lips.
That earned him a tight smile. He stood up and grabbed my hands to lift me next to him. He collapsed on the bed, lying on his back, and I took that as an invitation to do the same. I didn’t exactly feel like running home but being here next to him had my stomach in knots.
“Aiden wasn’t always an asshole. I kinda am.” I turned my head to the side, finding him looking back at me. “You read the text. You know what I did.”
He chuckled, “You broke up with him. His ego’s hurt. He’ll get over it. If a guy makes you like this for ending things, he isn’t worth your time.”
“I should’ve told him in person. I’ve k
nown him all my life.”
He propped up on his elbow. “Raquel, it’s high school. It’s not that serious.”
“I’ve never seen him so mad. He always had my back. Aiden and Emily were all I had.”
“A dude wound that tight is going to pop like a fucking rubber band sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t let it bother you.”
His mouth curved into a grin. Despite every instinct, I nodded, agreeing with him. “Why am I oversharing with a stranger?”
He chuckled again. “You’re alone. And you know I don’t have a soul to tell.”
“But that never bothered me before. I was the suffer-in-silence type,” I said, still staring up at the smooth ceiling.
A lot of people in my old town had popcorn styled ceilings. Roman didn’t. I think you can tell a lot about people from their ceilings. For instance, Roman and my old friends aren’t in the same tax bracket. He’s the type I usually stay clear from, and here I am bearing my soul.
“I can tell you to shut up if you like?”
I could hear the smile in his voice, and it was hard to not reciprocate it, so I stared ahead. Lying next to this gorgeous boy on the most comfortable mattress in the world, under a rich ceiling and ignoring the attack I’d had on my brain moments before.
“What else is going on up here?” He asked, brushing over my temple. Every time he touched me, I remembered I didn’t jerk away from it. Every tiny touch didn’t go unnoticed. Like he’d rewired my brain to welcome his touch. It was weird as fuck.
With Aiden, it was always I’m fine. Same with Emily. And the occasional day that she gave a damn, the same answer was given to my mom.
But Roman can solve the world’s problems.
Or that’s what my brain thinks anyway. Because around him, I could focus, I’m calm. He makes sense. He sees through me.
What a weird fucking thing to think about someone I barely know.
I propped up on my elbow, my hair curtained behind me and fell on the bed. My face twisted into a scowl as I regarded him. What is it about you? Aiden was pretty to look at, too.
“Why do you do that?” He asked after I never gave an answer to his first question.
“What?”
“Look at me like you’re the president of the United States and I’m trying to steal the nuclear code from you.”
I bursted into laughter for the first time since my panic attack. “I’m just trying to figure out why you care.”
His eyebrows bumped together, and he let out a low hmm. “Is that all?”
“And maybe I’m trying to figure out why I do.”
He looked taken aback. “Is that a bad thing?”
“With me and you? I think it could be the worst thing.”
I drove Raquel home. Not in a stolen car, I might add. In the Range Rover. I have no idea what caused her panic attack, probably a mixture of secrets she won’t tell me, but I didn’t want to add to it by asking her to get back in the Corvette. Although, I can’t say some of my favorite memories didn’t happen in that car.
I’d never cared for kissing. It was just a mindless means to get a girl out of her pants. I did it when necessary, but never enjoyed it.
But holy fucking Raquel.
I’d kiss every inch of her body, emphasis on those ‘kiss me’ lips. Plush and pink.
I parked in front of her grandma’s house, and she immediately reached for the door. I wanted to lock it and demand she stay the night with me. Not even to fuck me. I mean, I’m not blind, I want that from her, but I don’t think this house is a good place for her. Not after a huge panic attack.
Instead, I studied her shaky hand on the door, wondering what she wanted. Raquel isn’t the type that wants a brooding alpha male, and I ‘d never been one to give a fuck to act like that over a girl.
So, we sat at a crossroads. Confused, isolated, and mentally fucked.
Her wolf blue eyes found mine. “It feels weird to say I had fun, but” she started, her plush lips carved into a smile. “I had an interesting time? That sounds fitting, I think.”
Her smile was contagious. I let out a small laugh, easing her anxiety that radiated through the car. “Interesting beats fun.”
Her smile fell, replaced with a serious look. “Thank you. Seriously. For everything.”
I reached in the glove box, brushing her knee in the process. I noticed her breath hitch every time I touched her. I knew there was a story, but I didn’t press for it. I just waited for her to fill me in.
I’d been in her life a small amount of time, but long enough to know that she’s used to people forcing things too soon. I wasn’t adding myself in the long line of people she wasn’t comfortable with like Aiden, Emily, and her mom and grandma.
