by Teagan Kade
I feel my scowl deepen. “I have this reservation down for a group of Eagle Scouts.”
“Huh, strange,” he says, shrugging. “I’m sure I told you guys our group was eight and nine-year-olds. The person who took the call must’ve gotten it wrong.”
“That person was me and you said Eagle Scouts,” I answer, setting my jaw.
“It’s all the same though, right? We’re already here and besides, my boys know what they’re doing.”
The kids have grouped together. They’ve all got their packs and flashlights for the night hike, excitement in their eyes. Truthfully, I was sneaking off to these woods at that age myself.
“You do realize there are real dangers out here—cougars, bobcats… all kinds of predators, not to mention the possibility of getting separated.”
“Dude, will we see any wolverines?” one of the kids shouts.
“Wolverines aren’t real, dummy. It’s just a cartoon character,” another boy taunts, several of his friends joining in the laughter.
A lively debate sets in as the boys distract themselves.
“Look, I don’t feel comfortable with a group this young,” I tell the leader.
He takes off his glasses and argues, “No way, we’ve already paid good money. I promised these boys a goddamn adventure.”
“And if one of them gets separated? If we run into trouble? Are you going to call their parents and explain you endangered their boys because you’d already ‘paid good money’?”
“I’ll explain that they expect me to turn their boys into men, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I mean, come on, it’s not like we’re camping out here. I don’t see the problem. If it’s an issue I need to take up with the Better Business Bureau, though, I’m happy to do that…”
Rick the Dick makes his point. I ball my fist up readying to land a solid left hook to his diminutive jaw, but damn it, we don’t need issues with the BBB right now.
It’s just a hike and it’s a big enough group I don’t actually think we’d have any issues with predators. Still, I don’t like being in charge of these little kids. What the hell am I supposed to do if shit hits the fan? You can bet Rick’s as useless in a crisis.
I step close enough only he can hear me, sneering down at him. “You want to do this, fine. But I’m telling you now, anything comes up, you better know how to handle these kids. I’m not a fucking babysitter.”
Ava comes around the corner and smiles at the kids. The group of boys goes quiet in appreciation. I hear a couple of them whispering. I can’t blame them. In the soft, fading light, with her golden light-brown hair tossed over her shoulder and her little shorts and boots, she looks too perfect to be real—a young Cindy Crawford in REI gear.
The boys’ fascination gives me an idea.
I jog over to her. “Hey, do you think you could stay and go on a twilight walk with this group? They’re a lot younger than the reservation said. Another adult would be really helpful.”
She looks surprised. “If you think it would help, I guess so. I don’t know much about keeping kids in line…”
I lower my voice, whispering. “Well, the fact that they all seem to have a crush on you will probably help.” I smile.
“Fitting, the only cute boys asking me out are fourth-graders,” she jokes with a self-deprecating laugh.
I want to argue I tried to ask her out at Riley’s, but there seems little sense in pointing out what I’m trying to move past. Still, the knowledge she’s not getting any other dates warms me a touch more than it should.
We set out and, for a bit, things seem okay. Ava and I point out some edible plants, the boys use their flashlights to try and spot bats, and by the time we reach the turnaround point, they’re having a good time.
The boys are loud, naturally, so we don’t see much in the way of wildlife. But as the sun sinks lower and lower and the forest is shrouded in darkness, slowly more and more noises start popping up around us. There’s leaves rustling, scuttling claws on bark, the last screeches of life from some poor animal in the distance. The owls come out, making their calls and swooping above us through the canopy. The mood starts to shift.
A loud, jarring shriek sounds in the distance. Rick the Dick surprises us all as the first one to panic.
“My god. Someone is being murdered out there!” he shouts.
The kids all start whimpering, looking scared.
“Relax, it’s probably just coyotes,” I assure him. “There are tons of them out here.”
“Coyotes hunt in packs. If they’re in large enough numbers, they’ll take on human prey,” a boy scout with wire-framed glasses points out.
