by Spring Trees
Nan Ge Er hesitated for a while, ready to put down the pot in his hands.
He did know that there was such a custom here, but he hadn’t experienced it himself before; hence, it made him a little flustered.
”I’ll go.” Mo Shu put down the bowl in his hand, standing up and opening the door.
”Ugh…” Nan Ge Er hesitated even more.
To tell the truth, he wasn’t sure if Mo Shu was drunk; though that fellow’s movements seemed normal, and he talked comprehensibly, he just felt that this wasn’t the usual Mo Shu.
That fellow won’t do something absurd, right?
Worried, Nan Ge Er instantly stood up, following him out, “Mo Shu-xian…”
Oh!
”Ugh…” It was the sound of him sucking in the cold air.
”Nn Nn Nn Nn Nn …” That was the sound of him stuttering, who knew if he was saying “south south” or “man man.”2
”Mo Shu-xiansheng!” An unbelievable wail emerged.
There was a bunch of people crowding outside the door, currently staring with shocked expressions at him and… Mo Shu.
What’s wrong?
Nan Ge Er was a little confused as he looked at everyone; he then looked at Mo Shu, who seemed normal, except for being a little alluring, before finally looking at himself.
He inhaled sharply.
I forgot I’m wearing Mo Shu’s clothes now—plus my unkempt just-woke-up appearance—I’m so dead—who knows what everyone is thinking—who knows if anyone would listen if I explained—how shitty can my fainting be to make me run into such a predicament—if Mo Shu were a female I could at least be a bit calmer—bastard—the problem is, although Mo Shu looks elegant, in reality he is much more handsome than me—oh sorry I have forgotten that I could only be considered ugly now—fuck—what the heck is going on—why did it turn out this way—how can I face anyone now….
Anyway, after realizing that he was wearing Mo Shu’s clothes, Nan Ge Er’s brain was in utter havoc.
Looking at Nan Ge Er sinking into a blank, confused expression, Mo Shu smiled faintly, saying, “I only drank a bit of wine.”
After hearing those words, the child in front, who was wearing a fake beard, red robes and a traditional Chinese gauze hat, pretending to be Cai Shen, widened his mouth even bigger, not even realizing that the fake beard on his chin had fallen to the ground.
The others spontaneously gasped even louder.
“After that, Nan Ge Er’s clothes got dirty, so he wore mine.” Mo Shu continued explaining.
“Wu…”
“Gu…”
“Goodness…”
“Oh…”
All sorts of exclamations were accompanied by the clashing sound of items dropping to the floor from their hands, making for a boisterous scene.
Startled by the noise, Nan Ge Er finally calmed down, taking yet another deep breath, he decided he still needed to explain, “Erm-”
“Sorry, we were wrong!” The brat who had dropped his beard cut off the sound Nan Ge Er made when he tried to explain; he bent down, bowing deeply.
”Ah?” Nan Ge Er looked at the bunch of people, confused.
“We will be leaving Mo Shu-xiansheng to you, Furen!3” Everyone began bowing down uniformly, as they announced loudly.
Nan Ge Er’s legs twitched, nearly making him fall.
Oi. Who. Are. You. Referring. To. As. Furen?!
“We won’t be disturbing you then, Mo Shu-xiansheng!” The others didn’t explain at all, nor did they want to listen to any explanation; after blindly making an uproar, they instantaneously turned around uniformly, and swiftly disappeared from those two’s field of vision.
Nan Ge Er’s face turned into black stripes; although he really had no idea what in the world Mo Shu had said, he knew that merely his appearance would never be able to cause such an uproar.
He turned to face Mo Shu—What the heck did you tell them?!
”I only briefly stated the truth.” Mo Shu smiled innocently, elegantly and charmingly.
I don’t believe that at all!
Nan Ge Er gave him a ferocious glare.
He had thoroughly realized, Mo Shu definitely wasn’t a good person.
Hidden beneath his graceful appearance, there was an evil, two-faced heart!
“Anyway,” Mo Shu laughed indifferently, “let’s continue our breakfast.”
What the heck, did you mean to continue drinking when you said ‘continue’?!