I fished out the notebook and pen. Opening it to the first page, I scribbled you have my number. Use it.
Old school. One day, she’d cave and call.
I folded it, slipped it between my fingers and held it out to her. “In case you need me.”
She looked at the paper and back to me.
“Panic attack or otherwise,” I said.
“Wow. Second attempt to get me to call.”
I shook my head. “I want you to ball this up, throw it away, pretend you hate me and fish it out of the trash later because you can’t stand another minute of not talking to me.”
She laughed, a rich sounding one. The first one since she panicked earlier. “In that case, don’t expect to hear from me. Ever.”
She opened the door and stepped out. Her eyes were lit with amusement, and I hoped they stayed that way. I hated seeing the fear in them a couple hours ago.
“I won’t hold my breath!”
She slammed the door and walked up to her grandma’s house. When she reached the door, she turned and waved before walking inside. I guess that would be my cue to leave, but it was the first time I’d caught my breath all night.
I sped off without another thought.
I just told a girl I barely knew I had a stolen car in my possession.
I mean, she didn’t know why. I didn’t tell her about Rhett or his operation he had going on, but fuck, it was enough for her to call in on me and get the whole thing shut down.
But I didn’t think she would.
I just had to make sure Rhett didn’t find out she knew. That’d be a different story.
You know when you wake up after a night of drinking, hungover and foggy, wondering if you said anything dumb?
I woke up like that this morning. Except not hungover. I just knew I fucking said and did something dumb.
Rhett has this whole hazing shit he makes you go through before he brings you in. It’s a little more intense than some frat boy shit, but I call it hazing anyway.
And everyone who knows about his operation? They’ve gone through his hazing process.
Except Raquel.
Fuck my whole entire dumbass life.
I tore the blanket back, grabbed the first shirt I saw and dragged it over my head as I ran out of my bedroom.
Most of my friends I had invited for the party were gone. A few stragglers on the couch, one on the stairs. I stepped over them as if they were gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Nothing would stop me from getting to the office on the first floor.
I ripped open the door, barely slowing from a run as I entered the office. I’d wipe the security camera and Rhett would never know.
The paranoid fucker checks the camera if he has anything in the garage with a party going on. He’s paid more than one person from my school a visit after they’d drunkenly stumbled in the garage.
I’d been kicked in the chest as soon as I entered.
Okay, not really, but it felt like that as all the air left my body.
“You’re a goddamn idiot,” Rhett said.
He was leaning over the desk. White knuckles appear to tear into the oak surface. His eyes shot daggers in my head and his teeth gritted as he spoke.
/> “She doesn’t know anything!”
“We’ll see about that when she joins us for dinner.”
“Rhett, that’s not a good idea,” I said, stepping closer to the desk.
“Get her over here this week.”
In an instant, he rounded the desk and stood toe to toe with me. His anger radiating off him in waves.
“You know what’s not a good idea? Using a fucking stolen car to get laid!” He said and a vein popped out on his forehead.
I brought my hands up, attempting to calm him, but holding my rage in check also. I couldn't explain it, but my chest stirred with anger when he said shit like that about Raquel.
I stood taller. “She’s a friend from school. She doesn’t know anything. Let’s keep it that way.”
“Have her here at six.”
My fists balled at my sides. It had been awhile since I swung on him. It didn’t end well for me usually, but today, I had more than enough adrenaline to knock this fucker out.
He looked at me, noticing that I was squaring up with him. “Mom and dad know about me; I wonder what they’d think if they knew you were in on it.”
“Goddammit Rhett!” I slapped the picture frames off my father’s desk. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him. “I’ll get you back for this shit.”
He actually fucking laughed in my face. “I hope she was worth it.”
I’m going to fucking kill my brother.
After I convince Raquel to lie to him.
She can’t know everything. I’m a fucking idiot for thinking I could be close to someone with the shady shit my oldest brother has going on.
I’m used to a quiet breakfast. Frozen food popped in the toaster, a coffee, total solace before I endured the hell on Earth that most people call high school.
But that has changed since we moved. Grandma is apparently on the same schedule I’m on. She has a ‘yogurt parfait’ she explains to me every morning, and some sort of weird tea.
I nod so much during our conversation, I’m positive I resemble a cartoon character, but she never seems to notice.
She wants a relationship with me, I think? Or she hates my mom so much, she wants me to be on her side. Either way, she’s not that bad.
Dare Me: The Pierce Boys of Georgia, Book One Page 6