Thanks, genius.
“Everyone, there’s nothing to worry about. We’re already on our way back, it won’t be too much longer,” I try to say, but another shriek sounds and the kids don’t even hear me.
One little boy starts crying and Rick is only feeding into it. “What if it’s a cougar? Do you have a gun with you? I can’t believe you’re a guide and you don’t carry a freakin’ firearm!” He starts descending into hysterics, stoking the boys’ fears and testing the limits of my patience.
Fuck.
This is exactly what I was afraid of. I’m no good with kids. My own little brothers were born a full seventeen years later than me. Mom made it damn clear I was not to be a part of their lives, negative influence that I was.
“Hey! Have you guys heard the kookaburra song?” Ava calls out.
The kids turn to her nervously. She claps. “Okay, I’ll start and you guys join in as you pick it up.”
She starts singing a weird melody about a kookaburra counting monkeys in a tree and sitting on an electric wire with his pants on fire. Whatever it is, the kids warm to the absurdity of the song, laughing and joining along for the chorus. Soon enough, I spot the trailhead approaching.
Rick the Dick wastes no time hurrying the group into the van again and high-tailing it out of there. The boys were readily distracted, but his scared ass is still clearly terrified. Something tells me he won’t be doing another twilight walk for the boy scouts any time soon.
I turn to Ava, she’s still waving to the kids as they pull away.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “I would have been screwed out there without you.”
“Sure,” she replies. “I’m actually surprised I didn’t get scared, but I figured coyotes are basically glorified little dogs, so what’s to be scared of?”
“You have a really beautiful voice, you know that?”
She turns towards me blushing. “Thanks, but it’s only really good for distracting kids from coyotes.”
“Actually, I think it may have been a cougar,” I say offhandedly.
The color in her face drains and her eyes widen more than I thought possible. “Are you serious?”
The shriek sounds again, as if on cue, and she screams, grabbing onto me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
AVA
The screaming picks up and I slam my eyes shut, a trembling I can’t control coming over me. I can feel Dean’s arm around me, his voice soft at my ear, but I don’t know what he’s saying. All I can see is the darkness, all the fear of that night rushing back to me.
It was summer then and the air was warmer, the brush thicker. Life was easier then, simpler. I’d gotten home from school and was sprawled in the living room reading Julie of the Wolves for my book report. I remember marveling at her resiliency, wishing I could prove myself like that. I was ‘little Ava’ or ‘pipsqueak’ back then, and I hated it.
Dean and Dex knocked on the back door for Deric. As soon as I heard their ‘manly’ voices, I ran to my spying spot as my mom talked to them. Deric came down with a backpack, probably full of stolen beers from dad’s fridge in the garage, and assured Mom they were just going to climb a tree or something innocent. He’s always been a sweet talker.
They headed out.
I dashed to the side door and tried to catch them. “Hey, can I come too?” I asked, d
esperate to prove my own worth.
Deric snorted. “Guess again, pipsqueak. You’re too young, too slow, and too lame. I’m sure you have dolls that need tending to inside, don’t you? Get lost.”
They all laughed and kept going. Anger bubbled inside me. I grew bold. “Fine, I’ll tell mom how you’ve got Dad’s Coors…”
“You little brat!” he said darkly. “Fine, you want to come? See if you can keep up.”
“Dude, seriously? Your little sister?” Dex groaned, Dean rolling his eyes.
I didn’t care. This was my chance. I ran to get my bike. When I got back, they were already gone, but I knew their path, so I followed until I got to the woods behind Riley’s. I knew there was a shortcut they took to get to the Den from there, and in the distance, I was sure I could make out their laughter. The trail forked, and I heard their voices growing fainter, so I made a guess.
It was a bad one.
By the time I realized, I was totally off-course, it was getting dark and the trail, which was shoddy at best, was lost to the night, just like me. The sounds of animals on the hunt, calls of death, terrified me way more than Jason or Freddy Krueger ever could. I can still remember the smell of the moss I nuzzled into, the feel of the damp earth beneath me as I huddled, shivering all through the night, too scared to close my eyes.