Nan Ge Er’s eyes widened.
”I’ll get some wine first,” Mo Shu said naturally as though it were to be expected, as he walked towards the backyard.
… This fellow is really a drunkard!
Nan Ge Er instinctively tugged on Mo Shu’s sleeves.
Mo Shu turned his head around, raising his eyebrows as he looked at Nan Ge Er.
”Daren, although I don’t know when you had your breakfast, I feel that you need to have some porridge now, and then rest.” Nan Ge Er was expressionless when he spoke. That fellow had already drank the whole night, wasn’t that enough for him?!
He actually wasn’t such a presumptuous and impulsive person.
It was just that at the moment, he didn’t know why, in a bizarre turn of events, he thought that he should curb Mo Shu’s self-harming behavior; he felt that he probably got a bit closer to Mo Shu.
However, once the words left his mouth, he slightly frowned again—he still felt that he was too meddlesome.
On the contrary, Mo Shu began to smile faintly.
“Sure,” he replied straightforwardly, “I will sleep if you do too.”
”Ah.” Nan Ge Er stared at Mo Shu blankly, completely clueless as to why Mo Shu would state such an absurd condition.
Also, I have been sleeping together with Mo Shu the past few days, alright?
“And we have to sleep together,” Mo Shu smiled as he continued, “It isn’t good to sleep alone.”
”Why not?” Nan Ge Er blankly, unconsciously asked.
”Because I don’t get to hug you,” Mo Shu’s reply was clean-cut. Even though there wasn’t much on Nan Ge Er’s skinny body, plus he was a male, his size was just right to be hugged, and also, yup, his head was really round, perfect for stroking.
He felt that covering Nan Ge Er in a hug was the best position.
Thus, he instinctively, egoistically replied.
“…” Nan Ge Er felt that he shouldn’t have asked such an unconscious question…
What am I? A bolster? Mo Shu-Daye4! Are you a little child who hasn’t even reached the age of five? You still need a bolster to sleep?
Nan Ge Er felt black stripes and crossveins popping up on his forehead, a complicated emotion stirring up in him.
I really want to spank him.
However, since the infuriating fellow in front of him was his direct superior, he could only stop himself from wanting to beat him up, gnashing his teeth as he spoke, ”Whatever then.” I must have gotten my head kicked by a donkey to worry about this fellow.
He turned around, going around him, walking to the canteen to eat.
Looking at the back of Nan Ge Er’s head, which practically had steam coming out of it, Mo Shu didn’t speak for a while; then, he abruptly started smiling lightly.
“Children should always be full of vitality.”
… Ugh, Mo Shu-xiansheng, you only managed to anger Nan Ge Er…
You totally don’t understand what the phrase ‘full of vitality’ really means, alright?!
* * *
1 Cai Shen, Chinese god of Wealth (one of my fav god) more info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caishen and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year#Second_day
2 The words Nan Ge Er stuttered was “Nan”, which is also the pronunciation for ‘south’ and ‘man’
3 Furen: a term used for someone’s wife
4 Daye: usually used as a term of respect for an older man, it could also be used to sarcastically express dissatisfaction towards someone.
Chapter 17
* * *
“Have you heard?”
“Ahem, mn, it’s Nan Ge Er. After drinking, the two of them did that…”
“Mo Shu-xiansheng moves real fast, huh.”
“Shh shh, you should address Nan Ge Er as ‘Furen’ now.”
“You’re right, hey, why is Furen’s face so dark? Is his body still not well…”
“…Heh heh, what do you think, being together with Mo Shu-xiansheng, his body still isn’t well…”
“Oh oh, I see. Heh heh…”
Nan Ge Er was walking on the streets; as he listened to the wretched laughter coming from those two, his face became darker and darker.
…I really want to rush back this moment, and spank that sweet-food-con1 to death!
When he went out on the fifth day of the first lunar month, he realized that Mo Shu and he had become the target of the district’s gossip, and they were even imagining them in that respect.
Utterly devastating him.
By no means was he homophobic, but he really didn’t bat for the same team.
During the time when he could fall in love, he had a crush for a certain cute girl in the Chinese department, when he had just started being interested in love. He also had a spark for a few girls in his class.
All of them, females!
And when he arrived in this world, he did have intimate experiences with others too; those were all females as well!
Thus, he never thought he had the possibility of offering himself to a certain guy as a bride.
No matter how perfect Mo Shu is.
Besides, isn’t there something going on between Mo Shu and Advisor Zhu Xi?
Moreover, he felt that he had already lost the passion and affection he had for humans, no longer needing love or warmth.
However now, before he returned to spank a certain someone, he had to take a cat back home from the red-light district.
As the food at home gradually increased, rats began to find it a good place to live; furthermore, since the government office was huge, it was infested by rats; Nan Ge Er had arranged to borrow someone’s cat to scare the rats.
Actually, Nan Ge Er secretly thought that the biggest rat in the government office would be Mo Shu.
Because it was only the third day of the month when all of the stored food that was intended to be eaten throughout the month disappeared; although Mo Shu claimed that he didn’t eat anything, and that it might be the work of rats.
However, Nan Ge Er felt that the rats were probably wrongfully framed …
Mo Shu’s nature made his words, no matter how severely spoken, suspicious.
Although almost everyone in the district knew about the rumor, Nan Ge Er did know that they weren’t ill-intended, alright, perhaps it was their way to give their blessings…
Hey!
Is the current society so open-minded? Is it ok for your saint Mo Shu-xiansheng to be together with another guy?
Also, I’ve already said that I don’t even have an in-ti-mate- relationship with your Mo Shu-xiansheng!
“Oh Nan Ge Er~” Groups of alluring ladies, who were still on their Chinese New Year break, lay on the fence at the loft, shouting to him while grinning se-duc-tive-ly.
Nan Ge Er lifted his head up, smiling towards the ladies upstairs.
Though the temperature was low, and they wore quite a lot as well, with furry scarves around their necks, their cleavages, and snow-white com-ple-xion were still faintly discernible.
He stood on the street; looking into the distance, there were groups of seductive prostitutes and money-boys2 who had woken up a tad earlier, looking downstairs as they laze around on top, a colorful array of handkerchiefs waving around.
Yup, he had arrived at the red-light district.
All kinds of brothels, with varied signboards and erotic names, gathered in that street; the whole street was heavy with the smell of cosmetics.
“Look at Nan Ge Er’s outfit,” a woman wearing a red fox-fur robe coquettishly lay there, lowering her head as she looked at Nan Ge Er, while chatting with her sisters3 beside her, “just like a fur ball.”
Next to her was a woman with a brown embroidered coat; with her handkerchief covering her mouth, she giggled faintly, “Isn’t that true, from a distance, he looks just like a ball rolling in.”
As Nan Ge Er heard the two’s conversation above, his face unwittingly turned to black stripes.
I’m really sorry; I just can’t wear it as flirtatiously as you guys.
…That’s right, noticing Nan Ge Er’s fondness for that white fur coat, during the first lunar month, Mo Shu had managed to get Nan Ge Er another fur coat from God knows where.
“Hey, Nan Ge Er, come on up to have a cup of tea.” Another one of them seemed to have just woken up, casually rolling her sleeves up, as she languidly greeted Nan Ge Er.
“Another time perhaps, I have to go to Chun Jiao’s place to borrow her cat.” Nan Ge Er notified the ladies, “I’ve arranged with her beforehand.”
Unexpectedly, once Nan Ge Er’s words got out of his mouth, the ladies upstairs were stunned for a moment, before bursting out giggling.
Noticing their behavior, Nan Ge Er felt something was wrong; stopping in his tracks, he stared blankly at the ladies who were in fits of laughter, “What, what’s wrong?”
Nan Ge Er’s expression made the ladies laugh even louder, the ones who were a bit more extreme even started raising their handkerchiefs to wipe the tears from their eyes.
“Oh Nan Ge Er, don’t you know?” One of the more sympathetic ladies finally resisted the urge to burst out laughing again, and explained.
“Hah?” Nan Ge Er was dumbfounded.