Finally, morning came, but I was exhausted. I tried to find my way back to the trail but only got more and more lost. Animal sounds surrounded me, but at least it was light. I stopped to rest and passed out, wondering if this was where I would die.
When I finally opened my eyes, he was looking down at me. He scooped me up, putting his jacket around me and telling me everything was alright. I thought it was a dream, but it wasn’t—Dean had found me. I still have no idea how, but he did. I didn’t lay a foot back in those woods after that.
Until now.
And here he is, arms wrapped around me again.
The screams have stopped, and the vice gripping my insides starts to loosen. I’m still shivering, though—adrenaline probably.
Dean’s arms are warm, secure.
“Sorry… I know you probably think I’m a baby,” I mumble.
He laughs humorlessly. “Trust me, that’s not what I’m thinking.”
What’s he saying?
I’m suddenly aware of the hard line of his body and nuzzle closer. He tenses... and that pressure at my hip. It can’t be what I think it is, can it?
The cougar screams again, and I wince. “Why does it have to sound like that? So evil…”
“It’s horny,” he says bluntly.
I laugh. “What?”
“It’s a female. She’s calling for a mate.”
“Kind of desperate, if you ask me.”
Dean laughs and the sound warms me. He’s still holding me and I don’t want him to let go, so I try not to move, try not to do anything that might break the spell of this perfect feeling.
His deep voice sounds at my ear. “My dad used to say she’s the spirit of a bride whose groom went out to hunt for their wedding feast. He killed a stag on sacred ground and the mountain spirit grew angry. The ground opened up and swallowed him, trapping him in the mountain to repay what he had taken. His bride went out looking for him, calling out, relentless in her search. Her voice was so desperate, so beautiful the mountain spirit wished to keep her for himself, but she would not have him, knowing he’d taken her love. So, spurned and vengeful, he turned her into the cougar and she’s doomed to wander the woods, looking for her lost love.”
“That’s beautiful—tragic, but beautiful. Is it a Chinook story?” I ask, knowing Dean’s father was Native American.
“I don’t know, maybe… hard to say. I was so young when he died. Half of what I remember of him might be my own imagination at this point.”
“I’m sorry.”
There’s a pain in his voice I want to soothe. The cougar has started calling again, but I don’t hear it anymore. I look up at Dean, placing a hand on his chest. I sigh, relaxing into him, my fingers splaying, absorbing the heat beneath his shirt.
Dean’s eyes meet mine and something unsaid passes between us, something magnetic that draws me closer to him. There’s a hunger growing that feels both unreal and impossible to deny.
I’m leaning into him and, as if I’ve tumbled into a preteen dream, he’s leaning towards me.
This is it. This is really it. He’s going to kiss you.
I lick my lips and as his mouth dips closer to mine, I let my eyes flutter closed.
‘Ding!’
A loud, obnoxious chime comes from his pocket. Reality comes crashing back so suddenly I jump.
Something clouds Dean’s eyes and his hands drop from me in an instant. He reaches into his pocket and pulls the phone out. My purse starts vibrating at the same time.
“Deric’s at Gracie’s, wants me to join him. He must have gotten back from Dex’s tour while we were out with the boy scouts,” he reads.
I scan my screen. “Yeah, I’ve got the same.” Deric is probably counting on me to be his designated driver.
Thanks, big brother.
I pause, biting my lip, what do I do now? My lips are tingly, ready as they were to be kissed.
“Are you going?” Dean asks.
“Are you?” I look at him, his green eyes hard to read.
He rakes his hand through his hair, a gesture I’m learning to recognize for when he’s fighting himself. “Hell, why not. Someone’s got to look after your brother.”
*
“Heyyyy! You came!” Deric calls from his stool.
I walk over and join him, ordering a hard cider for myself.
There’s a petite redhead who reminds me of a slutty Anne of Green Gables sitting on the other side who he quickly introduces as “Kia… er, Kayla?”
Same old Deric.
The bartender slams another drink down in front of him, shooting him the evil eye. Same old Deric, indeed.
I scan the room, looking for Dean. We drove separately and now I’m wondering if he’s going to show at all. I gulp the cider down hoping it’ll calm my nerves.
“Whoa, easy there, little Ava. We both know you can’t hold your liquor, even if it is chick beer.”
I roll my eyes. “I guess that makes two of us.”
Kia-slash-Kayla laughs. “It’s okay. You earned a bit of fun after all that hard work today!”
Gag me. It’s super obvious she’s not talking about getting a little sloshed as she inches her hand up his thigh. A few minutes and some uncomfortable innuendos later, and they’re sucking face… to my disgust.
I move down the bar from them and sip my next cider, checking my phone. Still no Dean. Of course he’s not going to come, what was I thinking? Maybe I should just head home like the good, vanilla girl I am.
A hand snakes around my waist and for a half a second I feel my breath catch.
He came.
I smile and turn.
“You’re looking way too hot to be sitting all alone, little Miss Ava,” Brody says, his hand sliding from my hip and boxing me in against the bar with his chubby frame.
I lean back away from him. “You couldn’t have said that from two feet away?”
“Then I’d miss the view,” he says, leering down my shirt.
I stand and start to push him away. “Sorry, but this viewpoint isn’t open to the public.”
He doesn’t seem to budge. “What? You too good to fuck a townie now, city girl?” His breath, heavy with alcohol, crowds my face.
I’m about to slap him when he stumbles backwards.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch her again,” Dean growls at him.
Brody sways, clearly too drunk to hold his own, and he knows it. Instead, he spits, “What you gonna do about it, mixed breed? Do a little rain dance and hope I get wet?”
Dean stares him down, fists clenched. “Try me, you racist lump of shit.”
Deric comes over. “Hey! Dean’s here! Kara, this is Dean, my bu
ddy I was telling you about.”
Brody mumbles something inaudible and walks off like the coward he is.
I look to Dean only to find his eyes are on me, focused with an intensity that’s bordering on scary.
Deric cuts the tension, ordering another round for our little group. I drain my pint glass, feeling even more unsure and unsettled now Dean is here.
The cider goes to my head, as hoped. The lights seem softer, almost sparkly and I’m swaying to the music. I hear myself laughing a little too loudly and asking Deric if he’s texted mom his ‘codeword’ yet. Safe to say, I’m comfortably buzzed.
An hour or two passes in a pleasant haze. Even though Dean hasn’t said much to me, his eyes flash with a heat that isn’t hard to interpret.
It’s the same way he was looking at me in Riley’s.
He wants me… me!
My confidence grows and I get reckless. It’s stupid, I know it is, letting anything happen with Dean, but I’m past the point where I have any will to stop it.
Deric is yapping on about walking Kia/Kayla/Kara back to the motel where she’s staying. “It’s dark,” he cautions, in a lame and transparent bid to hook up. Slutty Anne of Green Gables takes the bait. They’re about to stumble out when he turns back to me.
“Shit, Ava, you’re too buzzed to drive yourself, aren’t you?”
I’m about to argue I’m fine when Dean interrupts. “I’ll give her a lift.”
Hearing the words sends a shiver of awareness down my back.
“Thanks, man, I can always count on you to look after Ava. I owe you one,” Deric winks.
*
We walk out to Dean’s truck. He opens the cab for me, supporting me with a hand at my arm as I step up. His hand rests there for a moment before he swallows and steps away, closing the door.
He climbs in next to me saying nothing and my stomach does a little flip as the truck rumbles to life. Dean pulls out onto the road.
“So, where are we going?” I ask, trying to sound as sexy as I know how.
He looks over at me with a smirk. “We aren’t going anywhere. I’m taking you home like I promised your brother.”
“What? But…”