“Chun Jiao’s pseudonym is ‘Cat’, do you intend to bring her back to catch rats? Or to catch the little rats on you guys?” As she spoke out those perverted and violent words intrepidly, she cast a strange glance to Nan Ge Er’s lower body; before she finished her sentence, and she began laughing her head off again.
Everyone upstairs smacked their hands on the railing as they laughed wildly.
A whole bunch of black strips fallen from the skies, brutally crashed onto Nan Ge Er’s head—he really wanted to disappear from the ladies’ line of sight.
No wonder when he asked everyone if they had any obedient cats, they would always have a wretched expression; no wonder when he discussed the matter with Chun Jiao, she had such an exaggerated laugh…
All of them, not reliable at all!
Nan Ge Er was infuriated internally…
Everyone finally stopped laughing, looking at Nan Ge Er, who was dazed as he stood on the street, one of them started cracking a joke again, “Who knew Nan Ge Er and Mo Shu-daren had such a kink?”
“Why don’t you let me come too?” another lady on the side laughed as she made a pass at Nan Ge Er, “You don’t have to pay me, I can even pay you guys two yin4 for a night.”
“Hey, how crafty, I want to go too, Nan Ge Er, I will pay three liang4 for a night.”
“Three liang and five qian.”
“I’ll pay four liang!”
“I’ll pay five liang, meals included.”
“Rascals, the one Nan Ge Er arranged with is clearly me! What are you fighting over for?!” … Miss Chun Jiao, who was ‘working’, rushed over in a rage from the end of the street, stomping up the stairs; she didn’t forget to entice Nan Ge Er by throwing a flirtatious glance at him while she berated the ladies…
“You did say it is just an arrangement, so Nan Ge Er has the freedom to choose anyone he likes.”
…
Nan Ge Er stood in the middle of the street awkward and trembling, with the group of ladies unrestrained as they made fun of him—why oh why is the atmosphere so auction-like?
“How is it?” The onlookers passed by Nan Ge Er, patting on the shoulders of the fur coat, “You’re really popular, huh, choose one then.”
“Look, even the top rank in Nong Xiang Ge brothel wants to be your house cat, not
bad, huh?” God knows when Nan Ge Er being surrounded by a bunch of idle fellows, noticing that there was a scene going on, they began circling around, having a lively conversation as they looked on.
“The ladies in Zhu Yan Guan brothel are clearly prettier, they’d be a good choice too.”
“As a matter of fact, the guys in male brothels are much more suitable, look, the money-boys in Yang Qiu Lou brothel seem to be interested as well.”
“Oh oh, they aren’t a bad choice either.”
“This one is great too.”
In the midst of clashing opinions, Nan Ge Er was unable to move, with black clouds hanging over his head.
Everyone began piling over; the ladies upstairs kept making jokes about him, the guys in the male brothels began throwing over handkerchiefs and other random stuff as well…
He couldn’t escape, nor hide anymore.
Was it a mistake for me to go out today without checking the calendar5? Is today an unlucky day for me to go out?
It was the first time Nan Ge Er felt such a disorientating despair.
Maybe he got too anxious from the pressure, so Nan Ge Er stammered and faltered for quite a while,” …I, I, I…” His face reddened, as he howled rather frantically, “I sell my skills but not my body!”
Everyone became silent.
In a flash, the street was deafened with silence.
Only the word “body..dy..dy” said by Nan Ge Er echoed.
Perhaps the echo was just his imagination, but Nan Ge Er was practically teary-eyed from the anguish.
He totally gave up all hope.
After half a second, the entire street was filled with bouts of laughter.
Nan Ge Er was practically bursting into tears as he stood dumbly in the middle of the bunch of rascals; he was fuming with embarrassment.
He had the urge to hold his head in his hands and curl up for eternity.
He had never faced such embarrassment in his life. Great, so many particularly gossipy fellows had heard it now…
Well, I’m utterly famous now!
What kind of stupid place is this, why are the workers in the red-light district so haughty, why is everyone just idling around in the streets instead of being busy making a living? Why are they all such senseless gossips?